Question for Married and Seriously Involved People

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

My coworker and I were just talking about dating and marriage, etc. He said that he knew his wife was "the one" on their first date.

How long did it take everyone else to find out?

I haven't met "the one" yet, or if I have, I don't know it. I can tell pretty quickly if I am interested in seeing someone again though.

[OUinFLA]

My wife told me I was the one after a couple of dates, and then added that if I ever dissagreed with her, she would beat the crap out of me.

June we are celebrating 30 years of happy, yet fearful marital bliss.

[Stanley1]

I can usually tell if I wanna "do" a girl the first time I meet her.

Other than that, I can't help you.

[TopDaugIn2000]

A few months ago I seriously thought he was. Now, not so much. More "no" than "yes" days. Still trying to cut the cord.

[OUinFLA]

I can usually tell if I wanna "do" a girl the first time I meet her.

Other than that, I can't help you.


Stanley's list of qualifications:
1. Is she breathing?

All else is irrelevant.

[Sooner in Tampa]

We dated for 4 months prior to getting married. We just celebrated 15 year last Oct...I don't really know if there was the defining moment...I just know that as soon as I saw her I was bonkers.

[JohnnyMack]

I can't see this thread ending well.

[Stanley1]

Stanley's list of qualifications:
1. Is she breathing?

All else is irrelevant.

Not true.

She also has to have 2 arms, and two legs. :cool:

[yermom]

A few months ago I seriously thought he was. Now, not so much. More "no" than "yes" days. Still trying to cut the cord.

i hope he doesn't read the board :eek:

as for the question, i plead the 5th on this one :D

[OU Adonis]

A few months ago I seriously thought he was. Now, not so much. More "no" than "yes" days. Still trying to cut the cord.

Ahh, one of those alternative lifestyle sorts of guys eh?

:D

[yermom]

Ahh, one of those alternative lifestyle sorts of guys eh?

:D

you obliously missed the 38DD thread ;)

[Okla-homey]

I have always maintained men don't decide to get married. Women do. The trick is getting the man to think its his idea. My wife was absolutely masterful in this department, I never saw it coming.

almost 24 years of wedded bliss here.

[OU Adonis]

I was dating this one gal for 3-4 months not too long ago, and she didn't want to consider it a relationship. (I.E didn't want anything more serious than casually dating) I asked her "How long do you like to date before you get serious?" She said about a year. I said CYA!

I personally know after a short time if I want to pursue anything serious. I dunno if I have ever really met "the one". Kind of sad really considering I am divorced. (Got married young and to the wrong gal)

[mrowl]

We figured it out after our first vacation together while dating. That is the best way to find out.

[OU Adonis]

you obliously missed the 38DD thread ;)

Its a kind of inside joke thingie. :D

[Herr Scholz]

I thought I knew what I wanted out of life until I got married. And then it was too late.

[C&CDean]

Stanley's list of qualifications:
1. Is she breathing?
2. Has she been weaned?

All else is irrelevant.

fixed

[yermom]

Its a kind of inside joke thingie. :D

carry on, then

[OU Adonis]

There are three rings in marriage people!

The engagement ring, the marriage ring, and the reconsideRING

[Okla-homey]

A few months ago I seriously thought he was. Now, not so much. More "no" than "yes" days. Still trying to cut the cord.

that's okay, we knew you would eventually come to your senses and kick Akmed to the curb.;)

[handcrafted]

Wife and I dated for 3 years, but we knew each other was "the one" about three weeks in. :D Coming up on 17th anniversary this summer.

[handcrafted]

that's okay, we knew you would eventually come to your senses and kick Akmed to the curb.;)

ROFL. :D

I'd like to know if TD2K is sorry she moved in with the guy now.

[yermom]

ROFL. :D

I'd like to know if TD2K is sorry she moved in with the guy now.

well, just think... they could be married and she could be deciding this ;)

[TUSooner]

The girl I thought was "the One" turned out not to be, after all. But I've been marrried "the Other One" for 28 years. ;)

[ChickSoonerFan]

I can usually tell if I wanna "do" a boy the first time I meet him

other than that.....:rolleyes:

[Okla-homey]

well, just think... they could be married and she could be deciding this ;)

touche'...but you don't have to shack-up to figure it out either. ;)

[OU Adonis]

I can usually tell if I wanna "do" a boy the first time I meet him

other than that.....:rolleyes:

I ALWAYS lust before I love. Kinda typical I know.

[IB4OU2]

The cold steel of Pappy's doublebarrel shotgun between my ribs helped me decide............;)

[TUSooner]

A few months ago I seriously thought he was. Now, not so much. More "no" than "yes" days. Still trying to cut the cord.
http://img479.imageshack.us/img479/5345/bowieknife4oy.jpg

YWIA

[AMSooner]

It was in the back of my mind about a month into dating and I was sure after about six months. We dated for 3.5 years before getting married though. We were still in college when we met and getting married wasn't really an option until after we graduated. Our second year of dating was pretty tough, but we made it through and have been married for almost eight years now.

[Scott D]

Things just seem comfortable I guess.....then again, I was one of those people who swore they'd never get married.

[Stanley1]

I can usually tell if I wanna "do" a boy the first time I meet him

other than that.....:rolleyes:

Smart ***.

[crawfish]

My wife and I were good friends first...by the time we started dating, we pretty much knew.

[handcrafted]

It was in the back of my mind about a month into dating and I was sure after about six months. We dated for 3.5 years before getting married though. We were still in college when we met and getting married wasn't really an option until after we graduated. Our second year of dating was pretty tough, but we made it through and have been married for almost eight years now.

Sounds amazingly similar to my story. Our "rough patch" involved 2 separate breakups. The thing was, while we were "broken up" we both dated other people, and the whole time we were with said other person, we were thinking about each other.

Made for a series of lame dates, lemme tell ya, not to mention the money that got thrown down the drain. :P

[OU Adonis]

My wife and I were good friends first...by the time we started dating, we pretty much knew.

I am almost never friends with the girls I date. Either they are ones I date, or they are friends. There isn't any crossover.

And I am almost NEVER friends with them after dating them.

[TopDaugIn2000]

ROFL. :D

I'd like to know if TD2K is sorry she moved in with the guy now.

no, I'm not. I learned a lot about myself as well, and I can take that with me for future relationships.

[Scott D]

no, I'm not. I learned a lot about myself as well, and I can take that with me for future relationships.

did that include the toaster and you leaving behind a large hamhock?

[crawfish]

I am almost never friends with the girls I date. Either they are ones I date, or they are friends. There isn't any crossover.

And I am almost NEVER friends with them after dating them.

I've been happily married for nearly 18 years. You? ;)

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I am almost never friends with the girls I date. Either they are ones I date, or they are friends. There isn't any crossover.

And I am almost NEVER friends with them after dating them.Not to be a smartass, but don't you think you need to be friends with the person? I would hate to be married to someone I didn't even consider a friend.

[Stanley1]

Not to be a smartass, but don't you think you need to be friends with the person? I would hate to be married to someone I didn't even consider a friend.

Chick is my friend.

[nmsoonergirl]

I knew really early in the relationship. We were friends for a while first, and I knew we'd stick together by our 3rd or 4th real date. We were both in our early thirties when we met, and that probably made it easier to figure it out quicker. After 15 years of dating, I could pretty much rule out the guys who weren't the one in about 45 seconds.

[ChickSoonerFan]

I ALWAYS lust before I love. Kinda typical I know.

I was kidding! geeezzz....

[BeetDigger]

you obliously missed the 38DD thread ;)


I did too. This is a thread that I shouldn't have missed.

[OUthunder]

My coworker and I were just talking about dating and marriage, etc. He said that he knew his wife was "the one" on their first date.

How long did it take everyone else to find out?

I haven't met "the one" yet, or if I have, I don't know it. I can tell pretty quickly if I am interested in seeing someone again though.







Moral of the story... love finds you and anything can happen.

The End

[Beano's Fourth Chin]

People should stop worrying about finding the right one and worry about being the right one.

If you aren't content and your life isn't going to be complete without that special someone, Mr./Mrs. right probably isn't going to help.

[Stanley1]

People should stop worrying about finding the right one and worry about being the right one.

If you aren't content and your life isn't going to be complete without that special someone, Mr./Mrs. right probably isn't going to help.

Thanks Dr. Phil.

[sooneron]

I married the chick that pretty much made me wait the longest. It wasn't an instaneous thing of "She's the ONE". We grew out of lots of little moments along the way.

