In honor of OUr bowl game against eATMe....

[FirstandGoal]

Can we all please make an agreement to refrain from using any of the following terms/phrases?


Johnny Football
Johnny M
The Twelfth Man
Lupica





Feel free to add to the list.

[olevetonahill]

Anything whoren

[FirstandGoal]

Add Johnny Heisman to the list too.

[PLaw]

And . . . . It's purple - not maroon. I mean WTH is maroon, but a dark purple.

Boomer

[olevetonahill]

Can we still tell "Little Johnny" jokes ?
I got a ton of em

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Little Johnny replies, "A teacher."

[FirstandGoal]

Hmmm, it might be fun to start a thread with Little Johnny jokes. I think in this case it could stay in the FB forum.

[olevetonahill]

Hmmm, it might be fun to start a thread with Little Johnny jokes. I think in this case it could stay in the FB forum.

This is it then Ya done good Gurl

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed putting a condom onto his penis in preparation of sex with his wife.

Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, bent over as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asked curiously "Whatcha doin daddy?"

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed, to which Little Johnny replied

"Whatcha gonna do, f*@#% him?"

[olevetonahill]

Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," says his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
"It's okay, we can play that game again!"

[MyT Oklahoma]

^^ Is this a great fanboard or what? LOL

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Agreed...I'm a grown *** man...i aint callin no quarterback some name his team's fanbase made for him..

[12]

I think we shouldn't use the number "12" at all.

[badger]

In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is
worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."

The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette".

The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"

He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!"

[FirstandGoal]

Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said
"Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts"
Immediately little Johnny said, "Ooh me sir me"
The coach then said, "But Johnny you are the worst in the team!"
Then Johnny said, "I know, but goalposts can’t jump!"

[FirstandGoal]

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period" reported Johnnie.

"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know" said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

[olevetonahill]

One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.

"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked.

"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.

"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.

"That's because he's inside your cat!"

[BoomerJack]

"Inside your cat." Hilarious. I love jokes with punch lines involving dead cats.

[SoonerLaw09]

Come to think of it, dead cats are pretty hilarious just by themselves.

[TrueBornSooner]

The Twelfth Man doesn't frighten me, certainly not enough to stop from uttering its name. Nor does Johnny "Football" Manziel. He's not a god, he's a freshman. Personally, I hope we put a Lupica-style beating on the Maroon and White.

[FirstandGoal]

The Twelfth Man doesn't frighten me, certainly not enough to stop from uttering its name. Nor does Johnny "Football" Manziel. He's not a god, he's a freshman. Personally, I hope we put a Lupica-style beating on the Maroon and White.

:grumpy::topsy_turvy::mad::distress::dispirited::f rown::blue:

[olevetonahill]

Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.

"Hold on," she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

[cyclonesooner]

During English class one day, Johnny's teacher was engaging the class in an activity where the students would take a letter in the alphabet, choose a word, spell, the word, and use the word in a sentence. Of course, starting with the letter A, dirty Johnny's hand was up wanting to be called on.

The teacher refused to call on Johnny, fairy certain something vulgar would come out of his mouth. Finally, they got to the letter W. The teacher thought to herself, "Surely there is nothing foul he could come up with using the letter W. " Okay Johnny, what is your word", the teacher asked ? WOMB, W O M B, Johnny proudly stated to the class.

The teacher, greatly relieved said, "Oh Johnny, very good. " You mean, like your mother's womb ? Loudly clapping his hands together, Johnny blurted out, "No, shat no, two great big elephants a f%*#ing, WOOM, WOOM !!!!!!!!!!

[olevetonahill]

Little Johnny was on his way back home from the store with a
loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pants
pocket.

Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little
Johnny and realizes this is the perfect opportunity to go preach the gospel of the Holy Bible to the young boy.

Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the "Staff of Life" in one hand."

"Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in
the other!"

[S.PadreIsl.Sooner]

And . . . . It's purple - not maroon. I mean WTH is maroon, but a dark purple.

Boomer

Actually, maroon is a shade of burgandy. Dry burgandy. Sandy dry burgandy.

[olevetonahill]

Moran is an Idiot. Yall Pay Tention

[FirstandGoal]

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’

Little Johnny waves his hand, ‘Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!
Miss Rogers. ‘All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?’

Little Johnny says, ‘Mas-tur-bate.’

Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little Johnny, that’s a mouthful.’
Little Johnny says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blow job”.

[picasso]

What about Niedermeyer?

[olevetonahill]

It was the end of the school year. The teacher had turned in her grades; there was nothing really for the class to do. All the kids were restless and it was near the end of the day. So the teacher thought of an activity. She said, "The first ones to answer correctly the questions I ask may leave early today."

Little Johnny said to himself, "Good, I'm smart and I want to get outta here." The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

But before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln?" The teacher said, "That's right, Susie. You may go." Johnny was mad that Susie had answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" but, before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King!" The teacher said, "That's right, Mary. You may go." Johnny was even madder than before. Mary had answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy piped, "John Kennedy!" The teacher said, "That's right, Nancy. You may go." Now Johnny was furious! Nancy had answered first. Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny muttered, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher spun around. "WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

[FirstandGoal]

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.

"Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grown ups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"

[lexsooner]

What about Niedermeyer?

Most cadet corps members could not hack it in Faber College's ROTC.