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sanantoniosooner
10/22/2005, 02:13 PM
The one where you reply "They taught us not to urinate on our hands"

It just doesn't make me laugh.

All I'm thinking is "yeah, but you still have crotch sweat all over your hands".

Just wash your hands people.
OUAndy1807
10/22/2005, 02:18 PM
what's brown and sticky?




a stick.
sanantoniosooner
10/22/2005, 02:22 PM
It's a bad joke, but it makes sense.

Unlike the one where you justify poor hygiene.
SoonerInKCMO
10/22/2005, 02:26 PM
While I was dropping the kids off at the pool yesterday morning, I counted three guys that came in, used the #1 and then left without washing their hands.

I ain't shakin' nobody's hands at work. Dirty bastards. :mad:
OUAndy1807
10/22/2005, 02:30 PM
not washing your hands helps build up immunity to germs slowly over time, much like a flu shot. therefore, if you wash your hands after going to the bathroom you are encouraging bird flu. thanks for that.
SoonerInKCMO
10/22/2005, 02:34 PM
Hmm... Good point.
sanantoniosooner
10/22/2005, 02:39 PM
I don't care where the bird flu.

I do care where the handshake got that unidentifiable aroma from.
Penguin
10/22/2005, 04:21 PM
I saw a report on 20/20 where they took swabs of office keyboards and sent them off to lab to be tested.


50% of the keyboards tested positive for the presence of urine. A candy dish that everyone touches had something like 1000 times more bacteria than the office toilet seat.
JohnnyMack
10/22/2005, 04:40 PM
While I was dropping the kids off at the pool yesterday morning, I counted three guys that came in, used the #1 and then left without washing their hands.

I ain't shakin' nobody's hands at work. Dirty bastards. :mad:

You either work in a really crowded office, or ate the wrong thing for breakfast.
BoogercountySooner
10/22/2005, 04:42 PM
Pull my finger!!
soonercody
10/22/2005, 06:59 PM
A bear, a parrot, and a nun with a wooden leg walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"
Rogue
10/22/2005, 08:01 PM
You ever notice how geese always fly in a V-formation and one side is always longer than the other?

You know why that is?

There are more geese on that side.
VeeJay
10/22/2005, 08:43 PM
Anyone hear the one abiout the priest, the rabbi, and the snake handler from West Virginia?
chriscappel
10/23/2005, 03:03 AM
Two guys walk into a bar.... The thhird ducks........ :D
nanimonai
10/23/2005, 03:51 AM
The Pope walks into a bar.....

...has a few beers, pays his tab and leaves.
BoogercountySooner
10/23/2005, 04:50 AM
Your momma's so fat -------
sanantoniosooner
10/23/2005, 08:13 AM
intructions are hard.
proud gonzo
10/23/2005, 11:19 AM
what's the difference between an orange?



A vest because it has no sleeves.
TexasLidig8r
10/23/2005, 11:56 AM
Crotch sweat?????????????????????????
49r
10/23/2005, 12:29 PM
Duck walks into a bar.

Everyone yells "DUCK!"

but it was too late.
sanantoniosooner
10/23/2005, 01:55 PM
Crotch sweat?????????????????????????
I could get more specific but I was trying to maintain a "G" rating.
proud gonzo
10/23/2005, 11:13 PM
WARNING: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE AHEAD









Whaddya call a fat Chinaman?



Chunk!




:D
olevetonahill
10/24/2005, 12:32 AM
While I was dropping the kids off at the pool yesterday morning, I counted three guys that came in, used the #1 and then left without washing their hands.

I ain't shakin' nobody's hands at work. Dirty bastards. :mad:

Thats why most just **** in the pool , they never touch thier equipment so no need to wash :eek:
yermom
10/24/2005, 01:03 AM
welcome to our ool
william_brasky
10/24/2005, 06:12 AM
living in Texas...

hey man, you're from Oklahoma, well you know why texas doesn't fall into to the ocean...cause oklahoma sucks man....

yeah, good one
nanimonai
10/24/2005, 06:57 AM
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
soonercody
4/26/2006, 07:53 PM
What's brown and sticky?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
a stick.
StoopTroup
4/26/2006, 07:58 PM
I broke my leg in 3 places...

Stay out of those places...
sanantoniosooner
4/26/2006, 08:41 PM
what's brown and sticky?




a stick.


What's brown and sticky?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
a stick.geez people.......it's only two pages........
setem
4/26/2006, 08:45 PM
not washing your hands helps build up immunity to germs slowly over time, much like a flu shot. therefore, if you wash your hands after going to the bathroom you are encouraging bird flu. thanks for that.