[OU Adonis]

Not to be a smartass, but don't you think you need to be friends with the person? I would hate to be married to someone I didn't even consider a friend.

I didn't say I wasn't friends with them as well when I was dating, just not before or after. ;)

[BeetDigger]

I've been happily married ...


That is an oximoron. :texan:

[yermom]

People should stop worrying about finding the right one and worry about being the right one.

If you aren't content and your life isn't going to be complete without that special someone, Mr./Mrs. right probably isn't going to help.

seems a lot of people need to figure that out... makes a lot of sense

[C&CDean]

While I lusted greatly when I met my wife, the thing that's kept us together is the fact that we are best pals. If you are not friends with your mate, you're doomed.

Of course it helps that on our first date she said "I want you to be the captain of the ship. I will be the first mate. You make the day-to-day decisions, and on the very important ones, confer with me." She also said "I believe a woman's role is to take care of her mate and her family. More joy can be had by pleasing others than people know."

It's been 10 years this May, and so far, she's been good as gold. Better, in fact.

[OU Adonis]

I've been happily married for nearly 18 years. You? ;)

I will be the first to buy your book when it comes out ;)

[BeetDigger]

"More joy can be had by pleasing others than people know."


That should be every wife's credo.

[ChickSoonerFan]

Chick is my friend.


:O

now I feel bad about the smart *** comment.


True though. We are friends. Too. ;)

[TUSooner]

People should stop worrying about finding the right one and worry about being the right one.

If you aren't content and your life isn't going to be complete without that special someone, Mr./Mrs. right probably isn't going to help.
Hear him!!

[OUthunder]

That should be every wife's credo.

That and a few other things. :D

[RacerX]

Again I find myself in a similar situation as Crawfish.

Friends first, then married 18 years as of yesterday.

[RacerX]

Thanks Dr. Phil.

He's more like Oprah.

[TexasLidig8r]

Of course it helps that on our first date she said "I want you to be the captain of the ship. I will be the first mate. You make the day-to-day decisions, and on the very important ones, confer with me." She also said "I believe a woman's role is to take care of her mate and her family. More joy can be had by pleasing others than people know."



That www.DomsandSubs.com (http://www.DomsandSubs.com) is quite a site isn't it? :D ;)

[Oldnslo]

I knew on our first date that I was talking to my wife. We were talking over dinner. She put her hand on mine and the feeling was... electric.

We were married 3 years later (finished school).

Our 16th anniversary is this April Fool's day. That makes us Weintraub Family Champions, by a long stretch. She wasn't my friend before we dated, but she's been my best friend since. She's the love of my life; the mother of my children; the woman of my dreams, and the woman in my dreams. At least when she's not being a complete pain in the ***.

[Howzit]

I saw my wife for the first time when we were in highschool at a HUGE river party a friend and I were throwing. Saw her from a distance and never spoke with her. Never met her. And I knew then she would be the one, though I don't know that I knew at the time. Ya know? I just remember there being a feeling of recognition that something would happen some time.

Never saw her again (we weren't actually at the same school at the same time) until seven years later when we met at the OU pool. We started talking about mutual friends, and here we are 24 years later...

[ChickSoonerFan]

aawww...some of these stories are so sweet. Really. Thanks for sharing them.

I think it can happen either way though. I think sometimes you know right away and you are right. Sometimes you think you know right away and you turn out to be wrong. And sometimes you may meet someone and at first not feel it, no know it, and then it happens at some point or gradually.

[OU Adonis]

And sometimes you may meet someone and at first not feel it, no know it, and then it happens at some point or gradually.

So like knocking them up?

[PhxSooner]

I met my husband in the Pride. We were really good friends for a year or so, but dating other people. I was dating someone and it was serious enough that he started to mention engagement. My first thought was, "But if I marry you, I'll never get to date ***." Needless to say, ended that relationship and soon after started dating the future Mr. PhxSooner. From our first date, I "knew" that he was the one. My husband will tell you that he had no intention of getting married until he met me. I'm quite the catch, you know.;) :D

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

People should stop worrying about finding the right one and worry about being the right one.

If you aren't content and your life isn't going to be complete without that special someone, Mr./Mrs. right probably isn't going to help.I agree, but that's not the point of this thread. You do bring up an interesting point though. I have a friend who says "Don't worry, you'll find someone." She says it like I'm on a damn scavenger hunt.

[handcrafted]

While I lusted greatly when I met my wife, the thing that's kept us together is the fact that we are best pals. If you are not friends with your mate, you're doomed.

Of course it helps that on our first date she said "I want you to be the captain of the ship. I will be the first mate. You make the day-to-day decisions, and on the very important ones, confer with me." She also said "I believe a woman's role is to take care of her mate and her family. More joy can be had by pleasing others than people know."

It's been 10 years this May, and so far, she's been good as gold. Better, in fact.

OOooohh, you got a Proverbs 31 wife right out of the hat! My congrats. I'm still working on mine. :D

[handcrafted]

no, I'm not. I learned a lot about myself as well, and I can take that with me for future relationships.

What you really learned can be summed up in 2 words, dear: Jack and Squat.

You had no commitment with Achmed, so your shack-up will have told you absolutely zero about how you *would* react in a marriage. Marriage is funny that way. It's the most unique of human relationships and nothing prepares you for it. You're forced to *make* it work. Being able to dump your live-in on the proverbial sidewalk at any time doesn't do it.

I'm not trying to be hateful, just realistic. I suppose there is one thing you might have learned. If you learned that shacking up is a bad idea, then that's positive.

[n8v_ndn]

SBSB: You might do well for yourself living by the Red Sonja credo:

No man may have me, unless he's beaten me in a fair fight.

[SoonerInKCMO]

Not true.

She also has to have 2 arms, and two legs. :cool:

I met a girl in Tulsa once with one arm... I'da hit it.

[blueyedsooner]

I actually told my friend the night I met my hubby....back in '97 (I was 23) that I would, in fact, marry him someday. I had been seeing someone for a few years though and was loyal to him (more than I can say for that guy). We kept in touch through my friend over the years. I finally ended the lovely 7 year relationship I was in and was perfectly happy being single.
Some friends threw me a surprise 30th bday party in '04 and my husband came with my friend that introduced us. He had ended a relationship with my step-sons mom about a year before. We went out a few times, but that was it. Then in October started seeing each other again....all the time. Got engaged 2-14-05, got custody of kiddos 2-16-05 and married 7-29-05. Loads of fun!

Wow that was a book...sorry. :)

[Mjcpr]

What you really learned can be summed up in 2 words, dear: Jack and Squat.

You had no commitment with Achmed, so your shack-up will have told you absolutely zero about how you *would* react in a marriage. Marriage is funny that way. It's the most unique of human relationships and nothing prepares you for it. You're forced to *make* it work. Being able to dump your live-in on the proverbial sidewalk at any time doesn't do it.

I'm not trying to be hateful, just realistic. I suppose there is one thing you might have learned. If you learned that shacking up is a bad idea, then that's positive.

Why would being married change that? Just because you're married doesn't force you to make it work. If it does, then that's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. That's why they make divorce.....sometimes it just doesn't work out and nobody should be forced to make it work out.

[Skysooner]

Met my wife the first time on a blind date.

She was reasonably cute and was in grad school (so educated). We had a fun date the first time out until we talked about going to Brother's afterwards. She got all weid on me (long story), and I thought that now I didn't want to date her anymore.

I decided to give her a second chance since my prospects of dating anyone at the time were low (grad school engineering takes up a ton of time). I talked to her after the weekend, and we ended up on a double date with her roommate and a friend of mine. It was lights out after the first hour, and we were basically inseparable after that. Strange how it works.

We will have been married 15 years this June, and I can say without a doubt it was the best decision I ever made.

It was definitely more of a mental attraction than a physical one initially. Find someone cool who you find at least reasonably attractive. I think too many people think that they have to have that "wow" factor by the way someone looks or dresses. It comes down to more of is this someone that I can talk to and be around than anything else.

[C&CDean]

I actually told my friend the night I met my hubby....back in '97 that I would, in fact, marry him someday. I had been seeing someone for a few years though and was loyal to him (more than I can say for that guy). We kept in touch through my friend over the years. I finally ended the lovely 7 year relationship I was in and was perfectly happy being single.
Some friends threw me a surprise 30th bday party in '04 and my husband came with my friend that introduced us. He had ended a relationship with my step-sons mom about a year before. We went out a few times, but that was it. Then in October started seeing each other again....all the time. Got engaged 2-14-05, got custody of kiddos 2-26-05 and married 7-29-05. Loads of fun!

