If still undecided on your choice of religion... [Archive]

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Okla-homey

2/9/2006, 09:02 AM

sanantoniosooner

2/9/2006, 09:04 AM

I'm a good christian.

My wife uses those on me.

2/9/2006, 09:15 AM

He's just trying to shave his back.

OUDoc

2/9/2006, 09:18 AM

Pfft. That's how I shave my face. Bucha pansies. Gotta use 5 blades though. It's better.

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 09:21 AM

If they were really whipping themselves to make their flesh submit -
they would do it in private.
By beating themselves in public it only adds to their pride.

"Look at me! I am the bloodiest of all! I am so humble!"

BS

It's kind of like fashion wars or who can do the most "works" that erupt in some churches.

White House Boy

2/9/2006, 09:22 AM

You might want to pass on Shiite Islam if you're squeamish on self-flagellation with knives attached to flailing devices.

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/6320/r21853235513vl.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

What a bunch of MO-rons.

Jesus was pierced for our transgressions, so that we wouldn't have to be.

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 09:24 AM

I wouldn't mind humbling a few of 'em.

picasso

2/9/2006, 09:33 AM

What a bunch of MO-rons.

Jesus was pierced for our transgressions, so that we wouldn't have to be.

http://sangres.com/history/penitente01.htm

some Christians do the same.

White House Boy

2/9/2006, 09:35 AM

http://sangres.com/history/penitente01.htm

some Christians do the same.

Not me, man. Not me. ;)

VeeJay

2/9/2006, 09:35 AM

Google images for "Shiite Muslims" and you get some bloody disgusting images. They take a day off for this? And to think there are people here who want to "understand" why Islam hates us, and hold out hope they'll be peaceful one day. If they treat their own bodies this way (hacking themselves in the head with machetes, because they're not worthy), then what do they do to infidels? Hey...whatever....

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 09:39 AM

I'm feeling especially militant and fundamentalist today.
I may be in danger of hurting myself or others if not restrained.
So many sharp objects in my office.

chriscappel

2/9/2006, 09:40 AM

no thankds!!!!!!!!!!!!

OUDoc

2/9/2006, 09:56 AM

I'm feeling especially militant and fundamentalist today.
I may be in danger of hurting myself or others if not restrained.
So many sharp objects in my office.
Paper clip war!

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 09:58 AM

And I am enraged by all cartoons in general.

OUDoc

2/9/2006, 10:00 AM

And I am enraged by all cartoons in general.
You should probably burn something then.

Octavian

2/9/2006, 10:01 AM

your own house perhaps?

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 10:03 AM

Scooby Doo is possessed by demons.

Octavian

2/9/2006, 10:11 AM

They tried to ban filming of it:

In Baghdad's Shiite Khadmiye neighborhood, journalists were banned Thursday from videotaping the ritual mourning procession.

A CNN camera crew was told the ban was ordered out of fear that the news media would use the ritual to distort the image of Islam.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/09/ashura.wrap/index.html

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 10:14 AM

"A CNN camera crew was told the ban was ordered out of fear that the news media would use the ritual to distort the image of Islam."

The beheadings were enough for me but I'm closed-minded like that.

Octavian

2/9/2006, 10:17 AM

heh...yeah, because, it'd be a shame if Islam's image became tainted all of the sudden...

Tear Down This Wall

2/9/2006, 11:31 AM

This happened in the Bible with the prophets of Baal when God used Elijah to prove them wrong on Mount Carmel:

I Kings 18:22-40:

22 Then Elijah said to them, "I am the only one of the LORD's prophets left, but Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets. 23 Get two bulls for us. Let them choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. 24 Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire—he is God."
Then all the people said, "What you say is good."

25 Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, "Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire." 26 So they took the bull given them and prepared it.
Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. "O Baal, answer us!" they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.

27 At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." 28 So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed. 29 Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.

30 Then Elijah said to all the people, "Come here to me." They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the LORD, which was in ruins. 31 Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the LORD had come, saying, "Your name shall be Israel." 32 With the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD, and he dug a trench around it large enough to hold two seahs of seed. 33 He arranged the wood, cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them, "Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood."

34 "Do it again," he said, and they did it again.
"Do it a third time," he ordered, and they did it the third time. 35 The water ran down around the altar and even filled the trench.

36 At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. 37 Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again."

38 Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.

39 When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!"

40 Then Elijah commanded them, "Seize the prophets of Baal. Don't let anyone get away!" They seized them, and Elijah had them brought down to the Kishon Valley and slaughtered there.

sanantoniosooner

2/9/2006, 11:41 AM

I've got a permit for a vegitable peeler.

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 11:45 AM

And that is to say all truth cannot be true.
If Jesus said He is the only way to God then someone somewhere is mistaken.

