It's Olympics time! Let's hate on the world...

[badger]

The Olympics are a magical time when you can hate on people of other origins simply for being un-American. You can laugh at the misfortune of others without being looked down on. You can cry foul at cheating, and openly complain when your own country's losing efforts did not cheat more to be in a position to win. All while chanting U-S-A! U-S-A!

So please, bring on your American spirit by hating all that is un-American in this thread, as it relates to the Olympics. I'll get started:

CANADIANS ARE LOSERS

http://cdn.cagle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/cam-killed.jpg
http://cdn.cagle.com/working/080814/mackay.jpg

BADminton cheating Chinese
CsjDEGPIIZo
Imagine that, the Chinese were the lead cheaters. Like always.
http://scm-l3.technorati.com/glosslip/2008/08/chinesegymnasts.jpg
I swear we're all 16 years old! Promise! :mad:

[badger]

You all are Bode Miller: Huge disappointments. :mad:
http://www.markdroberts.com/images/join-bode-poster-3.jpg

[Bourbon St Sooner]

That Olympic program the Chinese borrowed from the East Germans is working well for them. At least their chicks bother to shave.

[rock on sooner]

Yeah, and they learn to "throw" badminton matches, them and
the Indonesians....:beaten:

[rock on sooner]

Yeah, and they learn to "throw" badminton matches, them and
the Indonesians....:beaten:

Ooops, missed Badger's post about them...i wuz
blinded by the Canadians...:glee:

[soonercruiser]

Hey Badger!
The Chinese new video didn't have sub-titles!
I only understood one word...."hung-chow"!
(He needed to go to the bathroom at the end...)

Didn't anyone notice?
I especially enjoyed the Chick-Fil-A free coupon pop-ups!

[soonercruiser]

I missed the cocaine sniffing finals!
Did Charlie Sheen go for the "gold"????
:P

[badger]

Why we invaded Iraq:

To give this woman a chance to compete at the Olympics:
http://www.tulsaworld.com/articleimages/2012/20120802_iraqarcher88882222.jpg

[Mississippi Sooner]

Olympic hate just hasn't been the same since the Cold War ended.

[badger]

Question: Why did the Olympics add synchronized diving?
Answer: Because the Chinese didn't have enough gold medals!

And there's nothing as weird looking as diving in slow motion!

http://cdn0.sbnation.com/entry_photo_images/4875726/139418601_extra_large.jpg

Seriously... adding synchronized diving would be like them adding a Slam Dunk contest to the Olympics. What, were the Americans not already dominant enough in basketball that you have to give them ANOTHER medal?

[SoonerAtKU]

Exactly. I saw a Russian gymnast cry.

Cry.

They're supposed to be Terminators.

[SoonerAtKU]

Question: Why did the Olympics add synchronized diving?
Answer: Because the Chinese didn't have enough gold medals!

And there's nothing as weird looking as diving in slow motion!

http://cdn0.sbnation.com/entry_photo_images/4875726/139418601_extra_large.jpg

Seriously... adding synchronized diving would be like them adding a Slam Dunk contest to the Olympics. What, were the Americans not already dominant enough in basketball that you have to give them ANOTHER medal?
It's ok, once Track and Field really gets going, the Chinese are going to slow their roll.

[Bourbon St Sooner]

The Chinese need more gold medals. When are lawn darts and bocce ball becoming Olympic sports? Maybe they can add croquet and Chinese Checkers as well.

[Bourbon St Sooner]

Congrats Brits on winning your first gold medal in your own games. It's pretty sad when even the French are making fun of you.

[pphilfran]

Niger (gotta watch my spelling on that one) damn near won a gold in rowing...Hamadou Djibo Issaka was only a minute thirty nine off the pace...

You can do it! You can do it!

[badger]

Congrats Brits on winning your first gold medal in your own games. It's pretty sad when even the French are making fun of you.

Did you see that guy's twig boy arms?!

http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/dailyrecord3/jul2012/7/3/bradley-wiggins-wins-the-tour-de-france-195020895.jpg

So... does doping to win cycling give you little girlie biceps like Wiggins, or cancer like Lance?*





*No offense to cancer survivors!

[salth2o]

The Redhead asked me last night why Africa has no swimmers. I told her it was probably because there is very little water and its hard to swim laps in the sewer.

[rock on sooner]

I'm ticked that there's no softball and baseball in the Olympics!

[Bourbon St Sooner]

Nigeria has a hell of a canoeing team. Unfortunately stopping every 300 yards to hunt for oil pipelines to tap doesn't help your time.

[badger]

I'm ticked that there's no softball and baseball in the Olympics!

MLB didn't like subsidizing the Olympics anymore (and they now have the World Baseball Classic, so that kind of solves that problem I guess). I am guess the NBA will go this direction eventually to get more $$$.

Softball just doesn't have a lot of countries that compete in it, so that was the justification for dropping it.

If anything, I could see them adding softball back without baseball.