Wow that was a book...sorry. :)

Hey girl, where have you been? Did you use any of the music I offered in the wedding?

[handcrafted]

Why would being married change that? Just because you're married doesn't force you to make it work. If it does, then that's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. That's why they make divorce.....sometimes it just doesn't work out and nobody should be forced to make it work out.

That would be a philosophical difference between you and me then. I see marriage from a Biblical point of view (no, I'm not trying to threadjack religion into this thread, so calm yourself :)). The Biblical view is that divorce is only permissible if there's been infidelity.

You see it from a civil government point of view. Even still, it's much much easier to throw an unwanted live-in out than it is to get a divorce, at least in this state. It shows that we in Oklahoma still have some concept of the sanctity of marriage. If you don't treat marriage differently, then why have it in the first place? Let's all just shack up and bone the flavor of the month and then drop them like a used up newspaper when we're done?

[mdklatt]

It shows that we in Oklahoma still have some concept of the sanctity of marriage.

*snicker*

Oklahomans are so fond of the sanctitiy of marriage that many of us get married more than once....

[OUthunder]

Why would being married change that? Just because you're married doesn't force you to make it work. If it does, then that's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. That's why they make divorce.....sometimes it just doesn't work out and nobody should be forced to make it work out.


I see why 3/4 marriages in Oklahoma end up in divorce.

[handcrafted]

*snicker*

Oklahomans are so fond of the sanctitiy of marriage that many of us get married more than once....

Well, of course I mean legally speaking, not necessarily practically. :P

[BeetDigger]

She was reasonably cute and was in grad school (so educated).


Boy, THAT'S some sort of endorsement. :texan:

[Mjcpr]

I see why 3/4 marriages in Oklahoma end up in divorce.

Well, if you enforced it with the penalty of death you might be able to bump it up to 100% compliance.

[mdklatt]

Well, of course I mean legally speaking, not necessarily practically. :P

How are other states any different?

[Mjcpr]

I see why 3/4 marriages in Oklahoma end up in divorce.

Also, you might want to check your siphers on that.

[OUthunder]

Well, if you enforced it with the penalty of death you might be able to bump it up to 100% compliance.


I doubt it. Most Oklahomans aren't that smart.

[handcrafted]

Well, if you enforced it with the penalty of death you might be able to bump it up to 100% compliance.

Now yer talkin'!!

:D

[Mjcpr]

I doubt it. Most Oklahomans aren't that smart.

I can't understand how you manage to rub so many people the wrong way.

[Mjcpr]

Now yer talkin'!!

:D
Heh.

:D

[handcrafted]

How are other states any different?

There are a lot of states that now have "no-fault" divorce laws. Essentially, if the couple want to split, they just live apart for 6 months, then they divvy up their property. If there's kids involved they still have to go through the custody hearings, though.

So far, in Oklahoma, you still have to have legal grounds for divorce, and prove it in court.

[yermom]

isn't OK like 2nd or 3rd from the bottom for divorce rates though?

[IB4OU2]

I saw my wife for the first time when we were in highschool at a HUGE river party a friend and I were throwing. Saw her from a distance and never spoke with her. Never met her. And I knew then she would be the one, though I don't know that I knew at the time. Ya know? I just remember there being a feeling of recognition that something would happen some time.

Never saw her again (we weren't actually at the same school at the same time) until seven years later when we met at the OU pool. We started talking about mutual friends, and here we are 24 years later...

So you were one of those South Canadian partiers too?............:)

[handcrafted]

isn't OK like 2nd or 3rd from the bottom for divorce rates though?

Apparently Oklahoma has not provided marriage and divorce statistics to national organizations in several years, so there's no way to tell where we're ranked.

[Mjcpr]

Apparently Oklahoma has not provided marriage and divorce statistics to national organizations in several years, so there's no way to tell where we're ranked.

Just between 76% and 74%.

[mdklatt]

So far, in Oklahoma, you still have to have legal grounds for divorce, and prove it in court.

And yet Oklahoma has one of the highest divorce rates, so what does it matter?

Mary Fallin has started throwing around the "I'll stand for Oklahoma Family Values" platitudes as we head into campaign season. What a pantload. For all the lip service "family values" gets around here, we're one of the worse states when it comes to family values. Oklahoma is at or near the top in divorce, domestic abuse, childhood poverty and homelessness, teenage pregnancy, alcohol/substance abuse, illiteracy, syphilis(!), etc, etc, etc. Wouldn't it be nice to have politicians that tried to address the root problem--we ain't got no money--rather than throwing out sound bites?

[Tear Down This Wall]

I'm married and seriously involved with the same person. I don't know what moment it was that we decided to marry. I just know that after my little discussion with the Fort Worth Diocese, the whole relationship almost ended. That forced she and I into a go to Jesus meeting about Catholicism versus Christianity. Jesus, yes; Vatican, no.

The first marriage was much easier because I was a heathen in my twenties. She was a ballerina with a very tight body who swallowed with vigor. I was sold.

[handcrafted]

And yet Oklahoma has one of the highest divorce rates, so what does it matter?

Mary Fallin has started throwing around the "I'll stand for Oklahoma Family Values" platitudes as we head into campaign season. What a pantload. For all the lip service "family values" gets around here, we're one of the worse states when it comes to family values. Oklahoma is at or near the top in divorce, domestic abuse, childhood poverty and homelessness, teenage pregnancy, alcohol/substance abuse, illiteracy, syphilis(!), etc, etc, etc. Wouldn't it be nice to have politicians that tried to address the root problem--we ain't got no money--rather than throwing out sound bites?

1. "Throw money at it" is never the answer. The problem is not money or lack of it. The problem is people.

2. The law should still reflect the right way to do things, even if the people don't follow it.

[blueyedsooner]

Hey girl, where have you been? Did you use any of the music I offered in the wedding?


Yes we did. Thanks. We used it at the reception. Rhino was my music pimp and got it all on cd for us. It was beautiful!!

[mdklatt]

1. "Throw money at it" is never the answer. The problem is not money or lack of it. The problem is people.


So Oklahomans just suck more than everybody else? You don't think a lot of the problems in this state would go away if the economy was better? You're less likely to get drunk and beat the hell out of your wife and kids if you're not broke.



2. The law should still reflect the right way to do things, even if the people don't follow it.

Instead of arguing about **** like gay marriage and evolution disclaimers in textbooks it would be nice if the damn state government could get it's act together and do things like fix the damn roads.

[BeetDigger]

I thought this thread was about getting together, not getting divorced. Too much discussion in here about divorce laws and such. That's bad karma.

[C&CDean]

Yes we did. Thanks. We used it at the reception. Rhino was my music pimp and got it all on cd for us. It was beautiful!!

Cool. Glad you had a nice wedding/reception. Now let me know when you're getting the divorce and I'll give you some killer tunes for that. ;)

[SoonerInKCMO]

She was a ballerina with a very tight body who swallowed with vigor. I was sold.

You still got her number? :texan:

[C&CDean]

I doubt it. Most Oklahomans aren't that smart.

Oh. I guess if they move to, oh, say Minnesota then they'll automatically become smart. And some people wonder why most people don't like them......

[IronSooner]

I thought this thread was about getting together, not getting divorced. Too much discussion in here about divorce laws and such. That's bad karma.

Funny how even a thread about marriage seems to be ending in divorce.

[GDC]

I thought I knew what I wanted out of life until I got married. And then it was too late.

I think she means in a heterosexual context, so you and Lid are excluded.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Back on topic. . .

I'm secure in my own self that I'm not going to settle. That being said, I think I will have a good idea fairly quickly if he is someone I want to share my life with.

[IronSooner]

I always thought it would be wonderfully clear-cut until I met a girl I probably could spend my life with but maybe not. Kinda the gray in the middle of black and white. I'd still like to think there's some moment of clarity somewhere.

[TexasLidig8r]

So... for most it seems like it is an inherently instinctual thing vs.... how they responded to questions, life stories that sort of thing.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I always thought it would be wonderfully clear-cut until I met a girl I probably could spend my life with but maybe not. Kinda the gray in the middle of black and white. I'd still like to think there's some moment of clarity somewhere.I told you a long time ago we should just get hitched and cut all the drama of dating.

