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View Full Version : Time to load up on tuna and dried milk!



Okla-homey
3/13/2006, 11:16 AM
I guess we're 'sposed to live on Tuna shakes.


Ready or Not, Bird Flu Is Coming to America

Officials Advise Stocking Up on Provisions -- and Warn That Infected Birds Cannot Be Prevented From Flying In
By BRIAN ROSS

March 13, 2006 — - In a remarkable speech over the weekend, Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt recommended that Americans start storing canned tuna and powdered milk under their beds as the prospect of a deadly bird flu outbreak approaches the United States.

Ready or not, here it comes.

It is being spread much faster than first predicted from one wild flock of birds to another, an airborne delivery system that no government can stop.

"There's no way you can protect the United States by building a big cage around it and preventing wild birds from flying in and out," U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Michael Johanns said.

U.S. spy satellites are tracking the infected flocks, which started in Asia and are now heading north to Siberia and Alaska, where they will soon mingle with flocks from the North American flyways.

"What we're watching in real time is evolution," said Laurie Garrett, a senior fellow for global health at the Council on Foreign Relations. "And it's a biological process, and it is, by definition, unpredictable."

Industry Precautions

America's poultry farms could become ground zero as infected flocks fly over. The industry says it is prepared for quick action.

"All the birds involved in it would be destroyed, and the area would be isolated and quarantined," said Richard Lobb of the National Chicken Council. "It would very much [look] like a sort of military operation if it came to that."

Extraordinary precautions are already being taken at the huge chicken farms in Lancaster County, Pa., the site of the last great outbreak of a similar bird flu 20 years ago.

Other than the farmers, everyone there has to dress as if it were a visit to a hospital operating room.

"Back in 1983-1984, we had to kill 17 million birds at a cost of $60 million," said Dr. Sherrill Davison, a veterinary medicine expert at the University of Pennsylvania.

Can It Be Stopped?

Even on a model farm, ABC News saw a pond just outside the protected barns attracting wild geese.

It is the droppings of infected waterfowl that carry the virus.

The bird flu virus, to date, has rarely been transmitted to humans. There have been lots of dead birds on three continents, but so far, fewer than 100 reported human deaths. Compare that to more than 30,000 deaths each year in the United States from seasonal flu.

Should that change, the spread could be rapid.

ABC News has obtained a mathematical projection prepared by federal scientists based on an initial outbreak on an East Coast chicken farm. Within three months, with no vaccine, almost half of the country would have the flu.

That, of course, is a worst-case scenario -- but one that cannot be completely discounted.

The current bird flu strain has been around for at least 10 years and has taken surprising twists and turns -- not the least of which is that it's now showing up in cats in Europe, where officials are advising owners to bring their cats inside. It's advice that might soon have to be considered here.

Copyright © 2006 ABC News Internet Ventures

Oldnslo
3/13/2006, 11:24 AM
pfft. All we have to do is kill all the cats. Worked just fine in the middle ages.

mrowl
3/13/2006, 11:25 AM
how f'ing stupid. Yeah, go buy all the powdered milk you can find. That will keep you safe from the Flu. :rolleyes:

Czar Soonerov
3/13/2006, 11:31 AM
I'll keep right next to my duct tape and plastic sheeting...

OklahomaTuba
3/13/2006, 11:43 AM
But what if I hate tuna? Will I die????

Hatfield
3/13/2006, 11:47 AM
More importantly what good is your canned tuna going to do under your bed if you don't have a can opener?

i love how the article says to do something insane without providing any justification for it....what exactly is the safeguard of storing it under your bed???

Okla-homey
3/13/2006, 11:48 AM
i love how the article says to do something insane without providing any justification for it....what exactly is the safeguard of storing it under your bed???

I guess they figure the diseased birds won't find your tuna under your bed.

Nab'R
3/13/2006, 11:56 AM
What about the canned salmon? What if I like the pouches of tuna more? Albacore or regular? HELP!

Pieces Hit
3/13/2006, 11:58 AM
This whole flu thing has me really scared.
I hope it doesn't affect my Direct TV somehow.

Harry Beanbag
3/13/2006, 11:59 AM
Next we're all going to die from mercury poisoning from eating all the tuna.

Okla-homey
3/13/2006, 12:04 PM
Next we're all going to die from mercury poisoning from eating all the tuna.

And think about Flipper! Millions of bottlenose dolphins will drown in the evil tuna nets.

Hatfield
3/13/2006, 12:04 PM
actually harry eveyone is going to die of starvation since the call went out to store the canned tuna....yet they didn't say to also store a can opener.

OklahomaTuba
3/13/2006, 12:09 PM
Calm everyone, let us not fret, for Albert Gore will save us with his new fangled internet!

Harry Beanbag
3/13/2006, 12:10 PM
actually harry eveyone is going to die of starvation since the call went out to store the canned tuna....yet they didn't say to also store a can opener.


I have a couple of can openers already, so I'm good.

picasso
3/13/2006, 12:11 PM
is tuna melt applicable? I'm having some for lunch.

Okla-homey
3/13/2006, 12:16 PM
is tuna melt applicable? I'm having some for lunch.

Just make sure no diseased birds or cats lick it before you eat it.

Harry Beanbag
3/13/2006, 12:17 PM
Just make sure no diseased birds or cats lick or poop on it before you eat it.

fixed.

Okla-homey
3/13/2006, 12:18 PM
actually harry eveyone is going to die of starvation since the call went out to store the canned tuna....yet they didn't say to also store a can opener.

yeah, and what about the dried milk? W/out water, that stuff is pretty hard to swallow and it ain't worth a shiite on your Fruity Pebbles.

mrowl
3/13/2006, 12:21 PM
help!!! am I supposed to swallow the milk powder? or mix it with the tuna????

picasso
3/13/2006, 12:23 PM
I've got a drum of powdered water in the garage.

Okla-homey
3/13/2006, 12:25 PM
help!!! am I supposed to swallow the milk powder? or mix it with the tuna????

Dumass. You're only supposed to stockpile tuna packed in spring water. Then your drain the water into your dried milk powder. Sheesh, do we have to tell you everything?

mrowl
3/13/2006, 12:29 PM
Dumass. You're only supposed to stockpile tuna packed in spring water. Then your drain the water into your dried milk powder. Sheesh, do we have to tell you everything?

gosh, I feel stupid, do I do this before or after I duct tape the tuna to the windows???

Okla-homey
3/13/2006, 12:33 PM
gosh, I feel stupid, do I do this before or after I duct tape the tuna to the windows???

DO NOT duct tape the tuna to the windows as that is sure to attract diseased cats.