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OUDoc
2/27/2006, 01:32 PM
Police had been investigating a report that a customer handed a clerk a severed penis to heat up in the store’s microwave.

Investigators have since learned that it was not a real body part; but instead, it was part of a couple’s alleged plan to pass a drug test.

According to McKeesport’s police chief, a man and a woman had inserted urine into a fake penis that the woman was planning to use to pass a drug test.

One of them then went into the store and asked the clerk to microwave the object, which they had wrapped in a paper towel, so the urine could reach body temperature.

When the clerk noticed an unusual odor, she unwrapped the item to discover what she thought was a severed body part.

“Hands down the most bizarre. I’ve never come across anything like this before,” said Chief Joe Pero.

Upon hearing media reports about the incident, the couple contacted police to explain the situation.

The couple could face charges of harassment, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

Giant Eagle, the company that owns Get-Go, says the microwave involved in the incident was immediately removed from service and will be discarded.

http://kdka.com/topstories/local_story_055114857.html
LoyalFan
2/27/2006, 01:41 PM
The microwave involved in the incident was immediately removed from service and will be discarded.

Yep, that figures! Find 'em, feel 'em, Effword 'em, and forget 'em.
It's always the same.

LF
crawfish
2/27/2006, 01:56 PM
"and then some".
TheHumanAlphabet
2/27/2006, 02:35 PM
Would they have figured out the gender of the person was incorrect from the hormone's in the urine...
BeetDigger
2/27/2006, 02:39 PM
Would they have figured out the gender of the person was incorrect from the hormone's in the urine...


It was only a fake penis. No mention of the gender of the donor.

I wonder if they removed the batteries to make room for the urine?
sooner_born_1960
2/27/2006, 03:02 PM
Since when is it illegal to warm up urine in a microwave?
Mjcpr
2/27/2006, 03:04 PM
Since when is it illegal to warm up urine in a microwave?

It changed after the terrorists won.
Harry Beanbag
2/27/2006, 03:09 PM
Onterrio Smith?
sooner_born_1960
2/27/2006, 03:11 PM
It changed after the terrorists won.
I'm disappointed the NSA didn't know about this before the fact.
TheHumanAlphabet
2/27/2006, 03:47 PM
It was only a fake penis. No mention of the gender of the donor.

I wonder if they removed the batteries to make room for the urine?

They were microwaving the urine so it could reach room temperature (I assume it was refrigerated or frozen). Hence, the microwave was taken out of service. Poor clerk probably thought he was nuking a burrito, not a phallus...
mdklatt
2/27/2006, 03:50 PM
I'm pretty sure there's a Big Moe's joke somewhere in all of this.
OUDoc
2/27/2006, 03:54 PM
I wonder if they removed the batteries to make room for the urine?
Of course. How do you do it?
Pieces Hit
2/27/2006, 03:56 PM
Ya know, a person would have to do a lot of chemicals to think of something like that.
mdklatt
2/27/2006, 04:13 PM
Would they have figured out the gender of the person was incorrect from the hormone's in the urine...


Sir, I don't know how to tell you this....your drug test came back negative but apparently you're pregnent.
Taxman71
2/27/2006, 06:22 PM
On a related note, someone gave us a used microwave for use at work. Smells like sauerkraut though.
Penguin
2/27/2006, 06:29 PM
So exactly how long do you have to nuke urine to get it to body temperature?

Thank you for the sample. Why is it boiling?
mdklatt
2/27/2006, 06:32 PM
So exactly how long do you have to nuke urine to get it to body temperature?



Urine cooking times may vary due to differences in microwave power.
Pricetag
2/27/2006, 06:42 PM
So exactly how long do you have to nuke urine to get it to body temperature?[/I]
I believe "3" on the QT microwaves will do the trick.
TUSooner
2/27/2006, 07:21 PM
... or are you just happy to see me?


I got nuthin.
Penguin
2/27/2006, 07:28 PM
microwave fake penis turned up 151,000 results on Google. Didn't know there was so much information out there.


I'm scared to look at the image results. :eek:
Al Gore
2/27/2006, 10:36 PM
microwave fake penis turned up 151,000 results on Google. Didn't know there was so much information out there.


I'm scared to look at the image results. :eek:Next they will be offering the "penis" button along with the "popcorn" button on microwaves...
picasso
2/27/2006, 10:50 PM
"and then some".
"is it Nick or Mr, ****?"
Crimson_Balls
2/28/2006, 02:15 AM
http://www.carnewz.com/rag/Images/Oscar1.jpg
Fish
2/28/2006, 12:28 PM
Originally Posted by picasso

"is it Nick or Mr, ****?"

heh
Penguin
2/28/2006, 02:05 PM
Originally Posted by Fish

Originally Posted by picasso

"is it Nick or Mr, ****?"

heh


Heh
picasso
2/28/2006, 02:09 PM
"perhaps checking him for hernia."
jkm, the stolen pifwafwi
2/28/2006, 02:26 PM
its got low miles and handles like a dream
so does debbie