PDA

View Full Version : Railroad spike?



mrowl
6/17/2005, 10:54 AM
in the taint??? OUCH.

Partial Qualifier
6/17/2005, 10:59 AM
Indeed

saucysoonergal
6/17/2005, 11:22 AM
Kinky. Didn't know Dean was into that stuff. ;)

OUDoc
6/17/2005, 11:25 AM
I don't know how Dean comes up with all these sayings.
Nor do I want to know.

BlondeSoonerGirl
6/17/2005, 12:02 PM
I don't know how Dean comes up with all these sayings.
Nor do I want to know.

Screw that.

I want to know. Espcially this one.

Spikey taint story, Dean. Spill it..

OUDoc
6/17/2005, 12:17 PM
Spikey taint story, Dean. Spill it..
Ouch.

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 12:22 PM
I was rappelling off a railroad trestle (bridge) outside of Vail, Arizona. About 120 feet or so. Anyhow, it's like a helecopter rappell. No wall to put your feet against, just a big kick off, and then you're swinging in space under the trestle. I had done it several times already that day. I thought it would be really cool to give a big-*** kick, and just throw my brake arm out and let er' rip till I was about 10 feet above the ground or so.

Long story short, I picked up way too much speed. When I went to brake, it basically smoked my glove, burned my hand, and I landed in a sitting position alongside a lower track that ran perpendicular to the above track. At probably 25 mph or so. An old rusty spike in one of the railroad ties was loose, and sticking up maybe 3 inches or so. I hit it directly on my taint. It did not pierce the skin. However, I thought I was going to die on the spot. I couldn't breath, it felt like someone was trying to give me a hot-steel enema (it was 111 degrees out), and I was sure I had some gut material hanging out betwixt me legs. I was seeing flashes of light, and then darkness, then back and forth between the two.

I was afraid to move, and really couldn't if I wanted to. I kinda fell over sideways, and for probably 15 minutes all I could do was moan "**** **** **** ****in' A......"

Seriously, I've had multiple compound fractures and deep lacerations in my day. I've had enough stitches in my head to sew up a case of Honduran baseballs. I've been screwed, blued, and tattooed. But the shattering pain, the brilliant flashes of light, the utter helplessness I experienced for that 15-20 minutes was worse than anything I've done to myself.

Of course after realizing I wasn't impaled, I went back up one more time to just get back in the saddle.

I was bruised from my thighs to my tailbone, and couldn't pee without hurting for a week or so. I didn't even try to think about sex during this time. In fact, the first time I "did it" a week or so later I was sweating bullets. I'm thinking "ol' Gus might explode or something - or this chick might think I'm passing out cause she's so good or something." Everything came out just fine. Except the obvious brain damage.

OklahomaTrombone
6/17/2005, 12:24 PM
owww...

Mjcpr
6/17/2005, 12:25 PM
But the shattering pain, the brilliant flashes of light, the utter helplessness I experienced for that 15-20 minutes was worse than anything I've done to myself.
Mrs Mj says this exact same thing about twicet a year.

OUDoc
6/17/2005, 12:26 PM
See? I told you, BSG. :eek:

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 12:27 PM
See? I told you, BSG. :eek:


pfffft. She's out looking for a bridge, some rope, and some rusty spikes as we speak.

OUDoc
6/17/2005, 12:29 PM
pfffft. She's out looking for a bridge, some rope, and some rusty spikes as we speak.
:D

She might want to come by for a tetanus shot first.

SeattleOUstudent
6/17/2005, 12:29 PM
balls to the wall man....balls to the wall.

BlondeSoonerGirl
6/17/2005, 12:30 PM
One more inch, Dean. Just one more itty-bitty inch and you'd have been...

...Lid.

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 12:32 PM
Heh.

crawfish
6/17/2005, 12:32 PM
One more inch, Dean. Just one more itty-bitty inch and you'd have been...

...Lid.

That was truly uncalled for. :eddie:

mrowl
6/17/2005, 01:32 PM
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

DCSooner
6/17/2005, 01:35 PM
You call your thangy Gus?

