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View Full Version : Does Playing On A Losing Team/Losing A Lot at Sports Bother You?



lexsooner
8/2/2011, 10:48 AM
This goes for varsity school sports, intramurals, recreational sports leagues, anything? My USTA men's tennis team loses more than it wins, but I started with these guys years ago and am friends with them and do not want to be on any other team. I have a mixed record, and I could have more wins if I played on better teams (better doubles partners) but I am happy with my current team. I know some players who could not tolerate being on anything but a winning team, even in USTA, which is just a recreational league and nothing more. Interestingly, there is little correlation between the success of players in their lives outside of tennis and their success on the tennis courts. Some players who lose a lot are winners in life, and the reverse is true.

GDC
8/2/2011, 10:50 AM
Almost every team I was ever part of lost more than they won, so I got used to it. Just like in wrestling, I could tell you how many lights there were in the ceiling of just about every gym in NE Oklahoma.:D

IndySooner
8/2/2011, 10:58 AM
This goes for varsity school sports, intramurals, recreational sports leagues, anything? My USTA men's tennis team loses more than it wins, but I started with these guys years ago and am friends with them and do not want to be on any other team. I have a mixed record, and I could have more wins if I played on better teams (better doubles partners) but I am happy with my current team. I know some players who could not tolerate being on anything but a winning team, even in USTA, which is just a recreational league and nothing more. Interestingly, there is little correlation between the success of players in their lives outside of tennis and their success on the tennis courts. Some players who lose a lot are winners in life, and the reverse is true.

Been playing USTA's for seven years now and we've never won the leagues until this year, when we won the 3.5 and my mixed team won the 7.0 league here. Losing bothers me, because I'm competitive as hell, but I don't dwell on it like I do a bad month at work, for example.

rekamrettuB
8/2/2011, 11:11 AM
I suggest taking your talents to South Beach.

TUSooner
8/2/2011, 11:18 AM
Winning is generally more fun that losing, but not always.

I played on softball teams that were good and bad, and I enjoyed 'em both because I had the chance to try my hardest, win or lose.
I have seen winning teams (mainly in my kids' sports) that were populated by miserable, stressed-out zombies. And one of the best team experinces - in terms of both fun and learning about real life - was on a team that hardly ever won. Of course, my daughters have played on good & fun winning teams as well as miserable underachieving losing teams. I guess the bottom line is that winning is NOT everything or the only thing, except maybe in the pros.

royalfan5
8/2/2011, 11:21 AM
I always found that losing in football was worse than basketball or track. Mostly because you felt it a lot more if you got the **** kicked out of you in football.

lexsooner
8/2/2011, 11:55 AM
Winning is generally more fun that losing, but not always.

I played on softball teams that were good and bad, and I enjoyed 'em both because I had the chance to try my hardest, win or lose.
I have seen winning teams (mainly in my kids' sports) that were populated by miserable, stressed-out zombies. And one of the best team experinces - in terms of both fun and learning about real life - was on a team that hardly ever won. Of course, my daughters have played on good & fun winning teams as well as miserable underachieving losing teams. I guess the bottom line is that winning is NOT everything or the only thing, except maybe in the pros.

^^^^
This. In USTA having a winning team is more a matter of investing the time and effort to recruit better players in the league onto your team. It takes no special skills or coaching ability, none actually. I don't care enough about USTA to spend that kind of time or effort. Of course it's fun to win, but to me the friendships and competition mean more.

lexsooner
8/2/2011, 11:59 AM
Been playing USTA's for seven years now and we've never won the leagues until this year, when we won the 3.5 and my mixed team won the 7.0 league here. Losing bothers me, because I'm competitive as hell, but I don't dwell on it like I do a bad month at work, for example.

