Hemmoroids

[1stTimeCaller]

Man, I think I may have one. The bung hole is really itchy. It was last night too. It's not a case of the mud butt. It might not be a hemmoriod but my anus is very itchy for some reason. Any ideas?

[sanantoniosooner]

Use some personal wipes.

It's make you feel like a new woman.

[nmsoonergirl]

YWIA

Pinworms
(Enterobius vermicularis, Oxyuris spp.)

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It is estimated that pinworms infect more than 400,000,000 people throughout the world (10% of humans), and in many areas of the world (e.g., North America and Europe) it is the most common nematode parasite of humans. On a world-wide basis, however, Ascaris lumbricoides ranks #1 infecting more than 1,000,000,000 people (25% of humans).
Adult pinworms live in the large intestines; males and females are about 5 mm and 10 mm long, respectively. After copulation the males die. When the female is ready to lay eggs she crawls out of the anus and deposits the eggs on the perianal skin; a single female can produce more than 10,000 eggs. After laying her eggs, the female also dies. At body temperature the eggs develop quickly and are infective (contain 3rd stage juvenile worms) in about six hours. When ingested by another person the eggs hatch in the small intestine, and the juvenile worms grow into adult, sexually mature worms in about a month (view diagram of the life cycle).

Pinworms infections can be asymptomatic or result in mild gastrointestinal upsets. A common symptom associated with pinworm infections is perianal itching. Scratching of the perianal skin to relieve the itching can lead to bacterial infections that result in more itching, etc. This cycle can result in a situation where the infected person becomes very uncomfortable. Children infected with pinworms often undergo behavioral changes, including restlessness, irritability, and insomnia. In women, the adult pinworms can enter the vagina and cause additional irritation.

Pinworms are highly contagious! The eggs are infective within a few hours of being laid, and they are deposited directly on the perianal skin. Bed linens, clothing, carpets, etc., can be contaminated with eggs. The infected person's hands will, invariable, be contaminated with eggs, providing a route for reinfection and egg dispersal (even into the classroom). It is for this reason that if one member of a family is infected for pinworms, the whole family is treated.

There is evidence that Dientamoeba fragilis, a "protozoan parasite" of humans, is transmitted among humans in the eggs of pinworms. Thus, pinworm and Dientamoeba infections may occur simultaneously.

Pinworm infections are detected by finding the eggs or worms on the perianal skin. If the perianal skin is examined using a flashlight the worms can be seen; they literally "glow" under the bright light. (Click here for an image of pinworms on the perianal skin. Warning, this is not a particularly pleasant image.) Because the female pinworms lay their eggs during the early morning hours, it is the child's parent who must examine the perianal skin for the worms. Understandably, finding pinworms on your child's perianal skin is not something a parent soon forgets. Eggs on the perianal skin can be detected by using a piece of cellophane ("Scotch") tape attached to a wooden applicator stick, sticky side out. The tape is then pressed against the perianal skin and later examined for eggs. This is best done as soon as a child awakens, so this responsibility also falls on the child's parents.

[1stTimeCaller]

I'm pretty sure it's not pinworms, I chew Copenhagen and usually ingest the juice. That's supposed to kill worms isn't it?

[sanantoniosooner]

and you're sure its not mud butt?

[sanantoniosooner]

cuz a roid is more than just itchy. It's like a grape that wont pass camping out at the exit sign.

[1stTimeCaller]

Yep. It was clean as a whistle when I got out of the shower last night and it started itching. I got out of bed, sat on the throne and checked for mud but. The TP was clean after the check. I even used wet TP to check.

[sanantoniosooner]

Yep. It was clean as a whistle when I got out of the shower last night and it started itching. I got out of bed, sat on the throne and checked for mud but. The TP was clean after the check. I even used wet TP to check.
I've found that some of the new shower gels give me the itchy rectum.

[colleyvillesooner]

(Click here for an image of pinworms on the perianal skin. Warning, this is not a particularly pleasant image.)

Uh, no thanks.

[IB4OU2]

Surely one of the Dallas folks could help you out. I bet they own flashlights.....:D

[Mjcpr]

I'da prolly checked WebMD before the SO. Just sayin'.........

[1stTimeCaller]

Surely one of the Dallas folks could help you out. I bet they own flashlights.....:D

Well, Howzit does like it when I call him Pops...

[OUDoc]

I'm not even sure where to begin with this thread.

I guess, I wouldn't necessarily assume itchy butt is a hemorrhoid. If there's no pain and no blood, it could just be a rash. Have you been wearing wet diapers recently? ;)
I'd watch it (not literally) and see how the symptoms go.

[1stTimeCaller]

I'da prolly checked WebMD before the SO. Just sayin'.........

Well, it's really for a friend anyways but I thought I'd just say that I had an itchy bobo:O

[colleyvillesooner]

Well, it's really for a friend anyways but I thought I'd just say that I had an itchy bobo:O

Yeah, ok. That would be worse, you asking for a friend about his butthole.

[colleyvillesooner]

Surely one of the Dallas folks could help you out. I bet they own flashlights.....:D

I think I speak for the crew when I say:

Yeah, that's not ****ing happening.

[1stTimeCaller]

OK guys. CVS has the problem but was too embarrassed to ask about it.

[OUDoc]

Isn't "Itchy Bobo" the Asian guy that plays the violin?

[BajaOklahoma]

I think I speak for the crew when I say:

Yeah, that's not ****ing happening.

I can safely say that in this instance, CVS is speaking for all of us.

[crawfish]

Didn't I say it was dangerous in that other thread?

LISTEN, PEOPLE!!!!

