Idea for the Tonight Show (Hey Dean!) [Archive] - SoonerFans.com Message Boards

slickdawg

3/28/2006, 12:55 PM

as an alternative to the fruitcake lady, they need a segment titled

ASK DEAN

You ask Dean, and he'll give you the answer. Not an answer, THE answer.

I think he'd be rather helpful in guiding these lost souls. :D

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/28/2006, 12:59 PM

'Hey Dean, what do you think about these PB&J sandwiches you can buy that already have the crusts cut off?'

slickdawg

3/28/2006, 01:01 PM

'Hey Dean, what do you think about these spinner rims that are in style today?'

handcrafted

3/28/2006, 01:02 PM

Hey Dean, what do you think of people who dress up in colorful costumes and armor and beat each other with fake swords...and play live chess games...and listen to lute and dulcimer music...n' stuff...

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/28/2006, 01:10 PM

'Hey Dean, do you have an iPod?'

mdklatt

3/28/2006, 01:21 PM

Hey Dean, what do you think of these guys (http://www.leehotti.com/)?

slickdawg

3/28/2006, 05:22 PM

Instead of WWJD bracelets, we could have WWDD bracelets made.

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:34 PM

'Hey Dean, what do you think about these PB&J sandwiches you can buy that already have the crusts cut off?'

Fagwiches.

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:34 PM

'Hey Dean, what do you think about these spinner rims that are in style today?'

Fagwheels.

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:35 PM

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:35 PM

'Hey Dean, do you have an iPod?'

WTF is an "iPod?"

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:36 PM

Hey Dean, what do you think of these guys (http://www.leehotti.com/)?

Fags.

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:36 PM

Instead of WWJD bracelets, we could have WWDD bracelets made.

Well, yeah.

JohnnyMack

3/28/2006, 05:41 PM

Hey Dean, do you have to wait 30 seconds between posts like the rest of us mere mortals?

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:45 PM

Hey Dean, do you have to wait 30 seconds betweed posts like the rest of us mere mortals?

Yeah, right.

Rogue

3/28/2006, 05:47 PM

Hey Dean, do you have any investment advice?

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:48 PM

Hey Dean, do you have any investment advice?

Mason. Jars.

JohnnyMack

3/28/2006, 05:48 PM

Hey Dean, do you have any investment advice?

:dean: mason jars, shovel, YWIA. :dean:

IronSooner

3/28/2006, 05:48 PM

Hey Dean, what goes better with merlot - brie or camembert?

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:49 PM

Hey Dean, what goes better with merlot - brie or camembert?

Cheez Whiz ya' ****in' hillbilly.

Howzit

3/28/2006, 05:57 PM

Hey Dean, didja get that SC pitcher I peem'd ya?

C&CDean

3/28/2006, 05:59 PM

Hey Dean, didja get that SC pitcher I peem'd ya?

Smokin!!

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/28/2006, 06:10 PM

'Hey Dean, if a rogue bull humps my bestest cow what should I do?'

BeetDigger

3/28/2006, 06:50 PM

'Hey Dean, if a rogue bull humps my bestest cow what should I do?'

Charge admission.

Whoops. You were asking Dean. Sorry.

Blue

3/28/2006, 08:10 PM

Hey Dean, who will win American Idol and who gets voted off tomorrow?

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/28/2006, 08:21 PM

'Hey Dean, what should I mix my Crown Royal with?'

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

3/28/2006, 08:24 PM

"Hey Dean, What is the best medicine if I fall on a railroad spike?"

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 11:43 AM

'Hey Dean, if a rogue bull humps my bestest cow what should I do?'

Get in line.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 11:43 AM

Hey Dean, who will win American Idol and who gets voted off tomorrow?

Who cares?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 11:43 AM

'Hey Dean, what should I mix my Crown Royal with?'

Air.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 11:44 AM

"Hey Dean, What is the best medicine if I fall on a railroad spike?"

Taintment.

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 12:09 PM

'Hey Dean, my son wants to be a rapper. What should I do?'

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

3/29/2006, 12:11 PM

"Hey Dean, who was a better band: Nirvana or Nine Inch Nails?"

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 12:13 PM

"Hey Dean, should I throw away my pink hat?"

BeetDigger

3/29/2006, 12:13 PM

"Hey Dean, natural or artificial insemination?"

JohnnyMack

3/29/2006, 12:16 PM

'Hey Dean, where do I hide all these bodies?'

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:16 PM

'Hey Dean, my son wants to be a rapper. What should I do?'

Teenacide.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:17 PM

"Hey Dean, who was a better band: Nirvana or Nine Inch Nails?"

