Declaration of War [Archive] - SoonerFans.com Message Boards

SicEmBaylor

10/27/2013, 05:46 PM

I, as Baylor ambassador and personal representative of President Ken Starr, hereby inform SoonerFans that a state of war exists between the Baylor nation and you treacherous land thieves to our north.

Granted the outcome of this engagement is anything but certain. Oklahoma is like the old British Empire -- steeped in history, tradition, and success that is astounding. As Britain was a small nation; Oklahoma is a small state. Both hit well above their weight class. However, like the British, Oklahoma's power is waning. The cracks are becoming increasingly evident and the threats to its once proud tradition are numerous and increasingly difficult to defend against.

We, on the other hand, are like America. Nothing says America like Baylor. We're an upstart that is quickly gaining in power and threatening the traditional imperial power of the Sooner Nation. There are many who discount this rise wishing to believe we are who we were and not who we are. They do so at their own peril for our success is your loss. Whereas many once flocked to the Sooner Nation for fame and glory, they now seek it in Waco with every LOI signed.

So let notice be served -- when you invade our shores on the 7th, we will push you back into the sea. Led by field General Bryce Petty, we will assault you through the air, land, and Seastrunk. Like the French in '40, we will destroy your defense with a blitzkrieg never seen before on this continent. Valley Mills Drive will be your Dunkirk; however, unlike the Germans, we will not take the foot off the gas or allow your escape. The end is nigh, Sooners. You had your time at the forefront of history, but the clock is running out.

Deep in the planning rooms of the Highers Compex, The Architect of your destruction (http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/9861289/chris-brown-how-art-briles-potent-offense-made-baylor-national-title-contender) is hard at work crafting the final nails of the Sooner coffin. The odds are ever in our favor.

King Crimson

10/27/2013, 05:50 PM

i get banner ads on this site for "male gamers only". chronic masturbators who like to nail elf cartoon chicks.

or a lot of online colleges.

both of those make me think of Baylor.

picasso

10/27/2013, 06:01 PM

It's a battle not a war. The war was over for Baylor in the beginning.

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 06:02 PM

i get banner ads on this site for "male gamers only". chronic masturbators who like to nail elf cartoon chicks.

or a lot of online colleges.

both of those make me think of Baylor.

Heh, Just Like OU will do to Baylor, I banished Adds from my presence,

King Crimson

10/27/2013, 06:13 PM

howya doing vet?

King Crimson

10/27/2013, 06:14 PM

pic, too. this is some old school soonerfans.com asskicking here

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 06:16 PM

howya doing vet?

great and you? Drop by the hideout from time to time and say hello.

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 06:19 PM

Should we Tell Sic that when His team shows up with their Paintball guns that we gonna show with our Strykers?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7DT3ES_Oj0o/TAxFoTMRrKI/AAAAAAAAAAY/VCuOybJ-k0Y/s1600/Stryker_ATGM_Anti-Tank_Armoured_Vehicle_USA_03.jpg

King Crimson

10/27/2013, 06:20 PM

great and you? Drop by the hideout from time to time and say hello.

i will do that. i kinda miss you guys. i have quit teaching college and have a japanese gf. she wants me to move to tokyo. i like it here....but i like her, too. not sure what to do. what's the new thing in Wister?

cvsooner

10/27/2013, 06:27 PM

The only connection between Baylor and America is religious fanatics who believe in fairy tales.

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 06:28 PM

i will do that. i kinda miss you guys. i have quit teaching college and have a japanese gf. she wants me to move to tokyo. i like it here....but i like her, too. not sure what to do. what's the new thing in Wister?

Wister Never changes Bro

Ya do know that there are OTHER Wimmens out there dont ya?
I might go fer a Visit But to MOVE? No way.

SicEmBaylor

10/27/2013, 06:49 PM

SicEmBaylor

10/27/2013, 06:50 PM

The only connection between Baylor and America are religious fanatics who believe in fairy tales.
fify
...and proper grammar. We believe in proper grammar. :D

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 06:53 PM

We will see when Stryker takes Petty's head off a few times.

yankee

10/27/2013, 06:54 PM

Someone really needs to get laid.

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 07:01 PM

Someone really needs to get laid.

Hell Bikers have bent him over his Miata, It aint helped.

King Crimson

10/27/2013, 07:02 PM

Wister Never changes Bro

Ya do know that there are OTHER Wimmens out there dont ya?
I might go fer a Visit But to MOVE? No way.

kinda my thinking....visit. but she ain't buying it. she's great tho.

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 07:05 PM

kinda my thinking....visit. but she ain't buying it. she's great tho.

