Will Tonight Bring a New Classic Bidenism?

[Wishboned]

Some of the best Bidenisms:

"A successful dump!" --Joe Biden, explaining his whereabouts (dropping deadwood at the dump) to the reporters outside his home, Wilmington, Del., Aug. 20, 2008

"His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she's- wait- your mom's still- your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul." --Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is very much alive, Washington, D.C., March 17, 2010

"You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." --Joe Biden, in a private remark to an Indian-American man caught on C-SPAN, June, 2006

"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." –Joe Biden, apparently unaware that FDR wasn't president when the stock market crashed in 1929 and that only experimental TV sets were in use at that time, interview with Katie Couric, Sept. 22, 2008

"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." --Joe Biden, speaking at a town hall meeting in Nashua, New Hampshire, Sept. 10, 2008

"Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs." --Joe Biden, Athens, Ohio, Oct. 15, 2008

"Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." –-Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008

"Folks, I can tell you I've known eight presidents, three of them intimately." --Joe Biden, Aug. 22, 2012

"I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you." --Joe Biden, citing Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." April 26, 2012

"If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30% chance we're going to get it wrong." --Joe Biden, speaking to members of the House Democratic caucus who were gathered in Williamsburg, Va., for their annual retreat, Feb. 6, 2009

"Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart." –Joe Biden, mistakenly referring to Justice John Paul Stevens, who swore him in as vice president, Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2009

[BigTip]

“Guess what, the cheerleaders in college are the best athletes in college,’’ Biden told them. “You think, I’m joking, they’re almost all gymnasts, the stuff they do on hard wood, it blows my mind.’’

I think that there will be a huge audience tonight waiting for the train wreck to happen. It will be pistols against pea shooters.

[badger]

I think a lot of media were eagerly waiting gleefully at what Sarah Palin would say at the veep debate last year... and left disappointed.

Aim low with your expectations of Biden gaffs. Then anything you receive will be a bonus. Here, let me know you set your expectations low:

1- Obama screwed up the first debate, so they can't afford Biden to screw up the second.
2- Biden's had six days to prepare for this debate.
3- He's already gotten some good gaffs out, so he knows what not to say.
4- Obama didn't gaff in the first debate, so much as perform poorly. You can expect the same type of thing from Biden tonight.
5- Does he gaff in debates, or just on the campaign trail? It seems his gaffs have mostly been on the campaign trail, not on national television debating a Republican.

If it helps, record the debate and watch Tulsa football host UTEP tonight instead (or Thursday Night NFL football). That way, you can find out after the fact if you missed anything :)

[Soonerjeepman]

or use the NEW excuse from the obama campaign..."we were too polite"...really? lol..whatever.

[BigTip]

Again, like Obama, when Biden strays from prepared text, he gaffes. He will have no prepared text tonight. He will have to think.
Out of the two vp candidates, who would classify as the better thinker?
Exactly.

I am sure the Obama camp is britting shicks right now.

[diverdog]

Don't count your chickens until they are hatched.

[Wishboned]

Don't count your chickens until they are hatched.

I'm just Biden my time.

[badger]

He will have no prepared text tonight.

They probably have him conditioned like a robot by now. As soon as he hears a keyword, he will go on for minutes (regardless of what the red light or moderator tells him) with prepared speech.

Moderator: blah blah blah JOBS...
Biden: JOBS are important to the financial well being of not just individuals by to America as a whole and our administration is prepared to do whatever is necessary to lower employment, create new jobs and continue growth for America's prosperity.

Moderator blah blah blah OBAMACARE...
Biden: OBAMACARE has become an endearing term to our administration because President Obama cares about the health of Americans, not just from medical treatment and prescription drugs, but healthy lifestyle habits in our children's school lunch programs, the elimination of large amounts of high calorie drink availability and limitation of smoking in public places.

They'll have him programmed, you just watch.

[Soonerjeepman]

wow badg...you write for the obama campaign? good responses..!

[badger]

wow badg...you write for the obama campaign? good responses..!

no, but i can make up sh!t of the fly :P

Let's see what I can do with...

Modador: blah blah ECONOMY
Biden: The ECONOMY has been showing promising signs lately under our administration's watch, with unemployment figures below 8 percent, foreclosures at a 5-year low and businesses hiring.

Modador: blah blah SYRIA
Biden: The attack on the SYRIA embassy was a terribly terrorist act and those responsible will be brought to justice, as will any others who attack Americans overseas and at home.

Modador: blah GAS PRICES
Biden: Our adminstration will continue to seek ways to keep GAS PRICES and other energy costs down for American businesses and consumers, namely through the investment in alternative energies and allowing the pipeline to be built on American soil with environmental interests at heart.

geez i have to stop paying attention to the news. why do i know so many stupid talking political points :(

Anyways, if I can do it, you know Biden's been programmed

[BigTip]

They probably have him conditioned like a robot by now. As soon as he hears a keyword, he will go on for minutes (regardless of what the red light or moderator tells him) with prepared speech.

Moderator: blah blah blah JOBS...
Biden: JOBS are important to the financial well being of not just individuals by to America as a whole and our administration is prepared to do whatever is necessary to lower employment, create new jobs and continue growth for America's prosperity.