Nazareth.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:18 PM

"Hey Dean, should I throw away my pink hat?"

You shouldn't even own one.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:18 PM

"Hey Dean, natural or artificial insemination?"

Humans?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:19 PM

'Hey Dean, where do I hide all these bodies?'

In your gay garden.

1stTimeCaller

3/29/2006, 12:22 PM

You shouldn't even own one.

:dean: <---------- pink hat !!!!!

JohnnyMack

3/29/2006, 12:23 PM

In your gay garden.

That's wasn't really all that funny. I expected more.

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 12:25 PM

That's wasn't really all that funny. I expected more.

Dean isn't funny. He's right.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:26 PM

That's wasn't really all that funny. I expected more.

See the above post.

Sooner in Tampa

3/29/2006, 12:26 PM

Hey Dean...when should I plant my tomatoes?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:27 PM

Hey Dean...when should I plant my tomatoes?

Easter Sunday.

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 12:28 PM

"Hey Dean, where do animals go when they die?"

Sooner in Tampa

3/29/2006, 12:29 PM

Hey Dean...who is your favorite to be the next Survivor ?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:30 PM

"Hey Dean, where do animals go when they die?"

In the bellies of carrion eaters.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:30 PM

Hey Dean...who is your favorite to be the next Survivor ?

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:31 PM

Oh. I thought you said "show."

To answer the original question:

Some fag. Or fagette.

Sooner in Tampa

3/29/2006, 12:32 PM

Hey Dean...who would win in a fight between Richard Simmons and Biker Fox ?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 12:33 PM

Hey Dean...who would win in a fight between Richard Simmons and Biker Fox ?

1TC.

1stTimeCaller

3/29/2006, 12:35 PM

Dean, you know that I'm a lover and not a fighter.

Soonrboy

3/29/2006, 12:37 PM

Hey Dean, should I go ahead with the hip replacement surgery for my wife's poodle?

1stTimeCaller

3/29/2006, 12:40 PM

Hey Dean, should I take my date to go ride go-karts this weekend or do the dinner and a movie crap. And we went to a Messican place last time, what kind of place should I take her this time?

BeetDigger

3/29/2006, 12:46 PM

"Hey Dean, right hand or left?"

IronSooner

3/29/2006, 12:47 PM

Dean, what age should I let my daughter pierce her ears at?

IronSooner

3/29/2006, 12:48 PM

Hey Dean, did Thomas Crapper really invent the toilet?

TUSooner

3/29/2006, 12:55 PM

Hey Dean, do you have to wait 30 seconds between posts like the rest of us mere mortals?

Dean doesn't wait to post, posts wait for Dean.

Yep, I got nuthin... :(

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/29/2006, 01:13 PM

'Hey Dean, what are your favorite jeans to cut-off and make a nice pair of jorts out of?'

pb4ou

3/29/2006, 01:41 PM

"Hey Dean, where do animals go when they die?"

In the bellies of carrion eaters.

http://x11.putfile.com/3/8712353890.gif (http://www.putfile.com) Whatchu talkin' about, Dean?

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

3/29/2006, 02:49 PM

Hey Dean, Is it a good idea to send my kid to Nazarene church camp? VK is the sponsor.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 02:58 PM

Hey Dean, should I go ahead with the hip replacement surgery for my wife's poodle?

Sure. Replace it with a 150 gr. hollow point.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 02:59 PM

Hey Dean, should I take my date to go ride go-karts this weekend or do the dinner and a movie crap. And we went to a Messican place last time, what kind of place should I take her this time?

Who cares? Just don't **** on her rug. MMKay?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 02:59 PM

"Hey Dean, right hand or left?"

There's only right. And wrong.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 03:00 PM

Dean, what age should I let my daughter pierce her ears at?

48

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 03:01 PM

'Hey Dean, what are your favorite jeans to cut-off and make a nice pair of jorts out of?'

Roundhouse bib overalls. DOH.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 03:01 PM

Hey Dean, Is it a good idea to send my kid to Nazarene church camp? VK is the sponsor.

Sure. If you want your kid to learn all about bongs, booze, boobs, and blowjobs.

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

3/29/2006, 03:06 PM

Hey Dean, You gonna answer my PEEM anytime soon?

BeetDigger

3/29/2006, 03:06 PM

Sure. If you want your kid to learn all about bongs, booze, boobs, and blowjobs.

Dammit, I knew I should have gone to church camp when I was young.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 03:07 PM

Hey Dean, You gonna answer my PEEM anytime soon?

Dean answers peems in his own good time.

JohnnyMack

3/29/2006, 03:14 PM

'Hey Dean, seen any SC's today?'

