Dean Nip

[StoopTroup]

Daughter just opened presents....

One of the gifts....

Neville Longbottom's Wand

http://www.quitebizarre.co.uk/store/images/uploads/hp_gof_wand_neville_1.jpg

[C&CDean]

I've seen Neville's wand, and it's not a red x.

[pphilfran]

I've seen Neville's wand, and it's not a red x.

It is a magic wand...it can take on any shape it wishes...

[C&CDean]

It is a magic wand...it can take on any shape it wishes...

No, it can't. He inherited his wand from his dad. It was broken during Order of the Phoenix by a deatheater. After that, he used a Hermione Granger hand-me-down.

[pphilfran]

No, it can't. He inherited his wand from his dad. It was broken during Order of the Phoenix by a deatheater. After that, he used a Hermione Granger hand-me-down.

Since this is all made up chit anyway I am adding a chapter about wand transformations...

[C&CDean]

Since this is all made up chit anyway I am adding a chapter about wand transformations...

Made up? Bite your tongue man. Besides, JK will sue your *** if you go adding chapters and ****.

[pphilfran]

Made up? Bite your tongue man. Besides, JK will sue your *** if you go adding chapters and ****.

Screw her...she is worth billions and would never go after little old me...

[C&CDean]

Screw her...she is worth billions and would never go after little old me...

She will if'n I tell her to. Besides, Mr. Ollivander and Mr. Gregorovitch will also have something to say about the matter.

[diverdog]

No, it can't. He inherited his wand from his dad. It was broken during Order of the Phoenix by a deatheater. After that, he used a Hermione Granger hand-me-down.

Geek. Lol

[Flagstaffsooner]

I have no idea what you f'in hillbillies are talking about.

[cleller]

This must be some of that Dungeons and Dragons stuff.

[pphilfran]

No, dumbazz...Peter Pan

[C&CDean]

D&D? Peter Pan? I know two posters who are teetering on the edge of bannination...

[FirstandGoal]

No, it can't. He inherited his wand from his dad. It was broken during Order of the Phoenix by a deatheater. After that, he used a Hermione Granger hand-me-down.


Of course that was only for the rest of Order. Later that summer for his birthday (July 30th) he was one of the last known people to get a wand from Ollivander's before Ollivander mysteriously disappeared. The new wand? Cherry and Unicorn.

[KantoSooner]

I'm stickinig with my Ring Of Power. Much more Germano-Nordic and thus, cleaner, purer, more masculine and all-in-all better than that crypto-Celtic wizard stuff.
Just remember that there are red haired Vikings because we carried your women off when you ran from the shores at the sight of our longboats!
Ale for the men at the oars!
Mead (and some serious hallucinogens) for the Berserkers!!

[C&CDean]

I'm stickinig with my Ring Of Power. Much more Germano-Nordic and thus, cleaner, purer, more masculine and all-in-all better than that crypto-Celtic wizard stuff.
Just remember that there are red haired Vikings because we carried your women off when you ran from the shores at the sight of our longboats!
Ale for the men at the oars!
Mead (and some serious hallucinogens) for the Berserkers!!

I'm a huge Conan fan. Only the Robert E. Howard penned ones though.

[badger]

Just for the Neville fans:
http://rawrgg.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/That-Awkward-Moment-When-Neville-Becomes-The-Hottest1.jpg

[KantoSooner]

I'm a huge Conan fan. Only the Robert E. Howard penned ones though.

See, we need an utter remake on the Potter series.

I'm seeing 30-year old Arnold as Harry.
Hermione should be Megan Fox. No question whatsoever. And she never appears on camera in anything other than a Princess Leia bronze bikini. Maybe a couple of silk scarf thingies for long horse rides through snow covered mountains, but I'm sacrificing my principles to allow that. I hope you understand.
Jack Nicholson as Dumbledore. "Y'see kids, it's all about the MAGIC, it's all in the wrist...."
Ndamakan Suh as the big harry dude, but with a real serious attitude/impulse control issue.
Ron? We bring back John Belushi. Yeah, it changes the role, but in a good way.
And to open whole new vistas, Richard Gere in a cameo playing Voldemort. Without makeup or costume. Just Gere, being himself. It'll knock people off balance, but they'll come to see the unspoken evil he implies.

