3rdgensooner
7/19/2011, 03:31 PM
The 40 Worst-Dressed Cities in America (http://www.gq.com/style/fashion/201107/worst-dressed-cities-america#slide=40)
Look around you. Better yet, look in the mirror. Are you the victim? After a deeply scientific, irrefutable poll, we gathered, analyzed, and ranked the most sartorially-challenged metropolises in the greater United States. It may be time to plan that move you've been thinking about
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/boulder.jpg
40. Boulder, CO
Strolling through this charming university town, you are most likely to find three major categories of clothing: 1) anything made by North Face 2) anything made by Patagonia 3) fanny packs. The observant eye will also spot unmistakable seasonal trends, such as Adidas for Fall, Crocs for Spring, and Uggs for Summer (we have no explanation for this). These are often accompanied by Boulder's year-round go-to accessory, the wheatgrass shot (sometimes paired with an unidentifiable vegan "cookie"). Yet of Boulder's 100,000 people, about 30,000 are students, some 99.9% are blonde, and all of them in better shape than you. This town is always obnoxiously flaunting its "fittest-place-in-the-country" awards, and you will be hard-pressed to find one person here, including your 85-year-old grandmother, without a six-pack. It is, in fact, a worst-dressed city that looks best naked. So Boulderites, do your fellow citizens a favor: next time you reach for the biking-shorts-and-sneakers as eveningwear combo, just take it all off.
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/nashville.jpg
39. Nashville
Even in 2011, Nashville makes it clear who won the battle between the cowboys and the Indians. Here, boots replace dress shoes—and, in some extreme cases, sneakers. Dress shirts aren't monogrammed, but embroidered with a design that usually begins with a stitch and ends in flames, and by "tie" they mean the leather shoestring thing your nephew wears in Boy Scouts. Hank Williams will never die because of Nashville. Never.
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/bristol.jpg
38. Bristol, CT
Bristol has long been the home to ESPN, the Worldwide Leader in off-the-rack monstrosities and former athletes turned broadcast professionals who dress up like comic book super villains. The town's most prominent citizens are also the worst fashion offenders: Chris Berman perpetually looks like he's en route to a high school graduation (and he's wearing the hideous necktie his kid gave him for Father's Day last year); Bill Pidto totally got a deal at Men's Warehouse; Bob Ley, despite all of his boundless talent, looks like he sells women's shoes; Hannah Storm, on the live edition of SportsCenter every morning, looks like she put on her dress from last night's cocktail party and walk-of-shamed it to work; and Keyshawn Johnson, in his dayglo suits and quadruple Windsor knots, has never heard the phrase, "Less is more." It's understandable—sports are all about winning, about putting up the biggest score, and about making the loudest statement.
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/kansas-city.jpg
37. Kansas City, MO
How does a city that fathered its own style of jazz back in the 1930s dress with such little manly swagger? Yeah, you're a laidback town, part of that real America, and sure, eating sauce-covered burnt ends and pork ribs can be messy. But let's grow up. Throw out the old grimy-white Jayhawks ball cap—or the beat-up black Mizzou one—and buy some clothes that aren't so big that they make you look like a little boy waiting to grow into them. It's summer, so golf shirts and polos are great, but let's keep the sleeves above the elbows, the tail at the waist. It shouldn't hit your knees. And the khakis? Please, no puffy pleats, no sewn cuffs. Hey, we get it: Going out for a pitcher and beef-on-bun doesn't require a jazzy suit, but no matter how you swing it, oversized and billowy ain't cool.
The rest (http://www.gq.com/style/fashion/201107/worst-dressed-cities-america#slide=40)
Look around you. Better yet, look in the mirror. Are you the victim? After a deeply scientific, irrefutable poll, we gathered, analyzed, and ranked the most sartorially-challenged metropolises in the greater United States. It may be time to plan that move you've been thinking about
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/boulder.jpg
40. Boulder, CO
Strolling through this charming university town, you are most likely to find three major categories of clothing: 1) anything made by North Face 2) anything made by Patagonia 3) fanny packs. The observant eye will also spot unmistakable seasonal trends, such as Adidas for Fall, Crocs for Spring, and Uggs for Summer (we have no explanation for this). These are often accompanied by Boulder's year-round go-to accessory, the wheatgrass shot (sometimes paired with an unidentifiable vegan "cookie"). Yet of Boulder's 100,000 people, about 30,000 are students, some 99.9% are blonde, and all of them in better shape than you. This town is always obnoxiously flaunting its "fittest-place-in-the-country" awards, and you will be hard-pressed to find one person here, including your 85-year-old grandmother, without a six-pack. It is, in fact, a worst-dressed city that looks best naked. So Boulderites, do your fellow citizens a favor: next time you reach for the biking-shorts-and-sneakers as eveningwear combo, just take it all off.
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/nashville.jpg
39. Nashville
Even in 2011, Nashville makes it clear who won the battle between the cowboys and the Indians. Here, boots replace dress shoes—and, in some extreme cases, sneakers. Dress shirts aren't monogrammed, but embroidered with a design that usually begins with a stitch and ends in flames, and by "tie" they mean the leather shoestring thing your nephew wears in Boy Scouts. Hank Williams will never die because of Nashville. Never.
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/bristol.jpg
38. Bristol, CT
Bristol has long been the home to ESPN, the Worldwide Leader in off-the-rack monstrosities and former athletes turned broadcast professionals who dress up like comic book super villains. The town's most prominent citizens are also the worst fashion offenders: Chris Berman perpetually looks like he's en route to a high school graduation (and he's wearing the hideous necktie his kid gave him for Father's Day last year); Bill Pidto totally got a deal at Men's Warehouse; Bob Ley, despite all of his boundless talent, looks like he sells women's shoes; Hannah Storm, on the live edition of SportsCenter every morning, looks like she put on her dress from last night's cocktail party and walk-of-shamed it to work; and Keyshawn Johnson, in his dayglo suits and quadruple Windsor knots, has never heard the phrase, "Less is more." It's understandable—sports are all about winning, about putting up the biggest score, and about making the loudest statement.
http://www.gq.com/images/entertainment/2011/07/worst-dressed-cities/kansas-city.jpg
37. Kansas City, MO
How does a city that fathered its own style of jazz back in the 1930s dress with such little manly swagger? Yeah, you're a laidback town, part of that real America, and sure, eating sauce-covered burnt ends and pork ribs can be messy. But let's grow up. Throw out the old grimy-white Jayhawks ball cap—or the beat-up black Mizzou one—and buy some clothes that aren't so big that they make you look like a little boy waiting to grow into them. It's summer, so golf shirts and polos are great, but let's keep the sleeves above the elbows, the tail at the waist. It shouldn't hit your knees. And the khakis? Please, no puffy pleats, no sewn cuffs. Hey, we get it: Going out for a pitcher and beef-on-bun doesn't require a jazzy suit, but no matter how you swing it, oversized and billowy ain't cool.
The rest (http://www.gq.com/style/fashion/201107/worst-dressed-cities-america#slide=40)