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View Full Version : Pre-NASCAR prayer by Pastor Joe Nelms



The Maestro
7/25/2011, 04:54 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J74y88YuSJ8

Surely you have seen it by now, but didn't see it posted. Funny for me...should be embarrassing for him...I mean, what the hell??? I am completely laughing at him...

Boogity...

Blue
7/25/2011, 05:00 PM
Hmmm. Was he glorifying God or himself?

Pastor Ham.

Kinda funny though.

The Maestro
7/25/2011, 05:00 PM
J74y88YuSJ8

A red letter day for me...I figured out how to do something really easy that I never took the time to read about how to do. So there is that.

soonercruiser
7/25/2011, 09:38 PM
Boogety....boogety.....boogety...!
Isn't that triple snot??
:D

Laughed 'till I died!
Die, that means funeral....
Funeral, that means flowers....
Flowers, that means money...
Money, that means work!
Who me work??
Thought I'd laught 'till I died!

SunnySooner
7/25/2011, 10:09 PM
Would you like a little corn with your corn?

SunnySooner
7/25/2011, 10:18 PM
That guy needs to go back to seminary...I think he was absent the day they taught...religion. Or at least, The Lord's Prayer. (facepalm).

oumartin
7/25/2011, 10:26 PM
I'm only upset we didn't see this smokin' hot wife Lisa.

AlboSooner
7/25/2011, 10:35 PM
He embarrassed the exclusive, prestigious, and rarely out of decorum, profession of pastoring.

The Maestro
7/25/2011, 10:55 PM
I'm only upset we didn't see this smokin' hot wife Lisa.

Ehhhhhh....

Trying to post picture...but here is the link...to smoking hot...

http://familybaptistchurchlebanon.com/default_files/Page581.htm

or not...

Blue
7/25/2011, 11:05 PM
I think he was trying to be cute with the whole Ricky Bobby impression.

When redneck jokes go bad.

OhU1
7/25/2011, 11:07 PM
Ehhhhhh....

Trying to post picture...but here is the link...to smoking hot...

http://familybaptistchurchlebanon.com/default_files/Page581.htm

or not...

Yikes, if that was a mail order bride you'd have to mark it "Return to sender - too ugly".

Fraggle145
7/25/2011, 11:31 PM
I didnt see anything wrong with it. Looked like a pretty good prayer to me.

Lott's Bandana
7/26/2011, 12:52 AM
That was awesome.

delhalew
7/26/2011, 05:04 AM
That was awesome.

Thank God I'm not the only one.

What's wrong with making loving Jesus fun.

oumartin
7/26/2011, 02:59 PM
that smokin' hot wife is not smokin' hot.. typical baptist. nothing but lies.

Wishboned
7/26/2011, 04:44 PM
Product placement in prayer. Nice.

C&CDean
7/26/2011, 06:14 PM
Momma and I just watched it and we both are cracking up. Good stuff!

soonercruiser
7/26/2011, 09:44 PM
that smokin' hot wife is not smokin' hot.. typical baptist. nothing but lies.

NO BEER???
:eek:

soonerboomer93
7/26/2011, 10:40 PM
Buddy Jesus gives him 2 thumbs up

StoopTroup
7/26/2011, 11:37 PM
I will never see another NASCAR Race ever unless he gives the prayer.

MR2-Sooner86
7/26/2011, 11:56 PM
Sponsored prayer huh?

"Lord Jesus, we thank you for Papa John's new large, two-topping pizza for $5.99. With prices that low, you wouldn't have had to divide the loaves and fishes to feed all those people."

StoopTroup
7/27/2011, 12:30 AM
Dear Lord I'd like to Thank you for Viagra, Budweiser, Miller Lite, Vagasil, Crown Royal, Jeremiah Weed and ExtenZe.....

lexsooner
7/27/2011, 07:29 AM
Dear Lord I'd like to Thank you for Viagra, Budweiser, Miller Lite, Vagasil, Crown Royal, Jeremiah Weed and ExtenZe.....

and Goodie's Headache Powder, Jack, M$Ms, Walmart, Ale81, Moon Pies, RC Cola, Chevys, W, Sarah, Robert E. Lee, jorts, tank tops, SEC footbow, RVs, Dale and Jr., Rascal Flats, . . . . .

