Parenting advice needed [Archive] - SoonerFans.com Message Boards

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 11:36 AM

My 10 year old son came within an inch of destroying my 51-inch plasma TV. He was climbing on the entertainment center and a removable shelf came loose and dropped onto the TV. The frame has a few gouges in it, but the screen escaped injury.

Now, what's the appropriate punishment?

Lott's Bandana

9/22/2011, 11:37 AM

Make him watch The View for a week.

sooner_born_1960

9/22/2011, 11:39 AM

Why is a 10-year old climbing an entertainment center? This has "fail" written all over it.

Curly Bill

9/22/2011, 11:39 AM

Seeing how you're coming to a message board for parenting advice he should probably be taken away from you. Would probably be best for all involved.

Breadburner

9/22/2011, 11:40 AM

Beat his ***....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 11:44 AM

Why is a 10-year old climbing an entertainment center? This has "fail" written all over it.

I asked him that very question. He said he was playing "American Ninja Warrior".

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 11:44 AM

Beat his ***....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was trying to come up with something more creative.

RacerX

9/22/2011, 11:45 AM

Time for a playset in the backyard.

Figure out what you can deprive him of for a week or two...computer, gaming console, etc.

stoops the eternal pimp

9/22/2011, 11:48 AM

My children don't come within 5 feet of my TV so I dont know...I told them it would swallow them up as babies..so far so good.

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 11:49 AM

Time for a playset in the backyard.

Got one of those, but it doesn't have the necessary features, I guess.

Figure out what you can deprive him of for a week or two...computer, gaming console, etc.

Used such things before, their impact is variable. Sometimes it affects him, sometimes not.

badger

9/22/2011, 11:59 AM

If he broke the TV, he wouldn't be able to use it.

He said he was playing American Ninja Warrior. That's a TV show.

The appropriate punishment here seems to be no TV for a very long time, just like what would have happened if the TV actually broke.

And, if he doesn't seem to care, add exercise to the punishment. Pushups, chinups and situps outta get all of that "American Ninja Warrior" outta his system :D

sooner_born_1960

9/22/2011, 12:10 PM

I'd rethink using exercise as a punishment, for obvious reasons.

Lott's Bandana

9/22/2011, 12:14 PM

badger

9/22/2011, 12:22 PM

Lol. I was joking about that last part. Hence the :D

I am not a parent nor will be for the foreseeable future, but what I've heard is that the punishment must make sense to the kid in order for it to have any effect. Since the TV was nearly destroyed, it would make sense that the punishment involve the TV. Take away video games played on the TV, take away the TV show he was trying to impersonate, take away something related to the TV.

I've heard that little kids are hard to punish for a lengthy time, so no more than 10 days probably. Rewarding for behaving days also helps, such as cutting off a day of punishment for each day of behaving.

Also, if there's siblings, make sure they, along with the rest of the family, aren't punished also, just the one that nearly broke the TV. If the TV is on, video games are played, or American Ninja Warrior is being watched, the kid goes to another room... one without TV access, hehe.

Thoughts?

Jacie

9/22/2011, 01:31 PM

Hate to tell you but the statute of limitations has run out. Kids, like dogs, must be disciplined immediately to even begin to associate the consequence with the action. OTOH, you can remind the kid of this incident at family get togethers forever and I guarantee, the older they get the more they will suffer for it.

badger

9/22/2011, 01:38 PM

It might not be too late because he's 10, that's double digits! :D

Just have the TV unplugged or the video game controllers gone when he gets home from school. If he asks what's going on, remind him that he nearly killed the TV so the TV is going to be off limits for awhile.

Turd_Ferguson

9/22/2011, 01:51 PM

Raise your chidren's to know better than to climb on furniture. YWIA.

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 01:57 PM

Baj, for a non-parent, you sure are good at it. You and NP might want to give it a try sometime.

At the time the incident happened, I was more concerned with whether the shelf in question had hit him on the head and whether we needed to call 911. The furniture has one of those power center thingies hidden away, where I have the TV and the Wii plugged in. I could just go home and shut off the master power. He'd have no idea what was going on.

"Gee, son, you must have broken it after all. Sorry about that. Gonna be a while before we can save up for a new one."

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 01:58 PM

Raise your chidren's to know better than to climb on furniture. YWIA.

You can raise a little boy perfect, and still, sometime as he goes along, he's gonna **** up royally. It's a law of nature.

