Dope Smoking Nephew Experiment Update

[Tear Down This Wall]

Not going well. Suspect he's smoking dope again. Called him on the carpet this morning and told him that beginning July 1 he would be drug tested monthly. He was pissed off.

Sadly, he bowed up and tried to tell me it wasn't legal to test him. I honestly do not know where kids get their information about marijuana these days. I had to break the bad news to him that:

(1) In Texas, there is no law that prevents me as a private employer from drug testing him; and, in fact, the same is true Federally.
(2) In Texas, there is no law that prevents me as a private employer from drug testing him; and, in fact, the same is true Federally.
(3) In Texas, there is no law that prevents me as a private employer from drug testing him; and, in fact, the same is true Federally.

He, of course, doesn't know the law. He just hears his friends and the pro-marijuana idiots in the media. When I asked him who told him that private company employers couldn't drug test their employees, he had no answer...of course.

I had to remind him that of one of his buddies from high school - last year's Class of 2014 - is already in jail for drug arrests. Whatever these idiot kids think they know about drug laws is, as far as I can tell, about 180 degrees around from the truth. Sadly.

His problem is, he has already had the problem at college where he was arrested for having paraphernalia and possession of dope. He somehow kept his mother, my sister-in-law, from finding out about the arrest and has ridden out his probation without being caught again.

I discovered the arrest when I tried to get him licensed after I hired him. I agreed to not tell his mom why his licensing was being delayed - and, possibly, rejected - on the promise that he quit. He assured me that he had.

Anyway, he is apparently stupid and, for God knows what reason, thinks I don't know anything about marijuana. He is either a very, very stupid or a very, very ignorant kid. Up to this point, I've given him the benefit of the doubt and erred on the side of ignorant.

However, seven weeks into this thing and I'm flipping to the "he's stupid" route and giving him the hard option of quitting the dope or having me fire him, kick his as*s out, and then leaving it to him to explain it all to his mom.

I hope he will turn it around; but, I'm quickly tiring of it. I have a business to run. I've got two children of my own at home younger than age 10. I'm not putting up with a 19 year old nephew's marijuana bullsh*t - either at work or home. I'm just not.

The quicker he grows up, the better. And, if he doesn't want to grow up, that's fine, too; but, get out of my house and business and quit lying to me. Go back to waiting tables, smoking dope at night with your friends, and living in a 600 square foot apartment.

In short, get to your failure of a life sooner - I will not impede the stupid from being stupid. If he wants to blow up his brain cells with drugs, that's his call. But, don't f'ing tell me you are sorry about your arrest, want a second chance, have quit, then be carrying on with it in my house and cashing payroll checks from my company. Lying sack of frog barf.

F'ing time waste...and payroll waste. And, as a favor to my wife as well. The thing that will **** me off the most out of all of it is that if he f*cks up and I have to kick his as*s out, my wife will likely be in tears and emotional about for weeks.

[Tear Down This Wall]

Wow...how timely - Colorado's Supreme Court ruled today that MMJ users can still be fired:
http://news.yahoo.com/colorado-court-decide-employees-smoke-pot-off-duty-062649973.html?soc_src=mediacontentsharebuttons&so c_trk=ma

Just one more thing to tell my nephew: "You can't even get away with it in Colorado, where it is 'legal.'"

[SicEmBaylor]

Wow...how timely - Colorado's Supreme Court ruled today that MMJ users can still be fired:
http://news.yahoo.com/colorado-court-decide-employees-smoke-pot-off-duty-062649973.html?soc_src=mediacontentsharebuttons&soc_trk=ma

Just one more thing to tell my nephew: "You can't even get away with it in Colorado, where it is 'legal.'"

It should still be up to the employer, but anti-marijuana laws are unjust and absolutely crazy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with smoking marijuana sans obvious situations like driving, working, operating machinery, etc. But it's absolutely comparable to drinking alcohol with, frankly, better side effects.

Legalize it completely. No regulations, no taxes, absolute legalization.

[yermom]

i'm as pro-pot as the next guy, but when you live with your boss that's not cool with it, it's probably not a good idea.

[Tear Down This Wall]

i'm as pro-pot as the next guy, but when you live with your boss that's not cool with it, it's probably not a good idea.