Mississippi Sooner
7/27/2011, 09:12 AM
Ya think Jesus ever sported a mullet?

lexsooner
7/27/2011, 09:55 AM
Ya think Jesus ever sported a mullet?

Is that possible with kinky Middle Eastern hair? The bigger question is whether attending a NASCAR event and associating with rednecks would make Jesus weep.

Breadburner
7/27/2011, 09:57 AM
Good stuff.....

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 10:32 AM
Is that possible with kinky Middle Eastern hair? The bigger question is whether attending a NASCAR event and associating with rednecks would make Jesus weep.

As opposed to prancing in a gayday parade?

lexsooner
7/27/2011, 10:35 AM
As opposed to prancing in a gayday parade?

Actually, Jesus especially loves the downtrodden and outcasts, so he would be comfortable at either.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 10:36 AM
Good answer.

delhalew
7/27/2011, 10:51 AM
Is that possible with kinky Middle Eastern hair? The bigger question is whether attending a NASCAR event and associating with rednecks would make Jesus weep.

Do you remember the permed mullet? Kenney Powers style.

Bourbon St Sooner
7/27/2011, 12:50 PM
I like how he got all the sponsors in there. That's good for business.

virginiasooner
7/27/2011, 01:36 PM
Vulgar, ignorant, tacky, embarrassing are just a few of the adjectives that describe this pastor.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 01:39 PM
Vulgar, ignorant, tacky, embarrassing are just a few of the adjectives that describe this pastor.

Seriously, why don't you stick to your lesbian marches on the Capitol and crap?

virginiasooner
7/27/2011, 01:43 PM
Seriously, why don't you stick to your lesbian marches on the Capitol and crap?

Is there a lesbian march on the Capitol this weekend? I'll let my husband know so we can both go.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 01:45 PM
Is there a lesbian march on the Capitol this weekend? I'll let my husband know so we can both go.

Your husband is a lesbian too?

virginiasooner
7/27/2011, 01:51 PM
Your husband is a lesbian too?

He's more of a man than you are.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 01:54 PM
He's more of a man than you are.

I have no doubt. Why don't y'all put me down on your prayer list at whatever church you attend so they can all pray for my manhood. Oh wait...

virginiasooner
7/27/2011, 02:01 PM
I have no doubt. Why don't y'all put me down on your prayer list at whatever church you attend so they can all pray for my manhood. Oh wait...

When you assume something, you may be pointing one finger at me, but you're pointing three fingers back at yourself.

Or . . .

Better for people to think you're an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 02:04 PM
When you assume something, you may be pointing one finger at me, but you're pointing three fingers back at yourself.

Or . . .

Better for people to think you're an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Wow. Did you just come up with those allsomely tiresome cliches all by yourself? clap. clap.

How about this? Why don't you STFU about Preacher Joe (someone whom you know nothing about but are ready to blast for some weird reason) and stick to things you know something about - like high-brow, uber-liberal causes. Joe is a country hick. You are a DC urbanite.

virginiasooner
7/27/2011, 02:16 PM
Wow. Did you just come up with those allsomely tiresome cliches all by yourself? clap. clap.

How about this? Why don't you STFU about Preacher Joe (someone whom you know nothing about but are ready to blast for some weird reason) and stick to things you know something about - like high-brow, uber-liberal causes. Joe is a country hick. You are a DC urbanite.

Excuse me, but I didn't start this thread topic. And once again, don't assume anything about me, because YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I enjoy good lowbrow humor. This pastor embarrassed himself and made his church a laughingstock. So excuse me for cringing in shame when pastors do stuff like this in public.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 02:26 PM
Excuse me, but I didn't start this thread topic. And once again, don't assume anything about me, because YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I enjoy good lowbrow humor. This pastor embarrassed himself and made his church a laughingstock. So excuse me for cringing in shame when pastors do stuff like this in public.

