Alum81
10/6/2011, 09:21 AM
Coach Stoops office: Phone rings.
Intercom: “Coach, Mack Brown on Line 1”
Stoops: “Tell him I’m busy”
Intercom: “He says its important”
Stoops:”Tell him I’m talking to Barry. “
Intercom: “He says its very important”
Stoops: “Tell him I’m reviewing game film from 2000 and 2003”
Intercom: “He said that wasn’t very funny. He says it really is important. He says it’s about the stability of the Big 12. Please, Coach, take the call, he’s driving me crazy”
Stoops:”Oh, ok, put him through to my speaker phone”
Brown:”Bob? You there? Hey, its your good friend Mack.”
Stoops: “Hey Mack, I was just thinking of you this morning while I was preparing our game plan with our coordinators. “
Brown:”Yeah, really? Ya’ll thought of me?”
Stoops: “Yeah, we’ve got a pool going on what quarter you’re going to put your hand to your head in frustration.”
Brown:” Well, that's kind of why I'm calling Bob, no fooling ok?”
Stoops:”Yeah, but its just friendly wagering, you know, no real money involved, just so the NCAA knows. So, Mack, what’s up?”
Brown:”Listen, Bob, we’ve got to stick together to make this Longhorn Net….umm, Big 12 thing work out. You know, Texas and OU.”
Stoops:”Right. So, Mack, how many subscribers ya’ll got on that network now? ”
Brown:”Bob, it’s a really good thing. You need to talk to your President about one for yourself. I can introduce you to the boys down at ESPN if you’d like.”
Stoops:”Right. So, Mack, back to my question. How many thousands of subscribers ya’ll got on that network now?”
Brown:” You can really enhance your recruiting presence by having your own network, Bob, let me tell you”
Stoops:” Mack! Numbers! How many ya got?”
Brown:” Well over a hundred”
Stoops:”Wow. Already a hundred thousand subscribers?”
Brown:”Well over”
Stoops:”A Hundred thousand, right?”
Brown:”Well over a hundred.”
Stoops:”thousand. A hundred thousand, right? “
Brown:”Lets get back to the purpose of my call, please, Bob?”
Intercom:”Coach Stoops, Nike is here with your hat.”
Brown:”I heard that. Bob, listen, you’re not really going to wear a Beat Texas hat Saturday, are you? That’s part of what I want to talk to you about Bob. We need to stick together in this for the betterment of both our schools.”
Stoops: pulls hat out of box, “Sweet! This is even nicer than Barry’s.”
Brown:”Bob. Are you listening to me? We’ve got to stick together.”
Stoops:” You mean like you guys had our back when we went to the table with the Pac-12?”
Brown:”Yes! We were looking out for both our universities best interests!”
Stoops:”Mack, I”ve got to go to a coach’s meeting to discuss our game plan against you this Saturday.”
Brown:”Bob, listen I’ll cut to the point. If you beat us too bad it’s going to look bad for the conference, you know?”
Stoops:”What are you saying Mack?”
Intercom: “Coach, Coach Switzer is here to see you.”
Brown:”Bob, please call off your dogs if you get up by 3 or 4 scores. That’s all I’m saying. The conference needs for Texas to stay in the Top 25. You need for us to stay in the Top 25 for your computer ratings.”
Coach Switzer enters the room
Switzer, beaming:”Hey Bob, ready to go hang half a hundred on em by half time?? “
Brown, mumbling:”oh no, not him….”
Stoops:”What’s that again, Mack? I’ve got Coach Switzer here with me. (turns to Switzer) Coach, Mack here was just making a case for us to take it easy on them this Saturday. You know, something about being good for Texas is good for the
conference, that kinda stuff.”
Switzer: (pointing at phone, whispers to Stoops)”Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.”
Brown:”So, Bob, what do you say?”
Stoops:”Tell you what, Mack…”
Brown:”I’ll even promise not to sideways clap when we get our first score.”
Stoops: (whispers to Barry)”Who says were gonna let them score? He he”
Stoops:"Mack I can't make any promises. My guys are really hungry. You ever watched your team win convincingly each week, only to drop down two weeks in a row from 1st to 3rd?"
Mack:"Thats AP! I voted for you, Bob, you gotta know I voted for you. (Mumbles under his breath) I KNEW those drops in the polls were NOT going to be a good thing for this game."
Stoops:”Mack, this has been real enjoyable visiting with you. I gotta go, but I’m gonna leave Coach Switzer in my office to visit with you some more, so I’ll see you Saturday on the field”
Switzer:”So, Mack, You remember that time you said ‘I used to think it was only me. Then I talked to Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden at one point and they said, 'Oh we've been beaten up our whole lives. Understand it's not you, big boy. You're nothing special. It's part of this deal and part of this job.”? Well, Mack let me tell you…
Click. Ring tone.
Intercom: “Coach Switzer, we've lost the connection.”
Switzer:”I knew I never should’ve hired him. Hmmm, this Nike hat is better than mine!”