Yes, it would make for a slightly more...'adult' Potter series, but the entertainment value would go through the roof. We get Tarantino to write the screenplay and direct, we'd be pure Hollywood gold, man, pure gold.

And, yes, only the Howard written Conans are worth crap.

[jk the sooner fan]

Made up? Bite your tongue man. Besides, JK will sue your *** if you go adding chapters and ****.

dont bring me into this

[FirstandGoal]

I will volunteer to play Narcissa Malfoy.


*swoons one more time for evil snakey guys*

[KantoSooner]

And we alter Harry's 'leaving home' sequence at the beginning of the movie into the same montage of tedious banalities from his foster family. But then an apocalyptic horseman pounds on the door to deliver young Harry's invite to Badass School and Arnold/Harry slaughters the famiily and turns their house into a Norse funeral pyre as a rite of passage on his way out to mount his charger and gallop off into the night.
The entire gallery inside his residential hall can, likewise, be decorated with portraits of figures such as Genghiz Khan, Geronimo, Julius Caesar, Attila the Hun, Admiral Lord Nelson, Tamerlane, Martel and other inspirational butt kickers from throughout history.

Good Lord! I'm warming to this already!

I can feel it coming. Vin Diesel is somewhere in this remake. As is The Rock. And some Kurosawa samurai types. Just because, when push comes to shove, cutting a bad guy in half with a backhand as you sink into a single knee crouch and then hold the follow through to show what superhuman control you have over your blade really is absolutely and totally badass. They could be like friends of Harry/Arnold's dad who'd heard he was in trouble and had slashed their way across Asia to come to his aid and repay a never-fully-explained debt owed to his father. (we discover in the third movie that 'Dad', portrayed by Tom Hanks, had picked up a pretty meaningful sake tab on his travels to the orient.)

[FirstandGoal]

Okay, so let's first look at the snakey guys:

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCUdn6DwwsHQ1Yp0w7lv1p9TXgAA3Fg KAMJfaZXjV_KNZ6J0CJ http://thecalamitygirl.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/david-tennant-black-and-white-photo.jpg?w=225&h=300 https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ6nvDZauoVu0PtgtTB1MdszKR_zGH5_ q3HL-ZKHPcHW4_-rQgdWQ https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTXyzCF-JzVjvvZGuZSomi7gUM1hZxfpJKvxjZun10sazDHAtpQEw

Now let's take a look at some Gryffindors.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSvC0Q4vvSJHLTM1Zewb2YgGjrEvBvPZ Sgm3qXYdgv2jHZWCHPs https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS7yyMS3c_84JcWm0Ka_ImtZo3oY8VTc xiUQdOQNoiC52hcBLix https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQUYVObCl0hyE20l9i69wgGCiWb9PvdK d4NU_MR_TR9OOz_Vcsw https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTRK8LfPrYmUETnjY3FO-figkwH3UDOxqH0GK-WKBzuNIyCqwmz

And because there really can never be such a thing as too much Jason Isaacs in the world:

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQAfpJoz-oBZmJgdcOLt8vIoYeyNCiTzG4Sb82UjvBf2HSL6DJl

Seriously. If I were to ever be a fictional character it would be Narcissa Malfoy. Not only is she filthy rich and survives the series with her family intact, she gets to go home to Lucius every day. Go Snakes!

[KantoSooner]

We still have to find a place for Lee Van Kleef, because he has the coldest eyes of any man who's ever lived. Seriously. Karate masters wet their pants when he looks at them.

Then there's Dennis Hopper because, well, when you're shooting for craziness, sex, violence and utter screen magic, then you go immediately to Mr. Hopper's door and request the great man to come on board. Yes, he's dead. He'll still take the role. And nail it.