You cringed. I laughed. However, there was nothing "lowbrow" about what he did.

It was creative, funny, clever, and dare I even say "inspired?" If you actually knew anything about NASCAR you would respect the way he included everybody/everything. It was damned witty.

I'd be willing to bet that his church attendance has gone up dramatically since this deal. If that is making his "church a laughingstock" then so be it.

Finally, it sure is nice to be back in Oklahoma. All those months/years in DC damn near killed me. You people out there are a loopy bunch.

jk the sooner fan
7/27/2011, 02:44 PM
Excuse me, but I didn't start this thread topic. And once again, don't assume anything about me, because YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I enjoy good lowbrow humor. This pastor embarrassed himself and made his church a laughingstock. So excuse me for cringing in shame when pastors do stuff like this in public.

how do you know how his church members feel? did you poll them or something?

The
7/27/2011, 02:44 PM
how do you know how his church members feel? did you poll them or something?

I felt them. They felt.... lumpy.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 02:46 PM
I felt them. They felt.... lumpy.

That was just his "smokin' hot wife Lisa."

jk the sooner fan
7/27/2011, 02:47 PM
maybe the pastor believes that his wife is smoking hot and doesnt care what the rest of you think?

The
7/27/2011, 02:48 PM
maybe the pastor believes that his wife is smoking hot and doesnt care what the rest of you think?

I havenay watched the video, nor read the thread, so have any pics of the supposed "Smokin Hot Wife" surfaced yet?

jk the sooner fan
7/27/2011, 02:49 PM
by the way - you can point at somebody with out three fingers pointing back at yourself- Bush has it mastered

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dCFsuudVu4s/S2pzOlvRhOI/AAAAAAAAAmM/k0kgc2g3WKQ/s320/bush_pointing_finger.jpg

jk the sooner fan
7/27/2011, 02:49 PM
I havenay watched the video, nor read the thread, so have any pics of the supposed "Smokin Hot Wife" surfaced yet?

well - frankly she's not what many would consider hot - but if he thinks she is - then God Bless them both

The
7/27/2011, 02:50 PM
well - frankly she's not what many would consider hot - but if he thinks she is - then God Bless them both

Pics so i can be the judge and settle this **** once and for all.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 02:52 PM
They're in the thread teh. Geez.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 02:53 PM
maybe the pastor believes that his wife is smoking hot and doesnt care what the rest of you think?

Or maybe he's blind as a bat?

The
7/27/2011, 02:54 PM
They're in the thread teh. Geez.
I don't typically read NASCAR threads.

Or maybe he's blind as a bat?
Or heavily stocked with flour.

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 02:55 PM
I don't typically read NASCAR threads.

Or heavily stocked with flour.

Well then enlighten yourself and watch the video.

jk the sooner fan
7/27/2011, 02:57 PM
Or maybe he's blind as a bat?

true love is blind

but yeah.....he is that too

The
7/27/2011, 02:57 PM
Well then enlighten yourself and watch the video.

Actually, I'm distracted by BBW flour pron right now.

jk the sooner fan
7/27/2011, 02:59 PM
I'm fairly certain God has a sense of humor and appreciation for passion - not every prayer has to be a boring and subtle rendition of Amazing Grace

The
7/27/2011, 03:01 PM
I'm fairly certain God has a sense of humor and appreciation for passion - not every prayer has to be a boring and subtle rendition of Amazing Grace


WRONG!

God turned a bitch into a pillar of salt for TURNING THE **** AROUND.

You think that guy's got a sense of humor about this ****?

87sooner
7/27/2011, 03:03 PM
Excuse me, but I didn't start this thread topic. And once again, don't assume anything about me, because YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I enjoy good lowbrow humor. This pastor embarrassed himself and made his church a laughingstock. So excuse me for cringing in shame when pastors do stuff like this in public.

i know your type...

the prayer was funny...
the shame is only on you...

The
7/27/2011, 03:04 PM
i know your type...

the prayer was funny...
the shame is only on you...

