View Full Version : The Aristocrats
DCSooner
7/27/2005, 05:09 PM
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
Anyone seen or heard the variations of these jokes? I just heard about the movie coming out (The Aristocrats). I thought it would fit in with the way the SO is going today.
OUAndy1807
7/27/2005, 05:15 PM
I am glad I searched for this before posting. I can't wait to see this movie
http://www.thearistocrats.com/
Bob Saget has the nastiest version.
OUAndy1807
7/27/2005, 05:17 PM
and by the way, it's not rated, because it is so offensive that based only on the language (no nudity or violence), it would have gotten an NC-17 rating. They say that if you have EVER been offended by a word, don't go see it.
OUAndy1807
7/27/2005, 05:27 PM
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/the_aristocrats.html
OUAndy1807
7/27/2005, 05:55 PM
http://www.somefoolwitha.com/2004/06/09/the-aristocrats-south-park/
definitely not safe for anyone who is offended even semi-easily. I would recommend that you not click the above link.
1stTimeCaller
7/27/2005, 06:07 PM
that is the most f*cked up thing I have ever heard. I'm still laughing in bewilderment.
Hatfield
7/27/2005, 06:13 PM
saw cartman do this joke the other day. i was scared.
yermom
7/27/2005, 06:13 PM
so wtf is the movie about? and i'm gonna have to see this at The Magnolia in Dallas i would imagine...
OUAndy1807
7/27/2005, 07:46 PM
apparently that "joke" used to be passed down from comic to comic back in the vaudville days. It started because the old guys would tell it to the young guys and see if they would laugh, even though it wasn't really a joke. The beginning and end are always the same, but every comic tries to make the middle section as sick and twisted as possible.
The movie is a documentary about the joke, but also has famous comics do their renditions (about 100 comics, I believe). Apparently that South Park version is not even in the top ten of most offensive. Bob Saget's is supposed to be the worst.
yermom
7/27/2005, 07:54 PM
yeah, it's hilarious to hear him talk with a potty mouth after all those years on Full House
he probably feels like he has to overcompensate for it :D
OUAndy1807
7/27/2005, 07:58 PM
yeah, do a google search. There is a site called dead frog where you can submit your own version and they are rated. That site is so bad, I don't want to link to it here.
SoonerAtKU
7/27/2005, 08:48 PM
I can't wait for this. August, and only in one theater in the KC area, I believe.
SoonerAtKU
7/27/2005, 10:17 PM
Yup, only at the Tivoli.
NYSooner1355
7/27/2005, 10:21 PM
apparently that "joke" used to be passed down from comic to comic back in the vaudville days. It started because the old guys would tell it to the young guys and see if they would laugh, even though it wasn't really a joke. The beginning and end are always the same, but every comic tries to make the middle section as sick and twisted as possible.
The movie is a documentary about the joke, but also has famous comics do their renditions (about 100 comics, I believe). Apparently that South Park version is not even in the top ten of most offensive. Bob Saget's is supposed to be the worst.
there was a big article in Newsday about this movie, it said that Gilbert Gotfried version was the most offensive...not sure...I was wanting to see it, but if all it is is stupid versions of that "joke" I wouldn't waste my $10...
supposedly the original Gilbert Gotfried version was 25 minutes long, but they ended up cutting it and using a version he told at Hugh Hefner's roast...
jk the sooner fan
7/27/2005, 10:40 PM
umm, yeah no thanks.......
perhaps i'll rent the Aristocats instead......
Soonrboy
7/27/2005, 10:50 PM
everyone loves zsa zsa
fesperman58
7/29/2005, 09:07 AM
there was a big article in Newsday about this movie, it said that Gilbert Gotfried version was the most offensive...not sure...I was wanting to see it, but if all it is is stupid versions of that "joke" I wouldn't waste my $10...
supposedly the original Gilbert Gotfried version was 25 minutes long, but they ended up cutting it and using a version he told at Hugh Hefner's roast...
Worse than the South Park Version? :eek:
Oldnslo
7/29/2005, 10:08 AM
I have GOT to get that movie!
It's in my netflix queue.
OUAndy1807
7/29/2005, 12:31 PM
you're going to be disappointed when Aristocats shows up.
Grimey
7/29/2005, 03:13 PM
Bob Saget's is supposed to be the worst.
yeah, it's hilarious to hear him talk with a potty mouth after all those years on Full House
he probably feels like he has to overcompensate for it :D
Bob Saget's act at one time included of the most tasteless jokes I have ever heard. I don't even want to repeat it, but it made a joke about him being a pedophile. And no, it had nothing to do with the Olsen twins
yermom
8/13/2005, 07:54 PM
bump for :dolemite:
proud gonzo
8/13/2005, 11:34 PM
supposedly the south park one isn't close to being the worst... or so i've heard.
OUAndy1807
8/14/2005, 05:51 PM
Where did you hear that, PG?
Apparently that South Park version is not even in the top ten of most offensive. Bob Saget's is supposed to be the worst.
;)
JohnnyMack
8/14/2005, 05:58 PM
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/6305784116.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
KC//CRIMSON
8/25/2005, 06:41 PM
I know where I'll be tomorrow night around nine thirty-ish. :D
http://www.tivolikc.com/
proud gonzo
8/25/2005, 07:11 PM
Where did you hear that, PG?