Congrats, Indy. I enjoy USTA quite a bit, but I do think in the five or six years in which I have been playing, it has gotten noticeably more competitive and serious. I played 7.0 mixed this summer and I would say more than half the teams entered were "serious" teams which were gunning for districts. I remember back in the day at 6.0, there were a couple of gunner teams, but the rest were fun teams. This summer I ran into that strong 4.0 man/3.0 woman combination regularly, and it took lots of the fun away.

badger
8/2/2011, 12:00 PM
Our high school football team would be lucky to win a game or two each season, and for awhile after I was gone, had a losing streak that spanned multiple seasons.

I was on a basketball team one year that won, like two games the entire season. However, it wasn't my fault so it didn't bother me (had mono during the first part of the season, hardly played the rest as I tried to recover). It might have bothered those playing, but it didn't bug me.

From that perspective, I think some were upset over playing time, because everyone was doing all of the work in practice that everyone else was (I was to a lesser degree thanks to a doctor's note, lol) but they were still playing the same girls that were losing all of those games. It's like --- we're losing anyway! Might as well get new girls into the rotation!

The coach was an utter beyonce too. Spent all of halftime cursing at the entire time for their losing ways. That was certainly a fun experience. It's like --- yeah, you go lose more girls! I'll just continue sitting on the bench with my mono, hehe.

Ike
8/2/2011, 12:01 PM
"It doesn't matter who wins or loses, but who buys the beers after the game."

I've had great times playing for winning teams.
I've had great times playing for losing teams.
I've had awful times playing for winning teams.
I've had awful times playing for losing teams.

Of course, playing on the winning teams that were also populated with enjoyable people were the best of those times, and the losing teams with terrible people were really awful times. And losing with people you like is still losing, but the people are there to take the edge off...and winning with people you don't is still winning...but it's less fun than it could be.

badger
8/2/2011, 12:13 PM
I love casual games. It was when it was competitive that it stopped being fun for a lot of my classmates, methinks. My primary sport in high school was running, and it was fun because you could compete with your own personal times and records in addition to others.

Summer softball with church groups was really fun. I sucked at it, but it was a nice little break from mundane summertime.

sappstuf
8/2/2011, 12:48 PM
Yes. Nothing better than winning three pick-up basketball games in a row.

OhU1
8/2/2011, 01:11 PM
Depends on the sport. In social sports - just playing for fun, it's no fun win or lose if you're playing with a-holes.

I played tennis with a guy once who was so wound up and ultracompetitive that he would call the balls in or out long before they landed and regardless of which side of the court he was on. If you returned a difficult shot or slammed the ball past him he froze and gave you a hard look like he took it personally. He wasn’t any good and he was easy to beat but it was no fun.

OUMallen
8/2/2011, 01:12 PM
I always knew if my team was any good or not. When we weren't, it wasn't too hard to just go, bust your butt, and have a good time regardless of the outcome.

When we were good, though, each loss was that much more painful.

lexsooner
8/2/2011, 01:26 PM
Depends on the sport. In social sports - just playing for fun, it's no fun win or lose if you're playing with a-holes.

I played tennis with a guy once who was so wound up and ultracompetitive that he would call the balls in or out long before they landed and regardless of which side of the court he was on. If you returned a difficult shot or slammed the ball past him he froze and gave you a hard look like he took it personally. He wasn’t any good and he was easy to beat but it was no fun.

Agreed. In USTA league tennis, you can have nice or not so nice people on winning or losing teams. My biggest problem with being on a winning team is the captain often recruited his or her players only because they are good tennis players, and the second you don't win for that captain or get injured, take a break, you will get the boot from the team. In other words, the teams are based on one common thread, winning at tennis, not on friendships or relationships or fun. For me, I don't need that kind of pressure or aggravation in what is supposed to be fun, recreational tennis.

As far as the childish baby you described on the court, those type of people never amount to anything in life. ;)

SoonerBread
8/3/2011, 01:05 AM
I had little success as a basketball player, lots of success as a baseball player.

I've been on both sides of an ***-kicking. Don't like either one because it sucks to get one and I know what it feels like when we're beating the pants off the opponent.

But I'd rather be on a team that enjoys playing the game (no matter the sport) that either loses or wins than to be on a team that is full of dooshes or prima-donnas.

