World Picks: Young, Pickens create highs and lows for OU
By TULSA WORLD PICKER
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Can you hear me now?
Paging Kelvin Sampson, OU basketball coach Kelvin Sampson, please pick up the blue house phone, 411 are returning your calls.
This just in
According to a source, T. Boone Pickens is going to move Oklahoma State University to a location across the road from Six Flags between Dallas and Fort Worth at a cost of only $1.4 trillion.
The university will be air-lifted to Texas.
Some agricultural arenas will be left behind at the Stillwater branch.
According to the same source, Pickens will offer $65 million per year to Jimmy Johnson if he will roll off his Miami yacht and coach the Oklahoma State football team.
Plus, of course, bonuses.
This has been an emotional week for OU fans, first the euphoric high of Vince Young going pro, then the abysmal low of Oklahoma State raking in hundreds of millions.
The news of OSU's windfall hit OU radio homers so hard, one started blabbering about how Pickens better give to deserving charities as well as OSU sports; another said it still came down to who had the best players; and then head OU cheerleader emeritus Al Eshbach got
into a shouting match with OSU proponent Jim Trabor over recruiting classes.
OU fans must be wondering: Just imagine how many Vince Youngs $165 million might lure!
Questions at press time
Is the OU basketball program on the verge of a major collapse, after which it will earn a lousy NCAA seed and be bounced by a nobody, same as last year, or is the OU basketball program on the verge of a complete and total collapse, where it will be relegated to the woeful NIT for the second time in three years?
Note: This is the difference between us and them. In October, we took one look at the OU hoops team and said there's no point guard, this team is overrated. Three months later, they're saying what we said.
Would it be uncouth to ask nice-guy ORU coach Sutton to win an NCAA tournament game every decade or so?
Will "A Weekend at Keith Jackson's" be a worthy sequel to the "Weekend at Bernie's" movies?
If OU had beaten the Nebraska Cornflakes, wouldn't more people have gone to the Missouri game?
Did you happen to notice that none of the 16 quarterbacks in the NFL playoffs last week had run for a total of, oh, 20 total yards this season?
Has there ever been a group that seems more content with mediocrity than Arkansas fans?
Can Howard Stern fans spell Sirius?
Will emergency vehicles wait backstage when the Rolling Stones play at the Super Bowl?
Has there ever been a glory-hungry high school recruit who amounted to anything after announcing his signing by playing tricks with hats?
How could any OU fan not have cheered for Texas over USC?
Note: It was a vote in support of a sacred win streak. It was a vote against ESPN homers who wanted to marry USC. And cheering for the Texas win helped send Wonder Man on to the NFL.
Did you notice that a local television weather person's contract was not renewed after he cut in on a pro football game?
Note: Maybe if you could bet on the weather.
Redskins at Seattle (-9):
This Washington plays in that Washington.
Let's hope this one starts a better round of playoff games -- last weekend's four were the worst postseason encounters in NFL history.
What can you say about Seattle -- it plays in a fog.
Arizona, San Fran and St. Louis -- that's six conference wins without fastening a chin strap.
At this point we would favor the AFC over the NFC by double figures in the Super Bowl.
Seattle by 7.
New England at Denver (-3):
Ice pack? Check.
Not for this night game, for the announcer, CBS analyst Phil Simms, who seems to take a deep breath during the opening kickoff and talk pretty much nonstop until they turn off the stadium lights.
He speaks in a shrill monotone and analyzes that which doesn't need analyzing and would be effective in questioning prisoners of the state.
Quarterback comparison in this one not even close.
New England by 3.
Steelers at Indy (-9 1/2):
Huge number almost makes a person forget that Indy has never won anything.
Steelers are built for outdoors, their backs look like centers.
But Indy still hasn't won anything.
Indy by only 3.
Carolina at Chicago (-3):
Finally during the player introductions, somebody from OU gets mentioned!
Bear defender Harris is a man and a half.
A little early bad news for Chi -- normal weather is on the horizon.
The Bears were built for plowing snow.
The Carolina quarterback reminds us of golfer Sergio Garcia, a little too much hopping around and mugging between shots.
Bears by 2.