Intercom: “Coach, Mack Brown on Line 1”
Stoops: “Tell him I’m busy”
Intercom: “He says its important”
Stoops:”Tell him I’m talking to Barry. “
Intercom: “He says its very important”
Stoops: “Tell him I’m reviewing game film from 2000 and 2003”
Intercom: “He said that wasn’t very funny. He says it really is important. He says it’s about the stability of the Big 12. Please, Coach, take the call, he’s driving me crazy”
Stoops:”Oh, ok, put him through to my speaker phone”
Brown:”Bob? You there? Hey, its your good friend Mack.”
Stoops: “Hey Mack, I was just thinking of you this morning while I was preparing our game plan with our coordinators. “
Brown:”Yeah, really? Ya’ll thought of me?”
Stoops: “Yeah, we’ve got a pool going on what quarter you’re going to put your hand to your head in frustration.”
Brown:” Well, that's kind of why I'm calling Bob, no fooling ok?”
Stoops:”Yeah, but its just friendly wagering, you know, no real money involved, just so the NCAA knows. So, Mack, what’s up?”
Brown:”Listen, Bob, we’ve got to stick together to make this Longhorn Net….umm, Big 12 thing work out. You know, Texas and OU.”
Stoops:”Right. So, Mack, how many subscribers ya’ll got on that network now? ”
Brown:”Bob, it’s a really good thing. You need to talk to your President about one for yourself. I can introduce you to the boys down at ESPN if you’d like.”
Stoops:”Right. So, Mack, back to my question. How many thousands of subscribers ya’ll got on that network now?”
Brown:” You can really enhance your recruiting presence by having your own network, Bob, let me tell you”
Stoops:” Mack! Numbers! How many ya got?”
Brown:” Well over a hundred”
Stoops:”Wow. Already a hundred thousand subscribers?”
Brown:”Well over”
Stoops:”A Hundred thousand, right?”
Brown:”Well over a hundred.”
Stoops:”thousand. A hundred thousand, right? “
Brown:”Lets get back to the purpose of my call, please, Bob?”
Intercom:”Coach Stoops, Nike is here with your hat.”
Brown:”I heard that. Bob, listen, you’re not really going to wear a Beat Texas hat Saturday, are you? That’s part of what I want to talk to you about Bob. We need to stick together in this for the betterment of both our schools.”
Stoops: pulls hat out of box, “Sweet! This is even nicer than Barry’s.”
Brown:”Bob. Are you listening to me? We’ve got to stick together.”
Stoops:” You mean like you guys had our back when we went to the table with the Pac-12?”
Brown:”Yes! We were looking out for both our universities best interests!”
Stoops:”Mack, I”ve got to go to a coach’s meeting to discuss our game plan against you this Saturday.”
Brown:”Bob, listen I’ll cut to the point. If you beat us too bad it’s going to look bad for the conference, you know?”
Stoops:”What are you saying Mack?”
Intercom: “Coach, Coach Switzer is here to see you.”
Brown:”Bob, please call off your dogs if you get up by 3 or 4 scores. That’s all I’m saying. The conference needs for Texas to stay in the Top 25. You need for us to stay in the Top 25 for your computer ratings.”
Coach Switzer enters the room
Switzer, beaming:”Hey Bob, ready to go hang half a hundred on em by half time?? “
Brown, mumbling:”oh no, not him….”
Stoops:”What’s that again, Mack? I’ve got Coach Switzer here with me. (turns to Switzer) Coach, Mack here was just making a case for us to take it easy on them this Saturday. You know, something about being good for Texas is good for the
conference, that kinda stuff.”
Switzer: (pointing at phone, whispers to Stoops)”Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.”
Brown:”So, Bob, what do you say?”
Stoops:”Tell you what, Mack…”
Brown:”I’ll even promise not to sideways clap when we get our first score.”
Stoops: (whispers to Barry)”Who says were gonna let them score? He he”
Stoops:"Mack I can't make any promises. My guys are really hungry. You ever watched your team win convincingly each week, only to drop down two weeks in a row from 1st to 3rd?"
Mack:"Thats AP! I voted for you, Bob, you gotta know I voted for you. (Mumbles under his breath) I KNEW those drops in the polls were NOT going to be a good thing for this game."
Stoops:”Mack, this has been real enjoyable visiting with you. I gotta go, but I’m gonna leave Coach Switzer in my office to visit with you some more, so I’ll see you Saturday on the field”
Switzer:”So, Mack, You remember that time you said ‘I used to think it was only me. Then I talked to Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden at one point and they said, 'Oh we've been beaten up our whole lives. Understand it's not you, big boy. You're nothing special. It's part of this deal and part of this job.”? Well, Mack let me tell you…
Click. Ring tone.
Intercom: “Coach Switzer, we've lost the connection.”
Switzer:”I knew I never should’ve hired him. Hmmm, this Nike hat is better than mine!”