I know you have to turn on the TV first thing in the morning. You know what I look like with no make up and that sometimes I snore. You know I can't drive for crap and can't read a map and I know you get lost in big cities on purpose. I know you like pineapples on your pizza and that you have to drink out of a straw. You know the only thing high maintenance about me is my mandatory appointments for hair, nails and waxes.

Plus we both do the toilet paper over the spindle.

[TopDaugIn2000]

I told you a long time ago we should just get hitched and cut all the drama of dating.

I know you have to turn on the TV first thing in the morning. You know what I look like with no make up and that sometimes I snore. You know I can't drive for crap and can't read a map and I know you get lost in big cities on purpose. I know you like pineapples on your pizza and that you have to drink out of a straw. You know the only thing high maintenance about me is my mandatory appointments for hair, nails and waxes.

Plus we both do the toilet paper over the spindle.

match made in heaven I tell ya

[BeetDigger]

So... for most it seems like it is an inherently instinctual thing vs.... how they responded to questions, life stories that sort of thing.


Is that how you and Herr got together?

:D

[IronSooner]

Plus we both do the toilet paper over the spindle.

That really has been the clencher from my side of things.

[mdklatt]

I told you a long time ago we should just get hitched and cut all the drama of dating.


Iron Born Sooner Bred

[IronSooner]

Iron Born Sooner Bred

Much nicer ring to it than "Brangelina".

[OUthunder]

I can't understand how you manage to rub so many people the wrong way.


It's a gift and if I rubbed you the wrong way I'm not sorry.:D

[OU Adonis]

That really has been the clencher from my side of things.

When Herr mentions clencher, it means something totally different.

(Sorry, I had to put in my own Herr Joke)

[OUthunder]

Oh. I guess if they move to, oh, say Minnesota then they'll automatically become smart. And some people wonder why most people don't like them......


I never wonder but thanks for the concern. Trust me, you're not the most popular guy either. People just take it from you because they have too.

BTW, the divore rate and education system in Oklahoma are proof enough. If I caused your thong to creep further up your crack then I apologize.

[Skysooner]

Back on topic. . .

I'm secure in my own self that I'm not going to settle. That being said, I think I will have a good idea fairly quickly if he is someone I want to share my life with.

Just be careful about first impressions. Obviously there are some deal killers, but if I had gone off of first impressions from my first date, I wouldn't have married my wife.

[crawfish]

Why would being married change that? Just because you're married doesn't force you to make it work. If it does, then that's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. That's why they make divorce.....sometimes it just doesn't work out and nobody should be forced to make it work out.

It doesn't help if there's little or nothing standing between the vow.

I can testify that there have been times - in the middle of financial, family and work-related stress - where I truly felt we would separate or divorce. However, due to respect for the commitment we stuck it out and found happiness, and in fact our relationship and love is much stronger for having endured those times. I'd guess few couples are more opposite than my wife and I - if we can make it, anybody can. :D

I'm not sure there's such a thing as a "perfect match" where two people find they agree on everything and never fight. There are always personality conflicts you have to work through. Sometimes, it is simply the commitment - to your spouse, to yourself, to your children, to your God - that gets you through the tough times.

[Mjcpr]

It doesn't help if there's little or nothing standing between the vow.

I can testify that there have been times - in the middle of financial, family and work-related stress - where I truly felt we would separate or divorce. However, due to respect for the commitment we stuck it out and found happiness, and in fact our relationship and love is much stronger for having endured those times. I'd guess few couples are more opposite than my wife and I - if we can make it, anybody can. :D

I'm not sure there's such a thing as a "perfect match" where two people find they agree on everything and never fight. There are always personality conflicts you have to work through. Sometimes, it is simply the commitment - to your spouse, to yourself, to your children, to your God - that gets you through the tough times.

You don't have to be married for their to be a commitment.

[crawfish]

You don't have to be married for their to be a commitment.

People don't usually refuse to get married because they've committed in some other way. They're usually avoiding that level of commitment. Not every time, but I would guess a vast majority of the time.

I haven't seen statistics, but I'd bet my left nut that the instance of non-marriage unions breaks up at a rate far greater than the divorce rate.

[C&CDean]

I never wonder but thanks for the concern. Trust me, you're not the most popular guy either. People just take it from you because they have too.

BTW, the divore rate and education system in Oklahoma are proof enough. If I caused your thong to creep further up your crack then I apologize.

Oh. So people in Oklahoma are stupid because there's a high divorce rate. And everybody who goes to school here is a moron. Cool.

And in the grand scheme of things, nobody takes anything from me "because they have to." Sorry amigo, but in a personality contest, my anal warts would beat you out.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Sorry amigo, but in a personality contest, my anal warts would beat you out.

YOU TOLD ME THOSE WERE 'LOVE BUMPS'!!!! :kelvin:

[GDC]

My coworker and I were just talking about dating and marriage, etc. He said that he knew his wife was "the one" on their first date.

How long did it take everyone else to find out?

I haven't met "the one" yet, or if I have, I don't know it. I can tell pretty quickly if I am interested in seeing someone again though.

For me it was usually about when she came on stage and her music started.

[Mjcpr]

YOU TOLD ME THOSE WERE 'LOVE BUMPS'!!!! :kelvin:

Just a little heat rash, hon, don't worry about it.

[Mjcpr]

I haven't seen statistics, but I'd bet my left nut that the instance of non-marriage unions breaks up at a rate far greater than the divorce rate.
Yeah, I'd imagine....I probably had 10 or 12 just in high school. :D

[OUthunder]

Oh. So people in Oklahoma are stupid because there's a high divorce rate. And everybody who goes to school here is a moron. Cool.

And in the grand scheme of things, nobody takes anything from me "because they have to." Sorry amigo, but in a personality contest, my anal warts would beat you out.


No doubt and we're both morons.

[C&CDean]

No doubt and we're both morons.

Oh no. You ain't dragging me down there with you. I'll settle for being an *******, but I ain't no moron.

[Oldnslo]

There are a lot of states that now have "no-fault" divorce laws. Essentially, if the couple want to split, they just live apart for 6 months, then they divvy up their property. If there's kids involved they still have to go through the custody hearings, though.

So far, in Oklahoma, you still have to have legal grounds for divorce, and prove it in court.
If the Petition states "incompatability", and one of the individuals testifies, "I (for whatever reason) do not wish to be married to Mr/s X because s/he is a/n (colorful adjective/bodypart/bit of flotsam), the court WILL find that the parties are incompatable.

GETTING a divorce is easy. Dividing up the former marital estate is where the fight is. There isn't a judge on Earth, or at least in Tulsa County, that will force two people to stay married.

BTW, there is such a crime in OK as spousal rape. I digress.

Have I mentioned how much I love my wife? And yet there have still been times when the Abyss was closer than I would have liked.

[TexasLidig8r]

Is that how you and Herr got together?

:D

BASTAGE! No Yankee Candle for you at the next lunch after all! :mad:

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Oh no. You ain't dragging me down there with you. I'll settle for being an *******, but I ain't no moron.

Heh.

[slickdawg]

It was pretty much a done deal very quickly for us, we waited to
get married until we were finished with school and both already working.

I think that you generally know if someone is the right one.

Unfortunately, some people's "sense" is way outta whack.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Stop talking about divorce in my marriage thread! Obviously, if you're getting a divorce, the other party wasn't "the one."

[Stoop Dawg]

I haven't seen statistics, but I'd bet my left nut that the instance of non-marriage unions breaks up at a rate far greater than the divorce rate.

I'm not sure how you get "far" greater than 75%!! But seriously, if two people want to make a formal committment in front of their friends and family, well, isn't that what marriage is? To some it has religious implications, but some of us heathens have borrowed the notion of marriage too.

I also don't think there's any doubt that religion has actually hurt the institution of marriage, especially in Oklahoma. That's not a condemnation of religion, just some of the people who practice it (incorrectly). Why do parents encourage kids to marry just because they had a child? Why compound one bad situation (having a child out of wedlock) with another (marrying the wrong person)? It's so the parents aren't embarrassed. I can't think of a WORSE reason to get married.

Evidently Thunder implied Oklahomans are stupid. Really, they're ignorant (don't get all offended, I'm not talk about YOU). There's a difference. Parents don't talk about sex, it's a sin, it's dirty, don't talk about it, don't do it. Kids are GOING to do it. Period. They don't know what they're doing, they get pregnant, they don't tell anyone they're pregnant, then they can't get an abortion, their only option (according to parents) is to get married. Blah, blah, blah. It's assinine. It's not that any one of these things is "wrong". It's okay to teach that sex outside of marriage is bad. It's okay to be anti-abortion. It's not okay to try to remedy a BAD situation and force your child into a WORSE situation just to save your own reputation.