Yes, well, that's why I've flipped from thinking he's simply ignorant to he's really stupid. Which, again, is fine. But, go be stupid with your dopehead friends and quit lying to me and my wife about what your intentions are. Typical drug user, I suppose.

[SicEmBaylor]

Yes, well, that's why I've flipped from thinking he's simply ignorant to he's really stupid. Which, again, is fine. But, go be stupid with your dopehead friends and quit lying to me and my wife about what your intentions are. Typical drug user, I suppose.

Pot is not a drug.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Pot is not a drug.

Are Cocaine and Heroin?

[jkm, the stolen pifwafwi]

Pot is not a drug.

drug (noun) - 1. a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.

This includes a whole host of things from water to salt to caffeine to nicotine to THC.

drug (noun) - 2. a substance taken for its narcotic or stimulant effects, often illegally

now this narrows it down to caffeine, nicotine, and THC


TDTW is learning something that he would normally have learned when his kids turned 15-16. That dependence, which is the unconscious desire/habit to do something, is crazy hard to shake when a kid finds their fatal flaw substance (in my kid's case it was the internet).

[SicEmBaylor]

Are Cocaine and Heroin?

Yes

[Eielson]

in my kid's case it was the internet

Is the internet a drug?

[Turd_Ferguson]

Yes

Is Natty Light?

[SicEmBaylor]

Is Natty Light?

Water is not a drug, no.

[TAFBSooner]

Pot is not a drug.

Because it's a plant? Or more specifically a non-processed plant?

Because alcohol, cocaine, and heroin are all processed plants. (OK, fermented mare's milk exists, so they're all processed organic material.)

This is the first I've seen this particular claim. So please explain.

[TAFBSooner]

Is the internet a drug?

My drug of choice is printer's ink, taken optically.

[olevetonahill]

Water is not a drug, no.

Yer a Moran Son. Pure and simple a ****in Moran!

[Tear Down This Wall]

drug (noun) - 1. a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.

This includes a whole host of things from water to salt to caffeine to nicotine to THC.

drug (noun) - 2. a substance taken for its narcotic or stimulant effects, often illegally

now this narrows it down to caffeine, nicotine, and THC


TDTW is learning something that he would normally have learned when his kids turned 15-16. That dependence, which is the unconscious desire/habit to do something, is crazy hard to shake when a kid finds their fatal flaw substance (in my kid's case it was the internet).

No, not exactly. I was a teenager in the 80s. I understand the drug and alcohol scene well, mainly from deaths. I also had a brother-in-law die of a heroine overdose at the age of 18. He'd been busted several times before that, at school and at home, with dope.

My problem with my nephew is that he came to us wanting a summer job. Okay, we talked it over with his mom and I stuck my neck out to try to help the kid. This dope thing he got in trouble for, he hid from me until I tried to get him licensed, then found out about his arrest during the application/background check process.

Needless to say, I wasn't happy about it. He then said his probation was almost over, "don't tell my mom, please," I don't smoke it anymore, etc. All that good bullsh*t.

This weekend some of his college friends came over and they all drove into Dallas for the Taste of Dallas thing Sunday. I walk by his car Monday morning on the way to my car and glance into his car and see the same sh*t he got busted for at school - paraphernalia for smoking dope.

I couldn't give less a f*ck about dopers if I tried. Go do your dope. It's your brain to kill, not mine. But...I've got two kids in my house that I'm not exposing to that. And, again, he's lied about what he's doing. We don't hire people who are involved with dope, and I'm not making an exception for family.

He'll be drug-tested - which he's angry and p*ssed off about - on July 1. I could give a f*ck. When he flunks it, I will fire him, send him back to his mother, and let the sh*t fall where it may between the two of them.

My guess is, he will go back to waiting tables, move into a small apartment with his dopehead friends, and spend all of his free time stoned. Whatever. I'm done with him.

I could have hired a legitimate intern from the UNT Risk and Insurance program just up the road who might have been grateful enough to have a paid summer internship. I gave a nephew a chance as a favor to my wife and her sister instead. It's not working. Lesson learned...one I already knew: don't trust dopeheads to be truthful.

Stupid. To top it all off, this morning I took him to a meeting with one of the chain restaurants we insure. We're meeting with their risk management guy and my nephew can only talk about how much money we must be making. The guy finally said, the money isn't everything, I like working in the restaurant industry.

