Did you hear about the Buddhist

[Howzit]

...who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

[Fugue]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Stanley1]

<sigh>

[crawfish]

(trigger finger twitching)

[Mjcpr]

(trigger finger twitching)

I'd hold off on that if I were you.


:D

[BeetDigger]

...who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.


You anti-dentite.

[Howzit]

(trigger finger twitching)

I've got co-op backup mudbug!!!1

[12]

Good one, Shecky.

[mdklatt]

<sigh>

And you let this guy mentor you?

[Mjcpr]

Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been
friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles
whenever they passed each other.

A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What did they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never
heard of...an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"

[crawfish]

I've got co-op backup mudbug!!!1

You're like the guys aboard the Titanic who were convinced it couldn't sink...

[Howzit]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

[Fugue]

Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been
friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles
whenever they passed each other.

A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What did they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never
heard of...an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Mjcpr]

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much.

The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils

[Howzit]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

[soonerbrat]

...who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.



http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/reputation/reputation_highpos.gif

:D

[Mjcpr]

At one time, economic conditions caused the closing of several small
clothing mills in the English countryside. A man from West Germany bought
the buildings and converted them into dog kennels for the convenience of
German tourists who liked to have their pets with them while vacationing
in England. One summer evening, a local resident called to his wife to
come out of the house.

"Just listen!", he urged. "The Mills Are Alive With the Hounds
of Munich!"

[Howzit]

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

[Mjcpr]

That was my next one!!

[Howzit]

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

[12]

Wait, I thought one of the friars wiped with a rabbit.

Now THAT would be funny.

[TUSooner]

So, did I tell you about the time I went to the hardware store looking for that final addition to my work bench?

:rolleyes:


(That's when I told the helpful hardware guy I was looking for a vise and he recommended I start smoking. It was on another thread; I guess you had to be there)

[Mjcpr]

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

[Stanley1]

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?"

[mdklatt]

Carly Simon walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?"

..

[Pieces Hit]

Jethro done knocked Jed in the back of his haid with a 2x4 and done knocked out his eyeball. Ellie done found it under the truck and give it to Granny to stick back in his haid. Dash Riprock seen it happen and starred in a movie made about it.



"Return of the Jed Eye"




I got nothin.

[Crimson_Balls]

Q: If an astronaut drives a red "Saturn" and a bullfighter drives a black "Taurus", what does a proctologist drive?

A: a brown "Probe"

[proud gonzo]

...who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
Is he the same Buddhist from the other joke? the skinny one who never brushed his teeth and had a really weird diet and never wore any shoes?

you know, the super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. :rolleyes:

[Howzit]

Is he the same Buddhist from the other joke? the skinny one who never brushed his teeth and had a really weird diet and never wore any shoes?

you know, the super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. :rolleyes:

No, that was a Mohatma Gandhi. I have an email saying so...



Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

[NormanPride]

William Penn is well known as the founder of Pennsylvania. What people don't know is that he had some fairly business-savvy relatives. His Aunt Petunia and Aunt Mary owned a bakery in his town of residence and, being the smart cookies that they were, marketed their goods based off the fact they were related to the famous man. Unfortunately, the ladies got a little too ambitious with their prices, see, and the locals began to complain.

They were, of course, worried about the pie rates of Penn's Aunts.