She best be an 11 an able to suck a Bowling ball thru a garden hose if she wanted ME to move to Japan. Course I dont get along so well with them asian types if ya know what I mean , Could a GF but not the whole dayum country.:wink:

King Crimson

10/27/2013, 07:12 PM

She best be an 11 an able to suck a Bowling ball thru a garden hose if she wanted ME to move to Japan. Course I dont get along so well with them asian types if ya know what I mean , Could a GF but not the whole dayum country.:wink:

i'm prolly punching above my weight a little with her but i don't know. that's how i do. i always thought i might live abroad a little but i was thinking more like south american gals or italy or something. i like it out here west, open skies and whatnot. tokyo seems a little closed in to me. a few days in NYC and i feel like i'm in jail ya know. expensive, too. tokyo. i kinda like just being alive....not paying for every breath i take.

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 07:28 PM

i'm prolly punching above my weight a little with her but i don't know. that's how i do. i always thought i might live abroad a little but i was thinking more like south american gals or italy or something. i like it out here west, open skies and whatnot. tokyo seems a little closed in to me. a few days in NYC and i feel like i'm in jail ya know. expensive, too. tokyo. i kinda like just being alive....not paying for every breath i take.

I might go South to some Beach country But doubt I couls Live in Tokyo Hell I couldnt Live in Tulsa Or OKC. I need my space.

Next time Ya see KantoSooner on PEEM him I think he lived there a bunch of years.

King Crimson

10/27/2013, 07:37 PM

I might go South to some Beach country But doubt I couls Live in Tokyo Hell I couldnt Live in Tulsa Or OKC. I need my space.

Next time Ya see KantoSooner on PEEM him I think he lived there a bunch of years.

i feel ya. your track record with the wimmins is pretty strong. no? prolific at least as i recall.....:panda:

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 07:45 PM

i feel ya. your track record with the wimmins is pretty strong. no? prolific at least as i recall.....:panda:

.h.ad moren A.D. I think. cept I married 3 of em :surprise:

OUinFLA

10/27/2013, 07:58 PM

well this thread sure changed direction.

probably for the better

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 08:03 PM

well this thread sure changed direction.

probably for the better

:wink:

FirstandGoal

10/27/2013, 09:04 PM

well this thread sure changed direction.

probably for the better

Jury is still out on that I think

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 09:10 PM

Jury is still out on that I think

Heh, How Ya been?

FirstandGoal

10/27/2013, 09:16 PM

Heh, How Ya been?

Just got back home earlier today.

It was a good week.

olevetonahill

10/27/2013, 09:21 PM

Just got back home earlier today.

It was a good week.

Glad ya had a Good time.

cleller

10/27/2013, 09:33 PM

Baylor is a pan waiting for a flash.

picasso

10/27/2013, 09:34 PM

The only connection between Baylor and America is religious fanatics who believe in fairy tales.

Let's not go that direction.

KC! I do love Japanese art.

stoopified

10/27/2013, 09:54 PM

Baylor? Who is afaraid of Babtists?

SicEmBaylor

10/27/2013, 09:56 PM

"Baylor? Who is afaraid of Babtists?" ~Bob Stoops, November 18th, 2011
Indeed.

OU_Sooners75

10/27/2013, 11:14 PM

All I read was, "blah blah blah, I'm a big fat Zima drinking b*tch!"

SicEmBaylor

10/27/2013, 11:21 PM

All I read was, "blah blah blah, I'm a short skinny Zima drinking b*tch!"
fify

OU_Sooners75

10/27/2013, 11:27 PM

All I read was, "blah blah blah, I'm a short skinny Zima drinking b*tch!"
fify

You're a lazy politician that happens to be a Baptist...no way your short and skinny. Maybe short and fat...lol

SicEmBaylor

10/28/2013, 12:49 AM

You're a lazy politician that happens to be a Baptist...no way your short and skinny. Maybe short and fat...lol
Heh, I promise I'm short and thin.

sendbaht

10/28/2013, 04:07 AM

funny stuff, well written, funny though...OSU cowboys writes stuff like this about every 8 years. You are good and deserve to blow your horn some...but this is one of those once in a decade good teams...enjoy it...while you can..

ObiKaTony

10/28/2013, 07:26 AM

freshchris05

10/28/2013, 08:20 AM

Rawr go bears! Hey remember that one time we beat you guys? You know, that one time.

http://t.qkme.me/3p7e9v.jpg

SoonerInFortSmith

10/28/2013, 08:50 AM

So are we the Brits and Baylor is America? Or are we the French and you are nazis? Or are you Mexico and we're Spain? Or are we Teddy Roosevelt and you're a moose? I feel like the royal Canadian mounted police should be somehow involved as well.

LiBeartarian

10/28/2013, 10:24 AM

On a serious note. How do you guys signal surrender? Lower your flag? Jump into that wagon thingy?

olevetonahill

10/28/2013, 10:29 AM

On a serious note. How do you guys signal surrender? Lower your flag? Jump into that wagon thingy?

Oh Look another bearclown:surprise: Aint they cute?

http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/PA-15625404.jpg

badger

10/28/2013, 10:49 AM

On a serious note. How do you guys signal surrender? Lower your flag? Jump into that wagon thingy?

