PDA

View Full Version : whats the most embarassing thing you've ever done?



BoogercountySooner
9/25/2005, 09:47 PM
Lets tell some funny stores about ourselves. Don't be shy.

Heres one of mine. I was a sophmore in High school and was the starting defensive end on the Highschool football team. Our coach had told me to watch the back coming out to in the flat so I did. Sure enough late in the game there goes the back out into the flat so I time my break just right and pick off the ball on dead run. Nothing but daylight between myself and the endzone.

Heres the embarrassing part. I was just a Sophmore so when giving out equipment I was one of last to pick mine.

So the wornout Football pants that I was issued had a bad belt on them and as I was racing for the endzone the buckle busted and the pants fell to my ankles as I came to a stop on their 13 yard line with my Jockstrap being all that kept me from being totally exposed. It took a second for an opposing player to arrive and he just stood there as I attemted to pull my pants up
once I did he tackled me.

Did I mention the hundreds of laughing fans?

We went on to score the winning touchdown.

We replayed that about 29 times the next week during film review. :D :D

BajaOklahoma
9/25/2005, 09:52 PM
Pics? Video?

Al Gore
9/25/2005, 09:59 PM
Great Story!!!!!

GDC
9/25/2005, 10:00 PM
Teaching several classes with my fly open.

Al Gore
9/25/2005, 10:02 PM
Were you "freebird"??

GDC
9/25/2005, 10:04 PM
Were you "freebird"??

I was mostly behind a lectern so I don't too many noticed anyway, at least they didn't make a big deal out of it.

BoogercountySooner
9/25/2005, 10:06 PM
Pics? Video?


This was in 1974 so preVHS. I went back years later looking for the 8mm film but it was not to be found. I think IB4OU2 was there he could till ya about it.

achiro
9/25/2005, 10:08 PM
You should have waited to post that cause there aren't many that can beat it! :D

Stanley1
9/25/2005, 10:08 PM
I was mostly behind a lectern so I don't too many noticed anyway, at least they didn't make a big deal out of it.

He'll be here all week folks.

BoogercountySooner
9/25/2005, 10:11 PM
You should have waited to post that cause there aren't many that can beat it! :D

If everybody plays I have more stories!
:D

achiro
9/25/2005, 10:13 PM
Teaching several classes with my fly open.
Confucius say, "When one spend time on the web between classes, one should be sure and zip it back"

Sooner24
9/25/2005, 10:14 PM
I was mostly behind a lectern so I don't too many noticed anyway, at least they didn't make a big deal out of it.

You aren't a judge are you???? :confused: :eek:

http://www.sapulpadailyherald.com/news/local_story_264120203.html

sanantoniosooner
9/25/2005, 10:15 PM
I asked a huskerfan what "GBR" meant.

I didn't post for a week after that.

GDC
9/25/2005, 10:20 PM
You aren't a judge are you???? :confused: :eek:

http://www.sapulpadailyherald.com/news/local_story_264120203.html

Heh, no, nothing like that. :O

apusooner
9/25/2005, 10:22 PM
once, on a basketball band trip, we stopped at a hardees in kansas. when we left, it was sunny and 70. in kansas, it was windy, cloudy and about 30. i had short sleeves on and i decided that was pretty cold. oh, the cheer squad was with us too. so being cold, i decide to run in the hardees. as i was passing the cheer squad, i tripped on a piece of raised concrete, and belly flopped right there in front of everyone. i slid to a stop and started laughing. the cheerleaders just kind of stood there and looked at me like i was retarded, which is probably what i would have done in the same situation, but not one person asked me if i was okay. so then i started posing like shamu to try and get a laugh, but it didnt. i felt so dumb.

BoogercountySooner
9/25/2005, 10:24 PM
once, on a basketball band trip, we stopped at a hardees in kansas. when we left, it was sunny and 70. in kansas, it was windy, cloudy and about 30. i had short sleeves on and i decided that was pretty cold. oh, the cheer squad was with us too. so being cold, i decide to run in the hardees. as i was passing the cheer squad, i tripped on a piece of raised concrete, and belly flopped right there in front of everyone. i slid to a stop and started laughing. the cheerleaders just kind of stood there and looked at me like i was retarded, which is probably what i would have done in the same situation, but not one person asked me if i was okay. so then i started posing like shamu to try and get a laugh, but it didnt. i felt so dumb.



HEH

sanantoniosooner
9/25/2005, 10:24 PM
I wondered how long it would be before the word "band" was used.:)

apusooner
9/25/2005, 10:32 PM
I wondered how long it would be before the word "band" was used.:)

sorry, i can't help it. alot of stupid stuff happens in that department. usually anything related with "band" has something embarrassing to tag along with it. :O

jdsmith
9/25/2005, 11:49 PM
so there I was, jonsing for some Mac and Cheese. well i said to myself, "frank," cause that's what I call myself, Frank, i said "frank, who has the best mac and cheese?" None other that Ryan's Steakhouse...

soonerscuba
9/26/2005, 01:57 AM
Are we interchanging shame with embarassment? Because, I've thrown a few bones to a few more dogs than I would care to admit. On the flip side, a few young ladies who have been recipients of my largesse probably think the same thing.

AlbqSooner
9/26/2005, 04:19 AM
I posted this story a couple of years ago here and don't know why I did so, but having already made it public knowledge, I guess I could re-tell it now.

Every spring when I was in college there was an All Greek Games weekend which include competitions in most anything related to sport. It was heavily attended by most of the students on campus, and being spring time, most of the women wore somewhat scant outfits so it was THE place to be.