Wow, how'd I get off on that soap box? Sorry.

As for the original question, I don't think there is "the one". I think there's "one of the ones". Looking back, I dated several women that I *could* have married. It has a lot to do with timing, maturity, etc. as well as the person. It's not about "settling", it's about saying "the time is right, the person is right, this is what I want".

[Melo]

So most of the married people on the board knew it very quickly and in the begining stages of the relationships.

So I ask all of you... did you really know it? Did you sit there and think 'You know... I'm going to marry her.' Did that cross your mind? Or are you saying that because its easy to think that, looking back?

And if you knew right away that the person was 'the one', did any doubts AT ALL cross your mind? Hesitation?

Inquiring minds need to know.

[crawfish]

So most of the married people on the board knew it very quickly and in the begining stages of the relationships.

So I ask all of you... did you really know it? Did you sit there and think 'You know... I'm going to marry her.' Did that cross your mind? Or are you saying that because its easy to think that, looking back?

And if you knew right away that the person was 'the one', did any doubts AT ALL cross your mind? Hesitation?

Inquiring minds need to know.

Hmmm...

I'm 94.3% sure that Melo is the next one.

[BeetDigger]

So most of the married people on the board knew it very quickly and in the begining stages of the relationships.

So I ask all of you... did you really know it? Did you sit there and think 'You know... I'm going to marry her.' Did that cross your mind? Or are you saying that because its easy to think that, looking back?

And if you knew right away that the person was 'the one', did any doubts AT ALL cross your mind? Hesitation?

Inquiring minds need to know.


The answer to all of your questions is: yes.

[Melo]

Hmmm...

I'm 94.3% sure that Melo is the next one.

Next one for what, exactly?

[Melo]

The answer to all of your questions is: yes.

Well, that's easy enough.

[Skysooner]

So most of the married people on the board knew it very quickly and in the begining stages of the relationships.

So I ask all of you... did you really know it? Did you sit there and think 'You know... I'm going to marry her.' Did that cross your mind? Or are you saying that because its easy to think that, looking back?

And if you knew right away that the person was 'the one', did any doubts AT ALL cross your mind? Hesitation?

Inquiring minds need to know.

After the 2nd date, I was almost there. It took about 4 more dates before I was "sure". We were unofficially engaged (officially engaged 3 months after this when I could afford a ring) and married a year after we met (after spending 7 months in a LD relationship when I graduated). There are always hesitations. I almost broke up with her a week before the marriage. This was mainly due to me being scared of marriage and not anything she did.

[mdklatt]

Or are you saying that because its easy to think that, looking back?


In my own experience--having never been married or engaged, mind you--this is the way it often works. It's not necessarily love at first sight (which is 99% lust at first sight, NTTAWWT), but it slowly creeps up on you and then *BAM* slaps you in the face.

Here's a rule of thumb: If you have to ask yourself if you're in love with somebody, you're not.

[crawfish]

I'm not sure how you get "far" greater than 75%!! But seriously, if two people want to make a formal committment in front of their friends and family, well, isn't that what marriage is? To some it has religious implications, but some of us heathens have borrowed the notion of marriage too.

I also don't think there's any doubt that religion has actually hurt the institution of marriage, especially in Oklahoma. That's not a condemnation of religion, just some of the people who practice it (incorrectly). Why do parents encourage kids to marry just because they had a child? Why compound one bad situation (having a child out of wedlock) with another (marrying the wrong person)? It's so the parents aren't embarrassed. I can't think of a WORSE reason to get married.

Whew...

First, the 75% rating is a bit high, isn't it? I think the actual % is around 50, and that includes all my wife's grandmother's five marriages. Still a bad number, though, but I'd bet the other is 75% at a minimum.

I think you're wrong about the second part. What's hurt marriage is the new values system - selfishness and materialism. Our culture tells us that we have a right to be happy and a right to leave any situation if we're not. It sends us unrealistic images of sex, relationships and happiness via the popular media. It sells us on the ability of products to give our lives meaning. Sadly, we seem to believe it.

Religion leads to higher divorce rates, to be sure - because the religious are getting married at a higher rate. I think it's more accurate to say that religion brings people together while our culture tears them apart.

[crawfish]

Next one for what, exactly?

The next "one".

;)

By the way, I hope you keep at least some of that sweet innocence. :D

[Beef]

I think you're wrong about the second part. What's hurt marriage is the new values system - selfishness and materialism. Our culture tells us that we have a right to be happy and a right to leave any situation if we're not. It sends us unrealistic images of sex, relationships and happiness via the popular media. It sells us on the ability of products to give our lives meaning. Sadly, we seem to believe it.

Religion leads to higher divorce rates, to be sure - because the religious are getting married at a higher rate. I think it's more accurate to say that religion brings people together while our culture tears them apart.
Sounds like a pain in the ***.I'll stick with prostitutes.

[Stoop Dawg]

Whew...

First, the 75% rating is a bit high, isn't it? I think the actual % is around 50, and that includes all my wife's grandmother's five marriages. Still a bad number, though, but I'd bet the other is 75% at a minimum.

You're probably right.


I think you're wrong about the second part. What's hurt marriage is the new values system - selfishness and materialism. Our culture tells us that we have a right to be happy and a right to leave any situation if we're not. It sends us unrealistic images of sex, relationships and happiness via the popular media. It sells us on the ability of products to give our lives meaning. Sadly, we seem to believe it.

You're probably right there too.


Religion leads to higher divorce rates, to be sure - because the religious are getting married at a higher rate.

Not sure I agree with that one. It appears that the religious get married at an earlier age - probably so they can start having sex - and that leads to a higher divorce rate. I'd buy that.

[Jimminy Crimson]

For me it was usually about when she came on stage and her music started.

If Pour Some Sugar On Me comes on, its a match made in heaven! :texan:

[Melo]

In my own experience--having never been married or engaged, mind you--this is the way it often works. It's not necessarily love at first sight (which is 99% lust at first sight, NTTAWWT), but it slowly creeps up on you and then *BAM* slaps you in the face.

Here's a rule of thumb: If you have to ask yourself if you're in love with somebody, you're not.

Its been a long time since I have even dated a guy. Years. I have had lots of time to sit back and observe guys, and women, and how they act together. I havent ever been in love, but I know well enough that when it happens, I'll be able to recognize it.

I guess what I am wanting to know... people on here said things like, they knew on their first date, or 4th or 5th. I've always been under the impression that the person who is 'the one' will also be your best friend, in many ways. So how is it possible to know someone is 'the one' for you if you dont really know them? Unless the people on here sharing their stories were friends with these other people, then dated them.

[Melo]

The next "one".

;)

By the way, I hope you keep at least some of that sweet innocence. :D

I am definitely confused... :confused:

[GDC]

Sounds like a pain in the ***.I'll stick with prostitutes.

Yup, you pay em to get the **** out.

[crawfish]

I am definitely confused... :confused:

I feel like such a dirty old man. :O

[TexasLidig8r]

Ok.. take the religious implications out of it.

If no children are involved, why is marriage looked upon as the ultimate emotional committment? Do we need society's approval to tell our significant other/main squeeze that we are committed to them? It is the fact that something tangible, (property, financial) is at risk if the relationship becomes insupportable?

Why marriage? At what point did our word, our expression of our emotions... our very essence, not become enough?

[1stTimeCaller]

I think when you find a man, or a woman in my case, that doesn't get all fired up when you mistakenly urinate on the floor you have found your soul mate. Then again, I could be wrong.

[Melo]

I feel like such a dirty old man. :O

Oh, I get it... :O

[mdklatt]

I'll know I've found The One when I'm able to spend all that money on an engagement ring for her.

[GDC]

Ok.. take the religious implications out of it.

If no children are involved, why is marriage looked upon as the ultimate emotional committment? Do we need society's approval to tell our significant other/main squeeze that we are committed to them? It is the fact that something tangible, (property, financial) is at risk if the relationship becomes insupportable?

Why marriage? At what point did our word, our expression of our emotions... our very essence, not become enough?

Poor Lid, you sound bitter, have they not legalized homo marriages in Tejas yet?

[mdklatt]

have they not legalized homo marriages in Tejas yet?

