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View Full Version : since you like my travel stories...



jkm, the stolen pifwafwi
2/19/2005, 09:17 PM
well, 2-18 flight AA1975 ORD-SEA the inevitable happened - an less room through coach MD80. after just randomly cancelling my normal flight AA868 last sunday and forcing me to take a redeye, i'm beginning to think AA doesn't think much of us seattleites ;).

on to the trip report...
my first omen of impending doom was when my upgrades wouldn't go through. the 100 hour window passed and there were empty seats but no upgrades. then 72, then 48, and at 24 i look and there are no more 1st class seats. i don't even begin to understand how the priority system works as i purchased and requested the seat about a month ago. so i printed my boarding pass for good ole 21 D around 24 hours before departure (when is AA going to correct the guides that say 30 hours?) so that i could get priority at the gate. my next omen is when our completely full flight in bloomington, illinois was downgraded to a smaller RJ (regional jet). i was in a panic thinking that 10 of us were going to get IDB'd (involuntarily denied boarding which has happened before), but the chick at the desk said a bunch of people had taken standby earlier so they didn't need the big RJ. so i went from the back of the plane to the very front seat. some would think, you're complaining? well, when gate checking i prefer to be the last one off the plane so i don't have to move to the end of the line ;). we departed on time with everything going smoothly and we actually got to ORD (ohare) on time. after i got my bag (last as usual no matter where i put it on the cart :mad: ) i walked into G6a, glanced at the monitors to make sure i hadn't been bumped from a gate and strolled to K3. i meandered into the lounge around 20 minutes before departure and of course we are going to be delayed a bit (the monitor never changes). so i stand there for about 5 minutes when the GAs start playfully arguing over who is going to board the plane. after about a minute one of the passengers says "you want me to pick?" they give him a dirty look and then head to their positions.

now, i'm really really allergic to perfume and cologne. so i normally wander over to the boarding line to see if anyone believes in first has marinated themselves in it before i board. if its more than i think the air blower on high can protect me from, i ask an FA to have someone trade with me. well, one guy had fallen in a vat of it on his tour of the cologne factory so i'm thankful for my exit seat.

they call first and then go to group 1. this isn't unusual as this lady at the desk is notorious for stacking groups to see how long of a line she can get into the hall (which is why i love it when they bump me from gate k3 to k9). as i'm walking to the back of the first line, i notice an elderly lady with a cane hobbling up to the line.

i ask her "why didn't you preboard?"
she says "the lady at the desk said they don't do preboards"
i say "she's as full of crap as a christmas turkey. get in line in front of me."
she says "well i'm in group 3"
i say "i'm an elite on this airline if they question it, i'll say you are with me."

about this time we get to the ticket checker and she says "why didn't you preboard?" :rolleyes:

now the fun begins, she scans my BP and it comes up with some saying i don't have the right seat. so i'm like "maybe my upgrade came through, i'll go to the desk and check". she says "no, i'll check it right here". she then types a bunch of as-400 looking codes into her computer and 4 minutes later figures out my upgrade came through. now, while she is doing this the totally oblivious GA at the desk is calling group 4 to get in line.

she tells me to "go get it sorted out at the GA desk and then just come and get in the front of the line". i had to raise my eyebrow at this. i mean, i watch airline on bravo, you cut in front of the wrong someone and they have to pry them off of you with the jaws of life ;). so i go to the desk where the GA is chatting it up with a couple of pilots. i wait patiently for her to acknowledge my presence for about 30 seconds (patiently?? ;)). i roll my eyes at the pilot standing next to me who then suggests to her that she take care of me. she looks at me with a "where did you come from look" and asks me if she can help. i say in my best okie drawl, "yes, ma'am. their tellin' me that you fellers put me in first class." she says "hmm, that's strange". so she looks it up and sure enough i was in first. she looks at a few more screens and then says "oh, your an executive platinum." i looked at the pilot and winked. he didn't look very happy for some reason. of course, i'd find out why in a few minutes. so i get my new boarding pass and meander to the back of the line wondering who i was going to trade with thinking probably the old lady with the cane so she could get off the plane easier. i looked at my boarding pass and it said 6A. 6A? 6A?

i didn't have time to think about it because i was in the middle of some group 3s and pushed on down the jet bridge and i noticed that the guy in front of me was a soldier.

me - "hey, would you like to trade seats"
him - "nah, i don't think so"
me - "what seat are you in"
him - "26E"
me (thinking this is going to hurt me a 100x more than its going to hurt him ;)) - "i'm in first class"
him - "are you serious?"
me - "yep"

so i get on the flight and tell the FA, i'm trading my 6A seat with the soldier. with a shocked look, she says "that's fine". as a side note, i've had this FA crew 3 times on this flight and all 3 times i've had to give up my 1st seat. so as i'm wandering through the aisle in first, 3 things stick out at me. first, there are 2 crew members in first, second pickled cologne guy is in 6B, and third, why are their 16 F seats (i have to admit i was a little slow last night ;)). i meander back to 26E and take my seat noticing that the old lady was in 19A (no recline) so i was in a pick your poison situation.