[walkoffsooner]

If your hand itches money is coming.If your butt itches money is going.Old indian saying

[sanantoniosooner]

If your hand itches money is coming.If your butt itches money is going.Old indian saying
Cuz you need to spend money on TP.

[12]

A friend of mine once missed OU/Texas weekend because he had hemmoroid surgery the Thursday before the game.

I can't even begin to imagine how uncomfortable that experience must have been.

He had tickets and everything!

[sanantoniosooner]

I can't even begin to imagine how uncomfortable that experience must have been.

63-14

[12]

Exactly. Right year and everything.

[sanantoniosooner]

Exactly. Right year and everything.
So he could truthfully say to hornfans....."I feel your pain"

[ChickSoonerFan]

I can't believe I read this whole thing.

I feel like I need to take a shower or something now.

[colleyvillesooner]

I can't believe I read this whole thing.

I feel like I need to take a shower or something now.

Psst. MIght just wanna geta flashlight and head to Stanley's. This was for him. :eek:

[OUDoc]

Wasn't there a thread about an itchy crotch somewhere? :eek:

[12]

I think it was an itchy thing in Norm's leg.

[opksooner]

On the whole, this thread has been a pain in the ***.

[sanantoniosooner]

This kind of reminds me.

I'm getting close to my first date with Dr. Jellyfinger.

Not.
Looking.
Forward.
to it.

[OUDoc]

This kind of reminds me.

I'm getting close to my first date with Dr. Jellyfinger.

Not.
Looking.
Forward.
to it.
Find a doc with small fingers. Better yet, a 4'11" female doc. :D

[sanantoniosooner]

Find a doc with small fingers. Better yet, a 4'11" female doc. :D
My current Doc is a chick that I have never seen. In 4 trips to the office, I've had an assistent every time.

I've wondered if I should check her out or just go cold turkey for the exam.

[achiro]

My current Doc is a chick that I have never seen. In 4 trips to the office, I've had an assistent every time.

I've wondered if I should check her out or just go cold turkey for the exam.

Just pray this isn't her baby picture
http://sydney.fuller.name/photos/2005/2005-01-23--Gloves.jpg

[Howzit]

This kind of reminds me.

I'm getting close to my first date with Dr. Jellyfinger.

Not.
Looking.
Forward.
to it.

Grinding into the Dr's palm is considered bad form.

[OUinFLA]

Once again a thread has come along to prove that we SO Hillbillys will post anything, anytime.

Oh, and you can also be assured that no matter how difficult the subject, we SO folk will read it.

[Harry Beanbag]

Confucious say...Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt wakes up with stinky fingers.

[1stTimeCaller]

Confucious say...Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt wakes up with stinky fingers.

but see, my fingers weren't stinky. That's how I first knew that it wasn't mud butt.:eddie:

[Howzit]

It's the clap, and DC is laughing all the way to eye-rack.

aka clap o' d'bobo

[picasso]

don't get clipped/cut. I had a doctor tell me back in college it's worse than giving birth.
I got a bad case back then when I started lifting heavier weights.
Your best home cure? Lube the finger, stick said roids back from whence they came. This procedure will have to be done on many an occasion.
You may even enjoy it, who knows?

[1stTimeCaller]

well, nothing is hanging out or peeking out or in the way back there. Must be pinworms although I don't know where I would have got those at.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

don't get clipped/cut. I had a doctor tell me back in college it's worse than giving birth.
I got a bad case back then when I started lifting heavier weights.
Your best home cure? Lube the finger, stick said roids back from whence they came. This procedure will have to be done on many an occasion.
You may even enjoy it, who knows?

Is this why you sit on the terlet for so long? :mack:

[picasso]

sounds like butt nuggets, or crackus bulbous.

[picasso]

Is this why you sit on the terlet for so long? :mack:
no, I do that to make a hefty deposit at the bank.

My account is paid in full for the month already.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

no, I do that to make a hefty deposit at the bank.

My account is paid in full for the month already.

The First National Bank of Poo?

[Howzit]

Be sure and ask the teller for your account log.

[picasso]

The First National Bank of Poo?
no, I bank at Howzitvest Bank of America.

[colleyvillesooner]

don't get clipped/cut. I had a doctor tell me back in college it's worse than giving birth.
I got a bad case back then when I started lifting heavier weights.
Your best home cure? Lube the finger, stick said roids back from whence they came. This procedure will have to be done on many an occasion.
You may even enjoy it, who knows?

Dude, you better hope that's not it.

That's called an anal fissure I believe. Never heard of it until a few days ago i read some of Kevin Smith's Daily diary (writer/director of Dogma, Clerks, Chasing Amy, etc) and found a story about it. It's really funny, but really vulgar language. Click at your own risk. The launguage is NSFW. Even if that's not it, it's still a funny story. Long, though.

http://silentbobspeaks.com/?m=20060101
and continued here
http://silentbobspeaks.com/?m=20060102

[picasso]

Dude, you better hope that's not it.

That's called an anal fissure I believe. Never heard of it until a few days ago i read some of Kevin Smith's Daily diary (writer/director of Dogma, Clerks, Chasing Amy, etc) and found a story about it. It's really funny, but really vulgar language. Click at your own risk. The launguage is NSFW. Even if that's not it, it's still a funny story. Long, though.

http://silentbobspeaks.com/?m=20060101
and continued here
http://silentbobspeaks.com/?m=20060102
you laugh, I cry.

[NormanPride]

New depths of depravity. That should be the SO's slogan.

[colleyvillesooner]

you laugh, I cry.

Oh, I would cry too...hard.

[Sooner_Bob]

I thought everyone scratched their butt . . .

[OUDoc]

1TC, how's your ***?

[1stTimeCaller]

it's still itchy but not as bad