It was embarrassing to me. But, hopefully the guy understood that my nephew is a (dumbsh*t) kid and can't think of anything about businesses other than they must be making money.

On the way back to the office, he then had the nerve to bitch about his paycheck. This stupid kid. I had to explain to him that, yes, we take the taxes out of his check because we follow the law. He said the restaurant he worked for at school didn't do that. I told him I couldn't give less of a sh*t what the restaurant back at his school does, we follow the law.

Stupid.

[Tear Down This Wall]

Because it's a plant? Or more specifically a non-processed plant?

Because alcohol, cocaine, and heroin are all processed plants. (OK, fermented mare's milk exists, so they're all processed organic material.)

This is the first I've seen this particular claim. So please explain.

No. This is a Rand Paul person. Nothing he says will ever make any sense. He likely lives, like Rand, in the imaginary Ayn Rand alternate universe that so many libertarians do.

I don't vote because I think they are all lying sacks of sh*t. But, if it ever came down to a libertarian versus a democrat, I'd flip the switch for the democrat. At least with the democrat, I'd know what kind of sh*t to avoid stepping in. With libertarians...there's so much paranoia and cospiracy garbage, there's no telling what one of them might do if elected.

[Turd_Ferguson]

FYI, pot smokers no how to get by a whiz quiz. Knew a guy in Memphis that was a pilot for FedEx and he smoked. He bought some kind of Root stuff from GNC to get past the monthly test. That was back in the late 80's...I'm sure they have something even better now.

[ouwasp]

Potheads that think the world should accommodate their indulgence irritate me to no end.

OP: Stand your ground. Do your part in the war on stupid.

[SicEmBaylor]

No. This is a Rand Paul person. Nothing he says will ever make any sense. He likely lives, like Rand, in the imaginary Ayn Rand alternate universe that so many libertarians do.

I don't vote because I think they are all lying sacks of sh*t. But, if it ever came down to a libertarian versus a democrat, I'd flip the switch for the democrat. At least with the democrat, I'd know what kind of sh*t to avoid stepping in. With libertarians...there's so much paranoia and cospiracy garbage, there's no telling what one of them might do if elected.

I'm not a libertarian, and Paul isn't an Objectivist -- but keep trying! You're on as good a roll with political prognosticating and analysis as you are at football. You can't tell the difference between political philosophy and the personal traits of a small slice of those who practice that philosophy. I don't know what your forte is, but this and football isn't it. Have you considered fly fishing?

[olevetonahill]

TDTW is an Arshole
Dude has been a dick to this nephew from the start!
Sorry TDTW but maybe you should have Given the Kid a chance instead Of just"Saying your giving him a Shot!"
It sounds like YOU Have been a Judgmental ArseHole from the start !~

[colleyvillesooner]

:pop:

[Turd_Ferguson]

If there's two things I can't stand, it's judgmental people and pot heads.

[Eielson]

If there's two things I can't stand, it's judgmental people and pot heads.

Ha! I see what you did there.

I think.

[Tear Down This Wall]

I'm not a libertarian, and Paul isn't an Objectivist -- but keep trying! You're on as good a roll with political prognosticating and analysis as you are at football. You can't tell the difference between political philosophy and the personal traits of a small slice of those who practice that philosophy. I don't know what your forte is, but this and football isn't it. Have you considered fly fishing?

I understand fully that Rand, like his dad, has had to tone down his public comments and "shed" the libertarian label for the sake of elections. But, they are what they are: libertarians...and, as full of sh*t as most libertarians.

To me, Rand and his dad are like the Clintons being passed off as "moderates." Like all politicians, they lie to get elected. Rand Paul is no different. He hides what he has to publicly these days.

[Tear Down This Wall]

TDTW is an Arshole
Dude has been a dick to this nephew from the start!
Sorry TDTW but maybe you should have Given the Kid a chance instead Of just"Saying your giving him a Shot!"
It sounds like YOU Have been a Judgmental ArseHole from the start !~

So, I can send him to your house to smoke dope and eat your food this summer while you give him a paycheck?

[Tear Down This Wall]

Potheads that think the world should accommodate their indulgence irritate me to no end.

OP: Stand your ground. Do your part in the war on stupid.