Sort of. Texas defines your sex as what's on your birth certificate, so the only way for transsexuals to get married is to get gay married. :mack:

[Oldnslo]

So most of the married people on the board knew it very quickly and in the begining stages of the relationships.

So I ask all of you... did you really know it? Did you sit there and think 'You know... I'm going to marry her.' Did that cross your mind? Or are you saying that because its easy to think that, looking back?

And if you knew right away that the person was 'the one', did any doubts AT ALL cross your mind? Hesitation?

Inquiring minds need to know.
It wasn't the first time I saw her. Not love at first sight. It was love on first date.

Yes, I really knew I was going to marry her. It wasn't a feeling of, "Wow, she's what I've been looking for." Instead it was, "HFS! I'm talking to my wife." It was wonderful, in an incredibly frightening way. As I said, the feeling was electric. I couldn't move my hand, although I felt shocked. Then, a split second later, I didn't want to move my hand.

Of course, along the way there were doubts. And our marriage hasn't been all Yahtzee and Mimosas on the veranda. Into each life, a little rain must fall. But we've gotten through some tough stuff, much of which we caused ourselves.

And we both know that we both have to work at keeping the relationship alive and kickin'. It can't be just raisin' kids and economics. I mean, it can, but that suxxors. Personally, I've always kept in mind Thoreau's saying, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation" and vowed for my marriage not to live up to that damnable standard.

So, anyway...

yes.

[LilSooner]

Geeze and I thought that marriage was just a tax write off. But hey what do I know by the time I was 21 my mom had been married and divorced 5 times and my biological father 2 twice.

So I have no real valuable imput in this thread other than my views on marriage are a bit skewed.

[Sooner_Bob]

My wife and I were good friends first...by the time we started dating, we pretty much knew.
same here . . .

My wife and I were best friends before we started dating and I always knew I wanted to marry her, but it took her a little bit to come around.

[Mjcpr]

same here . . .

Why didn't you get your own wife?

[BeetDigger]

Well, that's easy enough.


Ok, I will step into a serious mode here.

The answer more lies with maturity I think. Not that all people who get married are mature, but they are in a state that allows them to think and envision that thought. The folks who got married after a short time just knew what they didn't want and were able to quickly recognize what they did want. For some, it takes dating lots and lots of people. For others, it only takes dating a few people to know that.

For everyone who has responded that they have been married for a significant amount of time as just saying that they have not had any problems that are too big to work through. Every marriage has issues. But to stay married, you work through them. The more comitted you are, the bigger the issues that you can overcome.

Getting married is not hard. Staying married is the hard part. For some people, staying married is not that difficult. For others, it is. The two biggest issues in marriages are money and sex. And to remain happy, there must be enough of both to satisfy both people. For some, $40K in salary and two times a year are plenty. For others, it is $500K in salary and every night (and at lunch on occasion too). You need to spend and sleep to that level which satisfies both.

Ok, serious mode off.

[Sooner_Bob]

Why didn't you get your own wife?


I knew someone would think that the second I hit the submit button . . . :D

[IB4OU2]

My wife looked good in a crimson red sweater.......that's when I knew.

(after 29 years she still does)

[crawfish]

I knew someone would think that the second I hit the submit button . . . :D

I wondered who that guy was in the living room. :mad:

[1stTimeCaller]

My wife looked good in a crimson red sweater.......that's when I knew.

(after 29 years she still does)

I agree

[Czar Soonerov]

It was our third or forth date, I can't remember which. The the night of the Vixen concert I know that much. I was stumbling drunk and I leaned over the trash can to blow chunks. Seemingly from nowhere an angel's hands descended from heaven and genlty held my hair (it was long back in the day) as not to get puke in it. That was at the moment I knew she (VK) was "the one." I still get chocked up thinking about it.

sniff sniff :eddie:

[IB4OU2]

I agree

:mad:.....:D

[Melo]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.

[IB4OU2]

It was our third or forth date, I can't remember which. The the night of the Vixen concert I know that much. I was stumbling drunk and I leaned over the trash can to blow chunks. Seemingly from nowhere an angel's hands descended from heaven and genlty held my hair (it was long back in the day) as not to get puke in it. That was at the moment I knew she (VK) was "the one." I still get chocked up thinking about it.

sniff sniff :eddie:

You left out the part where she cleaned the corner of your mouth with a coffee filter.........;)

[OU Adonis]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.

I don't think there is a right time to find that one person. God I hope not, otherwise I have missed the boat.

[1stTimeCaller]

I was 26 when I tried the peeing on the carpet thing and found out that we were not meant for each other.

[BeetDigger]

I was 26 when I tried the peeing on the carpet thing and found out that we were not meant for each other.


My guess is that you would get the same result if you were 35.

[C&CDean]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.

It's always gonna be different for each person.

My first wife I met in high school. I left for 3 years (Army), came home, and we got married. I thought I was in love, and I suppose I was, but I never even liked the yainch. She was always a bitch. We had nothing in common. It took 10 years of marriage, 3 kids, and a whole lotta crying to figure it out.

Second wife was a tweener. Short period, no kids, no issues, just a quicky mistake.

I was single for several years when I met my current wife. I wasn't looking, and neither was she. We met, it clicked, and for the first time in my life, I understood why they wrote those sappy lyrics to love songs. I just wanted to be with her. She was my friend. Her cooking, cleaning, pampering, and good lovin' sure helped too.

That was 10 years ago. I'm 48 now. You do the math.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.Please don't tell me you think that at 19 you are an old maid. . .

[Sooner_Bob]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.


I was 17 when we first started dating and I knew she'd always be my best friend.

Patience is one of the best things to have in any relationship.

[Sooner_Bob]

I wondered who that guy was in the living room. :mad:


Sorry dude . . . I tried to hide. :D

[C&CDean]

It was our third or forth date, I can't remember which. The the night of the Vixen concert I know that much. I was stumbling drunk and I leaned over the trash can to blow chunks. Seemingly from nowhere an angel's hands descended from heaven and genlty held my hair (it was long back in the day) as not to get puke in it. That was at the moment I knew she (VK) was "the one." I still get chocked up thinking about it.

sniff sniff :eddie:

Ah, remember when...................you had enough hair to hold back.:mack:

[PhxSooner]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.
Met as sophomores in college, starting dating at the beginning of our senior year, engaged the next fall, married the fall after that. We've been married for 10 1/2 years and have two kids.

But I can also point to a friend who found her man at 27. She dated some great guys in college, didn't feel that they were "the one", and didn't let friends and family pressure her to get hitched before she was ready.

[bigdsooner]

i met my wife in highschool, we were both attached to eachother from the start. marriage never came up, til she got prenate about 1 1/2 years later, now i have 3 kids and 17+ years of marriage. sometimes she tries to kill me, so im not sure how much longer it will go ;)

[Jimminy Crimson]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.

If you don't find 'the one' in hs or college, it'll usually be in the early-mid thirties, just from observation.

[Melo]

Please don't tell me you think that at 19 you are an old maid. . .

Not at all. Like I said earlier... I have had lots of observing time. I've met my best friend... I'm just curious. This whole thread sparked some interesting questions for me.

*Edit* I also want to know everything before I make up my mind. I dont want to make a decision, and come to find out I was being young and stupid about it.

[BeetDigger]

Kinky sex is one of the best things to have in any relationship.


:eek:

[Viking Kitten]

It was our third or forth date, I can't remember which. The the night of the Vixen concert I know that much. I was stumbling drunk and I leaned over the trash can to blow chunks. Seemingly from nowhere an angel's hands descended from heaven and genlty held my hair (it was long back in the day) as not to get puke in it. That was at the moment I knew she (VK) was "the one." I still get chocked up thinking about it.

sniff sniff :eddie:

We were at a spelling bee. I knew I was far too competitive to ever be with a man who was a better speller than me, so when I took one look at Czar's lame-as$ spelling skills, I knew right then he was "the one."

Also, he has a huge ****.

[Oldnslo]

We met in the first semester of law school, but we didn't date until the second semester.

She turned me down the first time I asked her out. She said that she had to go help her family build a garage. I replied that she was very creative and that I hadn't heard that one before.

And now she acts as if her initials and a date in some concrete at her folks' house are proof of something. :rolleyes:

[yermom]

We were at a spelling bee. I knew I was far too competitive to ever be with a man who was a better speller than me, so when I took one look at Czar's lame-as$ spelling skills, I knew right then he was "the one."

