A Guide to Iowa fans for Oklahoma fans - Black Heart Gold Pants

[49r]

Pretty funny stuff from the Iowa SB Nation blog:


Most Iowa fans are either students, alumni, or employees of the university, but some are residents of the many small towns surrounding Iowa City. The vast majority of these fans are "mole people" who dwell in underground caverns and work as dirt harvesters. Although these "mole people" have lost their sense of sight, they have evolved strong digging claws and keen senses of smell to compensate.

Read the rest here: A Guide to Iowa fans for Oklahoma fans (http://www.blackheartgoldpants.com/2011/12/16/2639900/a-guide-to-iowa-fans-for-oklahoma-fans)

[Soonerfan88]

Iowa fans favor a beverage known as "Natural Light". If you happen to sample this drink, do not be alarmed by its poor quality, as it is used only for sacramental purposes. ["Natural Light" is the name of the dominant religion in the state, and involves the worship of the concept of natural sunlight itself. The mole people evolved the practice as their own sense of sight began to fade and sunlight became a distant memory. They drink the vile brew in the hopes that the "natural light" will once again return to their senses. For those with vision, it is ironic to note that excessive consumption of the drink has precisely the opposite effect.]

Not sure if Vet will be offended or happy to find new friends....

[Mississippi Sooner]

I love how the comments section turned into a debate over John Deere or Case IH.

[badger]

Someone should do one of these for OU fans as a token of goodwill gesture to these fun Ioway folk :)

[TUSooner]

Someone should do one of these for OU fans as a token of goodwill gesture to these fun Ioway folk :)

No one is better qualfied to do it than you are! I await your observations. Or just send them a picture from a tailgate and maybe a page or 2 from the politcs thread.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Students observe a ritual after losses whereby they attempt to punish their bodies for the shame of losing via the ingestion of mass quantities of grain alcohol; they then proceed expel that shame, usually in an alley near the Pedestrian Mall in Iowa City after home games, but anywhere that is convenient after road games. They observe a similar ritual after wins, whereby they attempt to expel any sense of overweening pride in the same manner.*********

They are just like us!

[Breadburner]

No one is better qualfied to do it than you are! I await your observations. Or just send them a picture from a tailgate and maybe a page or 2 from the politcs thread.

Or the delete me thread...Oh wait...!!

[olevetonahill]

Not sure if Vet will be offended or happy to find new friends....

Thats Sacrilege

[Whet]

Idiot Out Wandering Around

[olevetonahill]

Idiot Out Wandering Around

:excitement::very_drunk:

[49r]

How The Stoops Stole The Insight Bowl - Black Heart Gold Pants (http://www.blackheartgoldpants.com/2011/12/21/2650041/how-the-stoops-stole-the-insight-bowl)


Then the Stoops said "Giddyap!" and pilot took to the air

Toward the homes and offices where the Hawks lay a-snooze after doing a ninth shot on a dare.



All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there.

All the Hawks were all dreaming sweet dreams without care

When he came to the first little office building of the square.



"This is stop number one," the new Mike Stoops hissed,

As he came to the door, the camera in his fist.



The door was not even locked, so the Stoops walked right in

An empty trophy case was the only thing to see his ugly grin.



He found the office he wanted, that sneaky alum.

"Ken O’Keefe," the Stoops said. "Boy he’s dumb."



On the whiteboard, Iowa’s four running plays hung all in a row.

"These stretch plays," he grinched, "are the first things to go!"



Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile on display,

Around the whole room, and he took every play!