Lott's Bandana

9/22/2011, 01:59 PM

Baj, for a non-parent, you sure are good at it. You and NP might want to give it a try sometime.

At the time the incident happened, I was more concerned with whether the shelf in question had hit him on the head and whether we needed to call 911. The furniture has one of those power center thingies hidden away, where I have the TV and the Wii plugged in. I could just go home and shut off the master power. He'd have no idea what was going on.

I dunno.

He's a Master Ninja Assassin Warrior American dude thingy.

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 02:04 PM

I dunno.

He's a Master Ninja Assassin Warrior American dude thingy.

Troof.

badger

9/22/2011, 02:14 PM

Wellll... you COULD lie to him, but have you seen any engineer aspirations out of him yet --- a lot of taking apart and putting back together stuff yet?

If that's the case, then that's asking for trouble, because your little engineer will just try to fix the TV himself and you may actually end up with a broken TV afterward :D

NormanPride

9/22/2011, 02:31 PM

I am so proud of you, hon. :)

pphilfran

9/22/2011, 02:37 PM

My dad had the plan...

If I messed up bad he would put me on restriction...the amount of time depended on me....he would order a dump truck load of dirt and I would have to spread it in all the low spots...when the job was complete I was off restriction...

My azzhole buddies would ride by on their bikes and give me chit....

Over time, our yard ended up being eight inches higher than neighboring yards...

badger

9/22/2011, 02:40 PM

That sounds like a Hank Hill punishment.

Seriously, that show cracks me up with how he deals with Bobby's misbehaving. One example:

[Trying to divert Bobby's interest away from witchcraft]
Hank: This is a carburetor. Take it apart, put it back together, repeat until you're normal.

8timechamps

9/22/2011, 03:01 PM

Boys will be boys. I have two, and so far (knock on wood), I've escaped anything serious. The only thing I can add to this conversation is to tell you that my boys know (and have always known) what they can get away with, and what they can't. Climbing on furniture is one of those things they know they can't get away with.

As mentioned earlier, the statute of limitations has run out. A punishment at this point (especially a punishment for something that almost happened), wouldn't really do much except make your son resent you.

I'd just say it's time to have a "come to Jesus" meeting about what the rules are. Better late than never.

rekamrettuB

9/22/2011, 03:26 PM

Now are you worried about your TV getting broken or you boy getting hurt?

SoonerLaw09

9/22/2011, 04:56 PM

Now are you worried about your TV getting broken or you boy getting hurt?

Please refer to post #18 in this thread.

northspeter

9/22/2011, 05:47 PM

shave his head... by the time it grows back... he may have learned a lesson...

C&CDean

9/22/2011, 06:09 PM

I'll just offer my pop's strategy - which in turn became mine: Is there irrefutable evidence that the boy climbed the wall unit? Yes? Beat that mother****ing *** to within an inch of his life. No? Beat that mother****ing *** to within an inch of his life.

It works.

KantoSooner

9/23/2011, 09:00 AM

Make sure he knows you were concerned most about his safety.

Then give him a tv ban for 1 month. And enforce it. If he bitches too much, point him toward books. At his age, I'd suggest an abridged version of Treasure Island.

BillyBall

9/23/2011, 09:09 AM

No food for a week, and waterboard him.

NormanPride

9/23/2011, 09:16 AM

A waterboarded child is a happy and healthy child.

BigJerm7

9/23/2011, 09:32 AM

get rid of the entertainment center

SoonerLaw09

9/23/2011, 10:15 AM

Make sure he knows you were concerned most about his safety.

That was the first thing I did.

Then give him a tv ban for 1 month. And enforce it. If he bitches too much, point him toward books. At his age, I'd suggest an abridged version of Treasure Island.

He reads quite a bit already, and his tastes are fairly broad. He'll read Treasure Island in school in a coupla years, so that's covered.

Thanks for the suggestions, both good, bad, and humorous. I was tempted by the Hank Hill method. However, I settled on a CtJ meeting, a 2 week ban on video games and the shows he likes/has recorded, and extra chores. I did not ban him from TV altogether, because that would mean I couldn't watch the OU game on the good TV, and I'm not the one being punished. :) I also told him that if he ever again uses the furniture or fixtures of the house for anything other than its intended purpose, I would start docking his allowance. This hit home, as he is saving up for a car, you see. :)

NormanPride

9/23/2011, 10:47 AM

Saving for a car at 11? Good kid.

badger

9/23/2011, 10:56 AM

I would start docking his allowance. This hit home, as he is saving up for a car, you see. :)

Something by Airhogs, I assume? They have some pretty neat RC stuff

SoonerTerry

9/23/2011, 11:02 AM

Did it scare the **** out of him?

