colleyvillesooner
8/30/2012, 05:32 PM
http://deadspin.com/5938628/the-2012-haters-lovers-guide-to-the-top-25
4. Oklahoma. I've never been to Oklahoma, and I really don't know anything about it. All I have to go by is my IMAGINATION. There could be dragons there. There could be vodka rodeos. There could be gorgeous women fighting each other to the death in giant snakepits ALL THE TIME. Now, I don't think Oklahoma has any of these things. I think the state consists mostly of flat land and plainspoken folk who like guns, pie, and Jesus, probably in that order. Still, the possibilities are infinite.
15. Texas. All the food in Austin is dirt cheap and impossibly good, and when I went to Franklin BBQ I deliberately tried to give myself a heart attack by stuffing my face with brisket and very small bourbon pies. The women there are not unattractive, and the folks all look extremely content with their lives. Meanwhile, 20 million people voluntarily cram themselves into a New York City subway car every morning wanting either to kill everyone around them or to kill themselves because killing yourself is kind of easier. Austin is better. And I like that the University of Texas has the balls to cause entire conference shifts without actually moving anywhere. They just break apart alliances and leave other schools bankrupt for the sheer joy of it. That's my kind of heartless bureaucracy.
19. Oklahoma State. Listen, you people just sit tight. At some point, T. Boone Pickens will buy you a championship. If he has to buy up entire SEC universities solely for the purpose of razing them so they can never compete again, he will do it. If he has to fund $5 billion in R&D to invent Cyberball robots who can run the 40 in 0.5 seconds, he will do it. If he has to secretly hire goons to have Bob Stoops's family killed, he'll do it. In fact, he'd probably be willing to do that anyway. So don't worry! Your time is comin'.
4. Oklahoma. I've never been to Oklahoma, and I really don't know anything about it. All I have to go by is my IMAGINATION. There could be dragons there. There could be vodka rodeos. There could be gorgeous women fighting each other to the death in giant snakepits ALL THE TIME. Now, I don't think Oklahoma has any of these things. I think the state consists mostly of flat land and plainspoken folk who like guns, pie, and Jesus, probably in that order. Still, the possibilities are infinite.
15. Texas. All the food in Austin is dirt cheap and impossibly good, and when I went to Franklin BBQ I deliberately tried to give myself a heart attack by stuffing my face with brisket and very small bourbon pies. The women there are not unattractive, and the folks all look extremely content with their lives. Meanwhile, 20 million people voluntarily cram themselves into a New York City subway car every morning wanting either to kill everyone around them or to kill themselves because killing yourself is kind of easier. Austin is better. And I like that the University of Texas has the balls to cause entire conference shifts without actually moving anywhere. They just break apart alliances and leave other schools bankrupt for the sheer joy of it. That's my kind of heartless bureaucracy.
19. Oklahoma State. Listen, you people just sit tight. At some point, T. Boone Pickens will buy you a championship. If he has to buy up entire SEC universities solely for the purpose of razing them so they can never compete again, he will do it. If he has to fund $5 billion in R&D to invent Cyberball robots who can run the 40 in 0.5 seconds, he will do it. If he has to secretly hire goons to have Bob Stoops's family killed, he'll do it. In fact, he'd probably be willing to do that anyway. So don't worry! Your time is comin'.