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Norm In Norman
7/21/2005, 10:21 PM
I am now on a quest. I have heard 3 people at the zoo say that the otters are a hoot. Today is the 4th time I have tried to see the otters since memorial day and today is the 4th time I've walked my *** all the way over there in the friggin' heat and they were cleaning the cage. It's really pretty far over there too. From what I can tell, all morning every day they are getting their cage cleaned. I'm thinking about making a trip up there tomorrow afternoon just to look at the otters and drive back. I imagine I would get the same results though.

God plays horrible tricks on me. I hope I am quite entertaining.

OUinFLA
7/21/2005, 10:24 PM
God plays horrible tricks on me. I hope I am quite entertaining.

Do you get more visitors than the otters?

Czar Soonerov
7/21/2005, 10:24 PM
http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&c2coff=1&safe=off&q=otters

Okla-homey
7/21/2005, 10:25 PM
I am now on a quest. I have heard 3 people at the zoo say that the otters are a hoot. Today is the 4th time I have tried to see the otters since memorial day and today is the 4th time I've walked my *** all the way over there in the friggin' heat and they were cleaning the cage. It's really pretty far over there too. From what I can tell, all morning every day they are getting their cage cleaned. I'm thinking about making a trip up there tomorrow afternoon just to look at the otters and drive back. I imagine I would get the same results though.

God plays horrible tricks on me. I hope I am quite entertaining.

They're just wet ferrets for goshsakes. Go to the pet store and ask 'em to toss one into one of the aquariums for you.

You're welcome.

Speaking of ferrets, I bet PG is having fun in Hy-why-er about now. Ten days with her boyfriend's folks picking up the tab. Beyonce!

Soonrboy
7/21/2005, 10:35 PM
we have otters? maybe they said daughters.

Norm In Norman
7/21/2005, 10:35 PM
Well yeah. I could proabably type any animal into GIS and get a picture of one. And for that matter, a tiger is just a really fat house cat too. But that kinda goes against the whole idea of going to the zoo now, doesn't it.

Okla-homey
7/21/2005, 10:46 PM
Well yeah. I could proabably type any animal into GIS and get a picture of one. And for that matter, a tiger is just a really fat house cat too. But that kinda goes against the whole idea of going to the zoo now, doesn't it.

Sure, go ahead and be all concrete and objective and stuff. Didn't you ever go to "Story Hour" in the children's section of your public library when you were a kid? That library lady taught all us little hillbillies that we could take wonderful trips anywhere we could imagine just by reading a book and using our imaginations.

Of course, this was the Ardmore Public Library and my cousin Rodney decided a couple summers later that he could take much better trips huffing spraypaint and drinking Lavoris mouthwash.

But I digress. Use your mind Norm. Those otters are there for you to see!

GottaHavePride
7/21/2005, 11:19 PM
Speaking of ferrets, I bet PG is having fun in Hy-why-er about now. Ten days with her boyfriend's folks picking up the tab. Beyonce!
Ha.

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 05:23 AM
I hope I am quite entertaining.

Most of the time, yes...lately, not so much. Your comedic timing needs some work.

crawfish
7/22/2005, 07:15 AM
we have otters? maybe they said daughters.

You otter be ashamed.

OU Adonis
7/22/2005, 07:18 AM
http://www.filmwise.com/contests/contest_07/image_14a.jpg

Sooner_Bob
7/22/2005, 07:19 AM
You otter be ashamed.


Oh no you dient . . .

crawfish
7/22/2005, 07:21 AM
Oh no you dient . . .

I'm trying to draw howzit out. :D

Sooner_Bob
7/22/2005, 07:25 AM
just post something nasty about an elf . . . doesn't that usually work? :P

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 07:26 AM
I'm trying to draw howzit out. :D


of the closet.

crawfish
7/22/2005, 07:45 AM
of the closet.

He was in one?

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 08:02 AM
yours.

Widescreen
7/22/2005, 08:04 AM
Isn't this whole otter problem just more Luck of the Norm?

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 08:39 AM
It's God's way of getting your butt outta your chair and getting some fresh air, sun and exercise.

Well that, and he needs a good laugh just like everybody else......

BlondeSoonerGirl
7/22/2005, 08:42 AM
They're funny as hell, Norm. Kinda like raccoons that swim...