On Friday night before the Saturday games, there was a big drunkfest at a tavern near campus which included a jalapeno eating contest. I entered that contest and after consuming copious amounts of beer, started eating the peppers. It quickly became obvious that the only contest was between me and another guy, the others having dropped out quite early. As he and I kept pushing peppers into our mouths, chewing a bit and swallowing it became clear to me that I had to go for the knock out punch, as this guy was matching me bite for bite. Hence, I grabbed a bottle of tabasco sitting there and proceeded to chug it as he threw up his hands and said forget it. I reveled in the glorious cheers of the onlookers, picked up the $25 first prize, and, being quite drunk, did not feel too badly about it.

Next morning at 10 a.m. my volleyball team was starting a game, and I was there in my white basketball shorts and no shirt, set to play. My stomach however was making sounds kinda like a rock crusher set on fine grind and to be candid I did not feel very well at all. However, I managed to play fairly well up to a point.

That point was when I was on the front line and a teammate set an incredibly high pass to me which was going to come down just on my side of the net. I timed my leap perfectly, leaped as high as I could, raised my left arm, outstretched a bit behind my head, and slammed an overhead kill shot, accompanied by a grunting sound, which won the point.

Unfortunately, between the physical exertion of executing the kill shot and the accompanying grunt sound, my GI tract threw in the towel and I crapped my pants in front of all those previously mentioned scantily clad coeds. I am talking major brown stain and running down the back of my legs.

But hey, the point was good and we won the game.

BoogercountySooner
9/26/2005, 05:01 AM
Bravo, Bravo

GDC
9/26/2005, 07:28 AM
I posted this story a couple of years ago here and don't know why I did so, but having already made it public knowledge, I guess I could re-tell it now.

Every spring when I was in college there was an All Greek Games weekend which include competitions in most anything related to sport. It was heavily attended by most of the students on campus, and being spring time, most of the women wore somewhat scant outfits so it was THE place to be.

On Friday night before the Saturday games, there was a big drunkfest at a tavern near campus which included a jalapeno eating contest. I entered that contest and after consuming copious amounts of beer, started eating the peppers. It quickly became obvious that the only contest was between me and another guy, the others having dropped out quite early. As he and I kept pushing peppers into our mouths, chewing a bit and swallowing it became clear to me that I had to go for the knock out punch, as this guy was matching me bite for bite. Hence, I grabbed a bottle of tabasco sitting there and proceeded to chug it as he threw up his hands and said forget it. I reveled in the glorious cheers of the onlookers, picked up the $25 first prize, and, being quite drunk, did not feel too badly about it.

Next morning at 10 a.m. my volleyball team was starting a game, and I was there in my white basketball shorts and no shirt, set to play. My stomach however was making sounds kinda like a rock crusher set on fine grind and to be candid I did not feel very well at all. However, I managed to play fairly well up to a point.

That point was when I was on the front line and a teammate set an incredibly high pass to me which was going to come down just on my side of the net. I timed my leap perfectly, leaped as high as I could, raised my left arm, outstretched a bit behind my head, and slammed an overhead kill shot, accompanied by a grunting sound, which won the point.

Unfortunately, between the physical exertion of executing the kill shot and the accompanying grunt sound, my GI tract threw in the towel and I crapped my pants in front of all those previously mentioned scantily clad coeds. I am talking major brown stain and running down the back of my legs.

But hey, the point was good and we won the game.

Shart!

Howzit
9/26/2005, 08:33 AM
Wholly crap!

SoonerWood
9/26/2005, 08:40 AM
NUH-NUH NUH-NUH nuh-nuh nuh-nuh

NUH-NUH NUH-NUH nuh-nuh nuh-nuh

SHARTMAN!

crawfish
9/26/2005, 08:55 AM
Alright, I'll reveal this. Yes, it's a band story.

My freshman year at OU, the pride didn't have a home game before OU-texas. I was one of the unlucky frosh who was replaced in the pregame show by an alternate...however, I was subsequently given a new spot in the pregame - leading a freaking line out onto the field on the 20yd line. This was 1984.

So, to build this up:

1) I'm a freshman at OU and never marched at an OU game before...
2) I'm wearing my brand-new, slick-soled black marching shoes for the first time...
3) I'm leading a line out onto the field, meaning that I'm setting the pace...
4) There is a drizzle coming down and the field is wet and slippery...

Yes, I took one step onto the field for pregame and fell on my ***, in front of 75,000 fans and the texas longhorn band. Half my line went around me before I finally got up and ran to my spot, only to almost fall again when we whipped around to face up the field.

At least I didn't lose my pants. ;)

tulsaoilerfan
9/26/2005, 09:06 AM
Alright, I'll reveal this. Yes, it's a band story.

My freshman year at OU, the pride didn't have a home game before OU-texas. I was one of the unlucky frosh who was replaced in the pregame show by an alternate...however, I was subsequently given a new spot in the pregame - leading a freaking line out onto the field on the 20yd line. This was 1984.

So, to build this up:

1) I'm a freshman at OU and never marched at an OU game before...
2) I'm wearing my brand-new, slick-soled black marching shoes for the first time...
3) I'm leading a line out onto the field, meaning that I'm setting the pace...
4) There is a drizzle coming down and the field is wet and slippery...

Yes, I took one step onto the field for pregame and fell on my ***, in front of 75,000 fans and the texas longhorn band. Half my line went around me before I finally got up and ran to my spot, only to almost fall again when we whipped around to face up the field.

At least I didn't lose my pants. ;)
Or crap in them; those 2 stories would be pretty tuff to beat. :eek:

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 09:10 AM
When but a young, teenage, drunken buck, I creamed a knee one time anticipating insertion/penetration.

Other than that one time, I pretty much don't get embarrassed by anything. No shame in my game.

Newbomb Turk
9/26/2005, 11:24 AM
I posted this story a couple of years ago here and don't know why I did so, but having already made it public knowledge, I guess I could re-tell it now.

