Mack Brown is awesome...(apologizes in advance for RRR beatdown)

[DrZaius]

This is awesome...



http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month


Austin, Texas (AP) - A somber Mack Brown addressed the media today, apologizing for the Texas Longhorns’ embarrassing 66-17 loss to bitter rival Oklahoma next month.

“I want to apologize to all Texas fans in advance,” said a visibly-shaken Brown. “66-17 is unacceptable. I’m as disappointed as anybody about how the team will play against Oklahoma on October 12. But you can’t look back at next month’s loss and torture yourself with ‘What ifs?’ You have to move on.”

After brief introductory remarks, Brown donned reading glasses and read from a list of shocking statistics from the upcoming game. Brown reported that the Sooners will rush for 430 yards, pass for another 320, sack the Texas quarterback six times, and force four turnovers.

“We have to protect the ball better than we will,” reported Brown.

Despite those startling numbers, the statistics will not be all bad for Texas.

“We’ll have three explosive plays and Anthony Fera will average 4.3 seconds of hang time on eight of his twelve punts,” reported Brown. “So we’ll feel like we’re getting close in several areas.”

According to Coach Brown, his football team’s upcoming lackluster performance against its fiercest rival will come as a surprise to the coaching staff.

“Nobody sees it coming,” said Brown. “As coaches and players at Texas, you go into every game expecting to win. So we’re all going to be shocked next month, when we lose to Oklahoma by 49 points.”

Brown is no stranger to blowout losses against the Sooners. Oklahoma has beaten Texas by 38 points or more four times during Brown’s career, not including next month’s 49-point rout. When asked why the Longhorns will endure yet another lopsided defeat against a rebuilding Oklahoma team, Coach Brown threw up his hands.

“I don’t know exactly what we’ll do wrong to allow Oklahoma to beat us,” admitted Brown. “I’ll have to go back and watch the tape, which I won’t be able to do until October, after we lose the game.”

“But, whatever the specific reason turns out to be, one thing’s for sure: the players and coaches won’t do our job,” said Brown. “And that’s on me.”

But Brown will not be entirely to blame for his team’s looming 66-17 defeat, according to Brown. Other factors the Texas coach believes will play a role in Texas’s latest embarrassment include poor execution by the players, lack of preparation by assistant coaches, suboptimal hotel accommodations, distracting Longhorn Network obligations, gloomy cloud cover and/or blinding sunlight, the inequitable distribution of tackling plaguing American society, negative nellies, social media, option football, that one punt return for a touchdown that just killed us, the Rothschilds, and trying too hard.

And always classy in defeat, Coach Brown credited Oklahoma for their preparation and inspired play.

“You have to give credit to Oklahoma,” said Brown. “They’ll show up with a sound game plan, and their guys will play hard and execute.”

“Oklahoma will do what they need to win,” added Brown. “But we won’t.”

[salth2o]

love it.

:mack: is teh greatest.

[David Earl]

Hilarious!

[KantoSooner]

"We have to protect the ball better than we will."

That actually sounds like Mack.

[badger]

You know, if Mack and Co. win every game and their bowl game except for the RRS, they can still finish with a 10-win season, even without a BCS berth or a Big 12 title. That should save his job, shouldn't it?

[Bourbon St Sooner]

Now that right thar's funny. I don't caar who ya are.

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Man, that steam roller is really picking up speed...

[cherokeebrewer]

My sources tell me that Mack had this story planted just to set us up for the RRS when he pulls out his secret weapon...Tyrone Swoopes.

[dwarthog]

Classic! We're going to miss him when he's gone....

[rock on sooner]

Classic! We're going to miss him when he's gone....

Especially if the Whorns get someone like Saban as his replacement....

[Ruf/Nek7]

Sounds like a coach that has admitted to the fact that he is done.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

"the inequitable distribution of tackling plaguing American society,"

Mack has keen awareness of the PC problems facing the country:lemo:.