Also, he has a huge ****.

if it doesn't work out, there's always :dolemite:

[SoonerInKCMO]

It was our third or forth date, I can't remember which. The the night of the Vixen concert I know that much. I was stumbling drunk and I leaned over the trash can to blow chunks. Seemingly from nowhere an angel's hands descended from heaven and genlty held my hair (it was long back in the day) as not to get puke in it. That was at the moment I knew she (VK) was "the one." I still get chocked up thinking about it.

sniff sniff :eddie:

Worked with a woman in Minnesota - same thing happened to her except she was the one puking and her now husband held her hair. That was the night they met - set up on a blind date by some mutual friends. Ten years later, they're still happily together. Got a house in the 'burbs, a little brat and everything.

I need to find someone's hair to hold this weekend.

[BeetDigger]

Also, he has a huge ****.


I should have also noted that complimenting your spouse in public also goes a long ways to having a successful marriage. Having a huge **** also helps. I should note that I have been married for 17 years.

[crawfish]

Next important question: How old were all of you when all of this happened? Were you in college or out. Not when you got married, but when you found the person you were going to be with.

I was 23, she was 20. We met in college.

But, no rush. ;)

[Howzit]

Having a huge **** also helps. I should note that I have been married for 17 years.

So, your saying it's not necessarily a deal breaker?

[BeetDigger]

So, your saying it's not necessarily a deal breaker?

She said the same thing my doctor said "Wow!"

[crawfish]

So, your saying it's not necessarily a deal breaker?

Haven't you been married for 23 years? :texan:

[colleyvillesooner]

She said the same thing my doctor said "WHERE?"
fixed

[Soonerbabeinbama]

It happened with a "bam"!! I thought he looked like Tom Sellick. We got married two weeks after we met. Needeless to say that after only two weeks, it was pretty much a lust thing in the beginning. It was cool to find out after we got married that we really did have some common interests - other than the lust thing.

[OKC Sooner]

Been married 28 years, and don't regret a single day of it.... that day was in April of 94, it was kinda peaceful as I recall. :P

[jrsooner]

How long did it take everyone else to find out?
1st Date - I knew it.
2nd Date - I bought the ring.
1 Month - she made me wait before I could give it to her.
8 Month - got married.
12 years of wonderful marriage so far. :)

[Skysooner]

24 when we met. 25 when we were married. She was 21 when we met. We were both in grad school at OU.

[TexasLidig8r]

We met in the first semester of law school, but we didn't date until the second semester.

She turned me down the first time I asked her out. She said that she had to go help her family build a garage. I replied that she was very creative and that I hadn't heard that one before.

And now she acts as if her initials and a date in some concrete at her folks' house are proof of something. :rolleyes:

Jebus.. you married a fellow mouthpiece????????? :eek:

[mdklatt]

Jebus.. you married a fellow mouthpiece????????? :eek:

That's what keeps them together--fear of getting screwed if they divorce. :D

[Ike]

On the first date, apparently she knew, but at the time, I was kinda still on autopilot, and was of course clueless.

A year later, I was still clueless, and not really knowing what I wanted, and we parted ways.

A year after that, I finally realized that what I really wanted was her. Lucky for me, she still knew that I was the one, and her experiences in the 'off year' had only served to solidify that belief.

8 months later, we were hitched.


I lucked out big time.

[VeeJay]

You may want to look outside Oklahoma for a suitable beau. According to what I read here, these boys tend to spend a lot in the bathroom and what not.

[BeetDigger]

You may want to look outside Oklahoma for a suitable beau. According to what I read here, these boys tend to spend a lot in the bathroom and what not.


If by what not you mean the affinity to bring gay comments into nearly every thread, then I agree.

[TopDaugIn2000]

Also, he has a huge ****.


nose?

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

SBSB,
Realizing if he's "the one" might sneak up on you but if you find yourself wanting to share misery, have fun and you get the tingles 'down there', you might have hit the jackpot.
What convinced me 39 yrs ago was that I wanted:
- to tell Cathy my deepest darkest secrets,
- go to a ball game with her and
- have sex 3 times in one night.Beautiful. :)

[VeeJay]

If by what not you mean the affinity to bring gay comments into nearly every thread, then I agree.

No - I was just tryin' to help a sista out.

[Al Gore]

Not true.

She also has to have 2 arms, and two legs. :cool:Do they have to work????

[Al Gore]

I am the "one" after 3 kids.......well...as long the money doesn't run out......

[Oldnslo]

Originally Posted by TexasLidig8r
Jebus.. you married a fellow mouthpiece?????????


Originally Posted by mdklatt
That's what keeps them together--fear of getting screwed if they divorce.
yup, Lid. I was looking for someone who was sweet, smart, and of great physical beauty. Unlike all the ugly stupid b!tches my friends seem to have ended up with. :mack:

And check into Travis v. Travis. As long as we don't practice together, I'm golden. GOLDEN!

First time I met Rex (Travis), I thanked him. He knew immediately what I meant and we've been friends since. :)

[BoogercountySooner]

I met Lisa at Cleve's Sinclair on the Corner of Main and Flood in Norman in the Summer of 78. She thought I was a Jerk, heck I'm still a Jerk! She reluctantly went out with me a few weeks later. Married a year later. We had to pick up pop bottles to buy beans to eat while I worked and she attended OU. Married 27 years this Summer and my heart still meltsl everytime I look into those Baby Blue Eyes!:)

[afs]

she thinks i'm the one, and has since she saw me. I'm not so convinced yet.

is this a problem?

[sanantoniosooner]

My 6 year old son was telling me about a mean girl at school.

I informed him that you go through life meeting one mean girl after another.....and when you meet the meanest one......you marry her.

[FaninAma]

And yet Oklahoma has one of the highest divorce rates, so what does it matter?

Mary Fallin has started throwing around the "I'll stand for Oklahoma Family Values" platitudes as we head into campaign season. What a pantload. For all the lip service "family values" gets around here, we're one of the worse states when it comes to family values. Oklahoma is at or near the top in divorce, domestic abuse, childhood poverty and homelessness, teenage pregnancy, alcohol/substance abuse, illiteracy, syphilis(!), etc, etc, etc. Wouldn't it be nice to have politicians that tried to address the root problem--we ain't got no money--rather than throwing out sound bites?

Wrong. You and OUThunder seem to be operating under antiquated data. Perhaps Marry Fallin's campaign hasn't been as useless as you would have us believe. (Refer to 2001 statistics)
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0923080.html

[Scott D]

What you really learned can be summed up in 2 words, dear: Jack and Squat.

You had no commitment with Achmed, so your shack-up will have told you absolutely zero about how you *would* react in a marriage. Marriage is funny that way. It's the most unique of human relationships and nothing prepares you for it. You're forced to *make* it work. Being able to dump your live-in on the proverbial sidewalk at any time doesn't do it.

I'm not trying to be hateful, just realistic. I suppose there is one thing you might have learned. If you learned that shacking up is a bad idea, then that's positive.

explain the high divorce rate in Oklahoma then :D

[BeetDigger]

explain the high divorce rate in Oklahoma then :D


Alcohol.

[afs]

3.2 beer

[IronSooner]

too many f'in hillbillies gettin' hitched

[OUAndy1807]

I'm sure this has been stated previously in the thread, but I'm too lazy to read:

There is no such thing as "the one". If you can find someone who can tolerate your annoying ***, you should hold on to them like grim death.

[pb4ou]

My 6 year old son was telling me about a mean girl at school.

I informed him that you go through life meeting one mean girl after another.....and when you meet the meanest one......you marry her.

heh

[GDC]

I can't keep up with what's been going on
I think my heart must just be slowing down
Among the human beings in their designer jeans
Am I the only one who hears the screams
And the strangled cries of ghey lawyers in love

God sends his spaceships to America, the beautiful
They land at six o'clock and there we are, the dutiful
Eating from TV trays, tuned into to Happy Days
Waiting for World War III while Jesus slaves
To the mating calls of ghey lawyers in love

Last night I watched the news from Washington, the capitol
The Russians escaped while we weren't watching them, like Russians do
Now we've got all this room, we've even got the moon
And I hear the U.S.S.R. will be open soon
As vacation land for ghey lawyers in love

:rolleyes:

[Vaevictis]

Wrong. You and OUThunder seem to be operating under antiquated data. Perhaps Marry Fallin's campaign hasn't been as useless as you would have us believe. (Refer to 2001 statistics)
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0923080.html

Those stats don't really tell you anything useful with respect to the divorce rate. It tells you the number of divorces per thousand people, but it doesn't give you any notion of how many marriages actually end in divorce -- which is something that the divorce rate is supposed to tell you.