Every spring when I was in college there was an All Greek Games weekend which include competitions in most anything related to sport. It was heavily attended by most of the students on campus, and being spring time, most of the women wore somewhat scant outfits so it was THE place to be.

On Friday night before the Saturday games, there was a big drunkfest at a tavern near campus which included a jalapeno eating contest. I entered that contest and after consuming copious amounts of beer, started eating the peppers. It quickly became obvious that the only contest was between me and another guy, the others having dropped out quite early. As he and I kept pushing peppers into our mouths, chewing a bit and swallowing it became clear to me that I had to go for the knock out punch, as this guy was matching me bite for bite. Hence, I grabbed a bottle of tabasco sitting there and proceeded to chug it as he threw up his hands and said forget it. I reveled in the glorious cheers of the onlookers, picked up the $25 first prize, and, being quite drunk, did not feel too badly about it.

Next morning at 10 a.m. my volleyball team was starting a game, and I was there in my white basketball shorts and no shirt, set to play. My stomach however was making sounds kinda like a rock crusher set on fine grind and to be candid I did not feel very well at all. However, I managed to play fairly well up to a point.

That point was when I was on the front line and a teammate set an incredibly high pass to me which was going to come down just on my side of the net. I timed my leap perfectly, leaped as high as I could, raised my left arm, outstretched a bit behind my head, and slammed an overhead kill shot, accompanied by a grunting sound, which won the point.

Unfortunately, between the physical exertion of executing the kill shot and the accompanying grunt sound, my GI tract threw in the towel and I crapped my pants in front of all those previously mentioned scantily clad coeds. I am talking major brown stain and running down the back of my legs.

But hey, the point was good and we won the game.

WINNER! - or loser, depends how you look at it.

tulsaoilerfan
9/26/2005, 11:26 AM
When but a young, teenage, drunken buck, I creamed a knee one time anticipating insertion/penetration.

Other than that one time, I pretty much don't get embarrassed by anything. No shame in my game.
What guy here hasn't done that at one time or another. :D

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 11:30 AM
What guy here hasn't done that at one time or another. :D

<raises hand>

mdklatt
9/26/2005, 11:44 AM
<raises hand>

IBTSJ

achiro
9/26/2005, 11:49 AM
What guy here hasn't done that at one time or another. :D
Can't say that I have.

Czar Soonerov
9/26/2005, 11:57 AM
When but a young, teenage, drunken buck, I creamed a knee one time anticipating insertion/penetration.

Other than that one time, I pretty much don't get embarrassed by anything. No shame in my game.

I know a guy that did that at a strip joint during a table dance. He was known as "Mr. Cream Jeans" after that.

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 11:59 AM
He knows "a guy." It happened to "a friend."

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 12:00 PM
He knows "a guy." It happened to "a friend."

Heh.

Czar Soonerov
9/26/2005, 12:45 PM
He knows "a guy." It happened to "a Freund."

fixed

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 12:46 PM
Heh.

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 12:49 PM
At a strip joint? I can honestly say that I've never even copped a semi-boner at a strip joint. In fact, I pretty much go inverted at those places.

And Stanley, when you reach puberty, and your body is mature enough to produce semen, you'll cream a knee.

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 12:52 PM
All kidding aside Dean, if you had ever met the guy he's talking about, you'd understand. World-class pervert, world class. He's in seminary now.

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 12:54 PM
All kidding aside Dean, if you had ever met the guy he's talking about, you'd understand. World-class pervert, world class. He's in seminary now.

Probably worked a deal with the case worker. "Here's your choices son, you can go to prison, or become a priest." So, now he can be a perv, wear a smock, and get Vatican protection. What a deal.

OklahomaTuba
9/26/2005, 12:55 PM
I wiped out on Owen Field running onto the field for pregame.

There is nothing like taking a fall with a sousaphone in front of 75,000+ people!

achiro
9/26/2005, 12:59 PM
When but a young, teenage, drunken buck, I creamed a knee one time anticipating insertion/penetration.

Other than that one time, I pretty much don't get embarrassed by anything. No shame in my game.
Being that young and inexperienced, I bet you two were worried that you may have gotten her pregnant. :D

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 01:01 PM
Probably worked a deal with the case worker. "Here's your choices son, you can go to prison, or become a priest." So, now he can be a perv, wear a smock, and get Vatican protection. What a deal.

It's actually a Protestant denomination. Guess which one and I'll give you a cookie.

crawfish
9/26/2005, 01:05 PM
I wiped out on Owen Field running onto the field for pregame.

There is nothing like taking a fall with a sousaphone in front of 75,000+ people!

My fall was funnier. :mad:

crawfish
9/26/2005, 01:08 PM
It's actually a Protestant denomination. Guess which one and I'll give you a cookie.

annnnnd....Methodists!

http://www.scvhistory.com/gif/lw2145g.jpg

Pricetag
9/26/2005, 01:12 PM
All kidding aside Dean, if you had ever met the guy he's talking about, you'd understand. World-class pervert, world class. He's in seminary now.
Seminary, or semenary?

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 01:13 PM
annnnnd....Methodists!



No cookie for you.

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 01:14 PM
It's actually a Protestant denomination. Guess which one and I'll give you a cookie.

Yeah, I should have figured that out. He was at a titty bar, not a cub scout meeting. I'll go with crawfish. Methodist?

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 01:15 PM
OK, Lutheran?

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 01:18 PM
And Stanley, when you reach puberty, and your body is mature enough to produce semen, you'll cream a knee.

:rolleyes:

What were you.....12?

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 01:20 PM
Which denomination really really hates tittay bars?

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 01:21 PM
:rolleyes:

What were you.....12?

