Jokes

[SoCal]

The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who is also the first Oklahoma born president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says, “Dad, I want you to come to my inauguration”.

“I don't think so. It's a 21 hour drive, your mother isn't as young as she used to be and my arthritis is acting up again.”

“Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door and drive you right to the inauguration.”

“I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”

“Oh Dad” replies Susan, “I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made for her.”

“Honey” Dad complains, “you know I can't eat those rich foods that your friends like to eat.”

The President-to-be responds, “Don't worry Dad. I’ll ensure your meals are salt free. I really want you to come.”

So her Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan Downsouth walks up to the Chief Justice to be being sworn in as President of the United States, and her parents are on the front row.

Her Dad turned to the senator sitting next to him and whispered, “You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States.”

The Senator whispers back, 'Yes I do.'

Dad says proudly, “Her brother played football at the University of Oklahoma for Bob Stoops.”

[Leroy Lizard]

I like it. Good joke.

[Seamus]

Nice. I hope I can retell it with some aplomb.

[Leroy Lizard]

One thing I don't understand: If his daughter is becoming the President of the United States, wouldn't that be much more important than playing football for Bob Stoops? It appears to me that the father has misplaced priorities. This joke is therefore not funny.

[jersey sooner]

that's why it's called a joke, lizzy

[olevetonahill]

I like it. Good joke.


One thing I don't understand: If his daughter is becoming the President of the United States, wouldn't that be much more important than playing football for Bob Stoops? It appears to me that the father has misplaced priorities. This joke is therefore not funny.

Now this is just Tarded :rolleyes:

[boomermagic]

One thing I don't understand: If his daughter is becoming the President of the United States, wouldn't that be much more important than playing football for Bob Stoops? It appears to me that the father has misplaced priorities. This joke is therefore not funny.

OH NO !!!! Give me a damn break.. :O

[SoonerStormchaser]

Leroy, do you even read what you wrote before you post? You contradict yourself within two posts. Way to go Limptard!

[boomermagic]

Leroy, do you even read what you wrote before you post? You contradict yourself within two posts. Way to go Limptard!



:D :D :D

[StoopTroup]

Leriod's Boy Friend should get his own Troll handle IMO.

[Leroy Lizard]

I keep fishing, but I keep landing the same mudsuckers.

[olevetonahill]

I keep fishing, but I keep landing the same mudsuckers.

LAS, LAS, is that you?:pop:

[Leroy Lizard]

LAS, LAS, is that you?:pop:

LAS? I prefer being called Limptard.

[Quik Sand]

Figured this thread was about OSU

[StoopTroup]

Turned into a call for help again from Fresno

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qFBGyY-0KLU/ScrJMM0RytI/AAAAAAAAGtA/qZ1lZ6bMaHg/s400/Fresno+Shanty+Town.JPG

[OU_Sooners75]

I like it. Good joke.

So you like the joke...thought it was a good one.


One thing I don't understand: If his daughter is becoming the President of the United States, wouldn't that be much more important than playing football for Bob Stoops? It appears to me that the father has misplaced priorities. This joke is therefore not funny.

Within 2 posts and 12 minutes: You don't understand the joke and therefore you do not think it is funny. Which means you do not like the joke.


Sounds like the other threads limptard posts in! :pop:

[jersey sooner]

Lizzy has a boyfriend? This does not surprise me

[OU_Sooners75]

Hell, I thought it was Jersey.

[Leroy Lizard]

So you like the joke...thought it was a good one.



Within 2 posts and 12 minutes: You don't understand the joke and therefore you do not think it is funny. Which means you do not like the joke.


Sounds like the other threads limptard posts in! :pop:

I cast into a whole school apparently.

[jumperstop]

Woman as president....****ing hilarious!

[soonerbrat]

i don't think all the stuff in the middle about dad being reluctant to go really adds that much to the joke.

[agoo758]

One thing I don't understand: If his daughter is becoming the President of the United States, wouldn't that be much more important than playing football for Bob Stoops? It appears to me that the father has misplaced priorities. This joke is therefore not funny.

If this wasn't leroid, I, and anyone else, would easily assume this to be sarcasm.

[StoopTroup]

If this wasn't leroid, I, and anyone else, would easily assume this to be sarcasm.

Did he actually outwit himself in this thread and then get pissed about himself?

I wonder if he's gonna kick his own ***? :D

fswlLUl73xI

[OU_Sooners75]

I admit I got caught being a ****ing retard.

At least you admit it.

[Leroy Lizard]

Another problem with the joke: A mother living in Oklahoma wouldn't have a coat nice enough to wear to the Inaugration. Why wasn't that mentioned? That just kills the joke right there. How can anyone laugh at a joke with such a serious hole in the story?

[OU_Sooners75]

you're trying too hard.

[MyT Oklahoma]

So I hear that they are going to build a brand new 14 hole golf course in Lawrence to replace Alvamar Country Club.

They really wanted 18 holes but they couldn't finish the final four. ;)

[StoopTroup]

http://www.homebrewtalk.com/gallery/data/1/thumbs/rimshot.gif

[texaspokieokie]

took 2 tries Leroy, but you finally got it right. also you coerced several dumb replies from others who really thot you were that stupid.
:D

[olevetonahill]

took 2 tries Leroy, but you finally got it right. also you coerced several dumb replies from others who really thot you were that stupid.
:D

You must not know him very well then .:rolleyes:

[tfoolry]

What do you call a rabbit with herpes?

[tfoolry]

Peter Rotten Tail

[Leroy Lizard]

took 2 tries Leroy, but you finally got it right. also you coerced several dumb replies from others who really thot you were that stupid.
:D

I seriously think I could play the same "I don't get the joke" bit a dozen times and the same two will bite on it every time.

[goingoneight]

What does Mike Gundy do after beating OU?

Turns his playstation off and goes to bed.




What's the difference between Texas and Cheerios?

Cheerios belong in a bowl.




How do you stop an aggy from masturbating?

Paint his **** crimson and cream, he won't beat it for years!




What do you call a horn fan riding on a airplane?

Fag. Location makes no difference.




VY = Wonderlic Wonder

Colt = Cart

Zac Robinson = Sack Robinson





Saw a Chris Weinke 2000 National Championship Edition watch this weekend. It's got liver spotted hands and it's running out of time.

[Peach Fuzz]

ha thats some good ****

[olevetonahill]

I seriously think I could play the same "I don't get the joke" bit a dozen times and the same two will bite on it every time.

You an LAS have us all going :rolleyes:

[Leroy Lizard]

You an LAS have us all going :rolleyes:

Just a nibble that time.

[olevetonahill]

Just a nibble that time.

Dayum Ya got me again :rolleyes:

[Leroy Lizard]

Dayum Ya got me again :rolleyes:

Like that's sayin' much.

[Jello Biafra]

there's 5 minutes of my life ill never see again.