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View Full Version : Why don't we argue about cool stuff like this?



yermom
3/21/2005, 07:00 PM
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1556673&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=9&o=14&vc=1

Stanley1
3/21/2005, 07:02 PM
My first lol of the day. Good stuff.

soonerspiff
3/21/2005, 07:10 PM
Wow, that is one of the best questions I've ever seen. I'm thinking I could take something like 15 of them... give or take a few.

yermom
3/21/2005, 07:11 PM
i'm thinking if it takes more than one hit to knock one out, there may be trouble

yermom
3/21/2005, 07:12 PM
oh and this avatar probably wouldn't make it here :D

http://www.mtmtechnologies.net/badmario.gif

Okla-homey
3/21/2005, 07:19 PM
Bring it!

http://img236.exs.cx/img236/7324/starwarz2ow.png

Stanley1
3/21/2005, 07:20 PM
I think the number would be pretty high. Seriously, how is a 5 year old going to knock me out?

Viking Kitten
3/21/2005, 07:21 PM
Regular five-year-olds, or "Little Hercules: The World's Strongest Boy"?

http://www.craigproductions.com/archives/ECpics01/Richard_Sandrak_Little_Hercules.jpg

Viking Kitten
3/21/2005, 07:22 PM
And what about Little Hercules vs. Mini-Ditka?

achiro
3/21/2005, 07:29 PM
This was on page 39 of that thread...heh.
On another note, page 39!!!!http://www.baby-halloween-costume.com/baby-halloween-costume-pics/child-halloween-costume-pics/peter-pan-toddler-costume-lg.gif

GottaHavePride
3/21/2005, 07:30 PM
Dude, Bam-Bam would pwn that cheese-head.

Viking Kitten
3/21/2005, 07:31 PM
How many of those elfen-dressed munchkins do you 'spose Howzit could take on?

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:07 PM
I'm thinkin' I agree with this guy:


I am surprised at these answers. I am not that strong of a guy but I was thinking a way bigger number. Probably over 100. Do you guys realize how small 5 yr olds are? One kick to the face and they would be down for the count. The area would be pretty big and you are obviously a lot faster than them so you could just kind of run at around and pick off the ones on the edges of the mob without letting yourself get surrounded. Also I think you guys overestimate how much the training would help them. They probably woulnd't pay much attention to the teacher and wouldn't remember what they had learned the next day anyways. Their biting and whatever else would be no match for your constantly flailing arms and legs that would take them down with a single blow. And how are they ever going to get you to go unconscious? Even if they got you on the ground you could just keep flailing your arms and kicking your legs and they would be no match for you. Plus alot of them would be scared of you despite their training. Thats probably one of the biggest factors. Once they see you kicking their freinds *** they are going to go try to hide in the corner and then you can just go take em down 1 by 1. Im starting to think 100 is even low, fill up the whole damn gym.

I had some friends that used to have this barbecue every year and there would always be a dozen or so kids around. After a few beers, I ended up taking them all on in a football game. Kids could barely even lay a hand on me in that little bitty yard. And even when I stopped and let them grab me, all dozen of 'em couldn't bring me down. And these weren't no wimpy 5-year olds - more like 7 or 8-year olds. You could probably just run through a mob of 5-year olds and knock 20 of 'em out with some high knee action.

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:09 PM
I mean think about it - a 5-year old's chin is around waist high. Just go Roger Craig on their weak asses and catch 'em all right under the chin with a knee and they start dropping like flies.

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:09 PM
I would pwn a kindergarten class.

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:14 PM
And I think this is an excellent idea as well:


Are you allowed to use one the kids to wield at other kids ala a sword?

Grab one of those little buggers by the ankles and swing it around like you're doing the hammer throw.

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:15 PM
Why am I the only one still posting in this thread?

Aren't the rest of you interested in fighting little kids?

GDC
3/21/2005, 08:15 PM
all of them

:)

GDC
3/21/2005, 08:15 PM
Why am I the only one still posting in this thread?

Aren't the rest of you interested in fighting little kids?

I'm a teacher, this might someday have practical applications for me.

Stanley1
3/21/2005, 08:19 PM
I think it'd be alot. Might be tough to knock them out, as you'd get tired eventually, but I see no way in hell they'd be able to knock you out.

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:19 PM
Heh.