However old you are when you're in the summer between 7th and 8th grade.

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 01:21 PM
Which denomination really really hates tittay bars?

Baptist? No kiddin' huh? I didn't know they did the whole seminary thingy.

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 01:24 PM
Hey!!!!!

I'm Baptist, and I love the tittay bars. :D

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 01:24 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v507/kydem/tv/cookie.jpg

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 01:26 PM
I've also been known to "cut a rug" on occassion.

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 01:27 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v507/kydem/tv/cookie.jpg

You "did" the Cookie Monster????? :eek:

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 01:28 PM
COOOOOOOOKIE!!!!

achiro
9/26/2005, 01:29 PM
You "did" the Cookie Monster????? :eek:
I can see how that would be embarrassing.

Viking Kitten
9/26/2005, 01:33 PM
What can I say? I'm a cookie whore.

Czar Soonerov
9/26/2005, 01:50 PM
Cookies are a sometimes food.

Soonerfan85
9/26/2005, 01:53 PM
It's raining cats and dogs as my FIL and I are setting up their camper for a short July 4th campout a couple of years ago. By the time we'd finished, we were soaked to the bone. Once inside, we realize that in our haste to get the camper set up in the rain, we forgot to properly block and level the front jacks. Oh well, we'll have time for that tomorrow when it's not raining.

With nothing much to do but sit around a watch it rain, the kids decide they'd rather sleep at my folk's house. No big deal as they only live about 30 minutes away. So Mrs. Soonerfan85 and self along with my FIL and MIL will have the camper to ourselves the first night. Many games of Hearts and Spades and way too much Turbo Dog later, it's time to retire for the night. The last thing my FIL says as he's headed to their bedroom is "Don't forget, we didn't get the camper leveled". ;)

Well, as any married SF member knows, a night without the kids means one of two things is gonna happen. Either 1) we're gonna get a great night sleep, or 2) we're not going to get any sleep at all.:D Mrs. Soonerfan85 decides she wants to go for option 2. If you've ever tried doing The Nasty on one of those little pull camper beds that doubles as a seating area, then you're probably already guessed what happened next. Being that the bed is rather narrow and is attached to the wall of the camper, every move is exagerated and shakes the camper. Being considerate of my in-laws feelings (we really do get along well), we waited until we could hear my FIL and MIL snoring before we began our midnight cardio workout. About 20 minutes into the workout, the camper starts shaking pretty violently. No problem we think, cause we can still hear them snoring. Between the shaking of the camper and my wife getting her hand tangled in the miniblinds, we were laughing so hard I'm surprised we even noticed it when the camper slipped off one of the levelling jacks. Unfortunately, I guess the noise from the miniblinds and the camper shaking was enough to awaken my in-laws, cause when the camper slipped off the jack, they both came running out of their bedroom to see what had happened. Well, I'm guessing that by the looks on their faces :eek: what they saw wasn't exactly what they were expecting. I suppose the looks on our faces :O must have been pretty funny as well.

Now the weird thing about this incident is that even though Mrs. Soonerfan85 and I have been married for 24 years, all weekend I felt like a teenager that'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Now whenever we spend the night at the in-laws, the last thing my FIL says before he retires to bed is "You two take it easy tonight, we don't have earthquake insurance". Ha Ha. Funny guy my FIL.

Mjcpr
9/26/2005, 01:59 PM
About 20 minutes into the workout, the camper starts shaking pretty violently.
This is the most impressive part of the whole story.

:D

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 02:01 PM
This is the most impressive part of the whole story.

:D

About 20 minutes longer than Dean can go. :D

Mjcpr
9/26/2005, 02:04 PM
Mrs. Soonerfan85 decides she wants to go for option 2.
Also, this makes the story difficult to believe.

;)

mdklatt
9/26/2005, 02:07 PM
About 20 minutes longer than Dean can go. :D

IMSSRA :D

(Enjoy your "vacation".)

C&CDean
9/26/2005, 02:08 PM
About 20 minutes longer than Dean can go. :D

pffffft. 20 minutes? I call that before-foreplay.

Soonerfan85
9/26/2005, 02:10 PM
Also, this makes the story difficult to believe.

;)


What's so hard to believe?

I enjoy a little foreplay as much as the next guy. Soooooo, if you account for the 2 minutes of foreplay, that's only 18 minutes of monkey lust. :P

achiro
9/26/2005, 02:11 PM
pffffft. 20 minutes? I call that before-foreplay.
Better known as the time it takes the viagra to kick in.

Stanley1
9/26/2005, 02:12 PM
nm

Mjcpr
9/26/2005, 02:13 PM
What's so hard to believe?

I enjoy a little foreplay as much as the next guy. Soooooo, if you account for the 2 minutes of foreplay, that's only 18 minutes of monkey lust. :P
I meant the part where the Mrs wanted to. You know that doesn't happen in real life.

:D

BoogercountySooner
9/27/2005, 05:42 AM
Some funny stuff!!

Newbomb Turk
9/27/2005, 01:04 PM
all weekend I felt like a teenager that'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v507/kydem/tv/cookie.jpg

crawfish
9/27/2005, 01:11 PM
Better known as the time it takes the viagra to kick in.

y....m...s...s...r...a...

:D

crawfish
9/27/2005, 01:12 PM
I meant the part where the Mrs wanted to. You know that doesn't happen in real life.

:D

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean OUR wives don't, Pat. :eddie:

Mjcpr
9/27/2005, 01:13 PM
Just because you don't like it doesn't mean OUR wives don't, Pat. :eddie:
Booooo!!!

mdklatt
9/27/2005, 01:16 PM
n/m

Penguin
9/27/2005, 02:13 PM
Geez. I was going to say that I was caught stealing baseball cards when I was a teenager.

