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View Full Version : Dear Pretentious Wanker Smoking a Cigar in a Public Place


Frozen Sooner
12/6/2011, 10:45 PM
Yeah, I recognize we were in a "cigar bar". I was just there to drink some whiskey with a girl. No, she's not the youngest one out there, but let me tell you: she hands out a tremendous hummer. While you were feeling self-satisfied about basically sticking a dried turd in your mouth and lighting it on fire, then washing it down with Mike's Hard Lemonade or whatever it is you drink to get over your heartbreak that they don't making Zima anymore, I was getting a handy-j under the table.

Sincerely,

Guy who didn't get up and tell you to put that effing thing out only because my fly was open.
Frozen Sooner
12/6/2011, 10:46 PM
The SO doesn't do parody threads like it used to.
47straight
12/6/2011, 10:47 PM
I wonder whose weiner that dude was thinking about with that cigar in his mouth.
Frozen Sooner
12/6/2011, 10:47 PM
Sometimes a cigar is just a burning turd in your mouth.
SicEmBaylor
12/6/2011, 11:09 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/SicEmBaylor/386185_2247328709816_1446120056_31914970_7789224_n .jpg
AlboSooner
12/7/2011, 01:02 AM
huh?
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
12/7/2011, 07:27 AM
Yeah, I recognize we were in a "cigar bar". I was just there to drink some whiskey with a girl. No, she's not the youngest one out there, but let me tell you: she hands out a tremendous hummer. While you were feeling self-satisfied about basically sticking a dried turd in your mouth and lighting it on fire, then washing it down with Mike's Hard Lemonade or whatever it is you drink to get over your heartbreak that they don't making Zima anymore, I was getting a handy-j under the table.

Sincerely,

Guy who didn't get up and tell you to put that effing thing out only because my fly was open.Brilliant!
SoonerTerry
12/7/2011, 08:23 AM
Greatness

spek
SoonerTerry
12/7/2011, 08:25 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/SicEmBaylor/386185_2247328709816_1446120056_31914970_7789224_n .jpg

The bill of that hat kinda washes away the prentiousness....

it almost makes a circle

HOLY **** !!! what are you doing with your left hand?
delhalew
12/7/2011, 08:42 AM
I must be missing the key piece, meaning the original that this parody is mocking.. cause I did.not.get.
SoonerTerry
12/7/2011, 09:40 AM
I must be missing the key piece, meaning the original that this parody is mocking.. cause I did.not.get.


http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?163999-Dear-Semi-Trashy-Middle-Aged-Woman-at-Louie-s...


ywia
delhalew
12/7/2011, 10:01 AM
Durr. Ok, now that I am caught up, F you Froze. Sometimes there's nothing like a good cigar. It's good thang you were getting a handy, you might have gotten a stogie put out on you forehead.:D
Breadburner
12/7/2011, 10:19 AM
Did she think she was handling a "Little Smokie".....:excitement:
Jacie
12/7/2011, 11:54 AM
Did she think she was handling a "Little Smokie".....:excitement:

Wifey refers to those as teenie cocktail weenies . . .
SoonerLaw09
12/7/2011, 12:38 PM
Dadgum, SicEm, you look like 9 miles of bad road.
Lott's Bandana
12/7/2011, 01:16 PM
Don't "cigar bars" have...


ashtrays?
49r
12/7/2011, 02:45 PM
Brilliant!

3DPKf7y1F-Q
Fraggle145
12/7/2011, 03:13 PM
heh.
delhalew
12/7/2011, 03:20 PM
Guinness ads are awesome. So are the Jameson ads. Go Irish!
StoopTroup
12/7/2011, 04:15 PM
Bear urine?


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/SicEmBaylor/386185_2247328709816_1446120056_31914970_7789224_n .jpg
StoopTroup
12/7/2011, 04:18 PM
Don't "cigar bars" have...


ashtrays?

Nothing like a handy while smoking a nice cigar and a 12 year old Scotch. Mike's Lemonade? Someone should have stopped their handy and kicked him in the junk for that. :D