View Full Version : Anyone here ever "keyed" the car of an ex-lover?
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 04:24 PM
....or let the air out of their tires. Or maybe wrote "cheating b@st@rd" or "beyotch" (depending on their gender of course) on their convertible top with a Sharpie.
Just wondering.
Seems like a totally futile, yet perhaps gloriously rewarding way to let someone know you're not quite "over" them.
discuss
SicEmBaylor
3/25/2006, 04:25 PM
I saw it done the other day. There was a car in the parking lot that had been spray painted with the words, "I'm a cheating bastard."
I stabbed my ex-wife and her boyfriend once, to show her that I still loved her.
Signed,
OJ Simpson
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 04:29 PM
I saw it done the other day. There was a car in the parking lot that had been spray painted with the words, "I'm a cheating bastard."
That's what I'm talking about. Is it only a thing a passive aggressive type would do? What does it say about the person who does it? Spineless, or smart enough to hit 'em where it hurts?
Al Gore
3/25/2006, 04:38 PM
Are you trying to get us to confess????
slickdawg
3/25/2006, 04:39 PM
I know a guy that wrote
BITCH
on his cheating wife's car windows with rain-x , so when it rained......
damned funny
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 04:40 PM
Are you trying to get us to confess????
naw, I just enjoy trying to figger out what makes people tick and why they do stuff.
Al Gore
3/25/2006, 04:42 PM
Nope....never have!!!!
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 04:43 PM
Nope....never have!!!!
Methinks thou doth protest too much.
Al Gore
3/25/2006, 04:45 PM
Well...I never had an ex-lover.......
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 04:47 PM
Well...I never had an ex-lover.......
oh, so you a smoove mac-daddy and all the beyotches you be done loved-up on stay loved on an sh17.
I get it.
Flagstaffsooner
3/25/2006, 04:48 PM
I pee in gas tanks.
Al Gore
3/25/2006, 04:50 PM
I had plenty of ex-sex babes......
Al Gore
3/25/2006, 04:51 PM
When I found a lover...I married her!!!!!
Al Gore
3/25/2006, 04:51 PM
I pee in gas tanks.Octane boost..
MiccoMacey
3/25/2006, 04:52 PM
There was a white picket fence near 12th and College that had the word "b!tch" spray painted across it in big bold black paint.
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 04:53 PM
There was a white picket fence near 12th and College that had the word "b!tch" spray painted across it in big bold black paint.
creative and decorative!
Flagstaffsooner
3/25/2006, 04:57 PM
Octane boost..Gasahol.
MiccoMacey
3/25/2006, 04:59 PM
creative and decorative!
And on the front side of the fence, it read, "I'm Okla-homey's..." :D
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 05:05 PM
And on the front side of the fence, it read, "I'm Okla-homey's..." :D
she could only wish.
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 05:11 PM
I bet VK wouldn't resort to keyage. She would just chop off the offending member with her battle-axe then belt out a Wagnerian aria.
I bet VK wouldn't resort to keyage. She would just drive his car into livestock.
There, I fixed it for you. :D
This new avatar of Homey's is going to take some getting used to.
sanantoniosooner
3/25/2006, 07:46 PM
This new avatar of Homey's is going to take some getting used to.
And yours doesn't?
And yours doesn't?
I've changed mine several times; to my knowledge, Homey's has always been (or at least for a looooong time) the same....until today.
sanantoniosooner
3/25/2006, 07:49 PM
I've changed mine several times; to my knowledge, Homey's has always been (or at least for a looooong time) the same....until today.
What kind of tool keeps the same avatar for so long?
TheHumanAlphabet
3/25/2006, 09:07 PM
....or let the air out of their tires. Or maybe wrote "cheating b@st@rd" or "beyotch" (depending on their gender of course) on their convertible top with a Sharpie.
Just wondering.
Seems like a totally futile, yet perhaps gloriously rewarding way to let someone know you're not quite "over" them.
discuss
No, but I did keep a cordless screwdriver of an old girlfriend I had when she broke up with me. I kept it thinking she would have to call me to ask for it back and then I could talk to her and ask why she broke up (it was all sudden-like). Well she never did call and I never gave it back...I saw her about 2 years later at the Arts Festival, she was two people in front of me in a food line. I was with Mrs. THA (then my fiance), after we met she was kidding me the ex was lesbo, I said nuh-uh and then it hit me :stunned:! It all made sense after that...ewww
Oh, and for bizarre reason, it felt really good to keep the cordless screwdriver even though it was no good to me - she had the charger...