[Edmond Sooner]

Haaahaaaa! That's some funny stuff, there. :texan:

As I said in another thread: Mack's been great for OU in the RRR, let's face it. Four blowouts with a combined total of points that are more than UT has ever lost to another team in UT's history. That's Mack's legacy for the RRR and I, for one, wish he could stay head coach down there forever. So, for this year, I would hope Texas could eke out just enough games to let Mackie Magpie keep his job

Go, Mack go! Eke out enough wins to make it to next year! :mack:

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

Haaahaaaa! That's some funny stuff, there. :texan:

As I said in another thread: Mack's been great for OU in the RRR, let's face it. Four blowouts with a combined total of points that are more than UT has ever lost to another team in UT's history. That's Mack's legacy for the RRR and I, for one, wish he could stay head coach down there forever. So, for this year, I would hope Texas could eke out just enough games to let Mackie Magpie keep his job

Go, Mack go! Eke out enough wins to make it to next year! :mack:exactamundo for Lane Kiffin at usuc, and Will Muschamp at FU.

[stunandun]

http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month

[birddog]

Dun n dun

[BigTip]

Holy Cow!
I was crying from laughing.
Thanks.

[8timechamps]

The guy that writes that blog may be the best Longhorn fan in the country (if there is such a thing). Anyway, the laughter continues in the comments under the story:

Comment:

You thank the defense will hold them to 66? You thank the offense will score 17?You are an optimist

by super D (http://www.sbnation.com/users/super%20D) on Sep 16, 2013 | 10:15 PM (http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month#184999405) reply (http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month#)
Followed by this reply:

RememberThe entire second half will be played against random OU fans pulled from the stands as Stoops institutes “fan appreciation day”. And Mack will call time out at the end of the game in order to kick a last second field goal to make the score more respectable.
So, yeah. 66-17 sounds about right in that case.

by Longhorn in Canada (http://www.sbnation.com/users/Longhorn%20in%20Canada) on Sep 16, 2013 | 10:27 PM (http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month#185002501) up (http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month#) reply (http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month#)

[DrZaius]

This is great....
from the comments

"I just want the DeLorean so I can go back a few minutes to the time before I read this post."

[vtsooner21]

"It is what it is"...Or is that "It was what it was" ?

Boomer

[MyT Oklahoma]

Yeah I am already looking ahead to October 12th because it will be a classic bloodbath.

But still dear Lord, please, please, please don't let UT fire Mack.

[SoonerStormchaser]

Can we hire a banner plane to fly over Austin after the RRS should we destroy him yet again? "Keep Mack!"

[Aries]

"It is what it is"...Or is that "It was what it was" ?

Boomer

"It was what it will be."

[KantoSooner]

What it is is what it was, and what it was is what it shall be.

[Mac94]

They ran this piece in the Austin American Statesman yesterday, lol.

If Texas can somehow win against KSU and ISU I think Stoops needs to quasi throw this game ... whenever OU opens up a 21 point lead have the offense intentionally turn the ball over ... have the defense intentionally fall down and let Texas score. Make sure OU only wins by 10 or so points .... that way Mack and the Horn powers that be can claim progress and maybe save his job. ;)

[badger]

Once again, when it comes to saving Mack's job at Texas, it will come down to Big 12 teams tanking against him, and all 9 are already exclaiming "NOT IT" for a wide variety of reasons.

But since I couldn't bypass the opportunity to laugh at Texas losing, I tuned into the Mack Brown Show on Bevo TV last night. Cliff's Notes version:

HE IS PUBLICLY DELUSIONAL.

In private, he probably knows that this is the final season, but on Longhorn Network, he's saying that the defense played how they want them to play (granted that was during the first half when they were still leading), that they are going to compete in the Big 12, etc etc. You would have thought that they were 3-0 with a few correctable mistakes.

At this point, I see him being coaching ambassador next year, where he continues to Bevo TV crap so that the next head coach they bring in doesn't have to deal with it... because oh my god was he full of sh!t last night

[BoulderSooner79]

They ran this piece in the Austin American Statesman yesterday, lol.