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 08:48 AM
They're funny as hell, Norm. Kinda like raccoons that swim...

Oh you had to go mention coons huh? I had 8 of them (couple of adults with half-grown babies) night before last scurrying their wicked little asses up the hill in front of my house. I managed to kill 3 of them before they got into the woods. If you've got a garden, coons are the debil. I've tried triple hot wires, different fences, etc. but they always manage to figure it out. I set my traps and I hope to catch the rest of the larcenous little bastages by this weekend. Man, I hate me a coon.

BlondeSoonerGirl
7/22/2005, 08:51 AM
I started feeding one about a month ago in the back of our property.

Big, big mistake.

Huge.

:les: HUGE MISTAKE.

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 08:59 AM
Man, I hate me a coon.

I didn't like SoonerWill either after I found out.

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 09:00 AM
They're funny as hell, Norm. Kinda like raccoons that swim...

swimming racoons, that's just crazy talk.

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 09:06 AM
I started feeding one about a month ago in the back of our property.

Big, big mistake.

Huge.

:les: HUGE MISTAKE.

Yeah, they're so cute.................when they're belly up with their evil little tongue hanging out.

Quick story:

Our very first Colorado elk hunt (well with the group I go with now anyhow) was 8 years ago this coming fall. My brother knew a guy who had a cabin up by Granby/Grand Lake, and he offered it to us. No bathroom (there was an outhouse about 100 feet out back).

The cabin has a screened porch that was brand new. We put all our gear and ice chests, etc. on the porch. The very first night, being very good hunters, we drank our weight in beer and Jack. Anyhow, it's about 3 am, and homey has to pee. As I'm getting up, I hear all kinds of scraping noises coming from the porch. I go out there, but can't really see anything in the dark. So, I open the screen door and start peeing. It's like 8 degrees, so I'm in a pretty big hurry.

About midway through, there's this huge CRASH! right behind me. I jump about 3 feet, **** all over my feet, legs, hand, and the floor. I run inside and grab a flashlight and my .357. I turn it on, and this coon, the size of a freaking german shepherd, has knocked the top ice chest off the stack, opened it, and was stuffing his fat face on cabbage rolls, chicken/brocolli/curry casserole, and zuchini bread. Eggs were broke all over the floor, he had cookies, bread, and buns all scattered everywhere, and he's just sitting there looking at me as he chows down on a weeks worth of hunting grub.

I'm thinking "do I shoot the little ****er in here, or get him outside first?" Since I didn't know the guy who owned the cabin I decided to get him outside. He wouldn't go. He had no fear whatsoever. So, I looked the little varmint dead in the eye and said "goodnight you little ****" and drilled him betwixt his beady little eyes.

Have you ever shot a .357 in a semi-closed area? My freaking ears rung for 2 weeks. The funny thing was that nobody else woke up. The next morning, I thought I head dreamt it, so I go out there and sure enough, all our food is ruined and there's a big, dead coon laying there with curry, brocolli, and crumbs all over his face. We moved a firewood rack a foot or so over to cover the damage to the floor of the porch.

It was the only animal 4 of us bagged that season.

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 09:07 AM
Oh you had to go mention coons huh? I had 8 of them (couple of adults with half-grown babies) night before last scurrying their wicked little asses up the hill in front of my house. I managed to kill 3 of them before they got into the woods. If you've got a garden, coons are the debil. I've tried triple hot wires, different fences, etc. but they always manage to figure it out. I set my traps and I hope to catch the rest of the larcenous little bastages by this weekend. Man, I hate me a coon.

I had 3 (1 momma 2 kids) on my porch the other night.....wasn't fast enough with my shotgun.......next day our rooster was found dead by my wife.....whatever it was dug under the fence in the pen and got him.....

Mjcpr
7/22/2005, 09:08 AM
I had 3 (1 momma 2 kids) on my porch the other night.....wasn't fast enough with my shotgun.......next day our rooster was found dead by my wife.....whatever it was dug under the fence in the pen and got him.....
Sorry to hear about your ****, IB4.

BlondeSoonerGirl
7/22/2005, 09:13 AM
I threw some leftover corn on the cob out there for it about three weeks ago. It was so cute to watch him sit there and eat it with his cute little human-like hands.

So then I fed him some cat food. He sure did like that, too.

