advice I rec'd from an elderly man...

[ouwasp]

Driving back from the Baylor game, we stopped in Shawnee to eat at the Crackerbarrel. Upon leaving, I told my son to hang on a second while I go to the restroom. He rolls his eyes and accuses me of being as bad as my wife about going to pee. I'm not that bad, but I did chuckle.

I was still amused by it when I stepped up to a urinal. And old gent stepped to the urinal beside me at the same time. I told him...."well, my teenage son just made fun of me for heading to the restroom again... but I have a couple hr drive ahead of me... he'll learn one of these days..." The old guy grunted agreement.

As we were washing our hands, he offered me this three-part bit of a advice:

"A wise man once told me this...when a man reaches 50, to not do three things...
'Never pass up a chance to take a whiz.
Never trust a fart.
Never waste an erection.' This advice has served me well over the yrs..." He glanced at me to see my response.

"Well, I'm pretty good at #1...and #3..." The old guy's eyes widened in alarm. "You trust a fart!?"

I just laughed and told him I wouldn't be 50 for another few months, but I'd keep it in mind. His eyes twinkled as he said "You'll learn one of these days..."

Pretty clever guy, using my own words against me.

I thought about his advice the other day when I went to a Crackerbarrel in Tulsa. The question is, does anybody else have some sage words for those of us approaching 50? :bri:

[SanJoaquinSooner]

I think that came from Jack Nicholson's character in The Bucket List.

[yermom]

i think it's older than that

[SanJoaquinSooner]

As far as advice goes,


1. When you turn 50, you can contribute an extra $1000 to an IRA or Roth IRA.

So, $5500 for all eligible and $6500 for those over 50.


2. Check the mirror each day to remind yourself you aren't 30 anymore, before you get carried away with flirting with babes young enough to be your daughters. Fifty doesn't really feel differently than 30, so it's easy to forget you're not a young stud anymore.

3. Eat healthier than Crackerbarrel to avoid the Type II diabetes.

[olevetonahill]

Make sure and Keep a gun close cause yer too friggin old to fight anymore.

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Make sure and Keep a gun close cause yer too friggin old to fight anymore.

Do you sleep with a gun in your bed, vet?

[SanJoaquinSooner]

i think it's older than that

Probably, even Shakespeare plagiarized the Greeks.

[olevetonahill]

Do you sleep with a gun in your bed, vet?

Dont every one? Theres always one within reach of me, Even the Bathroom.

[bonkuba]

Dont every one? Theres always one within reach of me, Even the Bathroom.

^^This......

[SicEmBaylor]

The thing that makes you old is eating at Cracker Barrel not the frequency of urination.

[olevetonahill]

NEVER,Under any circumstances,Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on The same night!

[rock on sooner]

NEVER,Under any circumstances,Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on The same night!

Is there a hint of experience I detect?

[KantoSooner]

Before the age of 50, you might wonder if the much younger woman you're making love to really loves you.
After the age of 50 you are simply grateful, and appreciate her acting ability regardless.

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Watch out for your cornhole, bud.

[StoopTroup]

I don't need to sleep with a gun.....the Lord blessed me with all the weapon I need. If I pee when I swim....it's like my own personal Jet Ski.

[12]

Never speak to a stranger while standing at a urinal.

[olevetonahill]

Never speak to a stranger while standing at a urinal.

I always offer to shake hands :applouse:

[SoonerAtKU]

There's a guy at work who will without fail talk to you at the urinal. I actually had to say to him once, "Can we do this when I don't have my dork in my hand?"

[8timechamps]

I've always thought there was an unwritten rule (between guys) that if there are 3 or more urinals, you always leave an empty in between yourself and another occupied urinal. It never fails though, I'll be at the airport (where there are literally 30 urinals), and someone comes in and stand right next to me. Why?!

[olevetonahill]

I've always thought there was an unwritten rule (between guys) that if there are 3 or more urinals, you always leave an empty in between yourself and another occupied urinal. It never fails though, I'll be at the airport (where there are literally 30 urinals), and someone comes in and stand right next to me. Why?!

They just like to Show off.

I laugh my A off at those guys who go up to urinal Like a Leg humpin dog. are they skeered some one will see?

[KantoSooner]

I've always thought there was an unwritten rule (between guys) that if there are 3 or more urinals, you always leave an empty in between yourself and another occupied urinal. It never fails though, I'll be at the airport (where there are literally 30 urinals), and someone comes in and stand right next to me. Why?!

Do you take a 'wide stance' at the urinal?

...striving for a theory to he'p you.

[ouwasp]

I've always thought there was an unwritten rule (between guys) that if there are 3 or more urinals, you always leave an empty in between yourself and another occupied urinal. It never fails though, I'll be at the airport (where there are literally 30 urinals), and someone comes in and stand right next to me. Why?!

Yes, this is part of The Guy Code. But in this case at the Crackerbarrel I'm pretty sure there were 3 urinals, and the old guy took the middle one. And usually there is no speaking, kinda like an elevator...

[Turd_Ferguson]

I don't mind somebody standing next to me, but I do find myself stretching it out just in case they're looking...