We have and are. Sent his home last night to his mom; she sent him back this morning. She's coming up this weekend for the Father's Day/Wife's Birthday thing we have every year.

She's as tired of his sh*t as we are. When he flunks the drug test, she'll pull the plug on his car, insurance, and cell phone, and tell him to go waste his time on his own dime.

So...shortly, it'll be back to waiting table and scratching by in little apartments with his dope smoking buddies from high school - only he'll be footing the bill for everything he does from that point on. We'll see how long that lasts.

I look at this nephew and compare this to my other nephew who also just finished his first year of college. Other nephew is spending the summer living in Taiwan. Last summer, after high school, he was accepted into a State Department program where he lived with a family in China for a couple of months.

That kid is squared away. He's studied Chinese for so long that when he got to college this year, he placed into their upper class level Chinese classes. He wants to work at the State Department or CIA when he graduates.

Two nephews. Both 19. One achieving at a high level, setting and reaching goals; the other p*ssing his time away with dope. Ain't that America.

[Tear Down This Wall]

The upshot to this is - if there is any - is that I have more of a feeling of how Bob Stoops must feel when he gives dope smoking kids a second chance, and they continue to f*ck up anyway.

Crazy. And, some say dope isn't addictive.

[the_ouskull]

Yes, well, that's why I've flipped from thinking he's simply ignorant to he's really stupid. Which, again, is fine. But, go be stupid with your dopehead friends and quit lying to me and my wife about what your intentions are. Typical drug user, I suppose.

Stupid IS the new ignorant.

Kids aren't getting enough of the "common sense" education that we got, simply due to not having the deluge of electronic/social distractions that they have. Couple that with the fact that their secondary schooling is no longer teaching students how to think critically, due to the failures of federal/state education mandates like NCLB and Common Core, and yeah... kids are just dumb-as-**** now days.

Ignorance used to have an element of instinct to it; you may not know what you were "supposed" to know, but there was a part of you, somewhere, that at least told you that there was something missing on your end. Now, kids don't have that. If they THINK something, that's enough for them, whether or not what they THINK is actually correct. They have the entirety of the world's accumulated knowledge resting on their f*cking HIP, and still can't be bothered to read any of it.

THAT'S kids now days. Good luck.

the_ouskull

[Tear Down This Wall]

Stupid IS the new ignorant.

Kids aren't getting enough of the "common sense" education that we got, simply due to not having the deluge of electronic/social distractions that they have. Couple that with the fact that their secondary schooling is no longer teaching students how to think critically, due to the failures of federal/state education mandates like NCLB and Common Core, and yeah... kids are just dumb-as-**** now days.

Ignorance used to have an element of instinct to it; you may not know what you were "supposed" to know, but there was a part of you, somewhere, that at least told you that there was something missing on your end. Now, kids don't have that. If they THINK something, that's enough for them, whether or not what they THINK is actually correct. They have the entirety of the world's accumulated knowledge resting on their f*cking HIP, and still can't be bothered to read any of it.

THAT'S kids now days. Good luck.

the_ouskull

Can't argue with any of that.

[TAFBSooner]

I'm not a libertarian, and Paul isn't an Objectivist -- but keep trying! You're on as good a roll with political prognosticating and analysis as you are at football. You can't tell the difference between political philosophy and the personal traits of a small slice of those who practice that philosophy. I don't know what your forte is, but this and football isn't it. Have you considered fly fishing?

That's all well and good, but I still want to hear about how pot isn't a drug. :pop:

[Tear Down This Wall]

Dear Olevet,
The dope smoking nephew is gone. He's free to live with you for the rest of the summer. All you have to do is give him a paycheck, buy his food, give him a room to play XBox and watch Netflix, and let him smoke up as much as he wants.

I'm not sure if his mama will continue paying for his car, insurance, and cell phone. My guess is, no. But, perhaps you can pick up those expenses for him as well so that he can continue to smoke his dope unabated and free from the stifling confines of reality.

Love,
TDTW

[badger]

Good for you for sticking to your hard line discipline, TDTW. As a mommy of a 3-year-old, it's something I'm still learning how to do.

I wish people knew how much other people depended on them to be mentally and physically able to do what they are 100 percent capable of in a sound state of body and mind... in short, what they're able to do when not on drugs. Then, maybe they would have less of a reason to act so selfish.