[whiteknightarmoron]No you don't, no it wasn't, and no it isn't.[/whiteknightarmonroff]

The Maestro
7/27/2011, 03:05 PM
God and his sense of humor. Now there's a topic. The Bible is full of whoopie cushions, pulled fingers and complete genocide...oh wait, not all of those are funny.

OhU1
7/27/2011, 09:57 PM
God and his sense of humor. Now there's a topic. The Bible is full of whoopie cushions, pulled fingers and complete genocide...oh wait, not all of those are funny.

Did you hear the one about the poor guy who was caught gathering sticks in the wilderness on the Sabbath? Sit down for the punch line, it's a snorter! God told Moses to kill the man. Moses and his homies then killed the stick gatherer by throwing rocks and stones at his head until he died. Wahahahahah! Just like the 3 stooges! Numbers 15:32.

There's so much more from this cosmic comedian but I've already blown Pepsi out my nose recalling the last joke!

http://chrisonchristianity.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/god-monty-python-380132_800_441.jpg

C&CDean
7/27/2011, 10:00 PM
Haytas gonna hayte.

Lott's Bandana
7/28/2011, 12:44 PM
Come on Virginia, it was an automobile race, not a ceremony in Arlington


National



Cemetery

Chuck Bao
7/28/2011, 01:40 PM
I like the spirit here. I also think that God can take a joke or moves in mysterious ways. If you think about that too much, your mind could get bent and I don't want to ever go there.

With that being said, I normally show a little bit a reverence when I pray just to be on the safe side. I normally go put on underwear before I start the "Dear Lord, it's me again" prayer.

The Maestro
7/28/2011, 01:48 PM
Well, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins and the smokin' hot wife obviously suffers from it so the good reverend is ignoring a sin issue in his wife's life who isn't taking her role as "the body is the temple" too seriously.

jk the sooner fan
7/28/2011, 01:49 PM
Christians are far from perfect and usually the first to admit the same

to point out their defects and link it with their faith is more reflective of you than it is them

just my opinion

SunnySooner
7/28/2011, 01:54 PM
I get that he was making a joke, I just think that Christianity gets lambasted on such a regular basis, I hate to see this kind of ammo being gift wrapped for the haters, ya know? It's one thing to pray like that at church, among believers, where everyone is in on it, it's another to do it at a public gathering on national television. JMHO.

C&CDean
7/28/2011, 02:06 PM
I get that he was making a joke, I just think that Christianity gets lambasted on such a regular basis, I hate to see this kind of ammo being gift wrapped for the haters, ya know? It's one thing to pray like that at church, among believers, where everyone is in on it, it's another to do it at a public gathering on national television. JMHO.

You know if he said that prayer at his church they'd run him outta town on a rail. I love it personally. Haytas gonna hate. It bothers me zero amount since the ones hating don't even believe in God/Jesus/Bible etc. **** em'. In the A.

sooner_born_1960
7/28/2011, 02:11 PM
I thank God we have a place like this to air our opinions. And for the good people at Anheuser Busch.

The Maestro
7/28/2011, 02:28 PM
It bothers me zero amount since the ones hating don't even believe in God/Jesus/Bible etc. **** em'. In the A.

It's not that big of a deal to me since I don't believe...but you do...and you DO realize Jesus is not a huge fan of the example you are with stuff like ^^^^...right? Just sayin'.

Wishboned
7/28/2011, 02:29 PM
God and his sense of humor. Now there's a topic. The Bible is full of whoopie cushions, pulled fingers and complete genocide...oh wait, not all of those are funny.

Yeah, whoopie cushions are kinda played out.

C&CDean
7/28/2011, 02:29 PM
It's not that big of a deal to me since I don't believe...but you do...and you DO realize Jesus is not a huge fan of the example you are with stuff like ^^^^...right? Just sayin'.

You don't believe in Jesus so WTF are you talking about? Not believing AND being judgmental is bad form.

OhU1
7/28/2011, 02:33 PM
You don't believe in Jesus so WTF are you talking about? Not believing AND being judgmental is bad form.

