C&CDean
4/6/2006, 07:57 PM
You know, just when you think you've done it all, seen it all, ate it all, and nothing will surprise you.......................
My dinner experience tonight:
I'm in a hotel in Merrifield Virginia. I see a little Chinese/Korean restaraunt across the street. I think "sounds good." So, I head over there.
First, there's a "spanish food" sign on the door, and some Spanish looking chick behind a bar, and some Spanish looking dude drinking a beer. But there's a Korean lady, and a Korean dude (also drinking a beer) too so I figure I'll go for it.
She brings me a menu, written completely in Korean, and she can't speak a single word of English. All the while, there's two older Korean ladies sitting in a corner across from me - and I'll get back to them in a minute. Anyhow, she goes "ding fi don win fo chu?" I go "sure, sounds good, does it come with soup?" She goes "sure, soup beef yeah." I go "cool, hook a brother up."
So, while she leaves, one of the old ladies across the way starts coughing. All of a sudden she hocks up a big ol' loogey, opens a napkin, and spits it into the napkin. We're talking 8 feet away from me. She holds the napkin open and shows it to the other lady and sticks her finger in the loogey and says something in Korean. Anyhow, I'm thinking "damn, that's nasty."
So, the waitress lady brings me like 5-6 small bowls of food. One of them was kimchee (cause it smelled and tasted like dirty feet), another was cold potatoes, another was cold greens that tasted pretty much like weeds in vinegar, and another was cold cucumbers in some hot and spicy sauce, and another I couldn't identify. Being the graceful diner that I am, I dug in.
About halfway through these delightful dishes, Ms. Seoul 1934 across from me coughs up another chunk of lung and spits it into the napkin again. I'm halfway through a bite of kimchee that was especially toe-cheesy at the time. I'm thinking "damn, that's nasty." And then I got the real surprise.
Ms. Seoul sits back in her chair, and lifts her shirt and tucks it under her chin. She had green stretch pants on pulled clear up over her tittays. She nonchalantly reaches down, and frees two of the flattest, droopiest, ugliest tittays I've ever seen out of the top of her britches. She flops them up and down a couple times, looks at me and smiles, and then lowers her shirt.
About this time, waitress lady shows up at my table with a big ol' plate of what I can only assume is beef with onions and garlic, and the beef still has hunks of fat all over it. She brings a bowl of hot sauce with it and says "hot, you like, numba one." I go "yeah, thanks, good stuff" and commenced to grubbing out.
Ms. Seoul gets her order about this time - two big, flat pieces of dried up fish with the bones/tail/etc. still attached that literally stunk the joint up. My first thought? The fish looked just like her tittays.
Anyhow, I managed to finish everything and about that time waitress lady shows up with a giant bowl of soup. She goes "soup, yeah good, numba one" and does the thumbs up dealio. This soup was something that is probably in the egg drop family - but they forgot to cook anything in it.
Being the gracious diner, I ate the whole damn bowl. Waitress lady brings my check ($14) and I pay and prepare to leave. As I'm leaving, Ms. Seoul is digging through the fish bones sucking out little pieces of fish, goes into another coughing frenzy, coughs up yet another chunk of lung - only this time she spits it on her plate right next to the fish. I'm just staring with my mouth open and she looks up and gives me the biggest "come **** me GI" smile she could muster. I smiled back and said "thank you, you nasty." She laughs and bows a couple times and goes back into her fish like she was starving to death.
Now, I'm back at the hotel with a bottle of Sprite, having kimchee burps and memories of a very good $14 lesson. The lesson? I know one Korean/Chinese restaraunt in the Washington, DC area that I can scratch off my list of places to eat.
My dinner experience tonight:
I'm in a hotel in Merrifield Virginia. I see a little Chinese/Korean restaraunt across the street. I think "sounds good." So, I head over there.
First, there's a "spanish food" sign on the door, and some Spanish looking chick behind a bar, and some Spanish looking dude drinking a beer. But there's a Korean lady, and a Korean dude (also drinking a beer) too so I figure I'll go for it.
She brings me a menu, written completely in Korean, and she can't speak a single word of English. All the while, there's two older Korean ladies sitting in a corner across from me - and I'll get back to them in a minute. Anyhow, she goes "ding fi don win fo chu?" I go "sure, sounds good, does it come with soup?" She goes "sure, soup beef yeah." I go "cool, hook a brother up."
So, while she leaves, one of the old ladies across the way starts coughing. All of a sudden she hocks up a big ol' loogey, opens a napkin, and spits it into the napkin. We're talking 8 feet away from me. She holds the napkin open and shows it to the other lady and sticks her finger in the loogey and says something in Korean. Anyhow, I'm thinking "damn, that's nasty."
So, the waitress lady brings me like 5-6 small bowls of food. One of them was kimchee (cause it smelled and tasted like dirty feet), another was cold potatoes, another was cold greens that tasted pretty much like weeds in vinegar, and another was cold cucumbers in some hot and spicy sauce, and another I couldn't identify. Being the graceful diner that I am, I dug in.
About halfway through these delightful dishes, Ms. Seoul 1934 across from me coughs up another chunk of lung and spits it into the napkin again. I'm halfway through a bite of kimchee that was especially toe-cheesy at the time. I'm thinking "damn, that's nasty." And then I got the real surprise.
Ms. Seoul sits back in her chair, and lifts her shirt and tucks it under her chin. She had green stretch pants on pulled clear up over her tittays. She nonchalantly reaches down, and frees two of the flattest, droopiest, ugliest tittays I've ever seen out of the top of her britches. She flops them up and down a couple times, looks at me and smiles, and then lowers her shirt.
About this time, waitress lady shows up at my table with a big ol' plate of what I can only assume is beef with onions and garlic, and the beef still has hunks of fat all over it. She brings a bowl of hot sauce with it and says "hot, you like, numba one." I go "yeah, thanks, good stuff" and commenced to grubbing out.
Ms. Seoul gets her order about this time - two big, flat pieces of dried up fish with the bones/tail/etc. still attached that literally stunk the joint up. My first thought? The fish looked just like her tittays.
Anyhow, I managed to finish everything and about that time waitress lady shows up with a giant bowl of soup. She goes "soup, yeah good, numba one" and does the thumbs up dealio. This soup was something that is probably in the egg drop family - but they forgot to cook anything in it.
Being the gracious diner, I ate the whole damn bowl. Waitress lady brings my check ($14) and I pay and prepare to leave. As I'm leaving, Ms. Seoul is digging through the fish bones sucking out little pieces of fish, goes into another coughing frenzy, coughs up yet another chunk of lung - only this time she spits it on her plate right next to the fish. I'm just staring with my mouth open and she looks up and gives me the biggest "come **** me GI" smile she could muster. I smiled back and said "thank you, you nasty." She laughs and bows a couple times and goes back into her fish like she was starving to death.
Now, I'm back at the hotel with a bottle of Sprite, having kimchee burps and memories of a very good $14 lesson. The lesson? I know one Korean/Chinese restaraunt in the Washington, DC area that I can scratch off my list of places to eat.