And, finally: Sam Elliott. Why? Because he sets the gold standard for masculinity. There are bigger, tougher men out there. There are scarier men out there; but a Harvard team in 2009 tried and failed to measure the limits to Sam Elliott's testosterone. Couldn't be done. When I grow up, I want to be Sam Elliott. Or at least to have his moustache, and his voice.

[KantoSooner]

and, lest we forget, Charlize Theron in the role of school librarian.

No special reason, I've just always wanted to see her in stealth hottie mode.

[Wishboned]

We still have to find a place for Lee Van Kleef, because he has the coldest eyes of any man who's ever lived. Seriously. Karate masters wet their pants when he looks at them.

Then there's Dennis Hopper because, well, when you're shooting for craziness, sex, violence and utter screen magic, then you go immediately to Mr. Hopper's door and request the great man to come on board. Yes, he's dead. He'll still take the role. And nail it.

And, finally: Sam Elliott. Why? Because he sets the gold standard for masculinity. There are bigger, tougher men out there. There are scarier men out there; but a Harvard team in 2009 tried and failed to measure the limits to Sam Elliott's testosterone. Couldn't be done. When I grow up, I want to be Sam Elliott. Or at least to have his moustache, and his voice.

Two out of the three are dead...and we need to keep checking Sam Elliott's pulse to make sure it's not three for three.

Are you wanting to make this a zombie pic?

[StoopTroup]

I re-posted the pic for Dean. I guess noble collection.com no likey hotlinking....

[KantoSooner]

Two out of the three are dead...and we need to keep checking Sam Elliott's pulse to make sure it's not three for three.

Are you wanting to make this a zombie pic?

Well! THERE'S a fresh idea. I like it! No. I LOVE it!! The only drawback is that under no circumstances do I want to see Megan Fox or Charlize Theron all decaying and ****. That is just not happening on my watch. We'll have to get JKR to write a new sequel. Maybe, "Harry Potter and the Damsels of Zombie Gulch", could bring in a Western aspect, film it in Monument Valley. Do a John Ford type pastiche.

This project is shaoping up nicely. All we need now is funding. As long as we keep the women mostly clad, the Saudis are probably good for it. Tell 'em it'll be an answer to that Coptic guy's film trailer. We'll have some 'splaining to do later, but better to beg forgiveness than ask permission, I always say!

[C&CDean]

Methinks Kanto is combining the "Boubon" thread with the Harry Potter one. Heh. I'm cackling like a hen; whilst imbibing in a wee bit o' the Irish meself.

I'm down with all of it. And for F&G, Jason Issacs is the most perfect actor to play Lucious. I mean perfect. The only actor cast better would be Rickman as Snape. I mean he IS Snape.

[C&CDean]

Two out of the three are dead...and we need to keep checking Sam Elliott's pulse to make sure it's not three for three.

Are you wanting to make this a zombie pic?

Dude. Zombies. Dead. Get it?

[FirstandGoal]

Well! THERE'S a fresh idea. I like it! No. I LOVE it!! The only drawback is that under no circumstances do I want to see Megan Fox or Charlize Theron all decaying and ****. That is just not happening on my watch. We'll have to get JKR to write a new sequel. Maybe, "Harry Potter and the Damsels of Zombie Gulch", could bring in a Western aspect, film it in Monument Valley. Do a John Ford type pastiche.

This project is shaoping up nicely. All we need now is funding. As long as we keep the women mostly clad, the Saudis are probably good for it. Tell 'em it'll be an answer to that Coptic guy's film trailer. We'll have some 'splaining to do later, but better to beg forgiveness than ask permission, I always say!

LOL!

So long as we get to keep all the snakey guys I'm down for it. :D

[StoopTroup]

Just for the Neville fans:
http://rawrgg.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/That-Awkward-Moment-When-Neville-Becomes-The-Hottest1.jpg

Me thinks that someone in that pic has touched Neville's Wand besides Neville.