I coach a competitive baseball team. We've asked kids not to stay with us because we couldn't condone the attitude or behavior of the kid. I'm willing to try to break any kid of a bad attitude, but when it ain't gonna happen, I'm not willing to let it affect the entire team. I don't care how good a player or athlete he is. I've even helped parents find teams for their kids. It's not personal, I just can't allow it on my team. It goes against what we try to teach.

I guess to answer the question... I'd rather play on a ****-poor team with good guys than play on a team that wins everything and everyone hates them and each other. Ultimately it's supposed to be fun, no matter what level. When it becomes fun no longer, it's time to move on to another endeavor.

I also hate when we beat someone and they act like they allowed it to happen, talk about it like it was a fluke, discredit our efforts and abilities, and/or lose with disgrace. One thing I teach my kids is after the game is over, give your opponent love. Respect them and their effort, no matter the outcome. Between the lines we want to beat the pants off them, but after it's over, real life kicks in and we have to be gentlemen, even if they're pricks.

SicEmBaylor
8/3/2011, 01:21 AM
I've always been a big proponent of individual sports. I swam competitively for more than a decade, and I have a closet full of medals and ribbons to show for my effort. Not a single one of those was earned by anyone but me (okay a few of them are for relays...).

However, I was always part of a team. I did want my friends to do well, but to be honest I couldn't care less if my team did well or ****ty as long as I did well. The exception were the relays, but I considered those to be of a secondary importance to my own individual races.

Now, I also coached swimming for a couple of years. I definitely cared that my individual swimmers did well, but once again I never really considered it a team in the sense that it was a team effort.

If I ever have kids, I'm going to encourage them to participate in individual sports like swimming, golf, tennis, etc. Unless of course they're ****ty at all those and then I'll stick a pair of pads on 'em and send them to the football squad. :D

MamaMia
8/3/2011, 01:54 AM
Its more fun to win but being a part of the team and having fun with friends, making happy memories and all is special. You have to be a good sport to make it work though. :)

hawaii 5-0
8/3/2011, 02:23 AM
Playing on a losing team and still holding your head up builds character.

Winning graciously is good too.


5-0


Trump/ Kansas State Football in the 70's 2012

OU_Sooners75
8/3/2011, 04:09 AM
Well, I went to high school in Ponca City. So www accustomed to the 2-8 or 3-7 seasons. Thank god we were really good at wrestling.

When I went to college we got to te semifinals in the national championship playoff 3 years in a row, so we won quite a few games.

I have experienced both winning a lot and losing a lot. Losing always sucks, but it teaches valuable lessons.

AlbqSooner
8/3/2011, 07:12 AM
When I played Midget league baseball, we won the city championship one year. The next year, with over half the team having turned whatever age moved them up, our ragtag outfit went 1-11 for the season. The 1-11 season was sooooo much more fun. The stress of being on a very highly rated team was palpable even to a 10 year old.

TUSooner
8/3/2011, 07:32 AM
***
I coach a competitive baseball team. We've asked kids not to stay with us because we couldn't condone the attitude or behavior of the kid. I'm willing to try to break any kid of a bad attitude, but when it ain't gonna happen, I'm not willing to let it affect the entire team. I don't care how good a player or athlete he is. I've even helped parents find teams for their kids. It's not personal, I just can't allow it on my team. It goes against what we try to teach.
***


I wish you had coached my youngest daughter's soccer team for the last few years (about U15 to U18). It was infested with "Barbies" -- stuck-up little chippies who showed up only to gossip and whisper. It would have been better to replace them with less talented and more committed player who would have at least made it fun for the rest of the team.

It still piszes me off a bit to think about those brats, some of whom were just like their spoiled, rich "real housewives" mommies. It was truly disheartening to be a part of such a team. But the young male coach (a good guy actually) simply lacked the testicular fortitude to deal with those girls or their moms. The lesson for the good girls was that it's better to have a team of players who try hard to win for each other, even if they fail, than to have talented players who don't give a damn about the team or most of their teammates.

lexsooner
8/3/2011, 08:11 AM
I wish you had coached my youngest daughter's soccer team for the last few years (about U15 to U18). It was infested with "Barbies" -- stuck-up little chippies who showed up only to gossip and whisper. It would have been better to replace them with less talented and more committed player who would have at least made it fun for the rest of the team.

