Little help here

[1stTimeCaller]

My two week/resignation letter.


I am writing to give a two week notice of my resignation. I appreciate the opportunity that you and Company X have given me but I don’t see a career for me here at Company X.

I'm not very eloquent and usually too short and sweet to the point of what I'm writing. Anyone have any ideas?

[Hot Rod]

http://www.i-resign.com/uk/letters/

[Fugue]

My two week/resignation letter.



I'm not very eloquent and usually too short and sweet to the point of what I'm writing. Anyone have any ideas?

I would drop the "I don't see..." line. Make it all positive.

more a5skissing, less truth. keep the bridge flame free.

[Mjcpr]

I would drop the "I don't see..." line. Make it all positive.

I second this.

[Fugue]

I second this.

thanks

[OUinFLA]

How about :

You Suck,
I Quit


or, if you dont want to offend, drop the first line

[1stTimeCaller]

OK here goes.

Thanks for the opportunity to give you guys an upperdecker. I quit.

1TC

[OUinFLA]

I cant believe we have progressed from your pursuit of a sex life to the pursuit of a livelyhood in less than 48 hours.

[1stTimeCaller]

Or howabout,

I'm leaving because you are cheap bastages. You tricked me by not providing health insurance for the first 90 days when being insured immediatly was discussed and agreed upon during negotiations. Then to top it off you didn't pay me $43.65 in mileage to do Dave a favor to go babysit his job.

I hope you saved enough in those two smoove moves to pay for my relocation and the recruiter's fee.

I also got a ninja sweet job with a numbaone company.

GADOCADWI

1TC

[Mjcpr]

I hope you saved enough in those two smoove moves to pay for my relocation and the recruiter's fee.

Were you not required to stay for a certain period of time or be liable for these fees?

Not sure if they can do that or not.....just wondering.

[JohnnyMack]

Dear Company,

**** you mother****ers.

Out.

Hugs and Kisses,

Dean's Bitch.

[1stTimeCaller]

no. I never signed anything that said that. The recruiter has to place another guy in my place being as I wasn't here 6 months.

[OUinFLA]

so................. you're really sticking it to the recruiter too?
Hope he's a longwhorn.

[TexasLidig8r]

Or howabout,

I'm leaving because you are cheap bastages. You tricked me by not providing health insurance for the first 90 days when being insured immediatly was discussed and agreed upon during negotiations. Then to top it off you didn't pay me $43.65 in mileage to do Dave a favor to go babysit his job. ... and I am so gonna lay some serious wood to hot Deb the Copy Lady and NOT tell you how great she was.

I hope you saved enough in those two smoove moves to pay for my relocation and the recruiter's fee.

I also got a ninja sweet job with a numbaone company.

GADOCADWI

1TC

fixed.

[OUinFLA]

That'd be ok Lid except for the "serious" word.

[Okieflyer]

I would drop the "I don't see..." line. Make it all positive.

more a5skissing, less truth. keep the bridge flame free.

Yes this is true. Never burn a bridge you don't have to.

[usmc-sooner]

I quit, in two weeks.

[RacerX]

nevermind.

My letters have always been reall straightforward. Tell when it's effective and that you've appreciated the opportunites they've given.

The end.

[RacerX]

Or howabout,

I'm leaving because you are cheap bastages. You tricked me by not providing health insurance for the first 90 days when being insured immediatly was discussed and agreed upon during negotiations. Then to top it off you didn't pay me $43.65 in mileage to do Dave a favor to go babysit his job.

I hope you saved enough in those two smoove moves to pay for my relocation and the recruiter's fee.

I also got a ninja sweet job with a numbaone company.

GADOCADWI

1TC

In crayon on the back of either a beer coaster or bar napkin.

[1stTimeCaller]

so................. you're really sticking it to the recruiter too?
Hope he's a longwhorn.

no the same guy placed me at this new place. I could have done it without him but I didn't want to screw him out of his comission. Even if he loses his comission for here, which he won't, his comission is greater for the place I'm going.

I do my best to not screw people when it comes to their paychecks.

[SoonerBK]

Are you quitting b/c of the no dating coworkers rule, and this is part of your plan to ask out the copy girl?

[1stTimeCaller]

I cant believe we have progressed from your pursuit of a sex life to the pursuit of a livelyhood in less than 48 hours.

No joke. the recruiter called me Monday night, I had the intrview on Tuesday and Wednesday night the recruiter called to let me know that the deal was done. As soon as I get the offer in my hands the notice is going on the boss' desk. The only problem I have right now is that my boss, the VP and the owner are gone for the day now.