at this point i look at the seat in front of me and think, man that seat is close. i lean forward to rearrange my laptop and the lady in front of me slams her seat back on the top of my head. i felt like i'd been hit by mike tyson it hurt so bad, but she wasn't through. she started hammering the back of the seat to get it to recline more. after losing consciousness at least twice, my motor reflexes came back online and i was able to grab the chair and tell her to stop. of course, this wasn't the last run in with mrs. i have a startling resemblance to robert deniro. after we take off and the chime sounds to recline your seat, she slams it back and since the luck of norm strikes all who dare to read SO she is in a broken chair. and by broken, i mean it doesn't stop going back until it hammers me in the kneecap. i was suddenly stricken with pain only a cubicle dweller with a keyboard tray can know, but i was trapped under her seat and couldn't move to rub it. almost in tears, i said "your seat is broken and isn't supposed to recline that far, could you please put it back to a more tolerable level?" without missing a frickin' beat, she goes all peter parker on me and says "i fail to see where that is my problem". and like i was arnie in the terminator, the possible responses scrolled across the screen.

1. "well, i'm about to rip you apart"
2. "man, i suddenly feel sick"
3. "look at my snot bubbles"
4. sneeze

heh, heh guess which one i chose?

OklahomaTrombone
2/19/2005, 09:22 PM
heh.

StoopTroup
2/19/2005, 09:34 PM
God was testing you....lol

critical_phil
2/19/2005, 09:46 PM
i can't wait for the movie...............

StoopTroup
2/19/2005, 10:26 PM
It could always be worse....

ACCIDENT
Date: February 16, 2005 Time: 09:13
Location: Pueblo, Colorado
Operator: Private Corporate Jet - Circuit City Stores Inc.
AC Type: Cessna 560 Citation V
Reg: N500AT cn: 560-0146
Route: Richmond, VA - St. Louis, MO - Pueblo, CO - Irvine, CA
Aboard: 8 Fatalities: 8 Ground: 0
Details: The small jet crashed and burned 4 miles from Pueblo Memorial Airport while on approach in low clouds fog and freezing drizzle. Witnesses said they heard loud popping noises before the plane crashed. Both pilots and six passengers were killed.

RacerX
2/19/2005, 10:38 PM
Geez.

Soonerbabeinbama
2/19/2005, 10:50 PM
When are you gonna get out of the red racer?

picasso
2/19/2005, 11:40 PM
I'm everywhere Focker

Bama/OU
2/19/2005, 11:51 PM
Suddenly sick would seem to work the best. Making a gagging sound like you are gonna puke...add the little forward convulsion-types of movement for subtle reality.

Bama/OU
2/19/2005, 11:54 PM
For best instant response from said asshat:


http://www.people.virginia.edu/~rjh9u/gif/sneeze.gif

Sooner_Bob
2/21/2005, 02:03 AM
Wow, I'll try to remember to never complain about traveling again. :D

OklahomaTuba
2/21/2005, 09:20 AM
Flying commerical sucks.

Props on giving your seat up to the soldier though!

OklahomaTrombone
2/20/2006, 12:18 AM
well, 2-18 flight AA1975 ORD-SEA the inevitable happened - an less room through coach MD80. after just randomly cancelling my normal flight AA868 last sunday and forcing me to take a redeye, i'm beginning to think AA doesn't think much of us seattleites ;).

on to the trip report...
my first omen of impending doom was when my upgrades wouldn't go through. the 100 hour window passed and there were empty seats but no upgrades. then 72, then 48, and at 24 i look and there are no more 1st class seats. i don't even begin to understand how the priority system works as i purchased and requested the seat about a month ago. so i printed my boarding pass for good ole 21 D around 24 hours before departure (when is AA going to correct the guides that say 30 hours?) so that i could get priority at the gate. my next omen is when our completely full flight in bloomington, illinois was downgraded to a smaller RJ (regional jet). i was in a panic thinking that 10 of us were going to get IDB'd (involuntarily denied boarding which has happened before), but the chick at the desk said a bunch of people had taken standby earlier so they didn't need the big RJ. so i went from the back of the plane to the very front seat. some would think, you're complaining? well, when gate checking i prefer to be the last one off the plane so i don't have to move to the end of the line ;). we departed on time with everything going smoothly and we actually got to ORD (ohare) on time. after i got my bag (last as usual no matter where i put it on the cart :mad: ) i walked into G6a, glanced at the monitors to make sure i hadn't been bumped from a gate and strolled to K3. i meandered into the lounge around 20 minutes before departure and of course we are going to be delayed a bit (the monitor never changes). so i stand there for about 5 minutes when the GAs start playfully arguing over who is going to board the plane. after about a minute one of the passengers says "you want me to pick?" they give him a dirty look and then head to their positions.

