Had a Cop Over Last Night

[Pieces Hit]

I'm a country bumpkin and some other bumpkin had driven into my back yard last night and parked close to the house. A neighboring bumpkin passing by turned around to check him out and the parked bumpkin backed out and left. The neighbor came to my door and told me the whole thing and said he'd just had 3k worth of tools stolen this week. Thing is, my garage is on the other side of the house and was open as I was grilling earlier. So now my wife wants me to call the cops and I'm like it won't do any good and she's like call them anyway. And so I call the cops and tell them my story and the dispatcher says she's sending some bumpkin out and I'm like it won't do any good but okay and so in record time Deputy Bumpkin arrives to look at the tire tracks in my back yard and ask if I got the tag number. I told him no but it was a white dodge pickup. So he leaves. All in all it was rather mysterious as this unknown bumpkin was parked off the main road on the opposite side of the house the garage is located on. Moral of the story: Shut the garage after the grill cools off and be sure not to tell the Deputy you were grilling during the burn ban. Yeah it's boring but that's all I got.

[Mjcpr]

http://www.marandia.com/wsn/images/group/pl_generic/library/english/pl_template4/category15/yellow/enter-key.jpg

[Pieces Hit]

I'm a country bumpkin and some other bumpkin had driven into my back yard last night and parked close to the house.


A neighboring bumpkin passing by turned around to check him out and the parked bumpkin backed out and left.


The neighbor came to my door and told me the whole thing and said he'd just had 3k worth of tools stolen this week.


Thing is, my garage is on the other side of the house and was open as I was grilling earlier.


So now my wife wants me to call the cops and I'm like it won't do any good and she's like call them anyway.


And so I call the cops and tell them my story and the dispatcher says she's sending some bumpkin out and I'm like it won't do any good but okay and so in record time Deputy Bumpkin arrives to look at the tire tracks in my back yard and ask if I got the tag number. I told him no but it was a white dodge pickup.


So he leaves.


All in all it was rather mysterious as this unknown bumpkin was parked off the main road on the opposite side of the house the garage is located on.


Moral of the story:


Shut the garage after the grill cools off and be sure not to tell the Deputy you were grilling during the burn ban.


Yeah it's boring but that's all I got.

[Mjcpr]

http://www.ivygreen.ctc.edu/avery/activities/tech/images/delete_key.jpg

[Okieflyer]

You need one of these to help get that tag number
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004THMT.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
Night Owl (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00004THMT/102-7781591-1140136?v=glance&n=502394)

[Pieces Hit]

Seeing how I was wearing head phones and immersed in Age of Empires, I would also need to be psychic.

My dang dogs didn't even hear it.

[Jimminy Crimson]

I got all the bumpkins confused.

Did you make any jack o lanterns, or is that a different kind of bumpkin?

[Pieces Hit]

If you bumpkin you might have funny looking kids.

[12]

http://www.self-defender.net/images2/shotguns/winchester1300.jpg

Just a warning shot should do the trick.

[Pieces Hit]

I can't see this picture.
You bumpkin.

[afs]

You need one of these to help get that tag number
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004THMT.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
Night Owl (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00004THMT/102-7781591-1140136?v=glance&n=502394)

and this

http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/ground/images/m107-pic2.jpg

[Pieces Hit]

All I got is 2 9mm's, pepper spray, 2 jack russell terriers, a mag light, and ham-like fists.

[JohnnyMack]

All I got is...............and ham-like fists.

http://buy.overstock.com/images/products/muze/music/99821.jpg

I'll be right over.

[Pieces Hit]

Last year I had a half-naked almost raped woman in the yard.
Don't remember if I told that one or not but it was considerably more exciting.

[Jimminy Crimson]

Last year I had a half-naked almost raped woman in the yard.
Don't remember if I told that one or not but it was considerably more exciting.

WTF!?!

pic?

;)

[JohnnyMack]

Last year I had a half-naked almost raped woman in the yard.
Don't remember if I told that one or not but it was considerably more exciting.

http://buy.overstock.com/images/products/muze/music/99821.jpg

Nevermind.

[Pieces Hit]

No pic but she was actually attractive and quite scared.
Also had a warrant for arrest.
They took her away in an ambulance.

[frankensooner]

Did the bumpkin in the white dodge pickup truck parked in your yard take anything?

[Pieces Hit]

You know, seriously, I had about 250' of water hose laying out that's gone.

Just dawned on me.

Called wife, she says it's gone.

I was using it while running a torch a couple weeks back to keep the yard wet.

Mystery solved.

Crap.

[Pieces Hit]

UPDATE----

Upon closer inspection - hose was not taken.
Yay.
----------------------------

I was out of town Friday night and someone banged on my door at 11:45 at night - scaring the crap out of my wife.
He pulled out of my driveway in a truck matching the same description as before.
Wife calls me and by this time I'm drunk on margaritas.
I tell her to "caawl th shhhhaaarriiifff."
--------------------------------
Saturday:

I sit in the dark house all night ready to kick *** and take names.
--------------------------------

Sunday morning someone bangs on my door.
I grab an asp and go outside.

This guy asks if I'm so and so living at so and so (never heard of either).

I tell him I ain't and who is he and what does he want - as I'm walking around the house - to see it's the same truck.

I tell him (ready for a fight, mind you) he's been on my property twice now and think he's casing my house to rob it.

He says he's a repo guy and he got the wrong house.

But says he was only here once on Friday night. (Lies about parking in my back yard Wednesday night.)

I get his tag # - tell him he scared my wife to death - and tell him to leave.

He apologizes profusely.

I called the sherriff.

He's a repo guy all right and this bumpkin has been watching the wrong house all week.

What a deal.

[picasso]

did he look like Emilio Estevez?

[Pieces Hit]

He looked like a penis wearing a cap and sunglasses.