Now that bastard's getting in my plum trees to eat the plums, he's squeezing himself inside the cat door to get into the garage where I keep the cat food, he's scratching at the door that goes into the house because he smells other food - it's crazy.

He's also bringing family members with him now.

I messed up. Bad.

But he was so cute...

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 09:17 AM
Sorry to hear about your ****, IB4.

'preciate your concern buddy............but I'm not sure if it was the coons or one the damn foxes that run around here.....wev'e got bobcats too....

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 09:19 AM
I threw some leftover corn on the cob out there for it about three weeks ago. It was so cute to watch him sit there and eat it with his cute little human-like hands.

So then I fed him some cat food. He sure did like that, too.

Now that bastard's getting in my plum trees to eat the plums, he's squeezing himself inside the cat door to get into the garage where I keep the cat food, he's scratching at the door that goes into the house because he smells other food - it's crazy.

He's also bringing family members with him now.

I messed up. Bad.

But he was so cute...

Call Dean......he'll help......you can get him taxidermied and he'll be cute forever.....

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 09:19 AM
anti-freeze.....

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 09:21 AM
anti-freeze.....

too cruel.....killem' quick....

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 09:21 AM
I threw some leftover corn on the cob out there for it about three weeks ago. It was so cute to watch him sit there and eat it with his cute little human-like hands.

So then I fed him some cat food. He sure did like that, too.

Now that bastard's getting in my plum trees to eat the plums, he's squeezing himself inside the cat door to get into the garage where I keep the cat food, he's scratching at the door that goes into the house because he smells other food - it's crazy.

He's also bringing family members with him now.

I messed up. Bad.

But he was so cute...

I'd be happy to loan you a trap. It's one of those "humane traps" that catches them real nice. And a .22 fits perfectly between the wire squares. You just press it up against their head, and it sounds like a mafia hit. pffft. No more coon. Then, you dump his carcass on whatever neighbor's lawn you hate the most.

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 09:23 AM
anti freeze dammit.

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 09:27 AM
No anti-freeze. Why waste perfectly good coolant on a damned coon?

My neighbor (who has a 10-acre watermelon patch) knocks a hole in the end of an egg, injects some poison (he won't tell me what, but I think it's strychnine cause it kills em' dead, right now) and seals the eggs with candle wax. He lays them all around his melon patch. Every morning he's carrying off crows, possums, and skunks. But the coons are just too smart. For whatever reason, they know better. I wonder if seeing a bunch of dead crows/skunks/possums might just tip em' off.

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 09:29 AM
anti freeze dammit.

Dangit! to cruel, trapem' then shoot em' or just shoot em....

OUDoc
7/22/2005, 09:33 AM
Damn raccoons.:mad:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0002S64VO.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Mjcpr
7/22/2005, 09:34 AM
Beavers are cute too.

OU4LIFE
7/22/2005, 09:35 AM
screw cruel. Why waste shotgun pellets on them, just beat them with a seal club.

Howzit
7/22/2005, 02:23 PM
I think Norm misunderstood. They really said utters are a hooter.

crawfish
7/22/2005, 02:27 PM
No anti-freeze. Why waste perfectly good coolant on a damned coon?

My neighbor (who has a 10-acre watermelon patch) knocks a hole in the end of an egg, injects some poison (he won't tell me what, but I think it's strychnine cause it kills em' dead, right now) and seals the eggs with candle wax. He lays them all around his melon patch. Every morning he's carrying off crows, possums, and skunks. But the coons are just too smart. For whatever reason, they know better. I wonder if seeing a bunch of dead crows/skunks/possums might just tip em' off.

Out camping in east Texas, we saw a coon that not only unlatched our cooler and took two eggs out, but closed and latched it back up when it was done.

I was impressed.

Mjcpr
7/22/2005, 02:28 PM
Out camping in east Texas, we saw a coon that not only unlatched our cooler and took two eggs out, but closed and latched it back up when it was done.

I was impressed.
Did the walls of your tent melt too?

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 02:32 PM
Out camping in east Texas, we saw a coon that not only unlatched our cooler and took two eggs out, but closed and latched it back up when it was done.

I was impressed.

Shrooms huh? Psychedelic baby.

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 02:40 PM
Out camping in east Texas, we saw a coon that not only unlatched our cooler and took two eggs out, but closed and latched it back up when it was done.

I was impressed.