The number of divorces per thousand people can be strongly influenced by non-marriage factors -- particularly, how many of those people can get divorced in the first place. Has the marriage rate per thousand gone down in Oklahoma -- if so, then the divorce rate per thousand would follow naturally. Was there a sudden birth rate explosion -- babies *can't* get married (unlikely, I know, but it illustrates the point.)

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr48/48_19_3.pdf

Okay, so it's not as recent as the 2001 numbers, but you can see that the number of divorces has essentially remained unchanged (staying within a range of about 19000-20000) in three years, but the number of new marriages has declined significantly (by about 10% per year). In 1999, 23304 marriage certificates were issued, and 19696 divorces granted. That's almost 85 divorces per 100 marriages in 1999.

(Even this data is somewhat suspect imo, because to really look at it, I think you need to track the years the divorcees got married -- ie, it may be that a large number of the divorces stem from a certain time period, and that the marriages from 1999 will have a much higher success rate)

The lesson here has nothing to do with divorce: As Twain said, "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics."

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

STOP TALKING ABOUT DIVORCE IN A THREAD THAT IS ABOUT HAPPY MARRIAGES!!!!!

[Vaevictis]

But... but... one half of happy marriages do not remain so! ;)

[GDC]

But... but... one half of happy marriages do not remain so! ;)

I'm batting a -100% so far, I'm probably skewing the curve by myself.:O

[TexasLidig8r]

If by what not you mean the affinity to bring gay comments into nearly every thread, then I agree.

It's kind of nice to see remarks like that directed at someone else every once in awhile. :D

[sanantoniosooner]

I've been married for almost 17 years and still haven't proposed.

It was so special that we just KNEW and starting talking about it like it was destiny.

Either that or she gassed me.

[FaninAma]

Those stats don't really tell you anything useful with respect to the divorce rate. It tells you the number of divorces per thousand people, but it doesn't give you any notion of how many marriages actually end in divorce -- which is something that the divorce rate is supposed to tell you.

The number of divorces per thousand people can be strongly influenced by non-marriage factors -- particularly, how many of those people can get divorced in the first place. Has the marriage rate per thousand gone down in Oklahoma -- if so, then the divorce rate per thousand would follow naturally. Was there a sudden birth rate explosion -- babies *can't* get married (unlikely, I know, but it illustrates the point.)

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr48/48_19_3.pdf

Okay, so it's not as recent as the 2001 numbers, but you can see that the number of divorces has essentially remained unchanged (staying within a range of about 19000-20000) in three years, but the number of new marriages has declined significantly (by about 10% per year). In 1999, 23304 marriage certificates were issued, and 19696 divorces granted. That's almost 85 divorces per 100 marriages in 1999.

(Even this data is somewhat suspect imo, because to really look at it, I think you need to track the years the divorcees got married -- ie, it may be that a large number of the divorces stem from a certain time period, and that the marriages from 1999 will have a much higher success rate)

The lesson here has nothing to do with divorce: As Twain said, "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics."

If the marriage rate went down by 10% then the only statisitical effect on divorce would be a decline of 10% each year or a decline of 7.2% to around 6% over 2 years. It would also seem that if the number of divorces was staying the same and the number of marriages was falling then the divorce rate would actually increase instead of falling. In fact the divorce rate in Oklahoma has fallen by about 52% over the time frame of the table I cited so there must be other factors at play other than simply a fall in the marriage rate.

Secondly, if you choose to believe the 2001 statistics are not accurate or representative of what's going on in Oklahoma recently then you have to be consistent and also not believe that the earlier, higher rates for divorce weren't accurate or representative of what was going on in Oklahoma during those periods.

And if you accept the premise that marriages after 1999 have a higher success rate then what accounts for the higher success rate?

My point is that individuals should remain consistent in their arguments. You can't assert that Oklahoma has a high divorce rate based on past statistics but then discount the statisitcs that show Oklahoma's current divorce rate is lower than the national average. That line of reasoning would tend to make me believe the individual has an agenda which I think MDklatt and OUThunder do.

[GDC]

It's kind of nice to see remarks like that directed at someone else every once in awhile. :D

Maybe it would help if you didn't start entire threads (http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63948&highlight=homosexuality) about it.

[sanantoniosooner]

Maybe it would help if you didn't start entire threads (http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63948&highlight=homosexuality) about it.
check and mate.

[TexasLidig8r]

check and mate.

Hardly.

If you had bothered to read the thread, you would see that the thread was intended to elicit and resulted in thought-provoking and intelligent comments by many posters on here. Accordingly, with that in mind, we can certainly understand why GDC did not understand the thread..

What's your excuse?

[Tear Down This Wall]

First, "Lawyers In Love" is a very underrated song. I'm happy that radio stations haven't killed it like they have with so many other classic tunes.

Second, I was 24 when I met my first wife, she was 21. We got engaged a little over a year and half later, then married six months after that. So, we had 25 months of courting.

Marriage #2, I was 34 when we met, she was 36. We were engaged six months later, and married six months after that. So, we only dated a year.

It doesn't really matter when you marry if everything clicks. My sister and her husband began dating in high school and have been married about 20 years now. My dad and mom were 22 and 19 when they met. They were married four freaking months later! And, now, 42 years later, they're still together.

It happens at any age. Patience and prayer, ya'll single ones. Patience and prayer.

[Vaevictis]

Secondly, if you choose to believe the 2001 statistics are not accurate or representative of what's going on in Oklahoma recently then you have to be consistent and also not believe that the earlier, higher rates for divorce weren't accurate or representative of what was going on in Oklahoma during those periods.

They're representative of *something*, but that something is not necessarily what you think it is (or maybe what I think you think it is?). They're representative of the fact that, all factors included, there were less divorces per 1000 people in Oklahoma in 2001 than in 1995 (and 1990).

They are not at ALL representative of the ratio of successful marriages to unsuccessful marriages, which is what you seem (to me) to be suggesting.

If I'm correct in my understanding of what you're trying to argue, look at it this way. One is a ratio of marriages that do not fail to marriages that do fail. The other is a ratio of marriages that fail to a number of people. They do not measure the same thing, and so one stat doesn't really have anything to do with the other.

(In an extreme example, consider the case where there is exactly one married couple in the state of Oklahoma, and that they get divorced. That's only one divorce per ... how many thousands of people live in Oklahoma? But it's also a 100% divorce rate. The two stats do not measure the same thing at all.)


My point is that individuals should remain consistent in their arguments.

My point is that your statistics don't measure what you seem to think they measure.


You can't assert that Oklahoma has a high divorce rate based on past statistics but then discount the statisitcs that show Oklahoma's current divorce rate is lower than the national average.

Well, I wasn't really asserting anything. I was just pointing out that I could manufacture a statistic for the other side rather trivially. You'll note that I debunked it also.

[FaninAma]

Vaevictis, my point is that either you use the statistics or you don't use them. You can't pick and choose which statistics or even which studies you want to buttress your point of view. If you want to discount the statistics from 2001 then fine but you should also then discount the statistics from earlier periods that show Oklahoma's divorce rate is higher.

[C&CDean]

Hey Steve, did you hear Shorty died?:(

[sanantoniosooner]

Hardly.

If you had bothered to read the thread, you would see that the thread was intended to elicit and resulted in thought-provoking and intelligent comments by many posters on here. Accordingly, with that in mind, we can certainly understand why GDC did not understand the thread..

What's your excuse?
I can call checkmate when I like.

If it involves pointing out that a horn posted something about homos, then it's checkmate.:D

All other subject matter is not of importance.;)

[BeetDigger]

Hey Steve, did you hear Shorty died?:(


Are you still referring to the horse?


:D

[Vaevictis]

Vaevictis, my point is that either you use the statistics or you don't use them. You can't pick and choose which statistics or even which studies you want to buttress your point of view.

That's fine, but if you're going to use statistics, you at least have to use statistics that apply to the question. The stats you trotted out are a ratio of divorces to thousands of people; the divorce rate that other people were talking about which is a ratio of marriages to divorces.

They have nothing to do with each other. It's like comparing length to time. It's nonsensical to do it. My "extreme" case example was a good illustration of the point.

You can have a situation where you have a tremendously low number of divorces per thousand and a tremendously high divorce ratio. Comparing them to each other gives you no useful information.