I remember doing a few stupid things like this when I was a kid, and for me the terror of knowing I just screwed up big time was what stayed with me and kept me from doing that particular stupid thing again.

KantoSooner

9/23/2011, 11:08 AM

A dirt clod 'war' that stepped up to bb guns and then took the nuclear escalation leap to
.22's.
That was not a good semester for me and my compadres.

We were 11.

8timechamps

9/23/2011, 12:14 PM

That was the first thing I did.

He reads quite a bit already, and his tastes are fairly broad. He'll read Treasure Island in school in a coupla years, so that's covered.

Thanks for the suggestions, both good, bad, and humorous. I was tempted by the Hank Hill method. However, I settled on a CtJ meeting, a 2 week ban on video games and the shows he likes/has recorded, and extra chores. I did not ban him from TV altogether, because that would mean I couldn't watch the OU game on the good TV, and I'm not the one being punished. :) I also told him that if he ever again uses the furniture or fixtures of the house for anything other than its intended purpose, I would start docking his allowance. This hit home, as he is saving up for a car, you see. :)

Yeah, I tried (with my first son) to ban him from TV, but when he was young, he wouldn't watch football with me, so if I was going to watch any of the game, I had to give in to him watching something else in another room. I'm weak like that.

Jacie

9/23/2011, 12:24 PM

Baj, for a non-parent, you sure are good at it. You and NP might want to give it a try sometime.

The first statement: Childless people are always full of really good advice for parents.

The second statement: I second the motion for yet another childless couple to put their theories to the test when it counts (i.e. with their own kids, not someone else's).

SoonerLaw09

9/23/2011, 12:31 PM

Something by Airhogs, I assume? They have some pretty neat RC stuff

Nah, he wants this:

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2009/07/tfcamarospecial_lead.jpg

He has this crazy idea that it's an alien robot in disguise. No idea where he got that from. :)

Preservation Parcels

9/23/2011, 06:52 PM

Explain to him that some things are for climbing, and some things are not. Then, take him to the playground and climb on the equipment with him. Show him how to climb a tree safely. Kids who are good at tree climbing do better in math.

Explain that throwing a football outside can lead to good things. Teach him how to throw a good spiral. Kids value what they do with their parents, and you're his best first coach.

Spend time with him showing him where being a boy, doing things that are good for boys, is appropriate.

Signed,
Mom of four great sons, wife of a good father

C&CDean

9/23/2011, 08:42 PM

Nah, he wants this:

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2009/07/tfcamarospecial_lead.jpg

He has this crazy idea that it's an alien robot in disguise. No idea where he got that from. :)

Tell him it's a POS Chevy and that he needs counselling.

OU_Sooners75

9/23/2011, 09:03 PM

A dirt clod 'war' that stepped up to bb guns and then took the nuclear escalation leap to
.22's.
That was not a good semester for me and my compadres.

We were 11.

HA...you had one of those too?

KantoSooner

9/26/2011, 03:10 PM

Yeah, it was great, but somehow our dads did not believe that we were using the .22's 'just for the sounds' and had 'everything under control'. I think they were torn between beating us damn near to death or being happy that we hadn't shot anyone.

badger

9/26/2011, 03:25 PM

The first statement: Childless people are always full of really good advice for parents.

The second statement: I second the motion for yet another childless couple to put their theories to the test when it counts (i.e. with their own kids, not someone else's).

Yeah, my friend works at a children's museum and is really sick of people who think the only experts on children are people who have them. Of course, after I have kids someday I'll probably feel the same way.

proud gonzo

9/28/2011, 11:38 PM

Who the **** recommenced an abridged version of treasure island? Abridged versions of anything are complete **** and will just teach kids that books are boring pieces of crap and discourage them from reading more. On the other hand, reading actual good pieces of literature will teach them, "hey, this reading stuff is awesome!" and they will do it more. I read the ACTUAL version of Treasure Island when I was ten, and it was a great book. Then I had to read the abridged version in school and wanted to stab my eyeballs it was so awful.

**** abridged versions.