Moderator blah blah blah OBAMACARE...
Biden: OBAMACARE has become an endearing term to our administration because President Obama cares about the health of Americans, not just from medical treatment and prescription drugs, but healthy lifestyle habits in our children's school lunch programs, the elimination of large amounts of high calorie drink availability and limitation of smoking in public places.

They'll have him programmed, you just watch.

Or maybe he will pull an Obama.

Moderator: blah blah blah JOBS...
Biden: JOBS, yes jobs. I recall a hard working man I met in a Dairy Queen in Bumphuc, NC. He had been out of work for 18 months. His mother had been been unable to work because she was sick. His dog had recently died. But he had hope because blah blah blah

Moderator blah blah blah OBAMACARE...
Biden: I'm glad you asked about that. I recall a hard working man I met in a Denny's in Podunk Hollow, Missouri. He had been out of work because he was sick. His poor mother had been unable to work for 18 months. His dog had died because he couldn't afford veterinarian care and blah blah blah

[badger]

Or maybe he will pull an Obama.

Moderator: blah blah blah JOBS...
Biden: JOBS, yes jobs. I recall a hard working man I met in a Dairy Queen in Bumphuc, NC. He had been out of work for 18 months. His mother had been been unable to work because she was sick. His dog had recently died. But he had hope because blah blah blah

Moderator blah blah blah OBAMACARE...
Biden: I'm glad you asked about that. I recall a hard working man I met in a Denny's in Podunk Hollow, Missouri. He had been out of work because he was sick. His poor mother had been unable to work for 18 months. His dog had died because he couldn't afford veterinarian care and blah blah blah

You're much better at this than me. Let me give it another shot before conceding...

Modador:
Biden: You may want to move onto another topic, but please let me finish first.

Modador:
Biden: I realize that I may be going over my time but just one final point.

Modador:
Biden: This is very important to mention and then I promise we can move on.

[BigTip]

Biden: Yes, I believe the white fleshed tuber you speak of is spelled POTATOE

[badger]

Biden: Pepperoni!
Pizza Hut: Oh, I'm sorry. We only said we'd give out free pizza for life if you asked it during a presidential debate, not the vice presidential debate.

[BigTip]

Biden: Pepperoni!
Pizza Hut: Oh, I'm sorry. We only said we'd give out free pizza for life if you asked it during a presidential debate, not the vice presidential debate.

lol, I read about this today. Smart Pizza Hut.

[badger]

Modador: This next question comes from a journalist after the Red River Shootout...
Biden: Let me answer that question for Mack.

[KantoSooner]

Y'know, if Biden had a sense of humor, he'd play the debate straight, but then, slowly, you'd see foam beginning to drip from the corners of his mouth. Later, he'd interrupt his answers by sinking onto his haunches and howling at the ceiling. Finally he'd shake hands with Ryan and walk off as though nothing had happened.

[BigTip]

Y'know, if Biden had a sense of humor, he'd play the debate straight, but then, slowly, you'd see foam beginning to drip from the corners of his mouth. Later, he'd interrupt his answers by sinking onto his haunches and howling at the ceiling. Finally he'd shake hands with Ryan and walk off as though nothing had happened.

I just had a funny vision of Biden proposing this idea to a room full of handlers and all of them at the same time, in shock, scream, NOOOOOO!

[cleller]

The word on the street is that Biden will come on stage in leathers, on a Harley. Sitting on that same chick's lap.

[LiveLaughLove]

Biden will be mean, condescending, and obnoxious tonight. But he will smile a lot and the media will say he was folksy. Take that to the bank.

[AlboSooner]

Bidden is whipping on pretty boy.

[C&CDean]

I just came in from watching a bunch of deer back on one of the feeders. I turn the TV on, and I see Biden smiling like a Cheshire Cat and getting his *** handed to him by some young dork. Only thing is I get the feeling Biden thinks he's cleaning this punk's clock. So, who's winning?

[C&CDean]

Bidden is whipping on pretty boy.

Really? I'm just catching a few minutes before a hot shower and supper, but it looks to me like Biden has nothing but smiling/laughing like a cheshire cat, and the youngster is spanking him soundly. Am I wrong here? When did laughing become "whipping on pretty boy?"

[AlboSooner]

Really? I'm just catching a few minutes before a hot shower and supper, but it looks to me like Biden has nothing but smiling/laughing like a cheshire cat, and the youngster is spanking him soundly. Am I wrong here? When did laughing become "whipping on pretty boy?"
He recovered and is doing well. I rushed my judgement

[LiveLaughLove]

The "pretty boy" is picking up his game on the domestic stuff. He wasn't do so well on foreign policy.

He's very wonkish. I wish he would be a little warmer, somehow.

Biden is just the jerk that I have always thought him to be. He calls you friend while stabbing you and turning the knife. Reminds me of Judas and Brutus.

[Wishboned]

Biden's strategy is to interrupt and try to get Ryan to lose his temper.

[FaninAma]

Why is the moderator allowing him to interrupt?

[LiveLaughLove]

Why is the moderator allowing him to interrupt?

Because she and her ex husband are Obama-ites? maybe?

[FaninAma]

Hopefully everybody will see Biden for the a$$ he is. We could have predicted what Biden was going to do.