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deweydw
8/13/2015, 02:43 PM
... is so strong, he can stop the unstoppable force, and move an immovable object.
deweydw
8/13/2015, 02:48 PM
... can kill two stones with one bird.
deweydw
8/13/2015, 02:50 PM
... is faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Samaje's warm-up exercises.
KantoSooner
8/13/2015, 03:13 PM
Divides by zero.
In an off hand manner.
Landthief 1972
8/13/2015, 04:27 PM
...once made Chuck Norris cry just by glaring at him.
deweydw
8/13/2015, 08:21 PM
... counted to infinity. Twice.
deweydw
8/13/2015, 08:24 PM
... doesn't skip rocks across water, he skips boulders.
Therealsouthsider
8/13/2015, 09:37 PM
....runs in place while the end zone comes to him


ss
swardboy
8/13/2015, 09:40 PM
....stops at one when popping bubble wrap.
Landthief 1972
8/14/2015, 11:24 AM
...crushes his enemies, sees them driven before him, and hears the lamentations of their women while gaining first downs.
Landthief 1972
8/14/2015, 11:51 AM
...eats lightning and craps thunder.
deweydw
8/14/2015, 12:03 PM
... eats coal and craps diamonds.
Landthief 1972
8/14/2015, 01:28 PM
Not to be outdone by Davy Crockett, he killed him a bear when he was only two.
Mazeppa
8/14/2015, 08:20 PM
The most interesting man in the world

http://i62.tinypic.com/2e67y85.jpg
Mazeppa
8/14/2015, 08:23 PM
In Pamplona the bulls run from Samaje!
Mazeppa
8/14/2015, 08:38 PM
He taught Brock Lesnar how to bring the pain.


http://i62.tinypic.com/2962bk8.jpg
deweydw
8/14/2015, 09:18 PM
... never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
deweydw
8/14/2015, 09:20 PM
... can stop a Tsunami by staring at it.
deweydw
8/14/2015, 09:24 PM
... has a birthday any day he wants.
Aries
8/15/2015, 06:12 AM
Sharks have a Samaje Perine week.
SoonerMarkVA
8/15/2015, 11:10 AM
... scares Freddy Kruger in his nightmares.
SoonerMarkVA
8/15/2015, 11:14 AM
... eats Chick Fil A on Sundays.
SoonerMarkVA
8/15/2015, 11:15 AM
... wiped out the dinosaurs by spiking an asteroid.
deweydw
8/15/2015, 02:17 PM
... dosent get lost...Everything around him is in the wrong place!
deweydw
8/15/2015, 02:19 PM
... doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
Therealsouthsider
8/15/2015, 04:39 PM
....interstellar space travel is sadly not a reality, since man cannot travel at the speed of Perine


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deweydw
8/17/2015, 06:50 AM
... went to Zion and Neo became The Two.
deweydw
8/17/2015, 06:53 AM
... has never watched Rambo, he hates Chick Flicks.
deweydw
8/17/2015, 06:55 AM
... can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Therealsouthsider
8/17/2015, 09:16 AM
....bends Uri Geller with his mind

ss
deweydw
8/18/2015, 07:02 PM
... blood type is platinum.
deweydw
8/18/2015, 07:04 PM
... is so tough he can unscramble scrambled eggs.
deweydw
8/18/2015, 07:05 PM
... once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
SoonerorLater
8/18/2015, 07:16 PM
Chuck Norris watches him for inspiration.
KantoSooner
8/18/2015, 08:25 PM
Voice is played back to comfort premature infants
SoonerMarkVA
8/19/2015, 05:26 PM
... bench presses Graham's Number lbs. Twice. While staring down Chuck Norris.
KantoSooner
8/19/2015, 07:14 PM
Impossible!
Chuck Norris could not meet Perine's gaze!
deweydw
8/20/2015, 09:34 AM
... can cut scissors with paper.
deweydw
8/20/2015, 09:35 AM
... orders his steaks rare. Then he stares at them until they reach his preferred level of doneness.
deweydw
8/20/2015, 09:36 AM
... once made a freight train take a dirt road.
KantoSooner
8/20/2015, 09:38 AM
...is on the Pope's speed dial.
KantoSooner
8/20/2015, 09:42 AM
...is a Fathead on Vladimir Putin's bedroom wall.
KantoSooner
8/20/2015, 09:43 AM
...stands next to mountains, before chopping them down with the edge of his hands.
Landthief 1972
8/20/2015, 02:08 PM
makes the World's Most Interesting Man feel inadequate.
Therealsouthsider
8/20/2015, 10:38 PM
....takes the Kraken for its morning walks