;)
http://www.lnreview.co.uk/media/journal/001842.php
Each performs their own take on "The Aristocrats" for the cameras: an email from Penn Jillette to those sites who received the leaked South Park clip explaining: "[i]t's 100 comedians telling the same dirty filthy [expletives omitted] joke over and over. This South Park clip is not even in the top 5 for dirtiest."
KC//CRIMSON
8/25/2005, 07:19 PM
I have a friend who does stand up part time, and he went to a special sneak preview and said it was hilarious. Said Bob Sagat was really nasty and Sarah Silverman had one of the best versions....
KC//CRIMSON
8/27/2005, 07:31 PM
Update:
Finally got out and saw this movie. Well I shouldn't say finally, since tonight was it's opening night here in KC. The film's editor Emery Emery was there and gave a quick run down before the show opened. It went a little something like this:
Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the KC premier of the Aristocrats! I have a question! Are you easily offended? If so, you need to go back down stairs and read the warning message posted in front of the ticket office. Because this film is F-ING Dirty! I mean it's F-ING vile! It's so F-ING dirty it has been labeled the most distgusting, vile, wreched, movie you have ever F-ING seen!
Eh, it wasn't that bad. But it had it's moments I must say. Surprisingly the the theater was about 85% full which really took me back considering the movies reputation and that it was a 9:30pm showing. Yeah! Way to go Mid-West!
Anywhoo, on with the show. Very funny. I mean really funny. Good stuff. The comedians really do a great job of explaining the history of the joke. Where it started, how it has changed, the challenge of telling it, the challenge of women telling it, etc.... very good.
Highlights:
Kevin Pollock - imitating Christopher Walken telling the joke is priceless.
Sarah Silverman - is out of this world hilarious. I don't know how this woman isn't a huge star already. Must be the fact she's still banging Jimmy Kimmell.
Dana Gould - I wonderd where this guy went? He used to be a well known comic and even had a few HBO specials. VERY FUNNY.
There was one comedian who completely stole the show and damn it to hell I can't remember his name, but he did a bit imitating Liza Minelli telling the joke. I would pay full price again just to see him do that bit again. Crap! I can't remember his name.
Bob Sagat - Did not have the worst joke and he was actually one of the funniest one's. I would say the South Park and some pregnant chick had the worst versions.
I'm giving this film two giant thumbs up!
I know where I'll be tomorrow night around nine thirty-ish. :D
http://www.tivolikc.com/This is exactly where I'm going to be tonight around 7:25-ish. Oh, man...that's only an hour away...better get in the shower! :D
KC//CRIMSON
8/30/2005, 04:37 PM
There was one comedian who completely stole the show and damn it to hell I can't remember his name, but he did a bit imitating Liza Minelli telling the joke. I would pay full price again just to see him do that bit again. Crap! I can't remember his name.
For those that we're just dying to know:Dit was Mario Cantone. He stole the show IMO.
skycat
8/30/2005, 05:19 PM
I saw this last Friday.
Was I the only one that didn't know that mime's could work blue?
yermom
8/30/2005, 05:26 PM
so is there going to be a wide release of this? or just one-offs?
I loved the card trick one.
SoonerAtKU
8/31/2005, 09:15 AM
Most theater chains won't show it. I know AMC has refused, so it's currently limited to privately owned theaters.
KC//CRIMSON
8/31/2005, 09:27 AM
so is there going to be a wide release of this? or just one-offs?
It looks like it is going to start in Tulsa on Friday
9/2/2005 Tulsa Circle Cinemas2
No scheduled showings as of yet for Oklahoma City.
KC//CRIMSON
9/2/2005, 08:39 AM
Open's in Tulsa today. I believe this is the only place in Oklahoma that is going to show it.
Circle Cinema
THE ARISTOCRATS
September 2 - 8
Friday & Saturday 4, 6 & 8pm
Celebrity Panel after Friday 6pm show
Sun 4 & 6pm, Mon 2, 4 & 7pm
Tues & Wed 4 & 7pm, Thurs 1, 4 & 7pm
I laughed more during this movie than any I can think of in a long while.
King Crimson
7/24/2006, 01:44 PM
i've seen it. pretty funny.
yermom
7/24/2006, 01:53 PM
i don't know if the website and trailers/soundboard ruined it, or what but i was not really impressed when i actually watched it
Vaevictis
7/24/2006, 02:08 PM
Truthfully, I'm just waiting for some *really* intrepid comedian to go out, hire an appropriate ensemble (sans kids, plus midgets and amputees), and actually do the act.
I wouldn't want to see it, but sooner or later, you just know someone will do it.
Truthfully, I'm just waiting for some *really* intrepid comedian to go out, hire an appropriate ensemble (sans kids, plus midgets and amputees), and actually do the act.
I wouldn't want to see it, but sooner or later, you just know someone will do it.
I've seen acts not far removed from that in places like Juarez and Amsterdam.:eek:
KC//CRIMSON
2/8/2008, 02:06 AM
There was one comedian who completely stole the show and damn it to hell I can't remember his name, but he did a bit imitating Liza Minelli telling the joke. I would pay full price again just to see him do that bit again. Crap! I can't remember his name.
Great, I just quoted myself. Anywhoo, this is the guy. He does a brilliant spot on impersonation. KILLS me every time.:D
Mario Cantone as Liza Minelli telling the Aristocrats joke - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcTDOotI0fk
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