The best worst cover letter ever

[badger]

"I am unequivocally the most unflaggingly hard worker I know, and I love self-improvement. I have always felt that my time should be spent wisely, so I continuously challenge myself ... I decided to redouble my effort by placing out of two classes, taking two honors classes, and holding two part-time jobs. That semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups."

http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/qWESr3tHM1E1AxXX_YkmUg--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYwMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/284/2012/02/09/cover-letter-jpg_154356.jpg

Link (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/tenacious-summer-analyst-applicant-got-laughed-at-by-everyone-else-on-wall-street.html)

[AlboSooner]

Would hire immediately. The finely tuned humor is a sign of great intelligence.

[8timechamps]

I thought it was a great cover letter. I used a similar paragraph or two when I was a kid applying for my first job at Merrill Lynch. The directors that laughed about it (from the article) have probably never really had to apply for a position and stand-out. It's funny to them, but how much attention has this person garnered from that cover letter? Tons.

I like it.

[IBleedCrimson]

"and can perform basic office functions with TERRIFYING efficiency" lol