Would you still masturbate if...

[The]

instead of millions of sperm coming out, only one big one came out, and you had to kill it before it killed you?

Don't worry about the physics of it, just imagine the scenario. A bulldog-sized sperm comes bursting out and it has teeth, eyes, and everything. You have to somehow kill it, or it's going to kill you.

[delhalew]

I
instead of millions of sperm coming out, only one big one came out, and you had to kill it before it killed you?

Don't worry about the physics of it, just imagine the scenario. A bulldog-sized sperm comes bursting out and it has teeth, eyes, and everything. You have to somehow kill it, or it's going to kill you.

Sure, but it would far less relaxing.

[My Opinion Matters]

Obviously you're going off the assumption that most of us haven't raped anyone to death.



False assumption.

[sappstuf]

Of course I would.

Would you risk having a wet dream and having that thing attack you while you are still groggy?

[sooner_born_1960]

You need to change the scenario if you want the womenfolk to post here.

[The]

You need to change the scenario if you want the womenfolk to post here.

No.

[SoCaliSooner]

I have always maturated with a knife in hand ...obviously for other reasons, but perhaps I have been subconsciously fighting my population paste.

[C&CDean]

Dude, you still haven't "maturated."

[SoCaliSooner]

Dude, you still haven't "maturated."

Auto erect on my iphone

[The]

Auto erect on my iphone
http://i.imgur.com/0kRtA.png

[yermom]

Of course I would.

Would you risk having a wet dream and having that thing attack you while you are still groggy?

this is a valid point

[Mongo]

bull dog sized? if so, women could finally stfu about the pain of childbirth. men would be pushing out thousands of huge sperms out in their lifetime.

[The]

bull dog sized? if so, women could finally stfu about the pain of childbirth. men would be pushing out thousands of huge sperms out in their lifetime.



Don't worry about the physics of it

http://i.imgur.com/SN7dm.jpg

[sooner_born_1960]

Millions.

[Mongo]

lotion? check

sock or tissue? check

tire iron for clubbing? check

[yermom]

shooting into a sock does sound like a pretty good idea

[JamesHale]

not only yes, but hell yes.

i have an erection at the mere thought of it...

[Soonrboy]

I'd be asleep.

[3rdgensooner]

There are no sperm emissions when I masturbate.

[The]

There are no sperm emissions when I masturbate.


You're doing it wrong.

[JohnnyMack]

Just jack off into the open door of an oven set to 450 degrees.

[stoopified]

Someone has too much time on their hands and apparently an affinity forthe crackpipe. :D

[The]

Just jack off into the open door of an oven set to 450 degrees.


Reminds me of what would happen if "The Ring" were real:
http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/you_have_01-465x1931.jpg
http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/you_have_02-465x3559.jpghttp://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/you_have_03-465x1453.jpg

[Breadburner]

I would beat it into a pet taxi.....

[KantoSooner]

Airplane toilets would become interesting places during trans-Pacific flights...

[GDC]

instead of millions of sperm coming out, only one big one came out, and you had to kill it before it killed you?

Don't worry about the physics of it, just imagine the scenario. A bulldog-sized sperm comes bursting out and it has teeth, eyes, and everything. You have to somehow kill it, or it's going to kill you.


That would be awesome.

[jkjsooner]

I'd just get a bunch of cages and do it inside the cages. I'd build up about a year's supply and leash them on the world all at once.

Do they fight each other? If so maybe I'd start a sperm fighting/gambling business.

[dynersooner]

not only yes, but hell yes.

i have an erection at the mere thought of it...

just imagining jameshale actaully replying this way has got me under my desk im laughing so hard...

on a side note, i wouldnt b/c i would be afraid the baby would cry first, and the wife would realize i was just combing my hair.

"I can honestly say i have never masturbated." ~ REFLECTOR.

[The]

I'd just get a bunch of cages and do it inside the cages. I'd build up about a year's supply and leash them on the world all at once.

Do they fight each other? If so maybe I'd start a sperm fighting/gambling business.


http://i.imgur.com/tltKC.png

[dynersooner]

http://i.imgur.com/tltKC.png

nofcking way you just whipped up that picture.

teh, you are a friggen genius! that is top notch right there.

[Breadburner]

There are no sperm emissions when I masturbate.

Chick....???

[Ctina]

Chick....???

Environmental protection filters, like on a car.

[soonerchk]

Chick....???


Environmental protection filters, like on a car.

Neutered.

[3rdgensooner]

Chick....???


Environmental protection filters, like on a car.

I drive a Prius. Duh!

[Ctina]

Exactly!

[DIB]

faketag] The gets manually stimulated by a team of nullos. [faketag

[The]

faketag] The gets manually stimulated by a team of nullos. [faketag


Mmmmm..... nullos......

[StoopTroup]

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1200/1439889654_5fc230b0de_o.jpg