White House Boy

2/9/2006, 11:59 AM

And that is to say all truth cannot be true.
If Jesus said He is the only way to God then someone somewhere is mistaken.

Jesus IS the Truth.

Pieces Hit

2/9/2006, 12:09 PM

Jesus IS the Truth.I agree but many varieties of folks don't.
The sad thing is they won't know they've been deceived until it's too late.
But then again they say I'm deceived...

Yada yada yada.

handcrafted

2/9/2006, 01:59 PM

Excellent reference, Tear Down. We studied that very passage in Christian Education hour last Sunday. My pastor also drew the same reference to the monastic orders which practiced self-flagellation many hundreds of years ago. Basically punishing yourself so God will accept you. Totally unbiblical, and actually an imitation of pagan worship.

Okla-homey

2/9/2006, 02:02 PM

I just wonder how they avoid infection. Jeepers.

Plus, odds are that the flaggelater next to you in the formation is liable to splash his blood droplets into your open wounds. Yikes.

handcrafted

2/9/2006, 02:05 PM

I just wonder how they avoid infection. Jeepers.

Plus, odds are that the flaggelater next to you in the formation is liable to splash his blood droplets into your open wounds. Yikes.

Infection is part of the deal. If you die from gangrene, it means baal/allah or whoever accepted you. Or maybe it means that you weren't accepted. I can never figure that part out.

White House Boy

2/9/2006, 02:09 PM

I just wonder how they avoid infection. Jeepers.

They let maggots keep the wounds clean, I suppose.

Taxman71

2/9/2006, 03:46 PM

I already practice self-flatulence, nobody has stepped up to join me though.

White House Boy

2/9/2006, 04:03 PM

I already practice self-flatulence, nobody has stepped up to join me though.

That really sux when you do that in the bed, then you roll over and "break the seal." Peeeeeeuuuuuu.

Tear Down This Wall

2/9/2006, 04:03 PM

Hand-crafted, about three years ago someone circulated pictures of the muslims beating themselves to a bloody pulp in the name of Allah. The Elijah showdown with the prophets of Baal immediately popped into my mind.

I guess it just goes to show, there really is nothing new under the sun.

Taxman71

2/9/2006, 06:22 PM

That really sux when you do that in the bed, then you roll over and "break the seal." Peeeeeeuuuuuu.

I prefer to give the wife and dog the "Dutch Oven". Always leaves plenty of space on my side of the bed.

mdklatt

2/9/2006, 06:25 PM

I prefer to give the wife and dog the "Dutch Oven". Always leaves plenty of space on my side of the bed.

You sleep with your dog? NTTWWT...in College Station. :eek:

Okla-homey

2/9/2006, 08:32 PM

WTF, why not just go ahead and nuke'em? Then they'll ALL be martyrs. Anyway, we're hurdling that direction. Nukes were the only thing that got the suicidal Bushido fanatics' attention in 1945.

I'm willing to go out on a limb and predict a similar response in that there part of Asia too. See, we've faced these hard-headed, "never-say-die," "fight you with my last breath you infidel bastages!" type cats before. Just something to consider, but a good old American-induced plutonium enema was just the ticket to pacify the similarly ultra-militant and fanatical Nipponese.

White House Boy

2/9/2006, 10:50 PM

mdklatt

2/9/2006, 10:54 PM

WTF, why not just go ahead and nuke'em? Then they'll ALL be martyrs. Anyway, we're hurdling that direction. Nukes were the only thing that got the suicidal Bushido fanatics' attention in 1945.

I'm willing to go out on a limb and predict a similar response in that there part of Asia too. See, we've faced these hard-headed, "never-say-die," "fight you with my last breath you infidel bastages!" type cats before.

Operation Bomb All The Brown Countries is gaining traction, and now we have a genuine Cold Warrior on the team. Yes!

Okla-homey

2/10/2006, 06:36 AM

Operation Bomb All The Brown Countries is gaining traction, and now we have a genuine Cold Warrior on the team. Yes!

Yeah, but unfortunately, they'll have to WMD us first -- nuke, chem, etc. :(

Seriously, you people understand really good satire like mine requires a grain of rationality right?

Pieces Hit

2/10/2006, 08:58 AM

I heard on the radio Saddaam had outlawed this practice and anyone caught perfoming it was tortured and killed.

Ironic, no?

Okieflyer

2/10/2006, 08:58 AM

Jesus IS the Truth.

I agree but many varieties of folks don't.
The sad thing is they won't know they've been deceived until it's too late.
But then again they say I'm deceived...

Yada yada yada.

Not if you believe WHB's statement Pieces! ;)

Taxman71

2/10/2006, 09:38 AM

You sleep with your dog? NTTWWT...in College Station. :eek:

To paraphrase Sam Kinison: it likes my folks, it doesn't complain, it's perfect!