Alcohol.....

[Stanley1]

Is not always your friend. Keep that in mind.

[IronSooner]

"Ahh alcohol, the cause and solution of all my problems."

http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/rgshiwyc/school/curric/Spanish/Simpson/homer.jpg

[Jimminy Crimson]

Like when? :texan:

[oumartin]

yeah, but it sure makes you look sexier Stanley!

[ChickSoonerFan]

uummm

Did you drink too much last night..maybe?

;)

[bigdsooner]

Is not always your friend. Keep that in mind.

oh man, so many nightmares of wasted recovering saturdays

[crawfish]

HOPE YOU GET TO FEELING BETTER, STAN!!!!

[VeeJay]

I have blown so many opportunities at romantic liaisons with hot babes thanks to Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels or Anheuser Bush.

My numbers are staggering.

[StoopTroup]

I have blown so many opportunities at romantic liaisons with hot babes thanks to Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels or Anheuser Bush.

My numbers are staggering.
Get the hot girls staggering first and I think you'll see how your life will improve. ;)

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Yeah but if it wasn't for Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels and Anheuser Busch, you wouldn't know very many hot babes ;)

[VeeJay]

True dat.

This should be on a new thread, but I've only encountered one chick who could actually keep up with me on drinking.

Bluefield, Virginia - 1992. This gal was probably 5'6", 130 or so. She would stay up with me drink for drink, then want to do the nasty when I was damn near unconscious.

She had some type of pysical resistance to alcohol. She actually drove me home in her car one night when I was passed out in the backseat. When we got to my apt., whe was mixing up margaritas - at 3 a.m. We had been going at it for eight hours- she drank me under the table. I know we bumped uglies some but that whole period of my life is sorta foggy.

[Okla-homey]

I know a lot of you hillbillies are in a serious state of denial about your heritage and therefore eschew country music, but nevertheless, a country singer called Brad Paisley has a catchy little ditty that captures the essence of what we're all saying here about alcohol...


I can make anybody pretty.
I can make you believe any lie.
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size.

I've been known to cause a few break-ups,
And I've been known to cause a few births.
Well, I can make you new friends, or get you fired from work.

And since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg an' Bordeaux, France,
Been making the bars lots of big money,
An' helpin' white people dance.

I got you in trouble in High School,
But College, now that was a ball.
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:Alcohol.

I got blamed at your wedding reception,
For your best man's embarrassing speech.
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach.

I've influenced Kings and world leaders,
I helped Hemingway write like he did.
And I'll bet you a drink or two, that I can make you put that lampshade on your head.

Cause since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg and Bordeaux, France,
I been making a fool out of folks just like you,
An' helping white people dance.

I am medicine and I am poison,
I can help you up or make you fall.
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:Alcohol.

[StoopTroup]

I like this one...:D


CENTAUR DRINKING SONG
by LUCIRINA TELOR VEVAN

A pretty young filly she fancies me dear.
Every time I see her I pat her little rear.
Oh doodeley deer.
Oh doodeley deer
I pat her little rear.

There at home a mare strong as a clydesdale.
Every time I come around I peek under her tail.
Oh doodely dale.
Oh doodely dale.
I peek under her tail.

Some call me a stallion, some call me a stud.
Just because I steal of the girls their rosebud.
Oh doodely dud.
Oh doodely dud.
I steal their rosebud.

There was a cute mare in a barnyard.
She did not like me and stomped me hard.
Oh doodely dard.
Oh doodely dard.
She stomped me hard.

A Stallion offended as offended could be.
Wanted to make a gelding out of me.
Oh doodely dee.
Oh doodely dee.
Make a gelding out of me.

I told that stallion not to be a fool,
For no knife would ever touch my tool.
Oh doodely dool.
Oh doodely dool.
Ever touch my tool.

I've been with many mares, both thin and broad,
But none of them had ever seen a stallion with such a rod.
Oh doodely dod.
Oh doodely dod.
With such a rod.

Oh when I go to heaven for to finally rest.
I bet all the little angeles will be impressed.
Oh doodely dest.
Oh doodely dest.
All the little angeles will be impressed.

And the goodess, after I make her moan and yell.
in anger she will send me to hell.
Oh doodely dell.
Oh doodely dell.
She will send me to hell.

But the devil being a sly old bore.
in my face will slam the door.
Oh doodely door.
Oh doodely door.
In my face will slam the door.

[Okla-homey]

I like this one...:D

Does your Mrs know you fancy equines? :eek:

[SicEmBaylor]

Everytime I over drink I swear I won't drink again and I'm finished with alcohol, and I swear the exact same thing a few days later when I do it again.