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deweydw
8/21/2015, 11:21 AM
... does not sleep. He waits.
deweydw
8/21/2015, 11:23 AM
... doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
deweydw
8/21/2015, 11:24 AM
... can slam a revolving door.
Therealsouthsider
8/21/2015, 11:29 PM
....relaxes from football by training Navy SEALS


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SoonerMarkVA
8/22/2015, 11:42 AM
... flosses with a chainsaw.
KantoSooner
8/22/2015, 11:51 AM
Kept his family home warm by chopping wood.

With his hands.
deweydw
8/26/2015, 10:27 AM
... wrote his own genetic code
deweydw
8/26/2015, 10:28 AM
... invented a pencil for left handed people.
deweydw
8/26/2015, 10:29 AM
... IS the sharpest tool in the shed.
KantoSooner
8/26/2015, 10:49 AM
... created new colors because the old ones were not vibrant enough for his world.
SoonerMarkVA
8/26/2015, 04:53 PM
... accepted the resignation of his immune system, which never had anything to do.
SoonerMarkVA
8/26/2015, 04:56 PM
... is so awesome, TDTW doesn't even criticize him.
Mazeppa
8/26/2015, 08:36 PM
Is the 40th best player in the country, which means there are 39 player better than Samaje? I don't think so.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/ncaaf-dr-saturday/ranking-the-top-50-players-in-college-football-150540311.html
SoonerMarkVA
8/26/2015, 08:43 PM
... is the 40th best player in the country, where all 40 players are Samaje Perine.
olevetonahill
8/26/2015, 08:59 PM
... is so awesome, TDTW doesn't even criticize him.

High five to you!
Therealsouthsider
8/26/2015, 10:29 PM
....tackling Samaje will now be included at the 2016 Olympics in Rio

....medals for the new event are not being made, as none are expected to be won


ss
deweydw
8/29/2015, 07:24 AM
... can solve a rubix cube in one single turn.
deweydw
8/29/2015, 07:28 AM
... can split an atom with his teeth and contain the explosion in his mouth.
deweydw
8/29/2015, 07:34 AM
... once skydived..........from the ground into a passing plane
deweydw
9/2/2015, 08:53 PM
... once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
SoonerMarkVA
9/3/2015, 07:30 AM
... eats Great White shark sushi. Alive.
SoonerMarkVA
9/3/2015, 07:33 AM
... does mess around with Jim.
KantoSooner
9/3/2015, 09:05 AM
...was made a living God by a small tribe in New Guinea. A minor God, to be sure, and a small tribe, but still...
swardboy
9/3/2015, 11:44 AM
...knows where the beef is.










okay that's pretty old...remember Clara? "Where's the beef?'
TheHumanAlphabet
9/3/2015, 01:37 PM
Taunts and messes with the Sasquatch with Jack's Links and the Sasquatch just turns away in defeat...
winout
9/3/2015, 01:53 PM
Stopped after one Lay's.
swardboy
9/3/2015, 03:17 PM
....hears the tree in the forest fall when no one's there.
KantoSooner
9/3/2015, 03:36 PM
...performed an appendectomy on himself. But, you'd never know because the stitches were done so finely that they left no scar.
SoonerMarkVA
9/3/2015, 04:32 PM
Bill Brasky drinks to him, but feels inward shame because he knows he's not worthy of drinking to Samaje Perine.
deweydw
9/5/2015, 05:03 PM
... can play with fire, and not get burned.
deweydw
9/5/2015, 05:04 PM
... can pass an eye exam.....blindfolded!
deweydw
9/5/2015, 05:06 PM
... can make curtains out of the fabric of time.
murray1430
9/6/2015, 12:12 AM
is transferring to get more carries/yards and records.
Therealsouthsider
9/6/2015, 12:31 AM
is transferring to get more carries/yards and records.

....records at mcneese st. dont mean ****, already setting natl records in Norman


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murray1430
9/7/2015, 02:40 AM
Set 1 last season. Will NOT if the offense stays the same. Hope the passing game stays the same and the running game picks up. We'll see.
swardboy
9/7/2015, 10:53 AM
Well you know how we never show much the first game. Against Tennessee Samaje will rush EVERY PLAY! Because HE CAN!!!
deweydw
9/11/2015, 10:05 AM
... can have his cake and eat yours too.