Fugue
6/17/2005, 01:35 PM
One more inch, Dean. Just one more itty-bitty inch and you'd have been...

...Lid.

mint sprig spek to ya if I could.

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 01:48 PM
You call your thangy Gus?

No, she does.

DCSooner
6/17/2005, 01:49 PM
No, she does.Heh.

OUDoc
6/17/2005, 01:49 PM
Not a very big name.

Sooner51
6/17/2005, 01:50 PM
Kinda like the wonder donkey? :D







you know, the one who kicked field goals??

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 01:55 PM
Not a very big name.

sigh - one more time just for you Doc.

It has a tattoo on the side that says "Gus" when it's soft. When it's hard it says "Greyhound Bus Lines would like to welcome you on your trip around the 48 contiguous states that make up the good ol' US." In a 28 font. Bold. Italicized.

OUDoc
6/17/2005, 02:03 PM
sigh - one more time just for you Doc.

It has a tattoo on the side that says "Gus" when it's soft. When it's hard it says "Greyhound Bus Lines would like to welcome you on your trip around the 48 contiguous states that make up the good ol' US." In a 28 font. Bold. Italicized. Not a very big sentence. :D

Beano's Fourth Chin
6/17/2005, 02:19 PM
Every single time I read one of Dean's posts, I cringe, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Is he going to drop the bomb or not.

He and I don't see eye to eye on some things and then he comes up with a post like this and..

TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!

I give this story a sphincter pucker phactor of 9.8. The only thing that would have rated any higher would have been had the story involved a pitchfork or a picnic table umbrella.

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 02:21 PM
You "cringe?"

You "expect the worst?"

Mom?

Beano's Fourth Chin
6/17/2005, 02:26 PM
Well, I hope you were wearing clean underwear.

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 02:28 PM
Well, I hope you were wearing clean underwear.

How long does it take for your clean underwear to become dirty?

When somebody says "clean underwear" I think "oxymoron."

Beano's Fourth Chin
6/17/2005, 02:32 PM
How long does it take for your clean underwear to become dirty?

When somebody says "clean underwear" I think "oxymoron."

Honestly, all "clean underwear" bets are off should you happen to fall upon a railroad spike.

JaxSooner
6/17/2005, 02:46 PM
When I went to brake, it basically smoked my glove, burned my hand

You guys all keep going on and on about the rail road spike, but burning your hand freakin' HURTS.

Yow!

Paperclip
6/17/2005, 02:47 PM
No one spins a yarn like Dean. No one.

Mjcpr
6/17/2005, 02:47 PM
You guys all keep going on and on about the rail road spike, but burning your hand freakin' HURTS.

Yow!
Is that what he was talking about? Man, I was way off.

JaxSooner
6/17/2005, 02:48 PM
Oh, and like Beano, I have a recurring thought that pops into my head when I read Dean's posts.

Only it's "No wonder he is the way he is."

mdklatt
6/17/2005, 02:49 PM
One more inch, Dean!

:eek:

silverwheels
6/17/2005, 02:53 PM
I thought that area of real estate down there was called a "gooch" on guys. :confused:

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 03:08 PM
I thought that area of real estate down there was called a "gooch" on guys. :confused:

A gooch? Never heard of it.

Fumunda cheese factory yes, gooch no.

silverwheels
6/17/2005, 03:11 PM
A gooch? Never heard of it.

Fumunda cheese factory yes, gooch no.
It must be just us young'uns that say it then.

OklahomaTrombone
6/17/2005, 03:12 PM
It must be just us young'uns that say it then.


no. It's dumbasses who watch "jackass" that call it the gooch.

silverwheels
6/17/2005, 03:13 PM
no. It's dumbasses who watch "jackass" that call it the gooch.
I don't watch "Jackass" or anything on MTV for that matter.

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 03:17 PM
So, just exactly WTF is "gooch?"

"Taint" I understand. Gooch, not so much. And if it come from Jackass then that explains why I've never heard of it. I watched about 10 minutes one time a year or two ago. All I could think was "what a dildo." The show should be called "Dildo."