now, i'm really really allergic to perfume and cologne. so i normally wander over to the boarding line to see if anyone believes in first has marinated themselves in it before i board. if its more than i think the air blower on high can protect me from, i ask an FA to have someone trade with me. well, one guy had fallen in a vat of it on his tour of the cologne factory so i'm thankful for my exit seat.

they call first and then go to group 1. this isn't unusual as this lady at the desk is notorious for stacking groups to see how long of a line she can get into the hall (which is why i love it when they bump me from gate k3 to k9). as i'm walking to the back of the first line, i notice an elderly lady with a cane hobbling up to the line.

i ask her "why didn't you preboard?"
she says "the lady at the desk said they don't do preboards"
i say "she's as full of crap as a christmas turkey. get in line in front of me."
she says "well i'm in group 3"
i say "i'm an elite on this airline if they question it, i'll say you are with me."

about this time we get to the ticket checker and she says "why didn't you preboard?" :rolleyes:

now the fun begins, she scans my BP and it comes up with some saying i don't have the right seat. so i'm like "maybe my upgrade came through, i'll go to the desk and check". she says "no, i'll check it right here". she then types a bunch of as-400 looking codes into her computer and 4 minutes later figures out my upgrade came through. now, while she is doing this the totally oblivious GA at the desk is calling group 4 to get in line.

she tells me to "go get it sorted out at the GA desk and then just come and get in the front of the line". i had to raise my eyebrow at this. i mean, i watch airline on bravo, you cut in front of the wrong someone and they have to pry them off of you with the jaws of life ;). so i go to the desk where the GA is chatting it up with a couple of pilots. i wait patiently for her to acknowledge my presence for about 30 seconds (patiently?? ;)). i roll my eyes at the pilot standing next to me who then suggests to her that she take care of me. she looks at me with a "where did you come from look" and asks me if she can help. i say in my best okie drawl, "yes, ma'am. their tellin' me that you fellers put me in first class." she says "hmm, that's strange". so she looks it up and sure enough i was in first. she looks at a few more screens and then says "oh, your an executive platinum." i looked at the pilot and winked. he didn't look very happy for some reason. of course, i'd find out why in a few minutes. so i get my new boarding pass and meander to the back of the line wondering who i was going to trade with thinking probably the old lady with the cane so she could get off the plane easier. i looked at my boarding pass and it said 6A. 6A? 6A?

i didn't have time to think about it because i was in the middle of some group 3s and pushed on down the jet bridge and i noticed that the guy in front of me was a soldier.

me - "hey, would you like to trade seats"
him - "nah, i don't think so"
me - "what seat are you in"
him - "26E"
me (thinking this is going to hurt me a 100x more than its going to hurt him ;)) - "i'm in first class"
him - "are you serious?"
me - "yep"

so i get on the flight and tell the FA, i'm trading my 6A seat with the soldier. with a shocked look, she says "that's fine". as a side note, i've had this FA crew 3 times on this flight and all 3 times i've had to give up my 1st seat. so as i'm wandering through the aisle in first, 3 things stick out at me. first, there are 2 crew members in first, second pickled cologne guy is in 6B, and third, why are their 16 F seats (i have to admit i was a little slow last night ;)). i meander back to 26E and take my seat noticing that the old lady was in 19A (no recline) so i was in a pick your poison situation.

at this point i look at the seat in front of me and think, man that seat is close. i lean forward to rearrange my laptop and the lady in front of me slams her seat back on the top of my head. i felt like i'd been hit by mike tyson it hurt so bad, but she wasn't through. she started hammering the back of the seat to get it to recline more. after losing consciousness at least twice, my motor reflexes came back online and i was able to grab the chair and tell her to stop. of course, this wasn't the last run in with mrs. i have a startling resemblance to robert deniro. after we take off and the chime sounds to recline your seat, she slams it back and since the luck of norm strikes all who dare to read SO she is in a broken chair. and by broken, i mean it doesn't stop going back until it hammers me in the kneecap. i was suddenly stricken with pain only a cubicle dweller with a keyboard tray can know, but i was trapped under her seat and couldn't move to rub it. almost in tears, i said "your seat is broken and isn't supposed to recline that far, could you please put it back to a more tolerable level?" without missing a frickin' beat, she goes all peter parker on me and says "i fail to see where that is my problem". and like i was arnie in the terminator, the possible responses scrolled across the screen.

1. "well, i'm about to rip you apart"
2. "man, i suddenly feel sick"
3. "look at my snot bubbles"
4. sneeze

heh, heh guess which one i chose?


http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/snotbubble-40797.jpg