He did'nt leave a note.....damn Texas coons......

OU Adonis
7/22/2005, 03:03 PM
I have fed a beaver or two in my time. Never an otter though.

Soonrboy
7/22/2005, 03:06 PM
Dean, was it your neighbor you had to chase the coons out of her attic for her? or was it a possum? Surely, it wasn't a beaver.

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 03:09 PM
Dean, was it your neighbor you had to chase the coons out of her attic for her? or was it a possum? Surely, it wasn't a beaver.

Ms. Webb, and it was a possum. Since that story, I've had to go trap a couple more for her. She feeds a damn cat in her garage and doesn't understand why she's got possums in there. I've caught her cat 2-3 times in the trap. I oughta just possumize it. She'd never know....

SelmaBamaFan
7/22/2005, 03:11 PM
Dean, was it your neighbor you had to chase the coons out of her attic for her? or was it a possum? Surely, it wasn't a beaver.



I've been chasing beavers all my life, but not in an attic.

Soonrboy
7/22/2005, 03:13 PM
Ms. Webb, and it was a possum. Since that story, I've had to go trap a couple more for her. She feeds a damn cat in her garage and doesn't understand why she's got possums in there. I've caught her cat 2-3 times in the trap. I oughta just possumize it. She'd never know....

Okay, I'll bite...

Possumize?

BlondeSoonerGirl
7/22/2005, 03:13 PM
Ms. Webb, and it was a possum. Since that story, I've had to go trap a couple more for her. She feeds a damn cat in her garage and doesn't understand why she's got possums in there. I've caught her cat 2-3 times in the trap. I oughta just possumize it. She'd never know....

Then she'll be calling needing a ride to the ER because her 'cat' attacked her arm when she tried to pet it.

Sooner51
7/22/2005, 03:22 PM
This one goes out to KC//CRIMSON:
"The racoon is smarter, he's knows how to untie your garbage, he's going through your trash, he's recycling ****, he's the F-ing bomb!"

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 03:23 PM
Then she'll be calling needing a ride to the ER because her 'cat' attacked her arm when she tried to pet it.

That's impossible. "Possumize" is a euphamism for "euthanize."

She'd just think the kitty ran off.

KC//CRIMSON
7/22/2005, 03:27 PM
This one goes out to KC//CRIMSON:
"The racoon is smarter, he's knows how to untie your garbage, he's going through your trash, he's recycling ****, he's the F-ing bomb!"

Hilarious.

More people should see that flick. :cool:

Beano's Fourth Chin
7/22/2005, 03:32 PM
They have otters at our zoo.

The cool thing about the otters here is that they have a clear plastic tube/tunnel running across the bottom of the otter tank so that my daughter can get really excited about crawling in there under the otters and then stop half way through the tunnel and start crying so that I will have to make all the other kids there get out so that I can crawl in there and get her.

yermom
7/22/2005, 03:52 PM
I threw some leftover corn on the cob out there for it about three weeks ago. It was so cute to watch him sit there and eat it with his cute little human-like hands.

So then I fed him some cat food. He sure did like that, too.

Now that bastard's getting in my plum trees to eat the plums, he's squeezing himself inside the cat door to get into the garage where I keep the cat food, he's scratching at the door that goes into the house because he smells other food - it's crazy.

He's also bringing family members with him now.

I messed up. Bad.

But he was so cute...

my mom feeds the coons that come in her back yard

if she doesn't they eat the fish out of the ponds...

BlondeSoonerGirl
7/22/2005, 03:56 PM
Oh, crap. I have fish in my pond so I'd better just put a collar on him and name him.

Carl. I'll call him Carl.

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 04:00 PM
my mom feeds the coons that come in her back yard

if she doesn't they eat the fish out of the ponds...

pfffft. You know what you call what mom feeds the coons? Appetizers. They'll eat the fish too if they want them.

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 04:26 PM
Oh, crap. I have fish in my pond so I'd better just put a collar on him and name him.

Carl. I'll call him Carl.

Carl the coon......I like it!......good luck with the collar though......

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 04:27 PM
BSG's gonna write a new safety book for children. It's gonna be called "Don't Collar Carl the Coon" by 3-fingers JB.

yermom
7/22/2005, 04:28 PM
pfffft. You know what you call what mom feeds the coons? Appetizers. They'll eat the fish too if they want them.

i think it's just a warning :D

BlondeSoonerGirl
7/22/2005, 04:29 PM
I think I'll buy him a really purty pink one.