It still piszes me off a bit to think about those brats, some of whom were just like their spoiled, rich "real housewives" mommies. It was truly disheartening to be a part of such a team. But the young male coach (a good guy actually) simply lacked the testicular fortitude to deal with those girls or their moms. The lesson for the good girls was that it's better to have a team of players who try hard to win for each other, even if they fail, than to have talented players who don't give a damn about the team or most of their teammates.

That's an interesting story. USTA tennis league is loaded with Barbies. Some of them are good players and dedicated to getting better and others are not, just like other players. However, what sets the Barbies apart is, as I have noticed as a keen social observer, is almost all of them expect to win and/or be on winning teams, regardless of their tennis abilities. The pretty Barbies will try and get on winning teams and align themselves with strong partners in order to win. I think these women are used to getting their way and they have developed an expectation that good things fall their way in life - money, handsome men, status, etc., so USTA is no different - they expect to be winners regardless of their abilities, and will use their social skills and looks and status to maneuver their way onto better teams and playing with stronger partners. Men, and yes, other women, typically give in to these pretty Barbies and let them have their way. USTA is such a microcosm of life.

TUSooner
8/3/2011, 08:37 AM
When I played Midget league baseball, we won the city championship one year. The next year, with over half the team having turned whatever age moved them up, our ragtag outfit went 1-11 for the season. The 1-11 season was sooooo much more fun. The stress of being on a very highly rated team was palpable even to a 10 year old.

Remonds me of what one of my daughter's clever friends said one day on the way home from a softball tourny:
Glove = $80
Bat = $150
Getting eliminated and going home early = priceless


I guess you had to be there. :O

OhU1
8/3/2011, 08:50 AM
USTA is no different - will use their social skills and looks and status to maneuver their way - Men, and yes, other women, typically give in to these pretty Barbies and let them have their way. USTA is such a microcosm of life.

I would allow Maria Sharapova and Sabine Lisiki whatever they wanted. They could even be on my team. Yes, I would give in to them. :D

lexsooner
8/3/2011, 09:07 AM
I would allow Maria Sharapova and Sabine Lisiki whatever they wanted. They could even be on my team. Yes, I would give in to them. :D

Lol, I am sure you would. But imagine a physically untalented, spoiled, shallow, manipulative, small-time, annoying, devoid of any substance, version of these top athletes in your recreational tennis league. In my younger days, yeah, the Barbie's physical attractiveness would have had a big impact, but being wiser to the world these days, I mostly find the Barbie to be annoying since I can quickly figure out what she is about (typically little to no substance).

royalfan5
8/3/2011, 09:18 AM
Lol, I am sure you would. But imagine a physically untalented, spoiled, shallow, manipulative, small-time, annoying, devoid of any substance, version of these top athletes in your recreational tennis league. In my younger days, yeah, the Barbie's physical attractiveness would have had a big impact, but being wiser to the world these days, I mostly find the Barbie to be annoying since I can quickly figure out what she is about (typically little to no substance).

Thank God I'm still at a point in my life where I get some enjoyment out of the tennis dresses.

lexsooner
8/3/2011, 09:28 AM
Thank God I'm still at a point in my life where I get some enjoyment out of the tennis dresses.

Well, just to clarify, I still enjoy eye candy and yes most Barbies are fun to look at. However, interacting with them is another story. I just try not to suffer fools these days, and most of the Barbies are exactly that.

royalfan5
8/3/2011, 09:41 AM
Well, just to clarify, I still enjoy eye candy and yes most Barbies are fun to look at. However, interacting with them is another story. I just try not to suffer fools these days, and most of the Barbies are exactly that.

That's why I mostly try to play with men or women over 50.