There's some funny stuff in this thread. :D

silverwheels
9/27/2005, 02:27 PM
I have never done anything embarrassing, and if I have, I don't remember it.

proud gonzo
9/27/2005, 05:31 PM
I wiped out on Owen Field running onto the field for pregame.

There is nothing like taking a fall with a sousaphone in front of 75,000+ people!
that should explain it though :D

booomer
9/27/2005, 09:42 PM
Teaching several classes with my fly open.
Heh!


I once wore a dress to work turned around backwards.

When someone mentioned that it was prettier in the back than in the front, I looked down and realized it was on backwards!

So, I run to the bathroom and turn it around. It was late in the day so it was all wrinkled in front where I'd been sitting on it all day! And, all day long I had been pulling at the sleeves and I even commented once that the sleeves seemed like they were sewn on backwards! lol

When I told my husband, he said, "I bet they couldn't tell if you were coming or going." lol

Bama/OU
9/27/2005, 09:54 PM
The soap in the bathroom at my old job smelled really good. It was the cool foaming kind.

I walked out smelling my hands.

In front of two hotties walking by.

All they saw was some jackass walk out of the men's room smelling his hands. Not a good day.

sanantoniosooner
9/27/2005, 10:01 PM
When I was a teenager, my girlfriend was going on a trip to New York. An airport employee commented on how heavy her bag was. Being the smartbutt I am, I felt obligated to make a joke out of it. I started to say she had a microwave in the bag, and in a sudden burst of thought I figured that would be illegal so the word "bomb" popped out instead. Stupid stupid stupid.

sanantoniosooner
9/27/2005, 10:05 PM
Before Cell phones were common, I got a page while I was at Logan's Roadhouse. I was holding my 2 year old while phoning the number at the payphone. All of the sudden an alarm goes off and people start freaking out. I find it difficult to turn around because my son has his hand on the alarm handle on the wall.

BoogercountySooner
7/26/2006, 08:51 PM
There is some funny stuff in this old thread. I bet some things have happened that can be added to this.

sanantoniosooner
7/26/2006, 09:03 PM
I posted a picture of some man-teets and was added to sanantoniosooners ignore list.
:mad:

BoogercountySooner
7/26/2006, 09:07 PM
:mad:

Sorry SAS I'll buy ya a drink at Christmas to help heal your mind!:)

SoonerInKCMO
7/26/2006, 09:16 PM
Which denomination really really hates tittay bars?

We still don't have an answer for this.

Name a denomination and I'll name a stripper that's a member. :texan:

Jerk
7/26/2006, 09:37 PM
This weekend I went to take my German Shepherd swimming with another young Shepherd at my dad's pool. There were 5 or 6 people there socializing at the pool and I had to walk "Brodee" down a flight of concrete stairs to get to the water. Anyway, "Brodee" weighs a hundred pounds and when he saw that other dog he started pulling real hard. I didn't want to let go of the leash because I didn't want a dog fight, but let me tell ya, Brodee had the upper hand because he has four legs and he's low to the ground. Pulled my fat a.ss right on over, down the stairs. Landed at the bottom, rolled around, got up without a scratch. A guy yelled "are you drunk?"

silverwheels
7/27/2006, 01:57 AM
One night a few weeks ago, I got hammered and fell off my friend's front porch, cutting open my right big toe, brusing my right knee on the sidewalk, and twisting my left ankle in the process. I was lucky only two of my friends saw it, but I was so drunk that I was laughing the whole time, so I guess it wasn't that embarrassing.

And one time I was playing pool at Coach's in Norman and I accidentally hit a woman at the bar in her *** with the end of my cue. That was embarrassing as hell. I actually blushed.

Joe
7/27/2006, 04:05 AM
Me and the wife visited the in-laws a year or two after we were married. On the first night there the superbowl was on (patriots-rams) so me and the fil watched it. He got his bottle of tequila down and we had a few shots. Well, everyone went to bed except me. I stayed up watching tv... and drunk the rest of his tequila. By the time I got up to go to bed I was pretty plastered.

Now I don't remember the rest of this, the wife had to fill me in on the details. I got up in the middle of the night knocking over the lamp and breaking a wicker rocker. And then I preceded to pull down my pants and take a big crap on their nice new carpet. To make things worse I tried to stand up with my pants around my knees and fell backwards out of the window. Of course this woke her two parents up, and everyone had to carry my comatose *** back into the bedroom.

I don't touch the hard stuff anymore.

BoogercountySooner
7/27/2006, 06:43 AM
Me and the wife visited the in-laws a year or two after we were married. On the first night there the superbowl was on (patriots-rams) so me and the fil watched it. He got his bottle of tequila down and we had a few shots. Well, everyone went to bed except me. I stayed up watching tv... and drunk the rest of his tequila. By the time I got up to go to bed I was pretty plastered.

Now I don't remember the rest of this, the wife had to fill me in on the details. I got up in the middle of the night knocking over the lamp and breaking a wicker rocker. And then I preceded to pull down my pants and take a big crap on their nice new carpet. To make things worse I tried to stand up with my pants around my knees and fell backwards out of the window. Of course this woke her two parents up, and everyone had to carry my comatose *** back into the bedroom.

I don't touch the hard stuff anymore.


I don't care who you are thats funny right there!:D

Chuck Bao
7/27/2006, 10:27 AM
I’ve got lots of most embarrassing stories.

I was a center on my junior high football team, but I could never remember the snap count in between the huddle and getting to the line and ready to snap the ball. I remember one time that we were penalized for offsides/motion about 10 times in a row because I couldn’t remember the snap count. The coach never got mad at me. He, apparently, was one of those about building sportsmanship and character coaches. He didn’t replace me. The quarterback got used to giving me the snap count before I was ready to snap it. Of course, the opposing defense also got it, which sort of defeated the whole purpose.