Paperclip
6/17/2005, 03:19 PM
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gooch&r=f

GottaHavePride
6/17/2005, 03:34 PM
Heh.


Gooch, a.k.a. "grundle"...
Try Are McGrundles!

C&CDean
6/17/2005, 03:35 PM
Oh. Let's make up a word that has nothing to do with the area. The gooch. Gooch. I knew a guy one time named Freddy Gooch. He was an *******. And a dick. I wonder if that's where it comes from?

mdklatt
6/17/2005, 03:36 PM
I'd never heard of "taint" or "gooch" before reading this thread. I've been enlightened.

Sooner51
6/17/2005, 03:41 PM
Y'all are all wrong, Gooch is that dude from that wrestling movie.


Or was that Cooch?

Mjcpr
6/17/2005, 03:41 PM
Don't y'all remember that Tom Hanks movie......Turner and Taint?

silverwheels
6/17/2005, 03:42 PM
Also: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=assneck&r=f

mdklatt
6/17/2005, 03:54 PM
Also: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=assneck&r=f

Who in their right mind wipes forward?

silverwheels
6/17/2005, 03:58 PM
Who in their right mind wipes forward?
:mack: and :dolemite:

1stTimeCaller
6/17/2005, 03:59 PM
Who in their right mind wipes forward?

What's the difference?

mdklatt
6/17/2005, 04:04 PM
What's the difference?

It seems like you'd get **** all over your sack if you went forward.

BlondeSoonerGirl
6/17/2005, 04:23 PM
It seems like you'd get **** all over your sack if you went forward.

I'm gonna pass out....can't breathe...

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
6/17/2005, 04:30 PM
I always learn new stuff round here.

mdklatt
6/17/2005, 04:31 PM
I'm gonna pass out....can't breathe...

From laughing?

BlondeSoonerGirl
6/17/2005, 04:35 PM
From laughing?

Oh Lord, yes....

Soonrboy
6/17/2005, 04:36 PM
Do Honduran baseballs need more stitches than an 'merican baseball?

BeetDigger
6/17/2005, 04:43 PM
I'd never heard of "taint" or "gooch" before reading this thread. I've been enlightened.

I've generally only used taint in referring to the female anatomy. For a guy, it just doesn't work as well. Gooch, maybe.


Boy, this thread brought out the admins. They're buzzing around here like flies.

GottaHavePride
6/17/2005, 05:03 PM
http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12227

GDC
6/17/2005, 05:38 PM
I personally know of two girls who struck submerged tree branches in the Illinois River when jumping off of swing ropes. One got it up the coochie, the other one in, well, the other orifice.

Scott D
6/17/2005, 05:41 PM
I personally know of two girls who struck submerged tree branches in the Illinois River when jumping off of swing ropes. One got it up the coochie, the other one in, well, the other orifice.

Pop...that coochie..pop pop that coochie...

2 Live Crew 4 Life!

silverwheels
6/17/2005, 05:41 PM
I personally know of two girls who struck submerged tree branches in the Illinois River when jumping off of swing ropes. One got it up the coochie, the other one in, well, the other orifice.
:eek:

GottaHavePride
6/17/2005, 05:54 PM
I can't imagine the pain that would be getting a splinter down there.

critical_phil
12/17/2006, 12:44 AM
ttt

proud gonzo
12/17/2006, 02:15 AM
oh my lord, how did I ever miss this thread?

OKC-SLC
12/17/2006, 10:28 AM
oh my lord, how did I ever miss this thread?
I don't hang out on the SO very often. Threads like this one are why I need to hang out here more.

Or maybe why I don't hang out here often in the first place, I'm not sure.

Newbomb Turk
12/17/2006, 02:54 PM
oh my lord, how did I ever miss this thread?

You can't judge a thread by it's title.

olevetonahill
12/17/2006, 03:11 PM
We need a forum for "Classic threads "
I nominate this as one of em :D

Okieflyer
12/18/2006, 01:27 PM
We need a forum for "Classic threads "
I nominate this as one of em :D

That's exactly what I was thinking. So when you get some time you can sit and read.