However, the golf addition should make a lot of countries excited. There's representation in pretty much every continent (except South America, which is hosting the first Olympics with the sport, lol)

Oh and token hater image:
http://engrishfunny.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/engrish-funny-you-suck-you-suck-you-suck1.jpg

[salth2o]

http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Durex-Olympic-Advertising.jpg

[badger]

^^^ oh that's GOLDen :P

I'm all about chanting U-S-A and sh!t, but Ryan Lochte sure has a lot of d00shebaggery about him:
http://em-i-lis.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/ryan-lochte-grill-2012-london-olympics-21.jpg

Must be a Florida Gator thing. S-E-C! S-E-C! :mad:

[Midtowner]

Alright, time to get my hate on.

Africa: The entire continent--you suck at the Olympics. Is the only reason this continent participates to announce to the world that they actually exist outside of the feed-the-children commercials where some fat American celebrity is treading through some 3rd world slum with human feces running down the street? I mean c'mon... why were they even allowed to participate in men's basketball? So Team USA could look like the Harlem Globetrotters?

All the damn countries with Union Jacks on their flags: WTF is that? During the opening ceremonies, I regret not playing a drinking game which would have required me to take a drink every time I saw the Union Jack in the upper left-hand portion of a country or territory's flag. Of course, maybe i shouldn't regret that as if I had played that game, according to the alcohol/BMI calculator, I would have experienced "coma or death." This is just a not-so-subtle reminder that the UK spent the greater part of the 18th and 19th centuries roaming the world and marking its territory.

Puerto Rico: Since when have we allowed our territories to pretend they are countries? P.R. needs to learn its damn place, otherwise, Texas might start getting ideas. Letting them compete by themselves is B.S. They are Americans, have been since we kicked out the Spaniards. Americans died so that we could call that stupid little island ours. And what thanks to we get? In 2004, they actually beat the U.S. Olympic basketball squad. Here's the deal--either P.R. can jump on board and give us their best athletes like Texas and California do, or they should be cut loose. They might want to start comparing their quality of life to other craphole Caribbean nations.

USSR: Still #2 in medal count and they haven't existed since 1990. Eastern Germany is up there too. Why any other country ever gets to host the Olympics is beyond me. The U.S. has 2,500+ all time medals. Our next closest *existing* country is Germany with less than half our count. The Olympics ought to be called "That show where U.S. athletes kick the **** out of their competition."

In conclusion, 'merica.

[KantoSooner]

I offer you one word, and one word only:


Malawi



That is all.

[Mississippi Sooner]

Alright, time to get my hate on.

Africa: The entire continent--you suck at the Olympics. Is the only reason this continent participates to announce to the world that they actually exist outside of the feed-the-children commercials where some fat American celebrity is treading through some 3rd world slum with human feces running down the street? I mean c'mon... why were they even allowed to participate in men's basketball? So Team USA could look like the Harlem Globetrotters?

All the damn countries with Union Jacks on their flags: WTF is that? During the opening ceremonies, I regret not playing a drinking game which would have required me to take a drink every time I saw the Union Jack in the upper left-hand portion of a country or territory's flag. Of course, maybe i shouldn't regret that as if I had played that game, according to the alcohol/BMI calculator, I would have experienced "coma or death." This is just a not-so-subtle reminder that the UK spent the greater part of the 18th and 19th centuries roaming the world and marking its territory.

Puerto Rico: Since when have we allowed our territories to pretend they are countries? P.R. needs to learn its damn place, otherwise, Texas might start getting ideas. Letting them compete by themselves is B.S. They are Americans, have been since we kicked out the Spaniards. Americans died so that we could call that stupid little island ours. And what thanks to we get? In 2004, they actually beat the U.S. Olympic basketball squad. Here's the deal--either P.R. can jump on board and give us their best athletes like Texas and California do, or they should be cut loose. They might want to start comparing their quality of life to other craphole Caribbean nations.

USSR: Still #2 in medal count and they haven't existed since 1990. Eastern Germany is up there too. Why any other country ever gets to host the Olympics is beyond me. The U.S. has 2,500+ all time medals. Our next closest *existing* country is Germany with less than half our count. The Olympics ought to be called "That show where U.S. athletes kick the **** out of their competition."

In conclusion, 'merica.

I'll see your Puerto Rico and raise you the US Virgin Islands. Why do they have their own Olympic team? At least in PR most of them speak Spanish. In the USVI, about the only thing they do that isn't purely American is drive on the left side of the road. And really, I think they only do that to be cute. No, a US territory should be competing as part of the Mother Country.

[Petro-Sooner]

Alright, time to get my hate on.

Africa: The entire continent--you suck at the Olympics. Is the only reason this continent participates to announce to the world that they actually exist outside of the feed-the-children commercials where some fat American celebrity is treading through some 3rd world slum with human feces running down the street? I mean c'mon... why were they even allowed to participate in men's basketball? So Team USA could look like the Harlem Globetrotters?