About 15 years ago I was supposed to give a speech at the QEII Centre in London. Except when I was ready to give my speech I couldn’t get my AV button to work. I don’t know why but it would only go in reverse instead of forward. I got so confused that I forgot what I was supposed to say. I got a good laugh from the couple of thousand conference delegates when I said I’d wing it. And then, I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to wing without my slide presentation.

About 10 years ago I was a host of another investment conference in Singapore. My job was to take care of the keynote speaker, a famous economist, who was given a suite in the adjacent hotel to the convention hall. When it came time for him to give his keynote address, I was supposed to go get him. Except, I forgot his room number. The hotel receptionist wouldn’t give it to me. I ran around several floors shouting the guy’s name out and it got really ugly until one of his staff came out of the room to ask why the delay.

Pricetag
7/27/2006, 11:16 AM
My wife and I went to see a late night showing of Fellowship of the Ring. As we were getting out of the car, we saw a young lady step off the curb and kinda stumble. My wife and I chuckled about it like folks are prone to do. A group of teenage boys on the sidewalk in front of the theater got a pretty decent laugh out of it. The girl had high heeled boots on, and I assumed that was what caused her the trouble.

My wife and I started from our car across the parking lot to the theater. We reached the same general area where the girl had stumbled. It was January, so it was cold, but there was no snow or ice. The next thing I knew, my feet had completely slid out from under me, leaving me completely helpless. The same thing had happened to my wife. In the split second that we were airborne, my mind desperately went through several scenarios where I might be able to recover or brace myself. Unfortunately, none of them were feasible, and gravity got the best of us.

It turns out that there was a thin, invisible layer of black ice in the lot after all.

The teenage boys who had seen the girl earlier couldn't handle this new development. They raised quite a ruckus laughing and such. My wife and I quickly ascertained that we were okay, and I quickly saw the humor of the situation, and approached said group of boys to share in the joke. They didn't understand my intention, though, and quickly scattered. I didn't get mad about them laughing at me until I was already in the theater.

Grimey
7/27/2006, 11:51 AM
I’ve got lots of most embarrassing stories.

I was a center on my junior high football team, but I could never remember the snap count in between the huddle and getting to the line and ready to snap the ball. I remember one time that we were penalized for offsides/motion about 10 times in a row because I couldn’t remember the snap count. The coach never got mad at me. He, apparently, was one of those about building sportsmanship and character coaches. He didn’t replace me. The quarterback got used to giving me the snap count before I was ready to snap it. Of course, the opposing defense also got it, which sort of defeated the whole purpose.

About 15 years ago I was supposed to give a speech at the QEII Centre in London. Except when I was ready to give my speech I couldn’t get my AV button to work. I don’t know why but it would only go in reverse instead of forward. I got so confused that I forgot what I was supposed to say. I got a good laugh from the couple of thousand conference delegates when I said I’d wing it. And then, I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to wing without my slide presentation.

About 10 years ago I was a host of another investment conference in Singapore. My job was to take care of the keynote speaker, a famous economist, who was given a suite in the adjacent hotel to the convention hall. When it came time for him to give his keynote address, I was supposed to go get him. Except, I forgot his room number. The hotel receptionist wouldn’t give it to me. I ran around several floors shouting the guy’s name out and it got really ugly until one of his staff came out of the room to ask why the delay.

http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/7857/shorttermop2.png (http://imageshack.us)

Condescending Sooner
7/27/2006, 12:59 PM
In high school I discovered I could dunk it if I sprayed about half a can of stick-em on my hands. The hottest girl in school was looking through the window of the gym before practice. I decided it was the perfect time to impress her with my leaping ability which would inevitably lead to her begging me for sex. On the dunk, I tried to add a little flair by pulling on the rim, but the result was my feet going out from under me. I landed on the gym floor in a completely horizontal position. I also bounced my head off the floor, which foreseeably resulted in some severe grogginess. All I wanted to do was get back into the locker room but didn't move too fast because I was running kind of sideways. She did not end up begging me for sex.

walkoffsooner
7/27/2006, 01:14 PM
i heard are sports rivals in the next town where havin a haunted house to raise money. And one of there studs raised up out of a coffin during show. We went over there to knock him out when he raised up. They had changed and it was there high school principle that got punched. Missed two games on that one.

ultimatesooner1
7/27/2006, 01:53 PM
Me and the wife visited the in-laws a year or two after we were married. On the first night there the superbowl was on (patriots-rams) so me and the fil watched it. He got his bottle of tequila down and we had a few shots. Well, everyone went to bed except me. I stayed up watching tv... and drunk the rest of his tequila. By the time I got up to go to bed I was pretty plastered.

Now I don't remember the rest of this, the wife had to fill me in on the details. I got up in the middle of the night knocking over the lamp and breaking a wicker rocker. And then I preceded to pull down my pants and take a big crap on their nice new carpet. To make things worse I tried to stand up with my pants around my knees and fell backwards out of the window. Of course this woke her two parents up, and everyone had to carry my comatose *** back into the bedroom.

I don't touch the hard stuff anymore.


thats awesome

NormanPride
7/27/2006, 02:14 PM
I must have been 13 or so, and I was visiting my Aunt, Uncle, and their two daughters in South Carolina. It was the older cousin's 21st b-day so we went out to a nice seafood place for dinner, the type with a lot of decorations and **** all over the walls. Nice paintings, rope, portholes, the whole nine yards.

