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Mjcpr
2/24/2006, 12:59 PM
Army hunting 'Donkey Dong'

From: By Greg McLean
February 22, 2006

Australian military police are hunting for a well endowed serial flasher nicknamed "Donkey Dong" who is terrorising underwear salespeople.

The supposedly well-endowed flasher, who wears army uniform, has been labelled "Donkey Dong" by some city retailers.

Several clothing and sporting retail outlets in the Mitchell Centre have been targeted over the past six months by the unidentified pervert, who calls shop assistants into the change room to see if his tight underwear "fits".

MPs have obtained surveillance footage from several businesses to see if they can determine the identity of the culprit or rule out that he belongs to the military.

The most recent retail outlet to be targeted by the mysterious flasher received a visit on Valentine's Day.

"I thought it was one of my mates having a joke on me because we sometimes send each other fat-o-grams or something on Valentine's Day when he called me in to the changing room and I saw it," the shop assistant said.

"He has been in here four times and apparently he always tries on the same pair of red undies. I didn't really know what to say when he asked me if I thought they fitted him.

"It looks real and it's so big, it winds all the way down his leg and I wasn't sure what to do so I just went and got him a bigger pair.

"He got really nervous and was peeking out from the curtain.

"We call him Donkey Dong in here. He never buys anything and walks out saying that everything in the shop is too small for him."

Another favourite form of clothing for the serial flasher is bicycle pants, which reveal him in all his glory.

One retailer who outfitted the man with a pair of bicycle pants recently said he revealed himself to her. After getting a good look, she believes the serial flasher may be using a stocking to fake his credentials.

"It fell out of his pants and he said, `That's so embarrassing, it happens all the time'," she said.

A Department of Defence spokesman yesterday confirmed military police have spoken to retailers and are analysing surveillance footage to try to identify the man.

ChickSoonerFan
2/24/2006, 01:03 PM
So that is what you do for a living....I was way off base but I can see why you wanted to keep it a secret.

chriscappel
2/24/2006, 01:03 PM
wow! "winds down the leg" ? is that possible?

JohnnyMack
2/24/2006, 01:04 PM
http://www.littlefriendsranch.com/Lizzybabygirl2days1.jpg

fadada1
2/24/2006, 01:07 PM
if you watch the simpsons, you know why i put ned up here:

http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/4103/ned6zo.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

jkm, the stolen pifwafwi
2/24/2006, 01:14 PM
One retailer who outfitted the man with a pair of bicycle pants recently said he revealed himself to her. After getting a good look, she believes the serial flasher may be using a stocking to fake his credentials.

"It fell out of his pants and he said, `That's so embarrassing, it happens all the time'," she said.

self-pwning?

NormanPride
2/24/2006, 01:24 PM
I never knew you outfitted men's underwear, Mjcpr... That's... great.

Mjcpr
2/24/2006, 01:26 PM
self-pwning?

D'oh!! I really should read articles more thoroughly before claiming ownership of the deeds.

:D

Mjcpr
2/24/2006, 01:27 PM
wow! "winds down the leg" ? is that possible?
Oh, it's possible.

chriscappel
2/24/2006, 01:28 PM
well how far down we talkin here? thigh. kneecap, ankle??? :eek:

yermom
2/24/2006, 01:34 PM
if you watch the simpsons, you know why i put ned up here:

http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/4103/ned6zo.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

stupid Sexy Flanders

chriscappel
2/24/2006, 01:44 PM
feels like im wearing nothing at all!

TheHumanAlphabet
2/24/2006, 05:08 PM
Oh, it's possible.
Just ask Long Dong Silver...

crawfish
2/24/2006, 05:14 PM
So, you stuff your shorts?

I think we all suspected that.

jkm, the stolen pifwafwi
2/24/2006, 05:19 PM
So, you stuff your biker shorts?

I think we all suspected that, bikerfox.

:eek:

they really are on to you ;)

IB4OU2
2/24/2006, 05:22 PM
I've been noticing an unhealthy trend in MJ's postings recently-

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1214576#post1214576

Is he off his meds again?

