Why are you so fat?

[The]

http://i.imgur.com/sS3jj.jpg

[mgsooner]

Would have also worked if "Genetic's" was the name of a Mexican restaurant.

[tommieharris91]

Or a maker of pork products.

[Penguin]

I wasn't hugged enough when I was a child. So, I find comfort in food. And chopping up hookers.

[3rdgensooner]

I wasn't hugged enough when I was a child. So, I find comfort in food. And chopping up hookers.Do you put the parts in the freezer?

[tommieharris91]

Do you put the parts in the freezer?

And eat them later?

[SoCaliSooner]

Do you put the parts in the freezer?

I've never understood why more people don't dig a hole, drop in some body parts and then plant a tree in the same hole. It would explain why you bought that shovel, the tarp you could say you used to keep from getting the dirt in your lawn. After a few years when the cops look at your property again, none of them dig up trees.....

[Thaumaturge]

I've never understood why more people don't dig a hole, drop in some body parts and then plant a tree in the same hole. It would explain why you bought that shovel, the tarp you could say you used to keep from getting the dirt in your lawn. After a few years when the cops look at your property again, none of them dig up trees.....

What about the corpse-sniffing dogs? Would they be thwarted?

[KABOOKIE]

Should fat people be issued handicap parking passes?

[mgsooner]

They already are.

[SoCaliSooner]

What about the corpse-sniffing dogs? Would they be thwarted?

Bury some road kill or trapped/killed gophers or ground squirrels close to the surface. Cops dig down a foot and find animal bones and they move on.

[The]

What about the corpse-sniffing dogs? Would they be thwarted?

Wrap the body parts in trashbags filled with lime. Place said bags into a larger bag filled with sulfur.

[3rdgensooner]

Wrap the body parts in trashbags filled with lime. Place said bags into a larger bag filled with sulfur.Leave in swamp for, say, 31 days?

[DIB]

Surround the base of the tree with carrion flowers

[Partial Qualifier]

and a sign next to the tree: "NO DEAD PEOPLE HERE, MOVE ALONG"

[soonerboomer93]

Or a maker of pork products.

Or a beer (ooh, registering trendy micro-brew name now)


What about the corpse-sniffing dogs? Would they be thwarted?

Coffee

[mgsooner]

Make sure you google "how to dispose of a body without getting caught" first.

[Thaumaturge]

But won't the tree take on the shape of the person's soul? Or is that an old wives' tale?

Try explaining that to the cops!

[DIB]

But won't the tree take on the shape of the person's soul? Or is that an old wives' tale?

Try explaining that to the cops!

Patches would know the answer, if only he posted here.

[Turd_Ferguson]

Buy two pigs. Problem solved.

[Lawton4Life]

Buy two pigs. Problem solved.

How quickly would two pigs dispose of a body?

No reason.

[Thaumaturge]

And should you bury the pigs with the tree after they eat the body?

[Turd_Ferguson]

How quickly would two pigs dispose of a body?

No reason.Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[mgsooner]

Do you know what "nemesis" means?

[Penguin]

Do you put the parts in the freezer?


Just the lady parts, of course.

[GKeeper316]

pull your tongue out of my arsehole, gary.

[Turd_Ferguson]

pull your tongue out of my arsehole, gary.
Turkish, put a lid on her.

[StoopTroup]

Why us Buddha fat?

[Breadburner]

Why us Buddha fat?

Jesus told him not to do anything till he got back...No..wait...That was the Indians he said that to...

[soonerchk]

But won't the tree take on the shape of the person's soul? Or is that an old wives' tale?

Try explaining that to the cops!

That's all explained in the 6th Harry Potter book.

[Chuck Bao]

Why us Buddha fat?

That's an interesting question, StoopTroup. I assume that you are referring to the North Asian Buddha (including China, Japan, Korea).

The Southeast Asian and South Asian Buddha (Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Burma, Sri Lanka, India, etc.), as portrayed in paintings and sculptures throughout history, tend to be more svelte. Actually in some eras, the Southeast Asian Buddha take on a slightly androgynous shape.

Yes, I am using Buddha as a plural proper noun. I suppose it is akin to calling A&M students and alumni "the Aggy".

So without looking up the fat Buddha of North Asia on the internet, these are my theories. I have never lived in North Asia, so it is just my own conjecture.

1) Everyone has a little Buddha inside them. If you have a whole lot of Buddha, it just stands to reason that you'd be fat.

2) North Asians' ideal of contentment was to first have a full belly, which may have been due to their harsher weather, long history of strife and periods of starvation. In a sense, the fat Buddha could likened to a branch of modern Christianity that believes that God wants you to prosper.

3) Everyone, across the world and various cultures, knows that rubbing on a fat man's belly brings good luck.

4) The fat Buddha is the North Asians' version of Santa Claus. Now if Santa Claus would be thin and not so jolly, would he be as fun? Or, would he be just a little creepy.

I hope I haven't offended anyone because I am just joking around. I think the best thing about the pure Buddhist faith is the ability to laugh at themselves and take a joke.

With that being said, visitors to Thailand would be well advised to not show any disrespect in front of Buddha images. The law doesn't permit it and the Sanga Council is still very powerful.