Back in the good ole days when women knew their place

[3rdgensooner]

The following is a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894:


INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE (http://depts.washington.edu/psy210/1894.html)


To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex it at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it. It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.

Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.

By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home. Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to

[waynepayne]

where do you come up with this stuff?

[okie52]

Duty calls.

[Mississippi Sooner]

http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee311/ncg73/Old%20Ads%20So%20Wrong/weird-creepy-ads-vitamins.jpg

[jk the sooner fan]

As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

1894? the hell you say.....

[3rdgensooner]

where do you come up with this stuff?
I must emphatically assure you that I did not write it.

[Condescending Sooner]

So what has changed since then?

[soonerchk]

I don't think they were doing it right back then.

[olevetonahill]

Course this was written by a woman.:rolleyes:

[NormanPride]

I bet the addendum was to tolerate the groom's mistress as an outlet rather than an affront to their marriage.

[3rdgensooner]

I bet the addendum was to tolerate the groom's mistress as an outlet rather than an affront to their marriage.No doubt. And she might have even ENJOYED the sex. And maybe even the "mouthing".

[MsProudSooner]

FWIW, it was written by a preacher's wife:

on the
Conduct and Procedure of the
Intimate and Personal Relationships
of the Marriage State
for the
Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
by
Ruth Smythers
beloved wife of
The Reverend L.D. Smythers
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year
of our Lord 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press
New York City

[jk the sooner fan]

oh the agony - laying there trying to decide if she should allow herself to acknowledge how it really felt or to follow the book

[Jammin']

FWIW, it was written by a preacher's wife:

on the
Conduct and Procedure of the
Intimate and Personal Relationships
of the Marriage State
for the
Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
by
Ruth Smythers
beloved wife of
The Reverend L.D. Smythers
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year
of our Lord 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press
New York City

I'm not sure anyone considers Methodist a religion any more.

[The]

oh the agony - laying there trying to decide if she should allow herself to acknowledge how it really felt or to follow the book

I wonder what they thought about A2M.

[olevetonahill]

FWIW, it was written by a preacher's wife:

on the
Conduct and Procedure of the
Intimate and Personal Relationships
of the Marriage State
for the
Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
by
Ruth Smythers
beloved wife of
The Reverend L.D. Smythers
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year
of our Lord 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press
New York City

I'll bet ole Smythers dint dint think she was so Beloved.:rolleyes:

[MsProudSooner]

You left out some of the best parts:


A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.


Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.



When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband.



If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.



If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.



Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection.



She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while he is huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.



One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire for sexual expression.

[MsProudSooner]

I'm not sure anyone considers Methodist a religion any more.

I've read that about Jerry Fallwell.

[soonerchk]

I still think this:


On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life

is the most absurd part of the whole thing.

[jk the sooner fan]

its ALL absurd

discouraging the kissing elsewhere?

[soonerchk]

I read this stuff and wonder how anyone managed to get born.

[OutlandTrophy]

I read this stuff and wonder how anyone managed to get born.

anal sex

[MsProudSooner]

I still think this:



is the most absurd part of the whole thing.

Yet there are women in 2011 who have this attitude.

[3rdgensooner]

You left out some of the best parts:Yes, but if I had posted the whole thing the responses would have been: tl;dr, cliffs notes, etc.

And I can't imagine pulling this sheeyite over and over:


. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet.

[OhU1]

Actually this was written in 1994 not 1894.

Bobby Burbridge Lane wrote it and will soon do commercial spots on the Sport Animal on behalf of the Burbridge Foundation.

[soonerchk]

Yet there are women in 2011 who have this attitude.

I'm related to several of them by marriage.

[jk the sooner fan]

i think its safe to say that the good reverend never got a bj....

[soonerchk]

i think its safe to say that the good reverend never got a bj....

The choir director put out.

[The]

i think its safe to say that the good reverend never got a bj....

WTF do you think altar boys were for?

[jk the sooner fan]

The choir director put out.

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/markfgd/markfgd1006/markfgd100600001/7169515-portrait-of-woman-with-open-mouth-as-if-shouting-singing-or-screaming-in-pain.jpg

[3rdgensooner]

i think its safe to say that the good reverend never got a bj....
http://i.imgur.com/wtpa8.jpg

[OhU1]

http://i.imgur.com/wtpa8.jpg

Now we know why they call him "Oral".

[jk the sooner fan]

sometimes they need a little coaxing.......holding them by the ears in a loving gentle way....


well, thats how i'd start the 2d chapter of that book

[1890MilesToNorman]

1894? the hell you say.....

No, I think it was 1890!

[StoopTroup]

There's nothing like a good Old Fashioned.

http://l7world.com/wp-content/themes/tma/images/latest/South%20Park%20-%20Shake%20Weight.jpg

[delhalew]

When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband.

Let none of you ever wonder why prostitution is the worlds oldest profession.

[Viking Kitten]

What do you want to bet the author was in fact a deeply repressed lesbian?

[The]

What do you want to bet the author was in fact a deeply repressed lesbian?


NUNdYoy1AUM

[hawaii 5-0]

Nothing in there about Reverse Cowgirl?


5-0


Trump/ Eric Chunn 2012

[stoopified]

At long last I have uncovered my wife's sex manual. LD
That would be a lot funnier if it wasn't true.

[Jacie]

I think my ex was following this game plan . . .

[OutlandTrophy]

I think my ex was following this game plan . . .

wait, you're not a chick?

[badger]

So this was written before birth control, I assume?

[jk the sooner fan]

back then, a birth control pill consisted of a woman placing an aspirin between her knees and holding it there

[MR2-Sooner86]

This is why I only date atheist or preacher's daughters.