Anyway, I was a very trusting kid. My parents had never made me do stupid things (that I can remember) and they always taught me the right path to travel. So my dad and I are talking, while the rest of the table engaged in small-talk. My father had notices a small tub of butter in the middle of the table, and pushed it towards me, saying "How do you use this?" I, being a smart lad, gave him an 'are you joking?' look and started for the plastic tear-off part on one of the corners. "No, silly. That's not how you do it."

So my father, in his infinite wisdom, takes the butter tub, turns it upside down and places it in front of me. I was perplexed. "Ninjas use their heads. They hit the butter with their heads and it goes onto their bread."

I had no bread. I was not a ninja. Ninjas, needless to say, DO NOT DO THIS (AFAIK). But I trusted my father, and with a swift motion any ninja would be proud of, I placed a perfect head-butt on the bottom of the butter tub. Pulling my head up to receive praise from my father, I faced an entire restaurant in stunned silence. My cousin, whose 21st birthday we were celebrating, had butter all over her. My Aunt. The wall. The paintings. The decorations. Covered in butter. How there was this much butter in the tub I have no idea, but nevertheless, it was everywhere but in the container.

For what seemed like forever we sat in shocked silence while my dad pretended not to be dying of laughter. As many a sheltered youth does in this situation, I thought I was going to die. Luckily, the entire room erupted in laughter, and my sentence was stayed. I don't think my face has ever been that red since. :D

Grimey
7/27/2006, 02:36 PM
I must have been 13 or so, and I was visiting my Aunt, Uncle, and their two daughters in South Carolina. It was the older cousin's 21st b-day so we went out to a nice seafood place for dinner, the type with a lot of decorations and **** all over the walls. Nice paintings, rope, portholes, the whole nine yards.

Anyway, I was a very trusting kid. My parents had never made me do stupid things (that I can remember) and they always taught me the right path to travel. So my dad and I are talking, while the rest of the table engaged in small-talk. My father had notices a small tub of butter in the middle of the table, and pushed it towards me, saying "How do you use this?" I, being a smart lad, gave him an 'are you joking?' look and started for the plastic tear-off part on one of the corners. "No, silly. That's not how you do it."

So my father, in his infinite wisdom, takes the butter tub, turns it upside down and places it in front of me. I was perplexed. "Ninjas use their heads. They hit the butter with their heads and it goes onto their bread."

I had no bread. I was not a ninja. Ninjas, needless to say, DO NOT DO THIS (AFAIK). But I trusted my father, and with a swift motion any ninja would be proud of, I placed a perfect head-butt on the bottom of the butter tub. Pulling my head up to receive praise from my father, I faced an entire restaurant in stunned silence. My cousin, whose 21st birthday we were celebrating, had butter all over her. My Aunt. The wall. The paintings. The decorations. Covered in butter. How there was this much butter in the tub I have no idea, but nevertheless, it was everywhere but in the container.

For what seemed like forever we sat in shocked silence while my dad pretended not to be dying of laughter. As many a sheltered youth does in this situation, I thought I was going to die. Luckily, the entire room erupted in laughter, and my sentence was stayed. I don't think my face has ever been that red since. :D

I would think your Mom would be giving your Dad dagger stares. He should have been as embarassed as you.

NormanPride
7/27/2006, 02:42 PM
I would think your Mom would be giving your Dad dagger stares. He should have been as embarassed as you.

My mom has no room to talk. She chased the Uncle around the same cousin's wedding reception trying to put ice down his pants. :eek:

Long story. :D

OCUDad
7/27/2006, 02:57 PM
High school. Assembly in the gym. I was called up on stage to accept some sort of certificate (I forget exactly what). Three steps - only three - to the stage. At the second step, I turned to smile charmingly at our hawt exchange student from Sweden who was sitting onstage. Missed step #3 completely, did a faceplant in front of the entire student body. My reputation was assured from then on. :(

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." --Mark Twain

Grimey
7/27/2006, 03:35 PM
:O
High school. Assembly in the gym. I was called up on stage to accept some sort of certificate (I forget exactly what). Three steps - only three - to the stage. At the second step, I turned to smile charmingly at our hawt exchange student from Sweden who was sitting onstage. Missed step #3 completely, did a faceplant in front of the entire student body. My reputation was assured from then on. :(

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." --Mark Twain

That reminds me of one. And I promise it wasn't me!

There was an awards ceremony at our school ( I think Jr High), and it was like a big deal. You got an invitation for you and your family, and you dressed up and it was in the auditorium. The thing is, they didnt tell you what award you were getting. I got something like best at Algebra, or something along those lines. Anyway, this one guy is there, and it ends up he got Best behaved on the Bus. I actually felt really bad for him

MamaMia
7/27/2006, 03:57 PM
My mom has no room to talk. She chased the Uncle around the same cousin's wedding reception trying to put ice down his pants. :eek:

Long story. :DI would love to attend one of your family members weddings, just as a spectator. :D

NormanPride
7/27/2006, 04:26 PM
I would love to attend one of your family members weddings, just as a spectator. :D

Heh. You could crash mine and probably see a few funny things. Though I imagine my parents will try and keep the hijinks to a minimum since badger's parents are a lot quieter. :D

OUstud
7/27/2006, 06:09 PM
When I was 2 (probably more embarrassing for my mom), we were at the store, and this fat lady walks up. According to her, I blurt "That lady's got a baby in her tummy!" My mom looks at her, embarrassed, but hey, I was 2, what was she going to do. Apparently I figured mom hadn't heard me, so again I blurted that out. I'm sure it was an awkward situation after that.

Then, when I was about 8 and in the middle stages of learning swear words, my mom and I were at Long John Silver's and I leaned over and asked "mom, what does the 'n' word mean?" Totally oblivious to the black couple sitting at a nearby table, who got up and left.