The problem I see with running around or kicking / flailing your legs is the potential for one of the little carcasses strewn about the room to get caught up in your legs. Inevitably, when this happens, the likelihood of a serious ACL or MCL injury is increased

NickelBack
3/21/2005, 08:20 PM
Fill the freakin gym. I'd be like Neo in Matrix II

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:26 PM
I'm mesmerized by TheSaltCracka's avatar.

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:29 PM
I'm mesmerized by TheSaltCracka's avatar.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y52/ToddG/1090906404055.gif

GottaHavePride
3/21/2005, 08:35 PM
Ah. Alizee again.

GottaHavePride
3/21/2005, 08:39 PM
Someone used to have this one (http://zoouz.free.fr/divers/Alizee.gif) as an avatar.

SoonerInKCMO
3/21/2005, 08:43 PM
I like the move she does where she bends over with her knees straight, slides her hands up her thighs and then does a 180 with her back arched the whole time.

Man, this is going to go from roughing up 5-year olds to roughing up the suspect pretty quickly.

GottaHavePride
3/21/2005, 08:44 PM
Here's his avatar a bit bigger (http://image1.lightbox7.com/themightyz/alizee.gif)

yermom
3/21/2005, 08:50 PM
Someone used to have this one (http://zoouz.free.fr/divers/Alizee.gif) as an avatar.

i had never seen the original, just the one with the fat asian kid's head on her body

GottaHavePride
3/21/2005, 08:52 PM
Heh. I just googled alizee and there it was.

Oldnslo
3/21/2005, 10:17 PM
Fresh back from kickboxing class, here.

Yeah, it would be a high number, but y'all aren't taking your own fatigue into account. Just throwing a punch against air, done long enough, will do you in. Here, every shot you're throwing is a heavy blow. Even for a 5 year-old, you still want to be sure that you only have to throw one technique, so you'd give it at least, say, 75%.

That's work. We spend the first 30 or so minutes of class shadow boxing/warming up. That warmup--all by itself--will do in an out-of-shape dude. It happens every January.

More than 100. Less than 1000. Eventually, I'd get fatigued, and one of the little bastards would get in a shot, and that cup isn't all the protection you want it to be. After that... they'd be like ants.

Al Gore
3/21/2005, 10:36 PM
I agree with Old...fatigue would be the only factor. As far as using one as a sword, they would weigh around 30 to 40 lbs. You would tire quickly. Catch one, rip off a couple of legs and use them as weapons.....

SoonerInKCMO
3/22/2005, 09:15 AM
This really needs to be on the front page for the morning people.

Crazy4OU
3/22/2005, 09:20 AM
I think they should take the cup away. That might make a big difference.

Veritas
3/22/2005, 09:31 AM
I think it depends quite a bit on your own height and weight. I've got a friend who is about 5'4" and only weighs about 130 lbs. We were at a bar the other day and for no reason at all he punched me in the arm. I slugged him back and put a little body behind it and knocked him off his chair. Of course, I have a foot and a hundred pounds on him, so that just makes me a bully.

But my point is that kinetic energy counts for a ton. If a 5 year old took a running charge at my pint-sized buddy, it might move him out of position. If a 5 year old took a running at a guy my size, I'm thinking they'd just bounce off. So I wouldn't have to expend a whole lot of energy defending myself.

And regarding fatigue...I think it comes down to if they're allowed to bite or not. If they are, well, yeah, fatigue is an issue. But if they're NOT, then you could just curl up in a fetal position and recoup your strength. They wouldn't really be able to hurt you much in that position, even if they dogpiled you.

soonerspiff
3/22/2005, 10:28 AM
After much more consideration, I'm pretty sure I could take about 50 of the little buggers before finally being taken down. I'm not sure if they could really "knock me out", but if they piled on top of me so much so that they restricted my breathing enough, I might pass out... so close enough.

Beano's Fourth Chin
3/22/2005, 11:18 AM
Here's how I'd train the kids:

I'd have them surround you and then have them close in. Whatever direction you started running in, I'd have those kids quickly drop to their hands and knees. You would fall. After that, it's over.

That's how Ender would do it too... Game over.

C&CDean
3/22/2005, 11:26 AM
Even an elephant eventually gets taken down by ants.....

Boarder
3/22/2005, 11:33 AM
All it would take is one of the kids to bite me and I'd go Tasmanian Devil on them.

colleyvillesooner
3/22/2005, 11:37 AM
This thread officially cheered me up...

49r
3/22/2005, 12:20 PM
This thread reminds me of a movie I saw last night called "Battle Royale".

yermom
3/22/2005, 12:25 PM
i've been meaning to see that

49r
3/22/2005, 12:50 PM
It's definetly an interesting film...you won't see one like it made in the US, that's for sure.