Tulsa_Fireman
8/3/2011, 09:42 AM
That's why I mostly try to play with men or women over 50.

Me too.

That's hot.

OhU1
8/3/2011, 09:44 AM
That's why I mostly try to play with men or women over 50.

I would too, but mainly because people over 50 can't run as fast.

lexsooner
8/3/2011, 09:58 AM
I would too, but mainly because people over 50 can't run as fast.

What I find is the seniors are about the best doubles players out there and in doubles speed and agility are much less of an issue than in singles. The older players often have life times of playing experience and they are quite clever in their placement and shot selections. They are also more steady and less tempermental than younger players.

However, I dig what you are saying. USTA apparently recognizes the age differences. The adult leagues have experienced an influx of young 20 something players who have played junior and high school tennis and are so much faster and fitter than the older adults who often took up the sport later in life. The word is USTA is re-organizing the adult leagues to break these two categories of players into different leagues. Much of problem lies with the overly serious tennis captains who recruit young players who played competitive tennis. Some nutso captains even go to the U. of Kentucky tennis courts to scout for USTA talent for their teams. Seriously. No, they don't have a life.

lexsooner
8/3/2011, 09:59 AM
Me too.

That's hot.

Or you drool over those old birds at the country club like Carl Spackler in Caddy Shack.

soonercruiser
8/3/2011, 10:07 AM
This goes for varsity school sports, intramurals, recreational sports leagues, anything? My USTA men's tennis team loses more than it wins, but I started with these guys years ago and am friends with them and do not want to be on any other team. I have a mixed record, and I could have more wins if I played on better teams (better doubles partners) but I am happy with my current team. I know some players who could not tolerate being on anything but a winning team, even in USTA, which is just a recreational league and nothing more. Interestingly, there is little correlation between the success of players in their lives outside of tennis and their success on the tennis courts. Some players who lose a lot are winners in life, and the reverse is true.

Lex! Congrats!
You have learned one of the most important lesson in life!
Congrats to you for sticking with your friends.
Unless you are going professional, or elect to play some special events seriously, you are always better off with recreation + friends.

Since I gave up competitive golf in HS and the military, I have been having more fun just getting out and beating the ball around.
Sure, I have some competitive spirit with my "regulars". But, having a good time is more important. That's why when the whim strikes, I grab the clubs and pair up with whomever is available; just to meet folks and "recreate".

GDC
8/3/2011, 10:22 AM
Or you drool over those old birds at the country club like Carl Spackler in Caddy Shack.

Find me a sugar momma.

yankee
8/3/2011, 10:26 AM
Losing is probably one of the things I hate the most, as I'm one of the more competitive people you'll have the chance of meeting..at least when it comes to sports. Even playing pickup bball games at the Huff...I hate losing and having to sit on the side and wait 2 or 3 games to play again. I thoroughly enjoy playing with a certain group of friends I have that are pretty good at basketball, as I enjoy staying on the court for a 2-3 game stretch (before my out-of-shapeness kicks in).

lexsooner
8/3/2011, 10:30 AM
Lex! Congrats!
You have learned one of the most important lesson in life!
Congrats to you for sticking with your friends.
Unless you are going professional, or elect to play some special events seriously, you are always better off with recreation + friends.

Since I gave up competitive golf in HS and the military, I have been having more fun just getting out and beating the ball around.
Sure, I have some competitive spirit with my "regulars". But, having a good time is more important. That's why when the whim strikes, I grab the clubs and pair up with whomever is available; just to meet folks and "recreate".

You definitely have it right, Cruiser. I have seen so many friendships (or maybe they were never really friendships) end because of USTA tennis. I have also seen fellow players who are good mistake the intentions of others who want them on their teams. They sometimes think other players or captains are their friends when the only thing the others want is their tennis talent, and that lesson becomes painfully learned when the player gets bumped up or injured and is no longer of use to their captain. The big lesson learned is friendships and relationships and especially your own character and integrity trump tennis wins by far. If you have that figured out, you are a big winner in the end, regardless of whether you have Ws on the court.