Good Call!

So I says to the guys...I would rather have a bottle infront of me, than a frontal lobotomy!!!

ZING!
OUstud
4/26/2006, 09:26 PM
Pretty much anything on Weekend Update these days.
Oldnslo
4/26/2006, 09:51 PM
Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Hey, where'd you get that?"

Frog says, "Brooklyn! There's hundreds of them!"
GottaHavePride
4/26/2006, 10:05 PM
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Did the stock boy follow it with "Here's your sign..."? Because that would TOTALLY finish off a lame joke.
C&CDean
4/26/2006, 10:16 PM
How many Etheopians can you fit in a phone booth?

All of them.
opksooner
4/26/2006, 10:20 PM
What did they say when they hung the 4'11" Japanese guy?

"There's a little nip in the air!"
C&CDean
4/26/2006, 10:26 PM
How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

With a crowbar.
Ike
4/26/2006, 10:53 PM
A horse walks into a doctors office.
The doctor takes a look at the horse and asks "So, why the long face?"
OCUDad
4/26/2006, 11:06 PM
As long as we're doing lame duck (ha ha) jokes...

Duck walks into a drugstore, picks up a tube of ChapStick.
Pharmacist says "that'll be $1.50."
Duck says "just put it on my bill."
49r
4/27/2006, 02:32 PM
Duck walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a condom.

Pharmacist says, "You want me to put that on your bill?"

Duck says, "What kind of duck do you think I am???"
Fugue
4/27/2006, 02:34 PM
What's brown and sticky?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
a stick
IB4OU2
4/27/2006, 02:40 PM
My wife has mood swings, So I bought her a mood ring the
other day so I would be able to monitor her moods.

I discovered that when she's in a good mood, it turns green. When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on my forehead......:eek:...:(
NormanPride
4/27/2006, 02:46 PM
What's red and not there?




No tomatoes.
GulfCoastBamaFan
4/27/2006, 02:47 PM
How do canucks spell "Canada?"

C, eh?

N, eh?

D, eh?
GulfCoastBamaFan
4/27/2006, 02:50 PM
This guy goes to the doctor and says, "help me!" every time I fart, my butt says "HONDA!"

Doc says, "open your mouth." Dude does...

Doc says, "I knew it. Abcess tooth."

Dude says, "WTF does that have to do with my butt saying Honda?!"?

Doc says: Everyone knows that abcess makes the fart go Honda.

Ba dump bump.
IB4OU2
4/27/2006, 02:51 PM
I need to tell this one to my daughter- :D

A girl from Oklahoma and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Oklahoma, being friendly and all, said, "So, where y'all from?"

The New York girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Oklahoma sat quietly for a few moments and then replied,

"So, where y'all from, bitch?"
Osce0la
4/27/2006, 03:08 PM
copycat threads? ;)
sanantoniosooner
4/27/2006, 05:04 PM
What's brown and sticky?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
a stick
http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/reputation/reputation_highneg.gif
Crimson_Balls
4/27/2006, 05:17 PM
Whaddya call a fat Chinaman?



Chunk!

:D

Walter: "Chinaman is not the correct nomenclature Dude. Its Asian American"
sanantoniosooner
4/27/2006, 05:20 PM
Walter: "Chinaman is not the correct nomenclature Dude. Its Asian American"
Not if he's in China.
SoonerBBall
4/27/2006, 05:50 PM
Crotch sweat?????????????????????????

Apparently there are people who think that there are different kinds of sweat being generated in different parts of your body.

Oh, and urine is sterile, but please continue to spread misinformation throught the board.
sanantoniosooner
4/27/2006, 05:54 PM
Apparently there are people who think that there are different kinds of sweat being generated in different parts of your body.

Oh, and urine is sterile, but please continue to spread misinformation throught the board.
Why don't you smell your crotch and you arm pits and let us know if it appears to be the same aroma.
SoonerBBall
4/27/2006, 06:52 PM
Why don't you smell your crotch and you arm pits and let us know if it appears to be the same aroma.

Think very hard about the two areas you mentioned, then tell me again that the sweat glands in those areas are secreting different sweat then all your other sweat glands. Thanks.
StoopTroup
4/27/2006, 06:58 PM
Bend over and spell run...
sanantoniosooner
4/27/2006, 07:57 PM
Think very hard about the two areas you mentioned, then tell me again that the sweat glands in those areas are secreting different sweat then all your other sweat glands. Thanks.
Did I actually say that it was different sweat, or did I just imply there the sweat has a different aroma?

I bet you can read a paragraph into the 21 words I just put up there.