New Pope Old Pope

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Ok, I'm not the Catholic in the family but I have to wonder how the pope goes from being infallible when issuing ex cathedra dogma to being fallible like the rest of us March 1. Is it like a subtle loss of weight or is it a more immaterial transubstantiation of his epistemological power?

[SanJoaquinSooner]

There’s all these gnarly theological problems: like how can you have two infallibles on the earth at the same time? But, he probably retired so he can make sure a liberal third world candidate doesn’t undo all the conservative stuff he’s done.

I can understand wanting to protect the legacy of keeping the church in the middle ages. Personally, though, I’d prefer the College of Cardinals choose someone from Africa or South America, where the church is actually growing instead of shrinking like a cheap cotton shirt in hot water.

Failing that, I have submitted my own nomination to the College: I have nominated an old college buddy Larry, who is a preacher in a community near Tulsa. Larry would be a perfect alternative to the traditional ancient, white European poop that we usually get.

Of course there’s a couple of minor problems: first, the wife, Debbie, who is charming, but she would have to go for obvious reasons.

Then there’s the baseball hat he wears -- however the pope hats are awesome, so I think Larry might enjoy a little change.

His motorcycles have to go too; can’t have the pope endangering life and limb out there when so many world problems need solving.

Finally, there’s the matter of the accent and Latin. My bet is the folks who hang out in Vatican Square will find it amusing, like a Vatican version of Duck Dynasty or maybe the Posse's Hideout.

Please, respect Larry’s privacy during this transitional period.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Hard on the ol Mezcal last night, eh?

[olevetonahill]

Hard on the ol Mezcal last night, eh?

Ima thinkin he found the worm.

[C&CDean]

Besides, he's married to a messican. They know everything about the pope. He should just ask her.

[olevetonahill]

Besides, he's married to a messican. They know everything about the pope. He should just ask her.

Shes to busy helpin the federales round up Drunk Illegals and gettin em to fields on time to pick the lettuce and ****.