Viking Kitten
3/25/2006, 09:16 PM
I bet VK wouldn't resort to keyage. She would just chop off the offending member with her battle-axe then belt out a Wagnerian aria.
I stayed on friendly terms with pretty much every guy I ever went out with. The one guy it didn't end on friendly terms with was a worthless punk who wasn't worth the powder it would take to blow him up, much less the effort it would have taken to key his car.
But I did key a chick's car once in high school. She REALLY had it coming though.
Stanley1
3/25/2006, 09:21 PM
Once, but the crazy biotch deserved it, and so much more.
Edit: The funniest part was, at least to me, that the car was brand freakin' new. She probably hadn't owned it for a month.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 09:37 PM
A friend of mine had biotch keyed into the hood of her car. She tried to cover it up with paint...but the color didnt match. So know it sticks out even more...heh
Back when I was young, we just spelled it 'bitch'.
Stanley1
3/25/2006, 09:40 PM
Back when I was young, we just spelled it 'bitch'.
Post reported.
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 09:40 PM
heh...I spell it that way to. But the person who keyed her car spelled it 'biotch'....
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 09:41 PM
I heard somwhere you could spell out something nasty on someone's lawn in grass seed during the early spring, then when the lawn greens-up, the new grass will be a different color and the word will be apparent. Seems like a long time to wait to get your licks in.
SoonerInKCMO
3/25/2006, 09:43 PM
But I did key a chick's car once in high school. She REALLY had it coming though.
Ooh! Anyone I might know? http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/ToddG/brow.gif http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/ToddG/pray.gif
I heard somwhere you could spell out something nasty on someone's lawn in grass seed during the early spring, then when the lawn greens-up, the new grass will be a different color and the word will be apparent. Seems like a long time to wait to get your licks in.
Plus you'd have to fly over anyone you wanted to show.
Seems like a lot of expense. Maybe that's just for rich *******s.
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 09:46 PM
I heard somwhere you could spell out something nasty on someone's lawn in grass seed during the early spring, then when the lawn greens-up, the new grass will be a different color and the word will be apparent. Seems like a long time to wait to get your licks in.
Bleach works quicker...so I am told :D
Stanley1
3/25/2006, 09:46 PM
Seems like a lot of expense. Maybe that's just for rich *******s.
Beef?
Someone keyed "*******" in the roof of my car waaaaay back in '99. I just laughed and told everyone now I'd be able to tell which car was mine. :D
Jimminy Crimson
3/25/2006, 09:53 PM
Someone spray painted a neighborhood fence by our HS with: JENNIFER S. IS A SLUT!
I think it was something to do with band drama. Crazy kids.
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 09:54 PM
Bleach works quicker...so I am told :D
...or a ketchup squirt bottle stolen from a cafe, filled with "Round-up" and used as a grass killing writing implement.
Jimminy Crimson
3/25/2006, 09:57 PM
I think dry laundry detergent in gutters makes a soapy mess.
Supposedly a 'gross' thing to do is pour some cans of soup on someones driveway where the summer sun can bake it in. :confused:
Also, Cheerio's 'fertilize' a yard nicely before a rainstorm. ;)
olevetonahill
3/25/2006, 09:57 PM
Octane boost..
depends on what we been drinking . I have to use a funnel tho. I cant get my hose in those Little gas tank openings ;)
SicEmBaylor
3/25/2006, 09:58 PM
I think a decent question to ask beyond have you ever keyed an ex's car is "What is the worst way you've screwed over an ex."
Why limit it to keying cars? :D
Viking Kitten
3/25/2006, 10:01 PM
Ooh! Anyone I might know? http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/ToddG/brow.gif http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/ToddG/pray.gif
Different high school. Sorry to disappoint.
Czar and I once put a whistle tip on a different girl's car, before whistle tips became the "in" thing.
olevetonahill
3/25/2006, 10:04 PM
What kind of tool keeps the same avatar for so long?
This tool , thank you , Ive NEVER found a better one :)
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 10:05 PM
Different high school. Sorry to disappoint.
Czar and I once put a whistle tip on a different girl's car, before whistle tips became the "in" thing.
did he make her go woo-woo-woo?
Oldnslo
3/25/2006, 10:05 PM
1. fertilizer works. Big bro had some friends who did that one. Lasts all year!
