Relationship issue..

[rock on sooner]

Here's the deal...
My living at home daughter, working on her second degree (BSN in nursing) is just finishing
up a semester (one away from pinning) and was planning on a long awaited vacation with
her longtime boyfriend to Wisconsin Dells, paid for by his parents. She had to finish up some
stuff on Thursday..done at noon. BF's parents were in place on Wednesday. He couldn't wait
24 hours for her to finish up so they could drive up together. He leaves on Wednesday, leaving
my daughter hanging. His argument was..since my parents are paying for it, I'm going now.

Now, this BF has been with my daughter for a long time..he comes and goes at my house almost
at will, drinks my beer, generally makes himself at home. I've given him an old big screen TV
and digital converter, since he hit a rough spot in his work and dropped cable..generally been invited
to all holidays, birthdays, baptisms, etc. just like he was family and now he dumps my daughter and
can't wait 24 hours for her to finish her studies.

This is my quandry..how do I react to him when he shows up next?..my wife and I are both simply
stunned by his inconsideration and are really agonizing of how to react. I'd like the board's input..

[salth2o]

This is my quandry..how do I react to him when he shows up next?

Throat punch?

I would be concerned how he may leave her hanging in the future. Me and the BF would have a man to man about several things.

[mojorisen2014]

He just might be a mamas boy. I'd say just cuss him and tell'em next time it happens your gonna be really pissed.

[Mazeppa]

He drinks "YOUR BEER?"
That bastard. I wouldn't let him back in the house.

[3rdgensooner]

How did your daughter react to him taking off without her?

[Breadburner]

Elimidate...!!!!

[olevetonahill]

Ya stay the **** out of it,
Dayum obviously yer daughter is old enough to make up her own mind

Did I say Stay the **** out of it> or Need I say just STFU?

[Jerk]

Round house kick to the FACE

[Turd_Ferguson]

Ya stay the **** out of it,
Dayum obviously yer daughter is old enough to make up her own mind

Did I say Stay the **** out of it> or Need I say just STFU?This^^^^^^ He's a dick...she'll figger it out...

[Mazeppa]

Maybe

[Midtowner]

Whatever your daughter does, support her. If you can fly her out to meet him, that'd be best.

[SanJoaquinSooner]

How did your daughter react to him taking off without her?

As usual, 3g knows what matters at the heart of the situation.

[SicEmBaylor]

He would either be allowed to pork my daughter or drink my beer but not both.

[rock on sooner]

How did your daughter react to him taking off without her?

They talked some about it and he's starting to backwater with "You
didn't tell me you'd be done at noon" She countered with the fact
that she told him four times. She was bummed, said he's an idiot
(quite certain she was thinking stronger terms). Really a disappointing
turn of events, as she had cleared her very busy calendar for this
vacation.

[rock on sooner]

Throat punch, nah, too permanent. Roundhouse kick, I'd pull a muscle (but a
spinning side kick might work instead). I'll hide my beer. Certainly will support
her. Truth is, by the time I see him again, I will have cooled off, so Vet prolly has
it right. Salt2ho has a point, though. I will not forget about the future.

Thanks for the input, gang.....

[Breadburner]

Make sure he didnt rush up there to spend time with an old flame.....

[yermom]

i feel like something has been left out of the story.

did something come up and she had to stay longer? did the parents show up early? what does "in place" mean?

where was he driving from? is that 12 hours away or 2?

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "It wouldn't be so bad if my daughter were lesbian. Men are self-centered, inconsiderate jerks." ?

[MamaMia]

They talked some about it and he's starting to backwater with "You
didn't tell me you'd be done at noon" She countered with the fact
that she told him four times. She was bummed, said he's an idiot
(quite certain she was thinking stronger terms). Really a disappointing
turn of events, as she had cleared her very busy calendar for this
vacation.So the guys a liar as well. Lovely. :rolleyes:

[rock on sooner]

i feel like something has been left out of the story.

did something come up and she had to stay longer? did the parents show up early? what does "in place" mean?

where was he driving from? is that 12 hours away or 2?

Nothing unexpected happened with my daughter's schedule, she even
has a calendar posted for all to see. Parents weren't early (couldn't be,
the Dells are hard to book in summer). Roughly 6 hour drive, daughter's
car not in good enough shape for me to let her drive that far alone. All of
a sudden the BF wanted to leave, pretty sure there isn't another old flame,
they've been together since freshman in college. Mojo mentioned immature,
could be something with that...just really hard to figure....