If Texas can somehow win against KSU and ISU I think Stoops needs to quasi throw this game ... whenever OU opens up a 21 point lead have the offense intentionally turn the ball over ... have the defense intentionally fall down and let Texas score. Make sure OU only wins by 10 or so points .... that way Mack and the Horn powers that be can claim progress and maybe save his job. ;)

Another stomping by OU would definitely end it for the Mack era. I doubt that happens this year, but Stoops would never let up on the horns (nor should he).

[badger]

Don't get cocky boys --- our next three games are Murderer's Row:
http://i44.tinypic.com/7121r9.png

EDIT: sh!t, replace purple with other purple

[fadada1]

i hate crap like this. nothing worse than our guys taking a joke to heart, as surely some/all have read this. as we all know the cliche, "you can throw the records away for this game", nothing worse than our guys buying into the (lack of) hype that is texas football. i know our coaching staff won't allow our team to think otherwise, but DAMMIT i hate when these things pop up... funny/true as they may be.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

i hate crap like this. nothing worse than our guys taking a joke to heart, as surely some/all have read this. as we all know the cliche, "you can throw the records away for this game", nothing worse than our guys buying into the (lack of) hype that is texas football. i know our coaching staff won't allow our team to think otherwise, but DAMMIT i hate when these things pop up... funny/true as they may be.fershure. Our kids, like any college football team, are prolly susceptible to buying into all the publicity of an inept longwhorn team. Everyone, our team especially, needs to remember that the whorn players are almost all HIGHLY rated out of HS, and fully CAPABLE of playing very well, indeed!

[BoulderSooner79]

i hate crap like this. nothing worse than our guys taking a joke to heart, as surely some/all have read this. as we all know the cliche, "you can throw the records away for this game", nothing worse than our guys buying into the (lack of) hype that is texas football. i know our coaching staff won't allow our team to think otherwise, but DAMMIT i hate when these things pop up... funny/true as they may be.

Truth. And you only have to look at last year's game for proof. The results from all the common opponents last year would make one think OU and TX were pretty close with OU having a slight edge, yet we blew them out. The football gods can be fickle.

[8timechamps]

i hate crap like this. nothing worse than our guys taking a joke to heart, as surely some/all have read this. as we all know the cliche, "you can throw the records away for this game", nothing worse than our guys buying into the (lack of) hype that is texas football. i know our coaching staff won't allow our team to think otherwise, but DAMMIT i hate when these things pop up... funny/true as they may be.

We have had some teams in the past that I think may have fallen into this category. This year's team, not so much. This team has played with a chip on their shoulder from the first day of spring practice, and I don't sense any letting up in that mentality. There are too many guys fighting to get/stay on the field right now, and I don't think there is a single game they will overlook.

Secondly, you have to remember that a lot of the guys on our roster weren't offered by Texas. There's always going to be a lot of bitterness present from the Texas kids (on the OU roster), when the game is played.

I think there are enough older guys, coaches and other reminders to keep the fire burning for the young guys. Anyone that's been around either program for very long knows it does not matter what the records of the two teams are, it's a toss up.

[KantoSooner]

UT delenda est!

[BetterSoonerThanLater]

http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month

Funny stuff. Given to me by a longhorn fan

[8timechamps]

Already posted here (http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?180115-Mack-Brown-is-awesome)

It's easy to miss.

I'll merge this with that thread, but I'll leave it up for a while (so you get a chance to see it).

[IGotNoTiming]

Funny for sure but..... I can only mutter two words from my time at OU....


Peter Gardere...


That moro couldn't beat anybody but us.... I don't care if we win 3-2.... as long as we win

[Sabanball]

It would appear that the worm has completely turned inside the state of Texas--

http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/9690028/texas-raises-record-740-million-donations-fiscal-year

[stoopified]

Classic! We're going to miss him when he's gone....

True dat

[Jacie]

Actually, what was seen circulating around Austin were buzzards waiting for Mack to stop moving.

[BigTip]

Actually, what was seen circulating around Austin were buzzards waiting for Mack to stop moving.

The clapping scares the buzzards away.

[KantoSooner]

...but draws in the Hyenas.

[Sooner24]

http://www.barkingcarnival.com/2013/9/16/4739334/mack-brown-apologizes-for-66-17-loss-to-ou-next-month