And well, Deb doesn't come back until tomorrow.:(

[JohnnyMack]

No joke. the recruiter called me Monday night, I had the intrview on Tuesday and Wednesday night the recruiter called to let me know that the deal was done.

So are they gonna let you put "Sandwich Artist" on your apron like you requested? I know that was a sticking point in negotiations for you for a while.

[OklahomaTrombone]

**** you, **** you, **** you, you're cool...I'm OUT!


1tc

[1stTimeCaller]

So are they gonna let you put "Sandwich Artist" on your apron like you requested? I know that was a sticking point in negotiations for you for a while.

after a trial period:(

[SoonerWood]

Do it in person and just say, "I break with thee... I break with thee.. I break with thee.. "

and then throw dog-poop on their shoes

[JohnnyMack]

after a trial period:(

Trying to tell the difference between the ranch and the creamy italian can be difficult. And don't even get me started on being able to tell all the breads apart. Good luck to you.

[1stTimeCaller]

DeSoto, TX all you base are belong to me. In two weeks.

[TexasLidig8r]

Dear Mr. Smith,

I appreciate the opportunity your company provided to further my career.

However, after considered reflection, I have decided to pursue employment opportunities elsewhere. Accordingly, my last day of employment with your company will be Friday, March 10, 2006.

Please advise the manner in which I may assist with the transition of my projects to other employees and the date and time of my exit interview.

With best regards,

The Urinator

translation...

Dr. Mr. Smith,

Yo Mama... I appreciate being able to financially drain your company without providing a commiserate amount of work.

I'll be leaving your arse no later than March 10, 2006, you can't stop me and I'm going to bang the hot copy chick I know you've been lusting over. (copies of this correspondence sent to Mrs. Smith).

Let me know how I can poison the few remaining employees of this hellhole such that your company is doomed to fail and I can't wait to tell you what I think of you on my last day at work. By the way... I had sex with your wife on your desk after the company Christmas party.

In yo face.

Urinator.. that's MR. Urinator to you!

[1stTimeCaller]

so do I go with the William Tecumseh Sherman version or the Colin Powell version?

[TopDaugIn2000]

I have a pretty good one if you want. Seriously. PM me if you want a copy

[1stTimeCaller]

I'm going with


Dear Boss Man:

I hereby give you two weeks notice of my intention to leave my position as Estimator.

I have accepted another position elsewhere. This was not an easy decision and took a lot of consideration. However, I am confident that my new role will help me to move towards some of the goals I have for my career.

I wish both you and COmpany X every good fortune and I would like to thank you for having me as a part of your team.

Sincerely,
1TC

[OU4LIFE]

how about: March 9, 2006

Hi, just a note to let you know that I won't be in tomorrow, or any day after that.

buh-bye

[Mjcpr]

I'm going with

Dear Boss Man:

I hereby give you two weeks notice of my intention to leave my position as Estimator.

I have accepted another position elsewhere. This was not an easy decision and took a lot of consideration. However, I am confident that my new role will help me to move towards some of the goals I have for my career.

I wish both you and COmpany X every good fortune and I would like to thank you for having me as a part of your team.

Sincerely,
1TC
Are you sure you are hereby giving notice or are you just saying that?

[JohnnyMack]

Dear Fu*k-faces,

If your collective heads weren't lodged up your collective asses you guys would be able to watch me schlong the copy girl on the security camera tapes. As it is, I left you an upper decker and tossed my salad all over your keyboard. Enjoy.

Late.

[1stTimeCaller]

Are you sure you are hereby giving notice or are you just saying that?


I just copied and pasted from the link earlier in the thread. It's not an English test. But I hereby notify you that I shall change it.

[OUinFLA]

make it herebi and they probably wont regret you leaving.

[mdklatt]

after a trial period:(

Make sure you don't put any vegetables on Stanley1's sandwich. He hates that.


[insert 1TC/Stanley/"footlong" joke here]

[mdklatt]

DeSoto, TX all you base are belong to me. In two weeks.

My fam lives down that way.

Stay away from my sister.

[OUinFLA]

tell her to get a job as a copy girl, she'll be perfectly safe.
first 1TC will ask advice here on SO, then before he can act on it, she will get married, have two kids, move to Florida and retire.

[Oldnslo]

Two versions for you:

1. **** you. Strong letter to follow.

2. Two weeks from now, I will have been gone for two weeks.