I believe in Jesus. He and his crew did an awesome job re-roofing my parent's house in Norman after the hail storm.

C&CDean
7/28/2011, 02:40 PM
I believe in Jesus. He and his crew did an awesome job re-roofing my parent's house in Norman after the hail storm.

And he'd have no problem at all saying "**** em, in the A" right?

The Maestro
7/28/2011, 02:48 PM
You don't believe in Jesus so WTF are you talking about? Not believing AND being judgmental is bad form.

Dodging the question and turning it back on me...

As a believer you believe my lack of belief is wrong. I am the one who has it all wrong.

You believe and follow Jesus. Good on ya. So you are supposed to follow his teachings and be as Christ-like as possible.

Yet you think folks like me should get a one-eye in the stinky star cause we don't. Now my 35-plus years in the Church hasn't all been evaporated from my head--and I am perty sure Jesus never taught to profess anal rape on non-believers.

Doesn't matter...just proves what a lot of us who "used" to believe, believe. A lot of so-called christians don't follow diddly of what they are supposed to...just trying to make sure that scary hell doesn't burn you all to smithereens.

Now, football hurry up...I'm sick of the bickerin'!

C&CDean
7/28/2011, 02:57 PM
Dodging the question and turning it back on me...

As a believer you believe my lack of belief is wrong. I am the one who has it all wrong.

You believe and follow Jesus. Good on ya. So you are supposed to follow his teachings and be as Christ-like as possible.

Yet you think folks like me should get a one-eye in the stinky star cause we don't. Now my 35-plus years in the Church hasn't all been evaporated from my head--and I am perty sure Jesus never taught to profess anal rape on non-believers.

Doesn't matter...just proves what a lot of us who "used" to believe, believe. A lot of so-called christians don't follow diddly of what they are supposed to...just trying to make sure that scary hell doesn't burn you all to smithereens.

Now, football hurry up...I'm sick of the bickerin'!

You're pretty dang passionate about it for a non-believer.

I don't think folks like you should get anything in the stinky star. I think the prayer was clever, witty, and funny. I guess you don't, you know, for religious reasons and ****?

The Maestro
7/28/2011, 03:03 PM
You're pretty dang passionate about it for a non-believer.

I don't think folks like you should get anything in the stinky star. I think the prayer was clever, witty, and funny. I guess you don't, you know, for religious reasons and ****?

Hell, I like you Dean...no biggie. I think it was funny, too...almost as funny as the need to pray before a NASCAR race. Whatever makes folks feel better, I guess.

C&CDean
7/28/2011, 03:10 PM
Hell, I like you Dean...no biggie. I think it was funny, too...almost as funny as the need to pray before a NASCAR race. Whatever makes folks feel better, I guess.

I like you too Arizstonian Man. Let the NACAR folks say their prayers, and let the heathens praise Satan. IDGAS.

I do miss the prayer before OU games though. It was traditional. They still do it at high school games which is cool.

The Maestro
7/28/2011, 03:19 PM
I like you too Arizstonian Man. Let the NACAR folks say their prayers, and let the heathens praise Satan. IDGAS.

I do miss the prayer before OU games though. It was traditional. They still do it at high school games which is cool.

Best prayer before an OU game story I ever heard was Switzer asking Jay Jimerson to pray before a big OU-Nebraska game in the locker room. Jimerson ended by saying, "And Lord, help the best team not to win today."

Apparently Nebraska was ranked higher...and lost!

C&CDean
7/28/2011, 03:21 PM
Best prayer before an OU game story I ever heard was Switzer asking Jay Jimerson to pray before a big OU-Nebraska game in the locker room. Jimerson ended by saying, "And Lord, help the best team not to win today."

Apparently Nebraska was ranked higher...and lost!

See, there is a God.:P

En_Fuego
7/28/2011, 03:40 PM
http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg305/hot2na/jimmy-swaggart-caught.jpg

http://i590.photobucket.com/albums/ss343/hareunion/HeritageUSA/Bakkers.jpg