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3rdgensooner
3/28/2011, 10:08 AM
Regrets, I’ve had a few (but not too few to mention) (http://mindhacks.com/2011/03/27/regrets-ive-had-a-few-but-not-too-few-to-mention/)

The ‘Regrets of the Typical American’ have been analysed in a new study (http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/1948550611401756) that not only looks at what US citizens regret most, but provides some clues for those wanting to know whether it is better to regret something you haven’t done, or regret something you have.

The research has just been published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science and was carried out by psychologists Mike Morrison and Neal Roese who used random dialling to call people and survey them about a troubling regret.

As blues singers have suggested for years, love tops the list:

http://cdn.physorg.com/newman/gfx/news/hires/2011/sources_of_regret.jpg

Previous studies on regret have talked to college students who are probably not ideal for this sort of research as they tend to be quite young and, quite frankly, really haven’t ****ed up enough to give a good idea of what the average person laments about their life.




This was the first study to survey a representative sample of all ages, incomes and education levels and although love topped the list, there were some interesting differences in the details.
Women, who tend to value social relationships more than men, have more regrets of love (romance, family) compared to men. Conversely, men were more likely to have work-related (career, education) regrets. Those who lack either higher education or a romantic relationship hold the most regrets in precisely these areas.
Americans with high levels of education had the most career-related regrets. Apparently, the more education obtained, the more acute may be the sensitivity to aspiration and fulfillment. Moreover, the youngest and least-educated people in our sample, who most likely possess the greatest capability of fixing their regrets, were indeed the most likely to provide fixable regrets. The study also found that regrets about things you haven’t done were equally as common as regrets about things you have, no matter how old the person.

The difference between the two is often a psychological one, because we can frame the same regret either way – as regret about an action: ‘If only I had not dropped out of school’; or as a regret about an inaction: ‘If only I had stayed in school’.

Despite the fact that they are practically equivalent, regrets framed as laments about actions were more common and more intense than regrets about inactions, although inaction regrets tended to be longer lasting.

So the question of whether it is better to regret something you haven’t done than regret something you have, might actually be answerable for some people, but we still don’t know how much choice we have over adopting the different views of regrets or whether this is largely determined by the situation.

jumperstop
3/28/2011, 10:12 AM
I regret reading this thread....lol. But really I could have told you a lot of that without the chart.

soonerchk
3/28/2011, 10:38 AM
I don't do regrets. All the stupid things I've done got me to where I am, and I mostly like it.

Tulsa_Fireman
3/28/2011, 10:46 AM
My butt regrets that six months I did in David L. Moss correctional facility.

NormanPride
3/28/2011, 10:49 AM
I regret not getting a house sooner. I regret not marrying baj sooner. That pretty much sums it up for me. Maybe if I did it all over again I'd be a doctor.

diegosooner
3/28/2011, 11:00 AM
I regret that I allowed the nicotine debil to control me for nearly 20 years before I killed him.

Leroy Lizard
3/28/2011, 11:35 AM
My favorite are those who could have had it all, but pissed it away on drugs or general lack of ambition. "I have no regrets." In other words, you are incapable of learning.

Leroy Lizard
3/28/2011, 11:36 AM
I regret not getting a house sooner. I regret not marrying baj sooner. That pretty much sums it up for me. Maybe if I did it all over again I'd be a doctor.

I regret losing baj to NormanPride. It isn't so much lovesickness, but humiliation.

Caboose
3/28/2011, 12:25 PM
I would wager that women tend to regret things they did more while men tend to regret things they didnt do more, especially regarding early adulthood/teen years.

Women - "I wish I hadnt slept with Johnny Football Star"
Men - "I wish I had beaten the sh!t out of Johnny Football Star that one time he broke the window in my car"

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 12:53 PM
When I was doing geriatric care right after the Army pretty much everybody who was old/dying regretted "not taking more risk."

I heard things like "I wish I would have just bought that farm I wanted but couldn't really afford" or "I wish I would have jumped out of that airplane when I had a chance" or "I wish I would have bought that Corvette" or "I wish I would have taken that trip to New Zealand." I never heard any of them say "I wish I never would have" except for one thing. "I wish I never would have picked up these g-damn cigarettes. Look at me now, they've killed me."

OhU1
3/28/2011, 01:10 PM
I dealt with a defendant who had the words "No Regrets" tattooed across the middle of his forehead in big black letters. If that's an example of living life with no regrets I'll stick to the 9 to 5 world. :)

MsProudSooner
3/28/2011, 02:08 PM
Go to SoonerSports.com and read what Leah Rush has been doing since she graduated from OU. I regret not doing that!

http://www.soonersports.com/sports/w-baskbl/spec-rel/032511aac.html

KantoSooner
3/28/2011, 03:15 PM
Yeah, I think most people regret not taking more chances.


On the other hand, speaking as a guy who shot his wad starting up a semiconductor company...just in time for the industry to crash, thus eating up 20 years of savings and resulting in bancruptcy and divorce, there is a good word to be said for prudence, caution and conservative behavior.