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/29/2006, 03:17 PM

'Hey Dean, have you ever shaved your chest?'

1stTimeCaller

3/29/2006, 03:19 PM

'Hey Dean, is it OK to watch pron with other guys?'

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/29/2006, 03:22 PM

'Hey Dean, I can't make my kid do his chores - what should I do?'

Osce0la

3/29/2006, 04:03 PM

Saw this out on the net, thought we should get Dean's take on it...

Dean, I'm ready to tear my hair out. My boyfriend of two years refuses to divorce his wife. He tells everyone he wants to marry me. He says he doesn't love her, he just "doesn't have time" to go and get the divorce.

She was in a mental hospital for a while for killing her boyfriend. Now they talk a lot, and he says he feels sorry for her. I want him to get the divorce so he can marry me.

Am I pushing too hard on this, because I told him if he isn't divorced by July 4, I am leaving.

IronSooner

3/29/2006, 04:23 PM

Dean, what's the better road to buff: tae bo or pilates?

BeetDigger

3/29/2006, 04:33 PM

"Hey Dean, do I raise with an off-suit A-Q when I am not on the button?"

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:05 PM

'Hey Dean, seen any SC's today?'

Supercuts, by the mall.

BoogercountySooner

3/29/2006, 05:05 PM

Hey Dean Flintlock or Inline?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:06 PM

'Hey Dean, have you ever shaved your chest?'

No, but my chest hair has rubbed a few nips raw in it's time.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:07 PM

'Hey Dean, is it OK to watch pron with other guys?'

For you, yes, For me, no.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:08 PM

'Hey Dean, I can't make my kid do his chores - what should I do?'

Call me.

IB4OU2

3/29/2006, 05:08 PM

Hey Dean, slate call, box call or diaphram?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:09 PM

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:10 PM

Dean, what's the better road to buff: tae bo or pilates?

I usually take I-95 N, and turn at Syracuse.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:11 PM

"Hey Dean, do I raise with an off-suit A-Q when I am not on the button?"

I don't play strip poker with other guys.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:12 PM

Hey Dean Flintlock or Inline?

Flintlock for civil war reenactments, inline for hunting.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:12 PM

Hey Dean, slate call, box call or diaphram?

This is a family board mister. Keep that filth in the gutter where it belongs.

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/29/2006, 05:15 PM

'Hey Dean, how do I get my woman to clean the house, yo?'

pb4ou

3/29/2006, 05:16 PM

Hey Dean, Copenhagen or Skoal?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:16 PM

'Hey Dean, how do I get my woman to clean the house, yo?'

9 1/2" usually does the trick.

Viking Kitten

3/29/2006, 05:17 PM

Dean, my husband says he'll meet me at the door, cocktail in hand, every night when I come home, but he draws the line at wearing an apron.

How severely should I beat him?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:17 PM

Hey Dean, Copenhagen or Skoal?

I don't travel to Europe.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:18 PM

Dean, my husband says he'll meet me at the door, cocktail in hand, every night when I come home, but he draws the line at wearing an apron.

How severely should I beat him?

Call me.

IB4OU2

3/29/2006, 05:34 PM

9 1/2" usually does the trick.

10 1/2" works better......

Osce0la

3/29/2006, 05:34 PM

Hey Dean, who will win the Final Four?

JohnnyMack

3/29/2006, 05:34 PM

9 1/2" usually does the trick.

You have to do her 3 times? :texan:

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/29/2006, 05:37 PM

'Hey Dean, what kind of hair care products do you use on your coif?'

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

3/29/2006, 05:40 PM

Hey Dean: The other night I came home from work early and what I saw disturbed me greatly. My husband was watching a movie on Lifetime and crying like a baby. Is this normal?

Viking Kitten

3/29/2006, 05:43 PM

'Hey Dean, what kind of hair care products do you use on your coif?'

THIS IS A FAMILY BOARD!!!!11

slickdawg

3/29/2006, 05:44 PM

I love this thread.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:48 PM

Hey Dean, who will win the Final Four?

Basketball season has been over for almost a week now.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:49 PM

'Hey Dean, what kind of hair care products do you use on your coif?'

Canola oil.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:50 PM

Hey Dean: The other night I came home from work early and what I saw disturbed me greatly. My husband was watching a movie on Lifetime and crying like a baby. Is this normal?

If you're married to Johnny Mack it is.