2. Bleach/roundup works, too. Not as long-lasting.
I have never.
NEVER, NEVAR had anything to say to an ex. If I broke up with her, I already knew why, and if she broke up with me, I didn't have anything to say, either, and I sure didn't want to hear more from her.
But, I've never key'd anybody. I'm a car guy.
I've only heard from 2 former gf's (apart from HS reunion). One wanted to get back together. No. way.
The other was a girl I almost married. Would've done it if she hadn't kept on pressuring me to marry her before I was out of school. I was steadfast in not wanting to get hitched until after law school. She wanted to get married RIGHT NOW.
Anyway, 15 or so years later, we meet on a streetcorner by my office 'round lunchtime:
Her: How's it going?
Me: Great! I'm a lawyer with my own practice. I'm married to another lawyer, with two kids, A and B. We live here in town.
Her: oh... that's everything you ever wanted... B is the name of my cat...
Me: Great to see you!
Living well is the best revenge.
Viking Kitten
3/25/2006, 10:08 PM
did he make her go woo-woo-woo?
Only in the mornin'. You suppose to be up cookin brefuss or somethin'.
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 10:08 PM
This tool , thank you , Ive NEVER found a better one :)
While I certainly admire the Sooner spirit, I have never been too partial to the "turbo" OU. I prefer the classic block OU. But, to each his own I say.
Oldnslo
3/25/2006, 10:09 PM
Kind of the flipside to my other story. At the HS reunion, I ran into the girl who was my crush of all-time crushes. Beautiful, smart... just a wonderful, wonderful person.
Yeah, she's married to a guy with a great sense of humor. Runs a hedge fund. They just bought a place out at Grand Cayman.
She made the right call!
Flagstaffsooner
3/25/2006, 10:15 PM
Oh, jeez. Interlock smack.
Stanley1
3/25/2006, 10:16 PM
I had some "friends" through cans of beans in our front yard.
Also, shredded paper is fun to clean up.
Jimminy Crimson
3/25/2006, 10:23 PM
Can't believe there hasn't been a 'flaming poop on doorstep' post yet... :dissapointed:
Stanley1
3/25/2006, 10:24 PM
Can't believe there hasn't been a 'flaming poop on doorstep' post yet... :dissapointed:
Haha.....he calls his s*** poop. :D
Haha.....he calls his s*** poop. :D
Shouldn't you be going over budget reports?
Stanley1
3/25/2006, 10:34 PM
Shouldn't you be going over budget reports?
Nah, I'm actually caught up at the moment.
Thanks for asking though. :rolleyes: ;)
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 10:38 PM
Back in highschool...my friends and I use to 'fork' peoples yards...Its funny watching them get all the forks out
Back in highschool...my friends and I use to 'fork' peoples yards...Its funny watching them get all the forks out
Did you speed away in a covered wagon?
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 10:42 PM
Back in highschool...my friends and I use to 'fork' peoples yards...Its funny watching them get all the forks out
Eating utensils or pitch? If the former, how many? If the latter...that's just sick in a "Children of the Corn"-esque kinda way.
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 10:44 PM
Did you speed away in a covered wagon?
Yes we did since we had covered wagons 3 years ago :rolleyes:
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 10:45 PM
Eating utensils or pitch? If the former, how many? If the latter...that's just sick in a "Children of the Corn"-esque kinda way.
heh...eating utensils..the plastic kind. I think the most we ever used was 500...it all depends on the size of the yard
Yes we did since we had covered wagons 3 years ago :rolleyes:
See, that's called sarcasm because I know you're a young gal.
:)
Okla-homey
3/25/2006, 10:50 PM
heh...eating utensils..the plastic kind. I think the most we ever used was 500...it all depends on the size of the yard
dang girl, that sounds like work to stick 'em all out there. You'd really have to be nursing a white hot hatred for somebody to go to that sort of trouble. me likey!
Jimminy Crimson
3/25/2006, 10:53 PM
You're supposed to put the fork in, then break it off so they can't see it and then it screws up the mower blade.
...so I hear! ;)
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 10:54 PM
See, that's called sarcasm because I know you're a young gal.
:)
Heh....i knew it was sarcasm....thats just how i respond to it...sorry
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 10:56 PM
dang girl, that sounds like work to stick 'em all out there. You'd really have to be nursing a white hot hatred for somebody to go to that sort of trouble. me likey!
heh....yea...just a tad of hate
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 10:59 PM
You're supposed to put the fork in, then break it off so they can't see it and then it screws up the mower blade.