I have never been tempted to smoke anything. However, I am quickly dropping every unhealthy habit and picking up every healthy habit I can now that I have a toddler emulating me.

Decades from now, we're sadly going to see the after effects of this new level of high that advanced pot (not the pot of previous generations that's not nearly as potent) that's going around now. Death from eating too many pot brownies in Colorado is just the beginning. JUST SAY NO, people. And I know it makes me the most uncool, old fart to utter those three words.

[olevetonahill]

Dear Olevet,
The dope smoking nephew is gone. He's free to live with you for the rest of the summer. All you have to do is give him a paycheck, buy his food, give him a room to play XBox and watch Netflix, and let him smoke up as much as he wants.

I'm not sure if his mama will continue paying for his car, insurance, and cell phone. My guess is, no. But, perhaps you can pick up those expenses for him as well so that he can continue to smoke his dope unabated and free from the stifling confines of reality.

Love,
TDTW

I replied but guess it dint post oh well. Personally i would have never agreed to take him in the 1st place.
Im saying that from the appearance of your very 1st post a few months back you had already Judged the kid and found him wanting, But you were going to Give him a chance, My take is you never did give him that chance.But simply set him up to fail.

Have a Nice life and continue to think you have done something noble!

[Tear Down This Wall]

I replied but guess it dint post oh well. Personally i would have never agreed to take him in the 1st place.
Im saying that from the appearance of your very 1st post a few months back you had already Judged the kid and found him wanting, But you were going to Give him a chance, My take is you never did give him that chance.But simply set him up to fail.

Have a Nice life and continue to think you have done something noble!

How did I not give him a chance? I kept his marijuana arrest he had a few months ago from his mother. I employed him and offered him a chance to be licensed and learn how to earn a living. All he had to do was pass a drug test on July 1 to prove that he'd quit smoking dope.

He had a chance. He chose dope. I gave the chance to him instead of doing what we normally do - hire an intern from a local college for the summer.

He is now free to smoke ... wherever he ends up after his mom shows him the door. He'll learn the hard way that adults not named Federal Government don't cotton to handing you money and opportunities if you are going to be a dopehead.

[olevetonahill]

How did I not give him a chance? I kept his marijuana arrest he had a few months ago from his mother. I employed him and offered him a chance to be licensed and learn how to earn a living. All he had to do was pass a drug test on July 1 to prove that he'd quit smoking dope.

He had a chance. He chose dope. I gave the chance to him instead of doing what we normally do - hire an intern from a local college for the summer.

He is now free to smoke ... wherever he ends up after his mom shows him the door. He'll learn the hard way that adults not named Federal Government don't cotton to handing you money and opportunities if you are going to be a dopehead.

Like I say, Not my Monkeys Not my Circus. I dont really care. have a great one.

[Tear Down This Wall]

Good for you for sticking to your hard line discipline, TDTW. As a mommy of a 3-year-old, it's something I'm still learning how to do.

I wish people knew how much other people depended on them to be mentally and physically able to do what they are 100 percent capable of in a sound state of body and mind... in short, what they're able to do when not on drugs. Then, maybe they would have less of a reason to act so selfish.

I have never been tempted to smoke anything. However, I am quickly dropping every unhealthy habit and picking up every healthy habit I can now that I have a toddler emulating me.

Decades from now, we're sadly going to see the after effects of this new level of high that advanced pot (not the pot of previous generations that's not nearly as potent) that's going around now. Death from eating too many pot brownies in Colorado is just the beginning. JUST SAY NO, people. And I know it makes me the most uncool, old fart to utter those three words.

It's fine. We're at the age where we don't have to be "cool" to 19-year olds. He's old enough to know better. He took all the freebies - car, insurance, clothing, and cell phone from his mom and a job opportunity and place to live from us - and spit on it over dope.

The crazy thing is his attitude. I told him that no matter where he applied to work, they'd drug test him. His response: "That's their problem."

I said, "It's not a problem for them. They'll just hire someone who will take and pass a drug test."

His response: "I'll work somewhere that they don't make you take a drug test."

Me: "Well, good luck with that."

Again, some choose the harder path through life. This nephew is going to be one of them. At his rate of stupidity between the weed and girlfriend he can't live without texting every 43 seconds, he'll likely become an unemployed baby-daddy before he's 21.

