Machete Kills

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Lots of star power.

SyfDoyNFTk4

[ouwasp]

that looks like a guilty pleasure I'll have to watch...

[SanJoaquinSooner]

starrrrring......

Danny Trejo
Jessica Alba
Michelle Rodriguez
Sofía Vergara
Antonio Banderas
Edward James Olmos
Vanessa Hudgens
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Alexa Vega
Lady Gaga
Mel Gibson
Carlos Estevez aka Charlie Sheen as the President of the ****ing United States!!

[olevetonahill]

If Charlie is in it Ima watchin

[KantoSooner]

Okay, spoiler alert. This movie contains two of the most awesome scences in cinematic history.

1. Danny Trejo, escaping from a hospital, uses a bolo-of-death made out of a handfull of scalpels to eviscerate a bad guy AND THEN uses the guy's entrails to swing, Tarzan style into a lower floor window.

2. Cheech Marin, playing the type catholic priest who could get me converted, firing .12 gauge sawed offs in each hand BEHIND HIS HEAD and blowing two bad guys away.

3. Close contenders, all scenes of Llindsay Lohan dressed as the skankiest nun you've ever seen AND Danny Trejo nailing Lindsay and her screen mom, in the head bad guy's pool and videoing it and leaving the video for the bad guy who's the husband and father.

This movie totally embodies style, subtlety and a nuanced take on cultural relations along our Southern border.

[ouwasp]

Kanto, Machete Kills is a sequel to Machete. So we have more over-the-top mayhem to look fwd to! Watching our hero use the intestines as a rappelling rope made me laugh so hard I hurt myself. That scene will be hard to top...

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Kanto, Machete Kills is a sequel to Machete. So we have more over-the-top mayhem to look fwd to! Watching our hero use the intestines as a rappelling rope made me laugh so hard I hurt myself. That scene will be hard to top...

Well if we're talking about awesome scenes from the original, please add the scene where a beautiful, naked Mayra Leal pulls a cell phone from her vagina to make a call.

[BigTip]

This movie totally embodies style, subtlety and a nuanced take on cultural relations along our Southern border.

Very eloquent. Well written. Captures the essence of the movie in a subtle way.
I rate your review three (out of four) keyboards.

Yes, that's right, I am America's first critic critic.

[Scott D]

you just had to stop the cast at Danny Trejo.

[KantoSooner]

Kanto, Machete Kills is a sequel to Machete. So we have more over-the-top mayhem to look fwd to! Watching our hero use the intestines as a rappelling rope made me laugh so hard I hurt myself. That scene will be hard to top...

Oh crap! I thought 'Machete Kills, Again' was the sequel. OMG! I have yet another one to see?!? I am sooo happy. My weekend is made. Yes, 6 bottles tequila, one remote, ice, A DANNY TREJO FILM FESTIVAL.

I joke, of course, but we should consider making a Trejo film fest part of football season. Maybe we could get Danny to walk out with our team captains and do the coiin toss.

[C&CDean]

Who the **** is Danny Trejo?

This sounds like a Q Tarantino flick, no?

[C&CDean]

Never mind. I just googled him. That is one fugly mother****er.

[KantoSooner]

It should have been a Tarantino flick. And Trejo is truly an ugly man.

[Scott D]

Eh Trejo is a good story. He knows he's an ugly mofo. He's also a mofo that did hard time. He's also a cool badass mofo.

[GDC]

http://www.empireonline.com/images/uploaded/387941_149680165139898_149679421806639_222169_1381 649574_n.jpg

[SanJoaquinSooner]

I just watched Desperado from 1995. A Robert Rodriquez film with bit parts for Quentin Tarantino and Danny Trejo.

http://content6.flixster.com/photo/11/54/27/11542728_gal.jpg


and I must say, Salma Hayek was at her absolute finest ...

http://image.toutlecine.com/photos/d/e/s/desperado-1995-05-m.jpg