IronSooner

3/29/2006, 05:50 PM

Hey Dean, I ordered some girl scout cookies recently. The girl showed up the day she said she would with the boxes I ordered. However, after paying her, she wouldn't leave. She said she had to sell 10 more boxes to reach some quota. When I told her I had no more money she took my dog and ran off. What should I do?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:50 PM

THIS IS A FAMILY BOARD!!!!11

Kinky.

slickdawg

3/29/2006, 05:51 PM

We really do need to have some WWDD bracelets made. Hell, t-shirts,
keychains, car tags, bumper stickers.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:51 PM

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:52 PM

We really do need to have some WWDD bracelets made. Hell, t-shirts,
keychains, car tags, bumper stickers.

Well, yeah.

IB4OU2

3/29/2006, 05:53 PM

Pat-Hey Dean, How far away is Uranus?

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

3/29/2006, 05:54 PM

Hey Dean: At 8 am a freight train leaves town traveling at 90 mph. At noon a passenger train leaves the same station traveling in the same direction, along the same route at 150 mph. How long will it take the passenger train to overtake the freight train? How far will they be from the station at this time?

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 05:56 PM

"Hey Dean, I have this friend that likes other guys, but doesn't know if his friends will hate him. What should this friend do?"

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:57 PM

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:58 PM

Pat-Hey Dean, How far away is Uranus?

'taint far.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 05:58 PM

"Hey Dean, I have this friend that likes other guys, but doesn't know if his friends will hate him. What should this friend do?"

Call Johnny Mack.

Howzit

3/29/2006, 05:59 PM

Pat-Hey Dean, How far away is Uranus?

And as a corollary, are there Klingons there?

JohnnyMack

3/29/2006, 05:59 PM

Call Johnny Mack.

You're the one with the pink hat.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:01 PM

And as a corollary, are there Klingons there?

No, but there are some wimpy little thunderstorms from time-to-time.

1stTimeCaller

3/29/2006, 06:01 PM

:dean: <----------- pink hat !!!!!!11

Sooner Born Sooner Bred

3/29/2006, 06:01 PM

Hey Dean, My man has a headache. What do I do?

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:02 PM

Hey Dean, My man has a headache. What do I do?

Quit biting.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:04 PM

:dean: <----------- pink hat !!!!!!11

Yes, it's true. It is the last and final stage of full-blown homosexuality. You cannot see the difference between sweat soaked and faded and pink.

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/29/2006, 06:05 PM

'Hey Dean, what are your thoughts on dudes getting manicures?'

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:07 PM

'Hey Dean, what are your thoughts on dudes getting manicures?'

Speak english, please.

Howzit

3/29/2006, 06:07 PM

Hey Dean, my junk is too big. I don't have a question, just wanted to put that out there.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:08 PM

Hey Dean, my junk is too big. I don't have a question, just wanted to put that out there.

I've seen your junk. Trust me, it ain't anywhere close to "too big."

3/29/2006, 06:09 PM

It takes a special bread to understand the SO.

3/29/2006, 06:10 PM

I've seen your junk. Trust me, it ain't anywhere close to "too big."

NTTAWWT

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:10 PM

It takes a special bread to understand the SO.

Leave it to an aggy to **** up the word "breed."

Howzit

3/29/2006, 06:11 PM

mummf blf mmmmmf bm fmmmf bffffm

fixed.

3/29/2006, 06:11 PM

Sorry about that, Loosy.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:12 PM

fixed.

Says needledick the bug ****er.

BlondeSoonerGirl

3/29/2006, 06:13 PM

'Hey Dean, did you really beg dolemite for help on how to be a pimp?'

mdklatt

3/29/2006, 06:13 PM

It takes a special bread to understand the SO.

Sourdough? Mmmmmm....sourdough.

C&CDean

3/29/2006, 06:15 PM

'Hey Dean, did you really beg dolemite for help on how to be a pimp?'
Doleo is the illegitimate child I don't speak about.

IronSooner

3/29/2006, 06:16 PM

I like potato bread when I can get it. Good stuff.

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 06:17 PM

I think we're more of a focaccia. But that's just because it looks and sounds funny.

mdklatt

3/29/2006, 06:18 PM

Hey Dean, my junk is too big.

[SO tailgaters]Your junk's not too big, your shorts are too small.[/SO tailgaters]

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 06:24 PM

"Hey Dean, I have problems sleeping at night. What gives?"

mdklatt

3/29/2006, 06:26 PM

"Hey Dean, I have problems sleeping at night. What gives?"

:dean: Obviously not your girlfriend.

NormanPride

3/29/2006, 06:28 PM

Hey-oh!

Howzit

3/29/2006, 06:34 PM

[SO tailgaters]Your junk's not too big, your shorts are too small.[/SO tailgaters]

You say po-tay-to, I say po-tah-to.