C&CDean
2/24/2006, 06:34 PM
St. Martin. French side. Momma and me are laying on the beach. We see this skinny dude with a big sun hat strolling towards us reading a paperback. His hat brim hid his entire face. Anyhow, dude is buck-*** nekkid (as were several others on the clothing-optional French beaches). From a distance of about 75 yards my wife looks up and goes "honey, that poor guy has three legs."

I look up and notice that the middle leg ends just below dude's knees. He's strolling along towards us, stopping next to each group of people laying out for about 10 seconds or so. Behind him is strewn a wake of people with shocked expressions, some laughing hysterically, but most just shaking their heads in amazement.

The guy comes closer, and I go "honey, that's not a leg, that's the guy's pecker." She sits up and stares (by this time the guy is like 10 yards away - stopped letting another group of people admire his staff) and goes "holy ****, would you look at that thing!! It can't be real!!" in a very loud voice. I crack up and go "I'll ask him." So I go "dude, is your dick real?" He starts rattling of some jibberish in French, and slowly saunters past us.

My poor wife is like "how could that thing ever get hard?" "I feel so sorry for him, where would you put that thing in your pants?" "It's not real." So I tap the dude on the shoulder and he turns around. I go "look honey, it's real, but it would suck having to haul that thing around all day." She's just sitting there staring go "holy ****, it's real....."

No kidding, dude's ernie was at least 24" long. We're talking two feet. Pretty incredible stuff.

jkm, the stolen pifwafwi
2/24/2006, 08:37 PM
i'm actually surprised you didn't shoot it and mount it on your wall

BlondeSoonerGirl
2/24/2006, 08:39 PM
i'm actually surprised you didn't shoot it and mount it on your wall

That was me...:texan:

jkm, the stolen pifwafwi
2/24/2006, 10:49 PM
you mounted it on your wall? that's quite dextrous...

BlondeSoonerGirl
2/24/2006, 10:54 PM
you mounted it on your wall? that's quite dextrous...

Thanks for noticing.

Smarty-pants.

mdklatt
2/24/2006, 11:28 PM
Army hunting 'Donkey Dong'

Australian military police are hunting for a well endowed serial flasher nicknamed "Donkey Dong" who is terrorising underwear salespeople.



Doesn't the Australian military have better things to do?

TheHumanAlphabet
2/25/2006, 07:58 AM
St. Martin. French side. Momma and me are laying on the beach. We see this skinny dude with a big sun hat strolling towards us reading a paperback. His hat brim hid his entire face. Anyhow, dude is buck-*** nekkid (as were several others on the clothing-optional French beaches). From a distance of about 75 yards my wife looks up and goes "honey, that poor guy has three legs."

I look up and notice that the middle leg ends just below dude's knees. He's strolling along towards us, stopping next to each group of people laying out for about 10 seconds or so. Behind him is strewn a wake of people with shocked expressions, some laughing hysterically, but most just shaking their heads in amazement.

The guy comes closer, and I go "honey, that's not a leg, that's the guy's pecker." She sits up and stares (by this time the guy is like 10 yards away - stopped letting another group of people admire his staff) and goes "holy ****, would you look at that thing!! It can't be real!!" in a very loud voice. I crack up and go "I'll ask him." So I go "dude, is your dick real?" He starts rattling of some jibberish in French, and slowly saunters past us.

My poor wife is like "how could that thing ever get hard?" "I feel so sorry for him, where would you put that thing in your pants?" "It's not real." So I tap the dude on the shoulder and he turns around. I go "look honey, it's real, but it would suck having to haul that thing around all day." She's just sitting there staring go "holy ****, it's real....."

No kidding, dude's ernie was at least 24" long. We're talking two feet. Pretty incredible stuff.

I didn't know Long Dong Silver could speak French...

FaninAma
2/27/2006, 02:08 PM
Dean, dude, you need to let the envy go!