Coach Bill Snyder .....

[Flagstaffsooner]

Draws out plays on a Depends box.

[redkid]

wishes he was still a spry 65 yr old

[limey_sooner]

Often shakes his fist at his players on the practice field while yelling "get off of my lawn"

[vtsooner21]

Is so old, when he attended school, chemistry was then known as "magic"...

BOOMER

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Has been calling Venables to rekindle the good ole times and trying to get play book on OU.

[Flagstaffsooner]

After wins his players dunk him with Geritol instead of Gatorade.

[12]

Regrets not upping Stoops' salary.

[ouwasp]

says "It doesn't get any better than this!" after he takes a long pull from a bottle of prune juice...

[delhalew]

Has a bad attitude, and a truck full of Ensure.

[JLEW1818]

Wears diapers......

[SoonerofAlabama]

May be old but already knows there's a thread about this. :)

[nighttrain12]

http://www.sanangelolive.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/780x439-cinema/storyimages/AdultDiapers.jpg

[cleller]

Had some great coaches at one time, but couldn't keep 'em.

[JLEW1818]

Wears diapers....

(merge my thread)

[cas4ksu]

Could outrun that cripple Jason White.

[budbarrybob]

Bought Jason Whites jock for a scratch and sniff.

[toast]

eats plain yogurt because he finds flavors annoying

[nighttrain12]

Likes to talk to imaginary people in chairs.

[olevetonahill]

Could outrun that cripple Jason White.

This clown needs a 1 way trip to Bolivia

[SoonerinSouthlake]

...has fallen, and he cant get up

[nighttrain12]

This clown needs a 1 way trip to Bolivia

Or Stool-Water.

[nighttrain12]

...has fallen, and he cant get IT up

I fixed your post for you.

[OUInformant]

...is a hall of fame coach.

[Statalyzer]

There are a few other guys out there who could do what Miles, Saban, Brown, Stoops, Carroll, or Tressel are doing / have done over the past decade or two. I'm not sure there's anyone else who could duplicate what Bill Synder did.

[nighttrain12]

...is a hall of fame coach.

That was born before they even had a hall of fame! (not really)

[King Crimson]

pulls the tighty whiteys above his belly button, and likes what he sees.....rawr.

[fadada1]

... walked to school, uphill both ways, in 10 feet of snow... and was DAMN happy to do it. now get the hell of my lawn and find my teeth.

[Hot Rod]

Looks like he's been on liquid diet the majority of his life.

[goingoneight]

Could outrun that cripple Jason White.

... well, only after ordering the hit on him.

... got the last laugh in 2004... oh, wait. :P

[goingoneight]

... can't wait to read the newspaper when he gets up in the morning. But just has to wait until it's printed.

[Landthief 1972]

Still thinks the game hasn't been the same since they made helmets mandatory.

[SouthFortySooner]

...leaves the sideline before half-time to meet the team n the locker room.

[oudivesherpa]

Is so old that he keeps getting his viagra and ex lax confused--he does not know if he's coming or going!

[Whet]

invented the phrase "shlts and giggles" based on personal experiences.

[IslandSooner]

Has no idea how to stop the bulldozer......

[goingoneight]

... is not asking the officials "are you kidding me?" Rather, if you read his lips, he's saying "hah? HAH?"

[OklahomaTuba]

last smiled in 1994.

[TahoeSOONER]

...smells like urine and vitamins.

[GameWarden]

Makes Jo Pa look like a quitter.

[nighttrain12]

Was a close personal friend of Woodrow Wilson.

[MamaMia]

...eats cornbread in a glass of buttermilk every night before bed.

[olevetonahill]

...eats cornbread in a glass of buttermilk every night before bed.

Ya say that like its a BAD thing ?

Helped Moses tote the 10 commandments off Mt Sinai

[goingoneight]

... put together quite a coaching staff for Bob Stoops to raid and win a National Championship with. :D

[cleller]

eats plain yogurt because he finds flavors annoying

This captures Bill's personality perfectly.

[LittleElmSooner]

...is so old, he farts dust.

[BoomerJ]

...When he sees his defense take out the opposing quarterback, he puts his finger tips together and with an evil Monty Burns inflection says, "Excellent!"

He is Monty Burns stunt double, BTW.

[thecrimsoncrusader]

Orders cheapshots on QBs because that's the only way a program like KSU can win.

[goingoneight]

... has a gameplan to have Drew Allen in by the third play of the game.

[deweydw]

... once played an exhibition game against the Three Stooges.... And lost...

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4836713698820370&id=316860b3173d0ebc6974aba0795c26b2

[badger]

This is the greatest opposing coach to mock every season. Hooray for big 12 scheduling that allows us to play the old fart every season! And now, a few of my own:

...first showed his senility by making stoops a CO-defensive coordinator at ksu (true story)

... will retire again when ksu finds another coach besides him that can win at ksu. Yeah, hes never retiring...

... will get ksu signature wins every season. Pray that its against someone else's team, or that ksu is ranked high enough to make the loss respectable.

... found a way to beat the greatest college football team in history, 03 oklahoma. Curse words!!!!!!

[badger]

...for the record, will turn 83 in october.