Al Gore
3/22/2005, 10:32 PM
I have been re-thinking my strategy......

Hatfield
3/28/2005, 03:05 PM
The idea is simple, but there are rules.

1.) You are in an enclosed area about the size of a basketball court. You have no weapons or padding on you. There are no weapons lying around. You can only protect the family jewels (cup).

2.) You cannot touch a wall or use that as a weapon.

3.) These kids want you DEAD. that is, they won't get scared or back off at ALL.

4.) Assume they are all of good health. Also, they've received one day of combat training, to show them what will hurt you, and the correct way to attack.

5.) When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When all the kids are knocked unconscious (amount of kids is somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 figures), you win.


My question is this: how many 5-year olds could you take on at once?

Veritas
3/28/2005, 03:05 PM
Didn't we already cover this last week?

Hatfield
3/28/2005, 03:07 PM
you could have been practicing thus making your score higher.

Viking Kitten
3/28/2005, 03:07 PM
That was before we learned about kancho, though.

mdklatt
3/28/2005, 03:07 PM
Didn't we already cover this last week?

Yep. And according to my sister, a kindergarten teacher, anybody who thinks they can take on more than a dozen or so at once is crazy.

Stanley1
3/28/2005, 03:08 PM
Yep. And according to my sister, a kindergarten teacher, anybody who thinks they can take on more than a dozen or so at once is crazy.

She has got to be kidding.

mdklatt
3/28/2005, 03:09 PM
She has got to be kidding.

When's the last time you were around a mess of five-year-olds?

Veritas
3/28/2005, 03:10 PM
She has got to be kidding.
She may not be able to. 5 year olds are little tiny people. It would be a whole different deal if we were talking about 10 year olds.

colleyvillesooner
3/28/2005, 03:11 PM
When's the last time you were around a mess of five-year-olds?

Must....resist....Stanley.....underage....joke.... ;)

jk the sooner fan
3/28/2005, 03:12 PM
where do you folks come up with this stuff?

Hatfield
3/28/2005, 03:13 PM
i would just pick one up by the ankles and use him like a club.

colleyvillesooner
3/28/2005, 03:14 PM
i would just pick one up by the ankles and use him like a club.
This was in the other thread too. You'd get tired too quick swing a kid around. I liked the "Roger Craig High Knee" theory, perfect level for their chins...OUT!

Stanley1
3/28/2005, 03:14 PM
When's the last time you were around a mess of five-year-olds?

I haven't been around a "mess" of them in a while, but I have been around nephews who are about that age. How is a 5 year old going to knock me unconscious? I honestly don't think they have the strength, plus until they get you on the ground, they couldn't hit your head anyways. Once on the ground, cover up.

I'd lay out a dozen 5 year olds in 20 minutes.

C&CDean
3/28/2005, 03:15 PM
This topic was covered ad nauseum last week. How about dredging up that thread?

And how many could I take? All of em'.

Stanley1
3/28/2005, 03:16 PM
Must....resist....Stanley.....underage....joke.... ;)

:cool:

colleyvillesooner
3/28/2005, 03:16 PM
I haven't been around a "mess" of them in a while, but I have been around nephews who are about that age. How is a 5 year old going to knock me unconscious? I honestly don't think they have the strength, plus until they get you on the ground, they couldn't hit your head anyways. Once on the ground, cover up.

I'd lay out a dozen 5 year olds in 20 minutes.

I don't think it would take you that long for only 12. Now 50 would be a problem, but 12 you could probably run around picking them off one by one. How hard can it be to knock out a five year old? (did I really just say that?)

Veritas
3/28/2005, 03:17 PM
I don't think it would take you that long for only 12. Now 50 would be a problem, but 12 you could probably run around picking them off one by one. How hard can it be to knock out a five year old? (did I really just say that?)
Yeah, I'd think buy running high knee I could take out several on the run. Plus, I'm like 230 and pretty quick, so I could club a few of them silly with my fists on the way by.

jk the sooner fan
3/28/2005, 03:19 PM
this thread is a michael jackson fantasy come true....

mdklatt
3/28/2005, 03:23 PM
How is a 5 year old going to knock me unconscious? I honestly don't think they have the strength, plus until they get you on the ground, they couldn't hit your head anyways. Once on the ground, cover up.