Rogue
7/30/2006, 02:38 PM
Musta been the summer after 7th grade. My grandpa "Poppie" raised and raced quarter horses so we spent lots of weekends at the track. SE Idaho can be hot and dusty in the summer so I'm wearing shorts. I'm there with him as one of his handy stable-bums. Well my older cousin who is a jockey brings his wife, her sister and some of her friends. These younger girls were my age and a year behind me in school at another Jr High across town (we were all later good friends). So I'm pretty much trying to impress them and learning to be cool instead of such a spaz. I'm sitting around after the races with a couple of jockeys and "Poppie". I'm sitting on an upside down watering bucket. The girls are hanging around within earshot, obviously impressed with my status among the older guys when my old Italian grandpa loudly announces, "One of your balls is hanging out of your shorts, son!"

Poppie - 1
Rogue - 0

85Sooner
7/30/2006, 03:03 PM
When I was a teenager, my girlfriend was going on a trip to New York. An airport employee commented on how heavy her bag was. Being the smartbutt I am, I felt obligated to make a joke out of it. I started to say she had a microwave in the bag, and in a sudden burst of thought I figured that would be illegal so the word "bomb" popped out instead. Stupid stupid stupid.


Why does this not surprise me.:)

BoogercountySooner
7/30/2006, 03:30 PM
when my old Italian grandpa loudly announces, "One of your balls is hanging out of my shorts, son!"

Poppie - 1
Rogue - 0

AAAAA Ok Your's outa his:eek: :eek: ;)

Rogue
7/30/2006, 08:29 PM
Fixed.

Mongo
7/30/2006, 09:34 PM
I was teaching at the time of courting my future wife, and had to eat cafeteria food for lunch one day. That afternoon I had to stay late coaching track, then headed over to her house to pick her up for our planned date. We went to Pearl's on I-240. I love oysters on the half shell. Had me a half dozen with my entree. About halfway through the meal my stomach was churning. She even heard my stomach rumble. We were walking to my truck in the parking lot, when I thought I would use the smooth guy trick. I was being romantic and opened the door for her. I proceeded to walk around the back of the truck letting loose what I thought to be a gigantic fart. I was wrong. I crapped my pants with furious anger. I jumped into the truck and the future Mrs. Mongo asked what stank. I was semi-honest and told her I farted. Then I told her that I wasnt feeling OK and was ready to drop her off at home. For about fifteen miles I had to tell her that I was farting constantly to cover up the smell of wet dung in my pants. To this day, she thinks that was the truth.

critical_phil
7/30/2006, 10:01 PM
without going into elaborate stories:



1. the simultaneous sneeze-fart + date + movie theater

2. 30 pack of beer + 1/5 stoli's + wedding reception + golf cart



at least i've never **** my pants

Mongo
7/30/2006, 10:14 PM
at least i've never **** my pants

Yeah right. Everyone has a story how they crapped themselves. You mean to tell the SO that you never thought you were over a case a of the trots and tried a "tester" fart and gooed your pants? Everyone has done that, and if you say you havent, you're fibbin'.

critical_phil
7/30/2006, 10:15 PM
on a stack of bibles, and may god strike me dead if i'm lying, i swear i have never, ever, ever sh!t my pan...........

soonerboomer93
7/30/2006, 11:55 PM
Me and the wife visited the in-laws a year or two after we were married. On the first night there the superbowl was on (patriots-rams) so me and the fil watched it. He got his bottle of tequila down and we had a few shots. Well, everyone went to bed except me. I stayed up watching tv... and drunk the rest of his tequila. By the time I got up to go to bed I was pretty plastered.

Now I don't remember the rest of this, the wife had to fill me in on the details. I got up in the middle of the night knocking over the lamp and breaking a wicker rocker. And then I preceded to pull down my pants and take a big crap on their nice new carpet. To make things worse I tried to stand up with my pants around my knees and fell backwards out of the window. Of course this woke her two parents up, and everyone had to carry my comatose *** back into the bedroom.

I don't touch the hard stuff anymore.

You and 1tc could be great friends

soonerboomer93
7/31/2006, 12:07 AM
oh, i spek every **** my pants story, i can't help it

pb4ou
7/31/2006, 12:18 AM
This could be gross for those with weak stomachs. But I was 13 when I got my first kiss. Being a PK, I'll admit that I was pretty sheltered at the time. I had heard of french kissing but had never seen it.
My dad was a chaplain of the hospital in Bristow and my gf (first gf) and I were sitting under the trees out on the hospital grounds. I had mentioned to her that I had never been kissed before and she layed one on me, tounge and all. :D

Not quite was I was expecting. I pushed her away and my stomach started queasily grumbling and then, of course, blah. (Not on her thank God, or me.)
Fortunately this did not end our relationship but she did use it against me by saying, "I know how to make you nervous" if I didn't do what she wanted.
And my stomach would just quiver.

olevetonahill
7/31/2006, 12:38 AM
This could be gross for those with weak stomachs. But I was 13 when I got my first kiss. Being a PK, I'll admit that I was pretty sheltered at the time. I had heard of french kissing but had never seen it.
My dad was a chaplain of the hospital in Bristow and my gf (first gf) and I were sitting under the trees out on the hospital grounds. I had mentioned to her that I had never been kissed before and she layed one on me, tounge and all. :D

Not quite was I was expecting. I pushed her away and my stomach started queasily grumbling and then, of course, blah. (Not on her thank God, or me.)
Fortunately this did not end our relationship but she did use it against me by saying, "I know how to make you nervous" if I didn't do what she wanted.
And my **** would just quiver.

Fixed :D

pb4ou
7/31/2006, 12:50 AM
Fixed :D

:mad:





;)

olevetonahill
7/31/2006, 12:52 AM
:mad:





;)
:D :D :D :D