You know, it may be a 'she'. I didn't think to...look? Can you tell?

Dean?

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 04:33 PM
I think I'll buy him a really purty pink one.

You know, it may be a 'she'. I didn't think to...look? Can you tell?

Dean?

Hard to tell with the mask on........

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 04:33 PM
I think I'll buy him a really purty pink one.

You know, it may be a 'she'. I didn't think to...look? Can you tell?

Dean?

You can. You coaxe em' up in your lap with a can of sardines (I just thought of something very nasty here so give me a minute.............) there, OK, anyhow, you get em' up in your lap, you tickle their belly, and when they roll over on their back you look for balls. Or tits. Simple really.

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 04:36 PM
You can. You coaxe em' up in your lap with a can of sardines (I just thought of something very nasty here so give me a minute.............) there, OK, anyhow, you get em' up in your lap, you tickle their belly, and when they roll over on their back you look for balls. Or tits. Simple really.

You ever had one them try to climb into the tree stand with ya? You don't want to move but you have too......

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 04:40 PM
You ever had one them try to climb into the tree stand with ya? You don't want to move but you have too......

No, but I've had squirrells sitting on a limb within a foot of my head on many occasions. Also, had a woodpecker last year start hammering away right above my head. Numerous birds have landed on the rail of my stand too. I leave my stands out year-round though, so they're pretty much used to them. Having animals that close and not knowing you're there is as much fun as hunting itself. It's one of the fringe benefits.

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 04:45 PM
No, but I've had squirrells sitting on a limb within a foot of my head on many occasions. Also, had a woodpecker last year start hammering away right above my head. Numerous birds have landed on the rail of my stand too. I leave my stands out year-round though, so they're pretty much used to them. Having animals that close and not knowing you're there is as much fun as hunting itself. It's one of the fringe benefits.

Yep, I do too and I like it. I saw an albino raccoon while I was hunting in SE OK a few years back......no telling what you'll see in a deer stand.

Mjcpr
7/22/2005, 04:46 PM
Man, you must've really been drunk.

IB4OU2
7/22/2005, 04:48 PM
Man, you must've really been drunk.

Keeps me warm.

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 04:48 PM
When I knocked up your momma? Hell yes I was drunk.

SelmaBamaFan
7/22/2005, 04:49 PM
Momma jokes pwn

C&CDean
7/22/2005, 04:55 PM
You know what's really funny? As we speak, Norm is up at the zoo trying to see an otter. He's all sweaty and whiney from the long walk, it's 100 degrees, and the sign says "due to the hot weather, the otters are not on display today."

The visual of that is cracking me up.

yermom
7/22/2005, 04:56 PM
Momma jokes pwn

you rang?

Norm In Norman
1/16/2006, 05:38 PM
OTTERS! **** YEAH!

http://members.cox.net/normandothemagnificent/otters01.jpg

Today, the quest has ended.

ultimatesooner1
1/16/2006, 06:23 PM
No, but I've had squirrells sitting on a limb within a foot of my head on many occasions. Also, had a woodpecker last year start hammering away right above my head. Numerous birds have landed on the rail of my stand too. I leave my stands out year-round though, so they're pretty much used to them. Having animals that close and not knowing you're there is as much fun as hunting itself. It's one of the fringe benefits.

i had an owl land in my tree one time, it sat there for a few minutes and then took off and caught a mouse out of the grass below my stand. it was one of the coolest things I have ever seen happen in the woods

Soonrboy
1/16/2006, 07:07 PM
Aret he otters up there by the cheetahs?

soonerbrat
1/16/2006, 10:46 PM
i love these old threads. give me a LOT of insight into the way you people think.

GottaHavePride
1/16/2006, 11:19 PM
You know, I thought about posting "Otters suck! Badgers rule!" and a link to http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/ but I thought that's been overdone around here.

Wait, I just did it anyway.

proud gonzo
1/17/2006, 12:28 AM
god damn it, who bumped another old thread?? :mad:

Norm In Norman
1/17/2006, 09:00 AM
Aret he otters up there by the cheetahs?
They are on the way to the cheetahs. they are right past the railroad tracks, the very first animal in the "dogs" part.