View Full Version : Things You Will Never Do
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 10:49 AM
The old adage of "never say never" doesn't apply to this list.
I will start with the obvious:
I will never smash my penis with a sledge hammer.
OUinFLA
3/16/2006, 10:51 AM
I'll never sleep with Claudia Schiffer.
dang it
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 10:55 AM
I will never sit in the dunk tank on the midway at the state fair.
SOONER44EVER
3/16/2006, 10:57 AM
I will never cut the tip of my finger off................again.
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 11:03 AM
I will never own a chain of adult bookstores named after my wife.
mdklatt
3/16/2006, 11:04 AM
I will never ask Dean to show me his taint scar.
VeeJay
3/16/2006, 11:05 AM
I'll never eat the pasta buffet at Ryan's Steakhouse.
sooneron
3/16/2006, 11:05 AM
I will never cheer for texas
mdklatt
3/16/2006, 11:06 AM
I'll never eat the pasta buffet at Ryan's Steakhouse.
5...4...3...
handcrafted
3/16/2006, 11:06 AM
I will never get the image of pregnant Heidi Klum out of my mind.
That's what I get for agreeing to watch Project Runway with my wife
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 11:10 AM
I will never get drunk, ride a bicycle to the lake, throw the bike in the lake, wrap chains around my body, put on swim fins, swim as hard as I can to the center of the lake, and drown.
oumartin
3/16/2006, 11:12 AM
get crabs again.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 11:14 AM
Pierce my tongue.
King Crimson
3/16/2006, 11:14 AM
order fish sausage soup at a japanese restaurant again.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 11:14 AM
Get pregnant.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 11:15 AM
Be a SUC fan.
mdklatt
3/16/2006, 11:16 AM
Get pregnant.
Never say never--vasectomies aren't foolproof.
OU4LIFE
3/16/2006, 11:17 AM
..jump out of a perfectly good aircraft.
OU4LIFE
3/16/2006, 11:18 AM
cheat on my wife.
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 11:19 AM
I will never add Brokeback Mountain to my DVD collection.
BeetDigger
3/16/2006, 11:19 AM
Be a Fear Factor contestant
Crimson_Balls
3/16/2006, 11:21 AM
spend over $3,000 for a hooker.
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 11:24 AM
I will never stalk Phyllis Diller.
oumartin
3/16/2006, 11:25 AM
kiss a smoker
mdklatt
3/16/2006, 11:29 AM
I will never watch The Village again.
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 11:29 AM
I will never tell my boss he's a great guy.
Cuz he's not.
He's a lying dick.
oumartin
3/16/2006, 11:30 AM
are you self employed? :D
Mrs. Norm
3/16/2006, 11:31 AM
Have good luck.
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 11:33 AM
are you self employed? :DOuch.
I will never market a salad dressing to compete with Newman's Own and give the proceeds to charity.
King Crimson
3/16/2006, 11:35 AM
I will never tell my boss he's a great guy.
Cuz he's not.
He's a lying dick.
i think i used to work for that guy.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 11:35 AM
Never say never--vasectomies aren't foolproof.Yeah, but complete hystorectomies(sp) are :P
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 11:36 AM
Pierce my sac
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 11:38 AM
I will never bitch slap Hulk Hogan.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 11:42 AM
Pimp my ride
skycat
3/16/2006, 11:56 AM
Two chicks at one time.
Stanley1
3/16/2006, 11:57 AM
I'll never "take one up the rear", so to speak.
mdklatt
3/16/2006, 12:00 PM
I'll never "take one up the rear", so to speak.
Famous last words.
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 12:03 PM
I will never shout revolution propoganda thru a megaphone in Chinese.
TexasLidig8r
3/16/2006, 12:16 PM
I'll never "take one up the rear", again so to speak.
Repaired.... :D
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 12:28 PM
I will neva dig up Howard Cosell's corpse, steal his toupee, and wax my neighbor's car with it.
imjebus
3/16/2006, 12:32 PM
I will never lie naked in my driveway with a jar of pickles and a bloody spoon..
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 12:34 PM
I will never shoplift turkeys in my underwear.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 12:38 PM
I will never vote Democrat
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 12:38 PM
I will never ask Michael Jackson to watch my kids.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 12:38 PM
I will never think that Richard Simmons is a sexy hunk of manhood
VeeJay
3/16/2006, 12:41 PM
I will never take another shot at George Clooney again.
Sooner in Tampa
3/16/2006, 12:43 PM
I will never take my family to Stoolwater for a family summer vacation.
Pieces Hit
3/16/2006, 12:43 PM
I will never buy a season pass to Precious Moments Chapel in Carthage, Mo.
imjebus
3/16/2006, 01:15 PM
I will never die....
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