And, in his mind, it'll be "That's their problem." Life is so doggone easy when it's always someone else's problem.

[Soonerjeepman]

TDTW..yup you DID give him a chance...you had guidelines and he didn't stick to them. That is on HIM.

Good job...

[Tear Down This Wall]

TDTW..yup you DID give him a chance...you had guidelines and he didn't stick to them. That is on HIM.

Good job...

Yes. But, you see the problem - everyone will have guidelines for him no matter where he works. And, this kid just doesn't like them. Well, at the end of the day, just grow up, son.

Because he's flunked out of college, he's going down the path where he'll always have to take jobs that are low skill...and, that drug test before and after hiring.

It's horrifying because this is family. This kid, when he was little, we'd be taking him to Chuck E Cheese, buy him legos and sh*t for his birthday. You know, he was a kid we watched grow up.

Now, he's this insolent 19-year old young man. We know this isn't the way he was raised. Seeing this kid flips my mindset on parenting - it ain't always the parents' fault. This kid had lots of people chipping in for him and watching out for him along the way.

And, a hardworking mother who bent over backwards for that kid for years. Worked nights, weekends, everything so he could do things with the kids his age all the time. A true, hardworking single mom and this is what he thinks it's all about?

[badger]

And, a hardworking mother who bent over backwards for that kid for years. Worked nights, weekends, everything so he could do things with the kids his age all the time. A true, hardworking single mom and this is what he thinks it's all about?

I'm sure she still finds a way to blame herself though, sadly. Parents are weird like that.

I googled what jobs didn't have drug testing... and the first return was a weed message board. Sounds like options limited to fast food and retail non-managerial positions. Some have pre-employment ones, but they discussed work around with those... complaining a lot is apparently a solution.

With his zero responsibility other-people's-problems mentality, it is probably best that you cut him loose asap. Drugs are not cheap for regular users and when the only work they can have is minimum wage, they need to make up their shortfall somewhere, whether it's from your wallet or your kid's piggy bank :(

[Tear Down This Wall]

I'm sure she still finds a way to blame herself though, sadly. Parents are weird like that.

I googled what jobs didn't have drug testing... and the first return was a weed message board. Sounds like options limited to fast food and retail non-managerial positions. Some have pre-employment ones, but they discussed work around with those... complaining a lot is apparently a solution.

With his zero responsibility other-people's-problems mentality, it is probably best that you cut him loose asap. Drugs are not cheap for regular users and when the only work they can have is minimum wage, they need to make up their shortfall somewhere, whether it's from your wallet or your kid's piggy bank :(

Well, he's from a smallish town south of Fort Worth. So, it'll either be the doughnut shop he worked at in the mornings while he was in high school, or one of the non-"national chain" restaurants in town. Like most dopesmokers, he reacts to life instead of planning for it. I guess that's what happens when you are voluntarily whiling the hours away on weed.

He's also stupid enough that I think he'll get his girlfriend pregnant, so...hope doughnut sales go through the roof for the kid. Children are expensive - whether you voluntarily support them as the baby daddy or whether the state is enforcing child support.

[badger]

Why was my first thought when you mentioned getting girlfriend pregnant "that's her problem" :(

[Breadburner]

Ron Paul is a ******'....

[BermudaSooner]

So...are the drug test results back?

[Tear Down This Wall]

He wouldn't take the test. Sent him back home. First place he applied back home required a drug test as well. He wouldn't take that one either, and is still unemployed at this point.

His mom has given him two months to get a job and start paying her rent for living at home or she'll kick him out as well.

I don't think reality will set in until his girlfriend goes back to college next month and he's sitting there without a job, without p*ssy, and his mom on his as*s every day about getting a job.

Girlfriend likely won't wait for him once she's back at school and has other guys around her again who are going ahead and getting educated, figuring out life, and playing by the rules. That'll eat at him. But, who know, maybe it'll wake him up as well.

Stupid. All for a drug...that they say isn't addictive.

[badger]

Tough love works wonders. Unfortunately, some people need to hit rock bottom before they'll shape up.

While good to set a deadline, two months is a long time. I hope she has her valuables and wallet under close watch, or they might end supporting the drug habit :(