[yermom]

so she didn't know about the schedule until just now? that still seems odd.

so, i'm guessing that the parents scheduled this and didn't want to be there alone and were complaining that they were wasting money while their son weren't there for a day?

[SanDiegoSoonerGal]

Having been with an inconsiderate jerk myself, I've always appreciated how my parents handled the situation.

Treat him just as you always have. Show absolutely no hostility to him because that will only make things worse for your daughter. Support your daughter in whatever she wants to do. Trust that you've raised her right and she'll eventually figure out she deserves better and dump him when she's ready. You just have to be patient.

[rock on sooner]

Okay, he just showed up...she didn't bust his chops...maybe in private..
Dad overreacted..just gonna watch..still a jerk..still love my daughter..
guess I didn't know the drill..oh, well..SDGal, thanks...

[olevetonahill]

Just curious here. Has any one said to Stay the hell out of This?
Or mentioned Just STFU and mind yer own business?

[SanJoaquinSooner]

Just curious here. Has any one said to Stay the hell out of This?
Or mentioned Just STFU and mind yer own business?

I think you did back on Page 1.

[olevetonahill]

I think you did back on Page 1.

Thot so. If Daughter wants yer advice or help she will ax fer it, Just let her know yer there for her.

[Jacie]

With four daughters i have had literally years to watch and been alternately appalled and pleased with their choice of bf's (only one husband so far and for the most part, okay with him). At no time was my input ever sought and the only person who ever heard anything negative about any of them from me was my wife. Kids have to grow up and learn by doing just the way we did and that includes judging chararcter. Just because we adults can spot a silver-tongued devil at a glance doesn't mean your child is going to heed your advice and avoid them. They have to experience the pain of discovery, figure out how to tell truth from lie, discern a generous person from a selfish one. So whether or not this girl has her eyes wide open or her judgement is clouded by her feelings, she is the one who must decide and live with the consequences.

[C&CDean]

Did I ever mention how ecstatic I am that God never blessed me with female offspring? Well let me mention it now.

[rock on sooner]

Vet, that's what I did...told her just that! Dean, even with the angst
I wouldn't trade at all. Have a daughter and a son...got to experience
raising both, wow, now I have a grandson to spoil and hope to have a
granddaughter to repeat the process.

[Breadburner]

LMK...If he needs to have an "Accident"......!

[Tulsa_Fireman]

Cut his throat and **** in the hole.

Problem solved.

[SoonerBread]

Ya stay the **** out of it,
Dayum obviously yer daughter is old enough to make up her own mind

Did I say Stay the **** out of it> or Need I say just STFU?

+ a gazillion

Stay outta their biz. If you raised her to stand up for herself and love herself first, placing no one's needs before her own, then she'll make the right decision. And maybe the right decision is the one she wants, not the one you want.

[soonerhubs]

I think he's saying that he did stay out of it.

I'm assuming she was given this information when the daughter vented to either you (Rock on) or your wife. It's always awkward in those situations.

[olevetonahill]

I think he's saying that he did stay out of it.

I'm assuming she was given this information when the daughter vented to either you (Rock on) or your wife. It's always awkward in those situations.

Thats correct Hubs, After I tolt him to stay out of it Listened to me and did.

[cleller]

What would Roy D. Mercer do?


Pop-knot.

[8timechamps]

I must have missed this one.

If either of my boys pulled this ****, I'd send them right back out the door and tell them to come back when they're together. Sounds like immaturity. Can't really fix that, only time.

[BigTip]

I've always wanted to go to The Dells, and I don't even really know what it is.

Anyway, invite the boy over for a talk while you are cleaning your gun collection:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQXNd9v9ZT4GHMBge73uwIViJemchsXS YJfPfJGITRpa1pFgHU6mTYRro0d

[rock on sooner]

I've always wanted to go to The Dells, and I don't even really know what it is.

Anyway, invite the boy over for a talk while you are cleaning your gun collection:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQXNd9v9ZT4GHMBge73uwIViJemchsXS YJfPfJGITRpa1pFgHU6mTYRro0d

LOL!

[olevetonahill]

I've always wanted to go to The Dells, and I don't even really know what it is.

Anyway, invite the boy over for a talk while you are cleaning your gun collection:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQXNd9v9ZT4GHMBge73uwIViJemchsXS YJfPfJGITRpa1pFgHU6mTYRro0d

I have done that.

[rock on sooner]

I have done that.

Did it werk?

[olevetonahill]

Did it werk?
Heh, it were years ago and My Niece was staying with us I was on the PoPos at the time. I always had a gun handy when the hairy legged boys came callin.
Dont know how they acted after the left the house with her But I do know they had her home either right on time or a bit early.