Hide under your endzone tarp. lots of legroom and empty seats, kind of like the rest of the stadium

olevetonahill

10/28/2013, 10:51 AM

Hide under your endzone tarp. lots of legroom and empty seats, kind of like the rest of the stadium

I heard they aint leaving their tickets in the fence for this one Badj . They gettin up to 5 bucks a piece fer em.

badger

10/28/2013, 10:54 AM

I heard they aint leaving their tickets in the fence for this one Badj . They gettin up to 5 bucks a piece fer em.

Wow, that's five times face value! Do they still come attached with coupons for free Dr. Pepper if you stay until halftime?

KantoSooner

10/28/2013, 12:38 PM

I await beliicose email from Colorado State, Furman, Central Dakota Tech and UMass-Amherst at any minute.

olevetonahill

10/28/2013, 12:57 PM

Wow, that's five times face value! Do they still come attached with coupons for free Dr. Pepper if you stay until halftime?

No Clue, Ive never made a game there and Prolly NEVER will.

badger

10/28/2013, 01:08 PM

http://i44.tinypic.com/23jpv7b.png

Eielson

10/28/2013, 01:47 PM

England would have ripped us a new one if it weren't for the Atlantic Ocean. I think we'll be fine.

badger

10/28/2013, 01:50 PM

England would have ripped us a new one if it weren't for the Atlantic Ocean. I think we'll be fine.

So the Atlantic Ocean is the time between Tech and Baylor games

SoonerInFortSmith

10/28/2013, 03:33 PM

England would have ripped us a new one if it weren't for the Atlantic Ocean. I think we'll be fine.

So the Atlantic Ocean is the time between Tech and Baylor games

Or is it the Red River?

cvsooner

10/28/2013, 03:53 PM

I just hope we don't have to flip the channel over to Fox News for this one, though maybe sicem's 'declaration of war' might get them interested.

Saturday was the first time in my life I've ever willingly flipped the tv to Fox News.

I had to laugh when I saw FN's ratings for that timeslot on Saturday were higher than usual...directly attributed to the game.

David Earl

10/28/2013, 04:18 PM

In 1948 Baylor played Wake Forest in the Dixie Bowl.

Wake Forest.

Dixie Bowl!!

Therefore, they are not very good this year.

KantoSooner

10/28/2013, 04:21 PM

England would have ripped us a new one if it weren't for the Atlantic Ocean. I think we'll be fine.

And it must be admitted that the French navy and about 20,000 French infantry didn't hurt, either. Both at Yorktown and menacing the Brits sugar plantations in the Caribbean. We were just a little part of a global war between France and Britain. The Brits won, but lost us.

badger

10/28/2013, 04:32 PM

In 2005, it took overtime for Baylor to lose to us in Norman.

Overtime.

Norman.

Therefore, they are not very good this year.

SicEmBaylor

10/28/2013, 04:47 PM

So the Atlantic Ocean is the time between Tech and Baylor games

This is an excellent analogy and an underrated post.

cvsooner

10/28/2013, 04:50 PM

Sicem wrote: "I, as Baylor ambassador and personal representative of President Ken Starr,"

That association alone should be enough to either shame you or get you banned from the country...

"...hereby inform SoonerFans that a state of war exists between the Baylor nation and you treacherous land thieves to our north...."

So says the guy from the state who stole their land from the Comanche and the Mexicans...who fought a famous battle (that they lost! But state history books count as a victory!) in an attempt to preserve their right to...own slaves.

And then seceded from the Union .... I'm still trying to figure out why we ever let you guys back in.

KantoSooner

10/28/2013, 04:54 PM

Have Zima and Dr. Pepper ever been mixed together to form a cocktail? No? I propose that henceforth we call such a cocktail a 'Baylor'. If one floated a shot of cheap vodka on top of it and then lit the shot, we'd call it a 'Growlin' Baylor Bear'. Attempting to drink the flaming shot, failing and igniting one's own clothing, resulting in third degree burns over most of one's upper body would be called a 'Waco' and would be considered a virtual rite of passage for young male Baylor fans. (and perhaps a certain portion of the female fans, as well.)

"Whoa! Didja see that? Dude did three Waco's back-to-back!"
"Yeah, he's a real Baylor fan."

SicEmBaylor

10/28/2013, 05:00 PM

So says the guy from the state who stole their land from the Comanche and the Mexicans...who fought a famous battle (that they lost! But state history books count as a victory!) in an attempt to preserve their right to...own slaves.

And then seceded from the Union .... I'm still trying to figure out why we ever let you guys back in.
I wish you hadn't.

I Am Right

10/28/2013, 06:20 PM

"Don't hurt him, he is a son of a Veteran"

mainline13

10/29/2013, 10:21 AM

fify
...and proper grammar. We believe in proper grammar. :D

Ok, so let me see if I got this straight. Connection (singular) are (plural).

How much did you pay for that education?

olevetonahill

10/29/2013, 10:30 AM

Ok, so let me see if I got this straight. Connection (singular) are (plural).

How much did you pay for that education?

HE dint, Momma an Daddy did, The Boy spent 8 years at Baylor and Never Gradeated.