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Pieces Hit
1/18/2006, 01:22 PM
Here's the video interview:

Johnathan "The Imaler" Sharkey (http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=a8a12214-b422-49dc-9669-294b6b438bdd,deb7ece8-dcc2-4e77-b6cb-185cd025d32f&t=c150&f=06/64&p=)



MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.

"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.

"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey told Reuters. "I just hate God the Father."

However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.

Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.

Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."

"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

The field for the governor's race in Minnesota is far from complete. Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to seek another term in November and his Democratic opponent has not been determined.

Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy Friday -- the 13th -- because that was "my lucky number."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060113/od_nm/vampire_dc

JohnnyMack
1/18/2006, 01:39 PM
Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.



Sweet!!!!!1

OklahomaTuba
1/18/2006, 01:44 PM
Knowing that state, he sounds like the front runner.

Gandalf_The_Grey
1/18/2006, 01:47 PM
Hell if he was running here, he would have my vote...bout time we got some honesty!!!!!

Pieces Hit
1/18/2006, 02:13 PM
This just in:

Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty has just been attacked by a vampire.

No suspects are being sought as witnesses report the assailant turned into a bat just after attacking the Republican incumbent.

After the attack, Gov. Pawlenty announced his new campaign slogan, "Kill All Vampires".

JohnnyMack
1/18/2006, 02:14 PM
This just in:

Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty has just been attacked by a vampire.

No suspects are being sought as witnesses report the assailant turned into a bat just after attacking the Republican incumbent.

After the attack, Gov. Pawlenty announced his new campaign slogan, "Kill All Vampires".

Says he hired this chick to be his new campaign manager:

http://membres.lycos.fr/ripou11/photos/buffy/normal/buffy01.jpg

soonerscuba
1/18/2006, 02:17 PM
I want to move to that state just to vote. Seriously, they are the kings of voting for the weirdest choice. Franken stands a good chance of making it to the Senate out of that state.

Pieces Hit
1/18/2006, 02:21 PM
I still want Ted Nugent for President.

WWIII would start in about a day but at least the news conferences would be entertaining.

"You wanna **** with us mutha****as?

This here guitar can blow the balls offa charging rhino at 50 paces..."

mdklatt
1/18/2006, 02:22 PM
Seriously, they are the kings of voting for the weirdest choice. Franken stands a good chance of making it to the Senate out of that state.

Cold kills brain cells.

soonerscuba
1/18/2006, 02:23 PM
In fairness, Franken's floor speeches would be hilarious.

mdklatt
1/18/2006, 02:32 PM
In fairness, Franken's floor speeches would be hilarious.

Franken takes himself far too seriously nowadays. Call it "Michael Moore Syndrome". I watched a little bit of his Air America radio show on TV once, and it was painful. His co-host was laughing like a hyena on meth the whole time, however.

OklahomaTuba
1/18/2006, 02:32 PM
Maybe if Franken gets a job that pays (or does he still have to work on liberal radio for free?) he can help repay that childrens home he helped steal money from.

soonerscuba
1/18/2006, 02:35 PM
Franken takes himself far too seriously nowadays. I watched a little bit of his Air America radio show on TV once, and it was painful. His co-host was laughing like a hyena on meth the whole time, however.

Yeah, I'm not much of a fan of his radio show, in fact I'm not much of a fan of Air America. But his book "The Truth, with Jokes" was awesome.

Pieces Hit
1/18/2006, 02:37 PM
THIS JUST IN:

Minnesota Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty has just turned into a vampire.

At a 1:30 news conference, the cape-wearing and fanged Gov. Pawlenty announced his revised campign slogan, "Vote for Me or Be Impaled".

More news as it happens.

OklahomaTuba
1/18/2006, 02:39 PM
At a 1:30 news conference, the cape-wearing and fanged Gov. Pawlenty announced his revised campign slogan, "Vote for Me or Be Impaled".

Must have stolen that from Clinton.

pb4ou
1/18/2006, 03:30 PM
I guess that makes a new perspective on vote or die

SicEmBaylor
1/18/2006, 03:44 PM
Will Frankenstein mount a primary challenge?

Ike
1/31/2006, 01:45 PM
things aren't looking good for the impaler.

a) he was arrested (http://www.startribune.com/467/story/216549.html) for felony escape and stalking
b) turns out he previously ran for senator in new Jersey in 2002 and Florida in 2000 as a rupublican under the name "Rocky 'Adonis' Flash", and occasionally went by the name "Darth Hurricane"

you can see some evidence of this by going to his webpage (http://jonathonforgovernor.us/) and then from there manually shifting to the /images directory of his webpage with your location bar.

or just go here:
http://www.jonathonforgovernor.us/images/