All the damn countries with Union Jacks on their flags: WTF is that? During the opening ceremonies, I regret not playing a drinking game which would have required me to take a drink every time I saw the Union Jack in the upper left-hand portion of a country or territory's flag. Of course, maybe i shouldn't regret that as if I had played that game, according to the alcohol/BMI calculator, I would have experienced "coma or death." This is just a not-so-subtle reminder that the UK spent the greater part of the 18th and 19th centuries roaming the world and marking its territory.

Puerto Rico: Since when have we allowed our territories to pretend they are countries? P.R. needs to learn its damn place, otherwise, Texas might start getting ideas. Letting them compete by themselves is B.S. They are Americans, have been since we kicked out the Spaniards. Americans died so that we could call that stupid little island ours. And what thanks to we get? In 2004, they actually beat the U.S. Olympic basketball squad. Here's the deal--either P.R. can jump on board and give us their best athletes like Texas and California do, or they should be cut loose. They might want to start comparing their quality of life to other craphole Caribbean nations.

USSR: Still #2 in medal count and they haven't existed since 1990. Eastern Germany is up there too. Why any other country ever gets to host the Olympics is beyond me. The U.S. has 2,500+ all time medals. Our next closest *existing* country is Germany with less than half our count. The Olympics ought to be called "That show where U.S. athletes kick the **** out of their competition."

In conclusion, 'merica.

I'll see your Puerto Rico and raise you the US Virgin Islands. Why do they have their own Olympic team? At least in PR most of them speak Spanish. In the USVI, about the only thing they do that isn't purely American is drive on the left side of the road. And really, I think they only do that to be cute. No, a US territory should be competing as part of the Mother Country.


Does PR and USVI have their own anthem?

[Mississippi Sooner]

I can't speak for Puerto Rico, though it wouldn't surprise me if they have an anthem since so many of them would like to be independent. The USVI has a song called The Virgin Islands March that some people refer to as their national anthem, but it really isn't.

[Midtowner]

I'll see your Puerto Rico and raise you the US Virgin Islands. Why do they have their own Olympic team? At least in PR most of them speak Spanish. In the USVI, about the only thing they do that isn't purely American is drive on the left side of the road. And really, I think they only do that to be cute. No, a US territory should be competing as part of the Mother Country.

Exactly. Be Americans or GTFO. Good luck the next time some Asian navy wants to invade you. You wanted to send your ****ty pole vaulter to go win last place in an event. Choice = made.

[salth2o]

https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/2/LjPQuBhzs0-Y_aPh0lXXMA2.jpg

[soonercruiser]

^^^ oh that's GOLDen :P

I'm all about chanting U-S-A and sh!t, but Ryan Lochte sure has a lot of d00shebaggery about him:
http://em-i-lis.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/ryan-lochte-grill-2012-london-olympics-21.jpg

Must be a Florida Gator thing. S-E-C! S-E-C! :mad:

It's all about fashionable mouth guards and improved athletic perfromance, Badger.
Get patriotic!

[badger]

An interesting perspective on Chinese gymnastics training:
xnxR1lLrkPg

It's not all beating kids with whips, but rather, involves parents sacrificing in hopes of a rags-to-riches gain for the family.

[Bourbon St Sooner]

Damn, the Chinese "women's" water polo team has some big hairy ape throwing our chicks around in the middle. We still kicked their *** anyways. They better get a couple more 250 lb behemoths in there.

[badger]

Damn, the Chinese "women's" water polo team has some big hairy ape throwing our chicks around in the middle. We still kicked their *** anyways. They better get a couple more 250 lb behemoths in there.

Water polo is weird. Everytime you hear the ref blow a whistle? That's a foul. It's basically "Hey! please stop that, thank you" and not really a huge penalty. However, there are a CRAZY amount of penalties in a game for such things as drowning (no joke) and it's common to have several foul out during a game. Check the Wikipedia page on water polo for more craziness.

China is over obsessed with the gold medals. I would say to just let them have them if they're that damn crazy over them, but that would mean less American coaches could squeeze their government and people for money for expensive training schools.

[KantoSooner]

Yeah, China's over obcessed with medals, but it's due to a long term feeling that they've been dissed by the world since the Opium Wars of the 19th century. (and, to be fair, having foreign countries come in, carve out exclusive economic zones and start running your foreign trade would tend to make one a bit touchy. Especially if you'd been vastly ahead of the rest of the world less than 250 years before).
So, I tend to give them a little slack. It's not like we wouldn't do pretty much the same thing in their shoes. And that's the comforting thing about China: they're a lot more like us than, say, the Japanese.
Any group of people who like to roast meat over a grill and drink beer while the kids run around and scream can't be all bad.

[BU BEAR]

http://engrishfunny.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/engrish-funny-you-suck-you-suck-you-suck1.jpg

https://aelizabethwest.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/12torino-large1.jpg?w=584&h=340

Now get off my lawn!