...so I hear! ;)
heh...we do that to people we really hate
Jimminy Crimson
3/25/2006, 10:59 PM
Heh....i knew it was sarcasm....thats just how i respond to it...sorry
dats how she rolls! :eddie:
Back in highschool...my friends and I use to 'fork' peoples yards...Its funny watching them get all the forks out
Motherforkin' whippersnappers....
LoyalFan
3/25/2006, 11:03 PM
Nope! That's a sophomoric thing to do!
I did, however, key the ex-lover once.
LoyalTheVengefulFan
crimsonrose
3/25/2006, 11:08 PM
Nope! That's a sophomoric thing to do!
I did, however, key the ex-lover once.
LoyalTheVengefulFan
wow...I have not heard that word in forever...
LoyalFan
3/25/2006, 11:11 PM
wow...I have not heard that word in forever...
Wait'll I use "Freshmanic", "Juniorific", or "Seniorocious"!
LF
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
3/25/2006, 11:17 PM
My next door neighbor's kid got beaned one year. Some kids unloaded a bag of dry beans all over their yard. The dew made them sprout.
IB4OU2
3/25/2006, 11:18 PM
A good looking (nutcase) girl I semi-dated in college let all the air out of my tires after she found out I was interested in a new girl (that's now my wife). Funny thing was I was taking her out on our first date when we found my car had flat tires so we took her 67 Mustang instead.
TheHumanAlphabet
3/26/2006, 04:47 AM
I heard somwhere you could spell out something nasty on someone's lawn in grass seed during the early spring, then when the lawn greens-up, the new grass will be a different color and the word will be apparent. Seems like a long time to wait to get your licks in.
Fertilizer or salt works fine. Fertilizer is nice, salt kills everything.
A friend spelled Sooners out in fertilizer on an Aggie Lite fan's lawn. Hilarity!
Gas works for lawns as well.
We used to gather up as many for sale signs as we could get and put them in the front yard of somebody we didn't like.
sanantoniosooner
3/26/2006, 09:38 AM
screw with my yard and I'll pop you with my 410.
My first girlfriend's mom got blown up in her car by mean crazy Rex Brinlee.
Okla-homey
3/26/2006, 09:44 AM
screw with my yard and I'll pop you with my 410.
<Uncle Jed> Jethro, hide Granny's shotgun.
Scott D
3/26/2006, 12:41 PM
Hmm...worst I have ever done is just get drunk and threaten lives.
AlbqSooner
3/26/2006, 07:05 PM
Had a client in Florida whose ex-girlfriend was suing him, claiming he made her a partner in his retail store. We rocked along with the case for a while and were on the verge of a settlement. One Monday I came in and her lawyer told me there would be no settlement now or ever. We would try the case.
After the case was over and my client had won the right to keep his business, he confessed to what had changed her attitude about settlement.
Seems "someone" put a nude picture of her on several Christmas cards that said "Hoping your wishes all come true at Christmas" and placed them in the doorways of her neighbors.
VeeJay
3/26/2006, 11:13 PM
There are some excellent ideas here for my looming, pending reprisal on Lady Asshat, a.k.a. "The Tree Lady" in my neighborhood.
It has been approaching nearly a year now (nine months to be exact), and the dust has settled. There has been relative calm along my street - no bitterness between neighbors; all seems to have subsided since the volley of responses were sent to Lady Asshat's neighbors, virtually outting her as the perp, since she went around blabbing about how horrible the street looked since trees had been cut. Everyone knew who she was and figured her for a nutjob, writing anonymous smartass letters, dressing down three neighbors for taking care of business (like, um, allowing sewer pipes not to clog up and create a bio hazard on our street). Yes, two thousand dollars out of my pocket so her sh!t can flow freely.
But now, the time is drawing near for the retailiation to commence. And, I have you, my SO friends, to thank for the generosity of your ideas. This could have all been avoided, and the hell about to be unleashed on Lady Asshat, would have been averted, had she kept her sentiments to herself and not f'ed with the wrong person, the twisted, mischievous, potentially criminal and vengeful person I am. She should only have learned her lesson, especially since Hurricane Wilma took out half the damned trees around here anyway, just mere weeks after Lady Asshat unleashed her vitriol.
NEXT: Newspaper clipping of the theft of low grade dynamite
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