[badger]

Here's the deal...
My living at home daughter, working on her second degree (BSN in nursing) is just finishing
up a semester (one away from pinning) and was planning on a long awaited vacation with
her longtime boyfriend to Wisconsin Dells, paid for by his parents. She had to finish up some
stuff on Thursday..done at noon. BF's parents were in place on Wednesday. He couldn't wait
24 hours for her to finish up so they could drive up together. He leaves on Wednesday, leaving
my daughter hanging. His argument was..since my parents are paying for it, I'm going now.

Now, this BF has been with my daughter for a long time..he comes and goes at my house almost
at will, drinks my beer, generally makes himself at home. I've given him an old big screen TV
and digital converter, since he hit a rough spot in his work and dropped cable..generally been invited
to all holidays, birthdays, baptisms, etc. just like he was family and now he dumps my daughter and
can't wait 24 hours for her to finish her studies.

This is my quandry..how do I react to him when he shows up next?..my wife and I are both simply
stunned by his inconsideration and are really agonizing of how to react. I'd like the board's input..

Since your situation sounds resolved, let me just add that Wisconsin Dells is a tourist trap. Tons of water parks, little "duck" buses that drive straight into the water to ride around in, gift shop crap everywhere, and if you don't want to spend tons on an expensive hotel room, you can find cheap camping grounds everywhere.

We took almost annual Girl Scout trips to the largest waterpark in American, Noah's Ark. They banned us from going on "The Plunge" (a face-first high speed water slide) after a girl got hurt one year, heh.

If you are still soliciting advice, this sounds like a situation where there's your daughter's side (I need to finish school work and I told everyone repeatedly that I needed to!) and her BF's side (My parents are griping that we haven't shown up yet, so I'm taking off early to try to calm them down!) and then everyone's parents side (I don't like seeing my child unhappy!). Rather than take sides, be supportive, a shoulder to cry on if necessary and only get involved if things get crazy out of hand.

[rock on sooner]

Well, gang, I asked for the board's input and I got it!
Lots of free good advice and lots of free funny as hell
advice. Gotta love Sooner Fans..never, absolutely,
NEVER dull moment! ROTFLMAO.....

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Sooo... Did your daughter go to The Dells? How did the trip go? Agree with Badj, The Dells are a tourist trap for Chicagoans...

[rock on sooner]

Sooo... Did your daughter go to The Dells? How did the trip go? Agree with Badj, The Dells are a tourist trap for Chicagoans...

No, she didn't go to the Dells but BF came back a day early.
I think to try to make nice. There were no explosions so I
guess I worried for naught. Still ticked me off, though..just
really inconsiderate.

[8timechamps]

Am I the only person that likes the occasional tourist trap?

[SanJoaquinSooner]

I think it's a big mistake to tell the "in-laws" that they are suckers for going to a tourist trap.

[badger]

Am I the only person that likes the occasional tourist trap?

Tourist traps are very enjoyable. If the Dells sucked I would have started faking injury or illness after awhile instead of going annually!


I think it's a big mistake to tell the "in-laws" that they are suckers for going to a tourist trap.
Make nice initially, make fun of em after they leave :P

[8timechamps]

Tourist traps are very enjoyable. If the Dells sucked I would have started faking injury or illness after awhile instead of going annually!


Make nice initially, make fun of em after they leave :P

I love the outdoors and hiking/boating, etc. But, once in a while, I love the tourist traps. With all the crappy souvenir shops and overprices concessions. And throw a go-kart track in there too!

[olevetonahill]

I like Strip joints
Jes sayin

[rock on sooner]

I like Strip joints
Jes sayin

Since that is a trap, what's the bait?

[olevetonahill]

Since that is a trap, what's the bait?

Aint no trap Bro

[rock on sooner]

Aint no trap Bro

So yer tellin me that nothin springs shut? Er, nothin opens
up?

[olevetonahill]

So yer tellin me that nothin springs shut? Er, nothin opens
up?

Not at my age :fatigue:

[salth2o]

Aint no trap Bro

It's a booby trap...

[rock on sooner]

It's a booby trap...

See, I tol ya, Vet!

[SanJoaquinSooner]

I like Strip joints
Jes sayin

do they still require pasties in Oklahoma?

[olevetonahill]

do they still require pasties in Oklahoma?
Hell I aint been to 1 in years, But I remember Total neked.

[CobraKai]

do they still require pasties in Oklahoma?

I haven't been to one in a long long time, but I know in 1990 when I was at OU they didn't. So unless they've added that rule in the last 10+ years or so.