First of all, they're coming at you all once--not one at a time. If they knocked you down they'd be like a swarm of fire ants. Try to cover up all you want, but a mess of 5-year-olds playing kickball with your head is going to do some damage. Even if they couldn't knock you unconscious they could pretty quickly render you combat ineffective. I assume that, among other things, they'll be trying to scratch, bite, and gouge you. Five-year-olds are very good at this.

Scott D
3/28/2005, 03:28 PM
merging kicks ***

Rhino
4/14/2005, 03:20 PM
This guy (http://thedecadentwest.blogspot.com/2005/04/dw-vs-five-year-olds-bring-it-on.html) is going to hell.

If you consider bad words on an image NSFW, then don't click. Otherwise, it's fine. Disturbing and hilarious all at the same time.

yermom
4/14/2005, 03:31 PM
thank goodness they are American kids

if this was in Tokyo or something it would be one huge Kancho-fest

Reno
4/14/2005, 03:49 PM
http://img27.exs.cx/img27/8079/kids8du.png

GDC
4/22/2005, 12:59 PM
http://img27.exs.cx/img27/8079/kids8du.png


heh

afs
4/24/2005, 06:31 PM
5

BajaOklahoma
4/24/2005, 07:21 PM
You guys should go to the KN PE class at my school. The kids are easily distracted and have a limited ability to follow complex directions (I'd love to see the guy work with them for a full day on martial arts - ha!) and their attention span is generally fairly short. That said, if they were motivated, you wouldn't stand a chance. Of course, you'd have lots of kids injured too - by each other.

proud gonzo
8/31/2006, 07:51 PM
BUMP

afs
8/31/2006, 07:54 PM
http://www.freexe.com/files/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm

crawfish
8/31/2006, 07:55 PM
I had to watch two five-year-olds a couple of months ago. They took me down. :(

Scott D
8/31/2006, 07:58 PM
I had to watch two five-year-olds a couple of months ago. They took me down. :(

yeah your minature robster craws put you at a disadvantage.

Boarder
8/31/2006, 10:13 PM
I still discuss this thread all the time.

GottaHavePride
8/31/2006, 10:35 PM
http://www.freexe.com/files/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm

Note to self: Never jokingly suggest anything while in Cambodia unless I actually want it to happen.

proud gonzo
8/31/2006, 10:47 PM
http://www.freexe.com/files/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm

holy ****

yermom
9/1/2006, 03:02 AM
that's a hoax, someone posted it like a year ago too :)

proud gonzo
9/1/2006, 10:35 AM
i know somebody posted it a year ago. i hadn't read it before.... but it's pretty dang funny. well, in a sick messed-up sorta way.

who writes things like this? can I make a living writing BS stories that people think are true??

mdklatt
9/1/2006, 10:38 AM
can I make a living writing BS stories that people think are true??

Ask Stephen Glass and Jayson Blair. :cool:

homerSimpsonsBrain
9/1/2006, 11:26 AM
The idea is simple, but there are rules.

1.) You are in an enclosed area about the size of a basketball court. You have no weapons or padding on you. There are no weapons lying around. You can only protect the family jewels (cup).

2.) You cannot touch a wall or use that as a weapon.

3.) These kids want you DEAD. that is, they won't get scared or back off at ALL.

4.) Assume they are all of good health. Also, they've received one day of combat training, to show them what will hurt you, and the correct way to attack.

5.) When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When all the kids are knocked unconscious (amount of kids is somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 figures), you win.


My question is this: how many 5-year olds could you take on at once?


But are they ill-tempered?

Beano's Fourth Chin
9/1/2006, 11:39 AM
http://www.freexe.com/files/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm

Ricky Gervais talked about this in his podcast a while back. That was one of the funniest 5 minutes I've ever heard in my life.

colleyvillesooner
8/16/2007, 10:51 PM
bump

critical_phil
8/16/2007, 10:55 PM
this guy's in training. (http://www.b3ta.com/links/Child_Beater)

colleyvillesooner
8/16/2007, 10:57 PM
heh

dolemitesooner
8/17/2007, 08:38 AM
I have never laughed so hard in my laugh...I could take over 100

TMcGee86
8/17/2007, 11:51 AM
srsly. 5 year olds can barely run straight, much less generate any force with a kick or punch.

Watch a 5 yr old soccer game. I think I could take as many as I wanted to until I got tired.

The only possible way I could see someone losing would be to quit because of exhaustion and they somehow get you down on the ground and dog pile you and you die of asphyxiation.