[Skysooner]

...remembers when the Grand Canyon was a ditch.

[Soonerntxs]

Will be coaching wearing a diaper, a mouth full of gum goo, and high on viagra!

[deweydw]

... was sick the day Custer rode to Little Big Horn.

[deweydw]

... turned down Amelia Earhart for a romantic weekend on a secluded island in the south Pacific.

[KantoSooner]

Still thinks young Bobby Stoops was wrong to leave KSU to replace his close personal friend Benny Owen at OU.

What's that y'say? Eh?

[sOUnder]

...is so old, his memories are in black and white.

...remembers when the Dead Sea was only sick.

[cjames317]

... has very particular set of skills; skills acquired over a very long career. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like yOU.

[BoomerJ]

...had a few wild nights back during the prohibition era.

[cjames317]

... owns the horns.

[Landthief 1972]

Will be stuffed and mounted on the sideline after he passes on so that he can continue to coach until the technology exists to put his brain in a robot body.

[goingoneight]

... was asked to become A&M's coach because he's so good at telling those dern kids to get off the lawn.

[picasso]

Thinks this is all very interesting.

[Dio]

...is older than Brandon Weeden, but not by much.

[Dio]

...drives 55 mph in the passing lane with his blinker on.

[Dio]

...likes living in the middle of Kansas, even if life is a little too fast-paced there.

[Dio]

...misses his off season whittlin' contests with Bill Stewart.

[soonermix]

has more years than ksu has wins.

[cjames317]

... coached OJ. What he taught him will always be their secret.

[Dan Thompson]

Has oatmeal and prunes before every game.

[85sooners]

will $hit his pants cause of the crowd noise

[picasso]

Still has Robert Allen's fuzzy tennis ball.

[WA. Sooner]

Thought Lawrence Welch was the innovator of modern music

[WA. Sooner]

Going to keep coaching until white belts and shoes come back

[hornswaggled]

Has a Faustian agreement with Mephistopheles.

[picasso]

Watches Lawrence Welk to "get warmed up."

[cjames317]

... has old man strength.

... once drank Noah under the table.

[MamaMia]

...doesn't call his shots and uses the crutch to play 8 Ball.

[picasso]

Can lift that tv right over there if you want him to...

[cjames317]

... kicks it old school with the Nike Cortezes.

[StoopTroup]

Still can't find Times Square after all these years in Mahatten.

[SoonerInFortSmith]

... walked to school, uphill both ways, in 10 feet of snow... and was DAMN happy to do it. now get the hell of my lawn and find my teeth.

You forgot "shoeless"

[goingoneight]

... lines JUCO players up against the gym wall and picks teams between him and Charlie Weiss.

[BoomerJ]

Is on pins and needles right now watching Big Brother.

[TahoeSOONER]

...has the KSU playbook stuffed down his diaper.

[cjames317]

... turned down Vince Young's offer to sell the horns' playbook.

[cjames317]

... is mulling over John L. Smith's offer to sell Knile Davis.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

..., after his dust-fart clears, turns around to see what he has deposited in toilet, and generally finds a now extinct insect species encased in amber.

[deweydw]

... is impressed this has gone 5 pages.

[goingoneight]

... will need to get to bed on time... in the middle of the second quarter.

[MountainOkie]

...keeps trying to shove a crank handle into the grill of cars to get them started.

[BigTip]

...was happy when paper was invented so he could stop drawing plays up on rocks.

[StoopTroup]

....is lucky to be alive.

[StoopTroup]

....tried to hire the Oregon crew for this weekend.

[StoopTroup]

...has Micheal Jackson's Doctor on speed dial.

[MountainOkie]

..."toots" on his Toasty Os to add that special flavor.

[Flagstaffsooner]

Bill Snyder, circa 1896...
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/773870/Screen_shot_2011-11-01_at_11.10.03_AM.png

[StoopTroup]

Is wearing the same diaper he sh*t in as last year.

[TahoeSOONER]

...leads his team onto the field on a mobility scooter.

[TahoeSOONER]

...takes his teeth out after every opposing team score and gives his team the bitter beer face.

[Flagstaffsooner]

... was denied membership in AARP for 'being too old'.

[jaux]

Still buys booze for his underaged fans

[swardboy]

Consulted with Jesus on 'hail Mary' plays.........

[Jason White's Third Knee]

... Is a good coach. Damnit! That's all I could think of.

[Flagstaffsooner]

...has a prostrate bigger than the football.

[TahoeSOONER]

...looks in the mirror when adding any wrinkles to his gameplan.

[cjames317]

... glared at me and said: "Yeah?! Yo great great great great great grandMAMA!"

[BoomerJ]

...can take his huvaround anywhere.

[BoomerJ]

...demanded that his physician prescribe all his medication by suppository.

[Flagstaffsooner]

SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!
http://www.thedevilsdemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/lindablairbirthdayslut.jpg

[WA. Sooner]

Happily pays the separate processing and shipping

[SoonerinSouthlake]

still thinks the Kettle is open on Lindsay street

[goingoneight]

... wants to hear about this Bobby Stoops whipper snapper because he plumb forgot who he is.