On the third hand, the ex- didn't get any property in the settlement. I'd already flushed it down the endless toilet of a start-up.

Life works in mysterious ways.

CowboyMRW
3/28/2011, 03:20 PM
I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself.

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 03:25 PM
Regretting things you've done is kinda stupid and seriously counter-productive. If you hadn't done it, you wouldn't be who you are today.

I regret not finishing high school - but I learned a lot by getting arrested and spending time in jail and then joining the Army. I regret marrying the first yainch - but I ended up with 3 healthy boys and a serious understanding of what "dysfunctional crazy bitch" means. I regret smoking dope and doing drugs - but it gives me insight into the problem that is drug abuse. Everybody has stuff like this.

Do I wish I would have done things differently? You bet. Do I regret anything? No. My experiences molded me into the ******* that I am.

Now if I never get to Ireland to do my pub tour, and to England to do the Harry Potter tour I will regret it.

Aldebaran
3/28/2011, 03:37 PM
I regret that I read the last post. It was almost as banal as people who yammer about abortion using their harrowing story of surviving their parents choice as the ultimate reason they are against abortion.


So... C&C > Tim Tebow but < the 30 seconds I lost.

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 03:40 PM
I regret that I read the last post. It was almost as banal as people who yammer about abortion using their harrowing story of surviving their parents choice as the ultimate reason they are against abortion.


So... C&C > Tim Tebow but < the 30 seconds I lost.

Slow reader huh? 30-seconds? Dexter, is that you?

Aldebaran
3/28/2011, 03:42 PM
I included the time taken to draft and edit the response as well.

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 03:44 PM
You had to edit that POS? Guess you had to look up the meaning of "banal" and then try to use it in a sentence.

So, tell me oh learned one, do you have any regrets over things you've done?

Aldebaran
3/28/2011, 03:47 PM
You mean besides read your response and subsequent reading speed smack?

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 03:53 PM
Yeah, besides that.

You know offer something to the conversation besides your normal snark?

3rdgensooner
3/28/2011, 04:00 PM
Somebody get the ruler

Aldebaran
3/28/2011, 04:01 PM
I'm sure it wouldn't measure up to calling people who have regrets stupid. But there was this one girl with huge teeth that I probably wouldn't have dated if I could go back in time. We'd be champions and I'd have gone pro, makin' millions of dollars.

3rdgensooner
3/28/2011, 04:03 PM
I'm sure it wouldn't measure up to calling people who have regrets stupid. But there was this one girl with huge teeth that I probably wouldn't have dated if I could go back in time. We'd be champions and I'd have gone pro, makin' millions of dollars.
The teeth ate your skills?

Mississippi Sooner
3/28/2011, 04:04 PM
:pop:

Aldebaran
3/28/2011, 04:04 PM
One should always mix regrets with an Uncle Rico quote.

3rdgensooner
3/28/2011, 04:07 PM
One should always mix regrets with an Uncle Rico quote.I regret not recognizing this.

Mjcpr
3/28/2011, 04:09 PM
I regret that anyone would get a Prince Albert.

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 05:01 PM
Somebody get the ruler

No need. Some things are just a given.

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 05:06 PM
I'm sure it wouldn't measure up to calling people who have regrets stupid. But there was this one girl with huge teeth that I probably wouldn't have dated if I could go back in time. We'd be champions and I'd have gone pro, makin' millions of dollars.

You're gonna make me call you Dexter again, huh? I said "Regretting things you've done is kinda stupid and seriously counter-productive. If you hadn't done it, you wouldn't be who you are today." Why don't you explain how that is calling "people who have regrets stupid" without the multiple caveats.

So, being the HR (that's Human Relations NOT Human Resources) kinda guy I am, I've just gotta ask. There really is a girl with huge teeth, huh? She bit you, huh? Dude, I know, that sucks.

Blue
3/28/2011, 05:17 PM
Not finishing my degree at OU. I just didn't realize the opportunity I had. Especially since OU won the title two years after i went to Auburn.

Drugs. I was never a druggie, but realize now the negative impact it had on my life. Drunken mistakes as well.

Women- The ones I should have dated, the ones I did. (Not all but a few.)

But really I am happy with where I'm at. Knowing what I want, humbled from past mistakes, and no huge mistakes (Im alive, no kids, no alimony)

C&CDean
3/28/2011, 05:20 PM
Oh yeah. One more. Not perma-banning Blue.

Blue
3/28/2011, 05:21 PM
Heh.

Adrian
3/28/2011, 06:41 PM
I regret that anyone would get a Prince Albert.

Or get a tongue ring...

A Sooner in Texas
3/28/2011, 07:59 PM
Or get a tongue ring...

Weawwy? Cauth they can be kinda fun. At leatht my boyfriend thayth tho.

Soonerfan88
3/28/2011, 08:09 PM
I regret not doing things earlier than I did. I guess that gets back to the risk factor - had to convince myself I could do it.